Daycare accommodations

[july]

Pdq

We took my son out of daycare when he started chemo. We switched to targeted therapy and could take him back. He has a feeding tube in his nose because of poor eating while on chemo. We are hoping he weans off soon.

We used the daycare at my employer. The director said he couldn't come back because of the feeding tube. She made a general reference to state daycare regulations. She said she contacted a person in the department that regulates daycares to clarify. She told me to contact daycares that specialize in special need kids.

I contacted other normal daycares and they all said a feeding tube would be fine.

So, the director was misinformed or not wanting to mess with kids who may be different.

I contacted her again to clarify the accommodation. I just need the tube to be connected to the pump during regular meal times. It is very simple. We prepare the bag and the pump saves the settings. It is minor and would take no extra staffing or special training. She didn't respond.

We are touring a daycare this afternoon for my son.

I am expecting in November and was going to send the baby there. I have a hard time thinking about sending any kid there if they aren't welcoming to my son, but I don't really have another option right now.

I don't want to cut ties, but this makes me sad. They haven't been difficult with us before.

Should I start looking elsewhere or give this place a chance?

My mom was siding with the daycare so I don't know if I am being too emotional about it.

[miranda]

www.feedingtubeawareness.org/navigating-life/on-the-go/feeding-at-daycare/

I'm just guessing since it is your employer's daycare that is a larger place? Probably a chain/center? If so, they are just concerned about liability. I would speak with them again. Hopefully the feeding tube is temporary, and you'll want to use them in the future. I understand how upsetting this would be though. I looked at my own state's regulations on this and it (the state licensing board) warns daycares to thread lightly and consult with counsel before making a decision whether to accommodate a child with a feeding tube.

[waverly]

If they are not willing to accommodate and you know daycares that are willing to do so, then I would definitely explore my options.

it is tough though because I am assuming they are most convenient for you since they are at your employers.

[sahara78]

Ugh, how frustrating. I wouldn't push it if they don't want to accommodate him. I'd just worry they'd look for another reason to drop him.

[chickypoo]

Do they know it's an NG and not a G? Have you been able to explain exactly what they would need to do? What about pull outs? If it's at your work could you hook him up?

I'm in a tubie group and I know other moms have had this issue. But some have kids in regular daycare. Some have kids in a special needs daycare. But IMO an NG shouldn't equal SN.... I've even heard of schools refusing kids with tubes because the nurse wasn't trained or didn't have time or something.

I guess if I were you I would look up the legalities for my state. If they can't refuse maybe they just need some teaching. If they turn into Aholes then I would want to fight just for the principle, but I would find a new daycare.