Week of Sept 4

[mpc]

Hi all, how's it going? We are busy preparing for the hurricane - I'm on the east coast of Florida. We've stocked up on supplies and might start putting up hurricane shutters today or tomorrow. I've got 400 oz of breastmilk in the freezer that I'm nervous about losing. I've been filling bags with ice to pack around it all. 

[cherryvalance]

mpc, stay safe! Will you consider evacuating? (I'm not sure where the storm is expected to hit).

I'm in NJ, but if the storm travels and hits us like Sandy or Irene, we will lose power. I can at least bring my stored breastmilk to my mom's house.

We're hanging out today. DS had his month pedi appointment yesterday and she recommended physical therapy for his torticollis. Finding a therapist, in network, who sees infants is damn near impossible. Ugh. Otherwise, he's doing great and developing well! He's already a 9 lb 10 oz chunkster!

[thoseareradishes]

mpc, hope you guys are okay and the storm doesn't hit you guys.

cherryvalance, what about early intervention? We just had E evaluated and they use a sliding scale for payment. The therapists come to your house.

So we finally dropped a night bottle; she slept 5ish hours so that was pretty sweet, except I tossed and turned waiting for her to wake up!

[cherryvalance]

thoseareradishes, luckily I found an out of network provider who looked us up. We apparently already met our deductible and will only have to pay our copay and they'll accept the insurance cap payment, so it's basically like going in network. Otherwise, I'm waiting on early intervention to get back to us if this doesn't work out.

So jealous of your five hours, but hopefully you can enjoy it more next time!

[King26]

I feel like I can't get anything done. J is 12 days old and we're doing the best we can. I am happy to say he's slept SO much better the last 4 nights so while we are tired, we are no long zombie exhausted. Once he goes down his first stretch is always 2 1/2 -3 hours now which is amazing. Then it gets shorter as the night progresses but I'll take 5 hours of sleep a night as opposed to like 2 or 3.

I'm still struggling with breastfeeding. I'm not producing enough I don't care what anyone says. He's still hungry after feedings so we are supplementing 4 times a day with 1 oz. formula each time. Once is always before bed so he sleeps and once is always in the morning and the other 2 are whenever he needs it. I've made my peace with it and with the fact I might not be able to breastfeed him for long. I'm worried about our appointment tomorrow and how much he might weigh.

The lactation consultant FINALLY got back to me today...5 days after the fact. Glad it wasn't an emergency. I want to do a weighted feeding to see how much J is transferring. I know it's something because he will nurse for an hour and have a milky smile when he pulls away most times. When I pump I only get a total of around 1/2 an ounce and that's first thing in the mornig. If I pump later on it's usually like 5 ml at a time so I can't imagine I can sustain him at this point.

We did newborn photos this morning. I was worried to death because he was SO cranky this morning but the woman was awesome. She was patient, had her studio set at 85 degrees so he was warm and snug, and got some great shots. She has 2 boys herself which I think helps. I can't wait to see the photos.

I hope you don't get hit by Irma mpc, That's scary stuff!
I hope you can find someone to do PT with him cherryvalance, I bet a lot of people don't do infants.

[oneslybookworm]

Hey ladies...hope everyone is having an OK week!

Little man G had his 2 month appointment this morning. He has GROWN! His birth weight was 5lbs even, he's now up to 10lbs, 5oz...so doubled his birth weight in 2 months. He's also grown 3 inches in length, so...he's finally on the growth curve!! At his 2 week appt he was always less than 1% in height, weight and HC.

He favors his left side, so his head is getting a little flat there. We're going to work on bolstering him to force his head on the other side so it'll even out some. Otherwise, he's doing really well! The doctor was pleased with everything, so...I'm happy. He's been sleeping and slightly fussy all day today, likely from the shots, but we've not had to give him any Tylenol or anything.

All in all, we're doing well here!!

[dellabear]

King26 , definitely do a weighted feed, many people can't pump much at all but do have plenty of milk. On my most engorged day I pumped 4 oz in one sitting but typically it was more like 2, tops. But I did manage to EBF both kids to 6 months. Usually if a baby isn't getting anything they'll scream and fuss at the breast but there's always a chance you're being used as a human soother. Hang in there, this stuff is hard!

