Can you help me? School?

[chelsmat]

So we moved our kids to a new school we thought would be a better fit. Turns out, I'm not sure it is. My 2nd grader has no friends and he's still crying periodically at drop off. We've been in school here a month. My kindergartener has lots of friends he talks about, but all 9 kids he invited to his birthday party can't make it. He has no school friends coming at all. I just am starting to feel like I made a horrible mistake taking them out of the neighborhood school. How long would you give it before switching back? I feel like I haven't given it a chance but I'm also longing to go back to where everyone was semi comfortable. I just feel like a terrible mother. How long would you wait until you decided they just weren't adjusting?

[lala]

I think more than a month. What have you done with the 2nd grader to help adjust? Have you talked to the teacher? At that age I feel like kids are still pretty welcoming to new kids.

[momin2013]

Man, I'm sorry; that must be a rough way to be feeling. I'm sure you had valid reasons for switching them, so try to keep those in mind while things sort themselves out at the new school.

I know kindergarten age shouldn't have any issues with making friends; I'm guessing the party thing is more a problem with the timing that just didn't work for the kids he invited. Would you consider sending out a another round of invites to more of the kids?

For the 2nd grader, I'd definitely speak to the teacher. If the teacher's aware of the issue, he/she should hopefully be able to pay a bit more attention to what's going on (if they're not aware already). Things like putting kids into groups to work together, pairing kids up into buddies, etc. can help. And I would give it more than a month, even at that age; getting settled into a new environment takes time, but be in touch with the teacher about it for sure.

[nicolewi]

What were the reasons for switching? What swayed you toward this school? If those reasons are still valid, definitely give it more time. I'd say at least 2 months. I also would try talking to the teacher for your second grader. So sorry. Friend stuff is really hard.

[chelsmat]

Sept 6, 2017 6:31:48 GMT -5 lala said:

I think more than a month. What have you done with the 2nd grader to help adjust? Have you talked to the teacher? At that age I feel like kids are still pretty welcoming to new kids.

It's for sure my DS issue and not that the kids are unwelcoming. It's almost like he has social anxiety.

[chelsmat]

Sept 6, 2017 10:38:15 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

What were the reasons for switching? What swayed you toward this school? If those reasons are still valid, definitely give it more time. I'd say at least 2 months. I also would try talking to the teacher for your second grader. So sorry. Friend stuff is really hard.

We moved because DS1 kept complaining he was bored at school and his teacher wasn't great in kinder or first so we thought this educational model would be a better fit and it is, in that he is really enjoying what he is learning. It's just he struggles so much socially that maybe I should have kept him with his friends instead of worrying about challenging him? I don't know. I feel like the worst mom over all of this. I'm meeting with the teacher Friday so I suppose I will know more then

[lala]

Sept 6, 2017 15:30:51 GMT -5 chelsmat said:

Sept 6, 2017 6:31:48 GMT -5 lala said:

I think more than a month. What have you done with the 2nd grader to help adjust? Have you talked to the teacher? At that age I feel like kids are still pretty welcoming to new kids.

It's for sure my DS issue and not that the kids are unwelcoming. It's almost like he has social anxiety.

Then the issue isn't the school or moving them, the issue is teaching him or getting him the help he needs to handle the situation. Talk to his teacher & the school counselor. 

[abs]

Sept 6, 2017 17:20:21 GMT -5 lala said:

Sept 6, 2017 15:30:51 GMT -5 chelsmat said:

It's for sure my DS issue and not that the kids are unwelcoming. It's almost like he has social anxiety.

Then the issue isn't the school or moving them, the issue is teaching him or getting him the help he needs to handle the situation. Talk to his teacher & the school counselor. 

This. I'm glad you have a conference scheduled--hopefully you and the teacher will be able to come up with some ideas to help your DS. If he has social anxiety though you also need to speak with the counselor and probably your pedi to see what the next steps are. Anxiety is no fun! He may need some outside help to help manage it. Hope he finds his place soon.