Stupid criminals, Navy edition

[amaristella]

You're a Navy sailor with not a lot to do on a Friday afternoon. What do you do to pass the time?

A) Go to the beach
B) Take a nap
C) Rob a Navy Federal, keep the money in the GPS tagged bag, take it back to base with you and then get caught trying to leave through the base's only exit gate with the gun and the money still on your person.

Sadly, stupid stuff like this happens at least once a quarter around here.

[G22]

Oh dear...

[Deleted]

Omg. Do they wear their uniform while doing it? Might as well...

[Deleted]

Wow.

[pennylane]

This made me laugh.

[basilosaurus]

I used to love hearing the police blotter on afn radio. So much dumb.

[brandienee]

LMAO!

[ilovelamp]

Holy crap that is ridiculous.

[basilosaurus]

B/c of this post, I'm now reading my local police dept's facebook. Funny!

[iluvrice26]

Oh my..... Hahaha!!! What a dummy!

[basilosaurus]

I've found a few good ones. One involves 2 dumb people, both victim and suspect.

Guy leaves his cell phone out of sight while showering (at the beach). Dumb. Comes back, phone is gone. Guy gets on ipad (somehow, not stolen) to track the phone. Cops follow gps, see it's on a bus, stop the bus, call the phone, and it rings in the suspect's hand. Good reminder for me to put a tracking app on my phone!

Another: a guy with $40k in outstanding warrants passes out while driving. EMS called in to rouse/treat him. Dude, if you're that wanted, try to refrain from driving while wasted. Comment: some dumbshit made a comment about how it's just like Obama's economics.

And my favorite, but only for the comment, some guy arrested in the middle of the night for trying to pick money from one of those pay parking slot thingies. The (poorly written) comment I'll paraphrase: that proves he's able bodied enough to get a job. I'm pretty sure if you've fallen so low you're picking dollar bills out of a pay lot at 3am, there's more wrong in your life than mere lack of a readily available job.

[basilosaurus]

Why do people think they can get away with stealing cars on an island? I'm sure there are some that get chopped and sold for parts, but if you keep driving it, you're bound to be caught. Especially if you're a dumbass who thinks that speeding in a stolen car is a good idea.

[G22]

Sept 15, 2012 17:18:51 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Why do people think they can get away with stealing cars on an island? I'm sure there are some that get chopped and sold for parts, but if you keep driving it, you're bound to be caught. Especially if you're a dumbass who thinks that speeding in a stolen car is a good idea.

This amused me. :Y:

[amaristella]

Sept 15, 2012 17:18:51 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Why do people think they can get away with stealing cars on an island? I'm sure there are some that get chopped and sold for parts, but if you keep driving it, you're bound to be caught. Especially if you're a dumbass who thinks that speeding in a stolen car is a good idea.

Definitely laughed out loud at that. I was just imagining somewhere like Catalina Island where it would be only the most obvious thing.

[basilosaurus]

OK, another island dumb criminal story.

My family is from an island far smaller than Oahu. About 200 people, 10 ft wide (or less depending on tide) at the narrows, about 3 blocks at the wide part. Maybe a mile long.

Some idiot broke into our house (well, opened the door, b/c no one locked) and took our VCR. The only problem? It was broken and chewed up tapes. Back then, there was no cable. Hell, we didn't even have phones beyond a single party line. So, everyone rented tapes from the 2 people who had a satellite dish. It was pretty easy to track the buy returning chewed up tapes.

[amaristella]

Oh, and my mom just sent me this one.
Headline: Navy: Conn. sub boss faked death to end affair.

Bonus points, I feel, because they actually managed to prosecute him for adultery even though it's been said on here that it's so difficult to prove.

www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iaFh2CEbTMHOXRouIOKAEjiWgSOQ?docId=94cd693b57244ea688e60f1b55ba6329