I started back to work this week after 16 months away (!). While I was gone we got a new boss and he is turning out to be not so great. We also moved to a new office space and it's pretty grim and demotivating. I'm trying to focus on the positive for now, I do like the work, the kids are doing well with their transition and it'll be nice to be paid again.

[shoeless]

mpc stay safe!

@king26 Hang in there. I agree with dellabear, he's probably getting more than you think. That being said, a fed baby is all that matters.

As for me, we switched insurance, and our drugs for the FET are no longer covered (and I need them to sustain pregnancy). Needless to say spending $500/week for 10-12 weeks (assuming success) just adds more pain to the process.

[loira]

King26, you were fantastically productive before having J. It's probably quite a shock not to get anything "concrete" done, but it's totally normal. It used to bother me a lot, too. I felt totally overwhelmed but also totally unproductive. No advice other than I would just write out a 1 item to-do list every day and make sure I checked that item off. It was often "have a shower", but at least I knew I had done something... I also had a lot of anxiety about my baby's weight. I hope you can do a weighted feed soon. Hang in there!

AFM, fuck, A's day home can't take her now because the lady's own daughter has some health issues or something. And it was incredibly last minute. I mean, I feel for her. It totally sucks. But I mostly feel bad for me because now I am stuck with NO CHILDCARE and a shit ton of deadlines, and I'm going to be working well into the night because I can't work during the day with a toddler running around.

[mpc]

My H stayed home today to put up the shutters. I'm at work because we have a big meeting with a bunch of people from out of town. But mostly I'm at work because I don't have much leave left after taking my maternity leave. I'm hoping they close down tomorrow so we don't have to come in, but that remains to be seen. We still have no idea if we will stay or go. We are on the mainland (used to live on a barrier island) so that's an improvement. Last year for Matthew we drove inland to Orlando, but this time it seems like you'd need to get completely out of Florida. The roads are gonna be nuts.

ETA: just got work that work will be closed tomorrow and monday, so at least I don't have to worry about going in!

[konapoppy]

Stay safe mpc.

loira, that is so frustrating

oneslybookworm, what a great growth spurt!

Hang in there King26. A fed baby is a happy baby.

AFM, I can't beliece these girls will come in the next 35 days. I feel both ready and totally unprepared lol. Luckily I am not having nightmares about delivery, probably because I have zero control.

I have an OB appointment next week with the doctor I like. I think if the girls are head down with him we will definitely try a vaginal delivery. I don't think the other doctor has delivered many if any second babies breech, which means I would probably opt for a c section if she is on call.

[mpc]

King26, I can never pump as much as DD gets when she's actually breastfeeding. She's so much better at getting milk out of me and my body doesn't really like the pump as much. That's good you are supplementing to keep him well fed, but I'd bet he's getting a little more out of you than it looks like when you pump.

oh loira, that sucks about your childcare! I'm sorry!

[janegold]

Sept 6, 2017 21:33:38 GMT -5 dellabear said:

King26 , definitely do a weighted feed, many people can't pump much at all but do have plenty of milk. On my most engorged day I pumped 4 oz in one sitting but typically it was more like 2, tops. But I did manage to EBF both kids to 6 months. Usually if a baby isn't getting anything they'll scream and fuss at the breast but there's always a chance you're being used as a human soother. Hang in there, this stuff is hard!

Yep, same with me.  In those early days (first few months), he was nursing so frequently that I hardly ever got anything when pumping.  I was worried about my supply so I worked with a LC for a while. The weighted feeds showed that he was getting enough. His weight gain was on the slow side for a while, though, so I worked with the LC on techniques to improve my supply.  Not sure if it eventually worked, but things eventually evened out and he spaced out his feedings to the point where I wasn't feeling like he was constantly nursing and hungry; I want to say around 3 months?  I also started supplementing with formula around that time and it helped a lot - if nothing else, it saved my sanity.  Don't feel bad about supplementing at all, King26.

