Help with nephew

[rycbar123]

I've been lurking for a while now and thought I would start with a question.

I am multi-racial (mom is white and dad is Black and Cuban) but I did not know my father or his family growing up. I was raised by my mom/grandma in a white town and a white high school. Once I hit college I was able to immerse myself through programs and such at school but to say I was behind in cultural awareness is an understatement.

All this to say, I have a nephew (cousins son) who is bi-racial with a father who is not in the picture. He is on the track to be raised like I was and  I really want to help him and raise him better then I was in regards to race issues. 

I guess I just need help on what to do with him, how to help him etc. We live in the middle of Illinois so not much around. His mom does not see the importance of this at all and I think he is just now realize how different he is (he will be 8 next month).

[meshaliuknits]

That's tough. IDK how often you see him, but I would try to share aspects of your culture with him at whatever opportunities you have. Foods associated with holidays, why certain holidays are important in your culture, how they're traditionally celebrated. Get books depicting little boys who look like him. Whatever you know and can share.

Ignoring his heritage does him a disservice. And, honestly, if he looks black, I would worry for his safety as he gets older if his mama is going to ignore his differences entirely.

[rycbar123]

I already worry for his safety. I've experienced some shit things in our small town and he will be growing up in one just like it.

I am able to see him often which helps. My hopes is to find an older black male that he can form some kind of bond with I just don't know how to go about finding someone like that.

He is such a sweet kid and I want to help him as much as I can. I realize there are things that he is going to have to learn from me because his mom is so incredibly oblivious to it all no matter how much I try to talk to her.

Anyways thanks for the reply!

[meshaliuknits]

Good luck!

[thejackpot]

Is he involved in any sports? After school activities? I am in MD and I have no personal experience but we have an organization called 100 Black Men and they do community outreach, not sure if there is a mentor opportunity involved. I was a Big Sister in college and I was paired with a young girl from Honduras, maybe you have something similar there. Good luck! Make sure you share books, opportunities in the community etc.

[rycbar123]

There is a central Illinois chapter of 100 Black Men so thank you thejackpot ,! I've forwarded the application to his mother, hopefully she fills it out and is proactive in getting him into the program.

I've been sharing with him as much as I can. It's a process as he hasn't had much contact with his father and that side of his family. In all honestly I think he just realized he's different because about a month ago when I went to see him he said to me "Look Aunt rycbar, I'm brown" and showed me his arm. I just told him me too and made a comment about how pretty it is.

I'm sorry I'm blabbering but thanks for the help!