When DS was a little older DH told him to say "Cool story, bro" and walk away.
This is fantastic! I am not controlled and I guess I'm often not nice. When someone bothered my son I tried to talk to him calmly and listened to what he said to the kid. And then I said I think if he does it again you should tell him he's a jerk. And my son said, "Just because someone is mean to you doesn't mean you should be mean to them too." Personally, I think that's exactly what it means but cool story, bro is a great reply for a "nice kid" to use!
When DS was a little older DH told him to say "Cool story, bro" and walk away.
This is fantastic! I am not controlled and I guess I'm often not nice. When someone bothered my son I tried to talk to him calmly and listened to what he said to the kid. And then I said I think if he does it again you should tell him he's a jerk. And my son said, "Just because someone is mean to you doesn't mean you should be mean to them too." Personally, I think that's exactly what it means but cool story, bro is a great reply for a "nice kid" to use!
I think kids get confused about the difference between actually being mean, and standing up for yourself/being assertive, you know? I don't think we do our kids any favors (especially the girls) by always pushing the "be nice" mentality. I mean, I tell my kids to be nice ("you don't have to be everyone's friend, but you do have to be nice"), but I also tell them to call a jerk a jerk when it's warranted, KWIM? That's not being mean. It's actually being nice, except it's being nice to yourself or the kid that's being bullied rather than the jerky kid. If that makes sense lol.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Sept 12, 2017 14:01:00 GMT -5
My kid is only 4.5, but I know he has told others to "stop being a bully" when they have been teasing, etc at school. I think it's fair that your son calls the kid what he is.
He also tells me that when I ask him to clean his room, so he may not exactly understand what a bully is.
There is a Llama Llama book with a bully character that might help reinforce what to do also. As I recall, Llama does a decent job of handling his bully.
This is fantastic! I am not controlled and I guess I'm often not nice. When someone bothered my son I tried to talk to him calmly and listened to what he said to the kid. And then I said I think if he does it again you should tell him he's a jerk. And my son said, "Just because someone is mean to you doesn't mean you should be mean to them too." Personally, I think that's exactly what it means but cool story, bro is a great reply for a "nice kid" to use!
I think kids get confused about the difference between actually being mean, and standing up for yourself/being assertive, you know? I don't think we do our kids any favors (especially the girls) by always pushing the "be nice" mentality. I mean, I tell my kids to be nice ("you don't have to be everyone's friend, but you do have to be nice"), but I also tell them to call a jerk a jerk when it's warranted, KWIM? That's not being mean. It's actually being nice, except it's being nice to yourself or the kid that's being bullied rather than the jerky kid. If that makes sense lol.
I do agree, but it's hard to navigate. He was 6 and in Kindergarten and that likely wouldn't have been acceptable if people in school had heard him. But I really think some kids ARE jerks. And, quite frankly, I don't think they're going to change. But there have been times when my reactions tended to be out of proportion, like if you pushed me my choice of retaliation would be to burn your house down. And now I think there are underreactions - telling someone to tell a bully that they've hurt their feelings is the absolute worst thing I can think of. He just started first grade and I'm sure he'll be finding out on his own more and more that all kids aren't nice and I'll have to find a balance of helping him deal with it that isn't as harsh as I would like to be but that's tougher than he prefers. And Karate!
Post by daisyfay25 on Sept 12, 2017 15:37:27 GMT -5
You've gotten some really good advice so I just thought I'd share that the term crocodile tears means fake/insincere emotions so if you talk to the coach don't say that, it may confuse him or her!