[cherryvalance]

King26, I am supplementing too, for the opposite reason. I feel like he barely takes anything, I pump so much, and he's having an upset tummy from too much foremilk. As long as they're fed <3.

oneslybookworm, we're dealing with the start of a flat left head, too, because of the torticollis. If it's not one thing, it's another, right?

[Chrysanthemum]

oneslybookworm, cherryvalance, C has a flat head, too. His is proportionate across the back, but pretty noticeable. We started PT at 6 months because the doctors believed it was positional (he still doesn't roll much at 8 months) and it has helped build his strength a ton. I was VERY freaked out at first when the pedi made the referral. I had mommy eyes and had not even noticed it was flat. We debated a helmet for a little while, but it in the end decided against it. Anyways, all that to say I've been there and it's hard and PT is the BEST if you decide to go that route.

[cherryvalance]

Chrysanthemum, aw, poor baby, but I'm glad you had a good experience with PT! DS starts on Tuesday, and I'm hoping that will help with positioning and rounding him out. How often did you guys go?

ETA: Can I add that I feel a little crazy because it seems like I always have another issue with DS. He had that weird breathing that scared me, the torticollis, oversupply tummy issues, possible reflux. The pedi probably thinks I'm a lunatic, lol.

[thoseareradishes]

shoeless, would insurance cover the meds once you are pregnant? I know sometimes they won't cover for IF, but will for pregnancy.

mpc, how are you guys doing?

[pandora89]

I am going to slide myself in here. First ultrasound today at 5 weeks 6 days showed a little bean measuring right on track at 5 weeks 6 days. Was also able to see the heart beat at 110 bpm.

Next ultrasound is on the 18th since my RE is out of the office a week today. Going to be the longest week and a half of my life.

[mpc]

Ah pandora that's so fantastic that you saw a heartbeat so early!!

Radishes, we are doing good so far. Every little shift to the west is a little better for us. It's kind of weird that we're all ready and boarded up but still so much time til the worst hits. Better than the other way i guess

[loira]

Well my childcare woes continue. Had a lead on a Spanish immersion day home, and while the lady who runs it is really nice, there are just too many toddlers in her care for A to get the one on one attention she needs to transition into the care of a complete stranger. She gets overwhelmed SO easily, and I now feel like she needs a really small group, or a large daycare where there are more caregivers to help her through the transition. Now I have a lead on a Russian lady who runs a day home with 2 kids max in her care, which sounds maybe more manageable for A.

And why is childcare so competitive? I feel like every time we visit one of these places it's some sort of test for A and me, not the other way around! I am going to write my MP tonight because this is ridiculous. We need to have a government subsidized daycare program. Tagging awick14 to warn her to get right on this for her DD because I've heard Van is just as bad.

[Chrysanthemum]

cherryvalance, We've been going every 2 weeks since mid July. Next week is supposed to be our last biweekly appointment and then we're scheduled for a monthly visit in October and November. We'll see if they keep to this plan though. And I hear you on there always being something. I thought that once we got past IF, things would get easy! C gave us a big heart scare in utero, then didn't pass his hearing tests until he got tubes at 4 months, has/had acid reflux and started Zantac at 8 weeks, and now gross motor delays and a HUGE, flat head and <1%ile length. There's always something to worry about! I think it's good you're starting so early, I underestimated the importance of tummy time early on. Good luck on Tuesday!

[loira]

cherryvalance , Chrysanthemum , oneslybookworm , A hated tummy time when she was young. Plus she loved sleeping on her back, and slept for long stretches early on. She had a pretty bad flat spot at the back. We did not go the helmet route because it's not as common in Canada and doctors dissuaded us at every turn. At 19 months it is noticeably better. She mainly sleeps on her tummy now, and I think that plus sitting up at 7 months made a big difference. Her head is still flat, but has definitely rounded out. You can see from the back of her neck, it comes out and around now, instead of just going straight UP. It has rounded out up top, too. It's still flattish along the back, but nowhere near as bad. It may never totally round out, but her hair should cover most of it. Just wanted to give you a (sort of) success story of a baby who didn't wear a helmet turning out just fine.

ETA: although a helmet is a totally valid route, too, if you need to do it.

[cactuscookie]

King26, any word on the lactation consultant? Do you have an appointment set up?

As far as not being able to get anything done, I know it's a really hard adjustment. I think was like you before having a baby, I was busy and productive except for when I was relaxing because I'd earned it, and then suddenly you just...can't. You can't be productive, and you can't really relax. I think it comes back in stages - in a month or so, he'll settle into longer naps, and then the big difference for us was sleep training, when we could finally count on her to take regular timed naps. And now I'm really looking forward to the day when I can leave her alone for 5 minutes at a time...

[cactuscookie]

Sept 8, 2017 21:29:50 GMT -5 loira said:

Well my childcare woes continue. Had a lead on a Spanish immersion day home, and while the lady who runs it is really nice, there are just too many toddlers in her care for A to get the one on one attention she needs to transition into the care of a complete stranger. She gets overwhelmed SO easily, and I now feel like she needs a really small group, or a large daycare where there are more caregivers to help her through the transition. Now I have a lead on a Russian lady who runs a day home with 2 kids max in her care, which sounds maybe more manageable for A.

And why is childcare so competitive? I feel like every time we visit one of these places it's some sort of test for A and me, not the other way around! I am going to write my MP tonight because this is ridiculous. We need to have a government subsidized daycare program. Tagging awick14 to warn her to get right on this for her DD because I've heard Van is just as bad.

Gah, so frustrating! I hope you find something that works asap. We were ridiculously lucky when it came to daycare - in our little town, there aren't many options, so I basically signed us up for the first one that was recommended to me, and it's been wonderful. But we're going to move in a few months, so we'll have to find somewhere new, and I know the transition will be hard on H. I'm guessing A is the same way - sure, new stuff is great, as long as her safety net (aka mama) is around.
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[loira]

cactuscookie , omg yes. I can't wait until I don't have to watch Anna every waking second. She's not even a kid who gets into much, but she STILL manages to get into things. The other day we went to a cafe by ourselves and the bathroom wasn't big enough for the stroller. So I brought her in with me and let her loose, and the second I went to wash my hands she put her hand in the toilet bowl. In the public toilet! Aaaacckkk!

[awick14]

loira- childcare is horrible. I am struggling so much with finding care. DH doesn't have a job there yet so he will take on the role of being a stay at home dad but he doesn't really want to do this. He hasn't taken care of DD for longer then 3-4 hrs at a time before. So it's going to be a huge shock for him. I do have 1-2 leads but I'm not sure they will pan out.

[cherryvalance]

Thanks, loira! I'm glad to hear she's doing well and it wasn't a lasting problem!

[loira]

awick14, that will be a big transition for him. I will say my H loved being home with A. I tried really hard not to let my anxiety dictate my need to control how he did things, and they developed their own routine. Maybe you guys will luck into some part time care so he can have a couple of days to himself to apply for jobs, get stuff done around the house, and take a break. Then when he gets a job maybe her name will have come up on some waitlists for full time. Have you tried joining a local childcare FB group? I'm on one for Vic, and there are so many more options - I originally didn't want to go the LNR route, but there are some really great ones out there. I'm still looking, but I think I'm a bit pickier because I'm really hoping for an immersion environment, and I also have to consider A's extremely guarded personality, so the personalities/ages of the other kids end up factoring in too, where they might not if she were more outgoing with new people.

[dellabear]

Yay pandora89, glad to see you here!

Sorry to hear about your childcare problems, loira - I totally agree that we need a national childcare program. Our daycare is going ok so far, a few small things I haven't liked but they're responsive and willing to work with us. Luckily there's a lot of choice around here right now because of the downturn. Now that the economy seems to be picking up, maybe that will change.

[Chrysanthemum]

Thank you loira! It does help to hear stories like yours. Making a decision about the helmet was REALLY hard and it seems the only personal stories we knew were ones from parents who did the helmet and of course were pro-helmet. My heart just told me that route wasn't for us though. GL on the childcare search!