Extracurriculars as kids get older

[Edwardo123]

I haven't posted in a long time, but I still lurk occasionally. I have two daughters, 8 and almost 3. My oldest daughter loves swim and has been on our local Rec center's team for three winters. She swims on a neighborhood team outdoors in the summer. Over the summer, we were approached by a coach of a more competitive club team that swims at the local university. We have attended several practices during the trial period and she loves it. The problem is that with evening traffic it takes nearly 40 minutes to get there as opposed to 10. Also, the practices are 90 minutes compared to 60 minutes. She is expected to attend 4/6 practices. I really think this would be a great experience for her, but we would be gone for nearly three hours four times a week. With my husband's hours, weekday practices would be on me. I would also have to take my youngest and entertain her on campus. It's no big deal when the weather is nice, but I am already worried about January. The instruction is 100 times better, adult coaches versus high school coaches. Any advice from moms with older kids who have had to make the decision to switch from low key activities to club level.

[Covergirl82]

My DS loves sports, and I feel like we'll be struggling with this too in the near future. While I haven't been in this situation, I've thought a lot about it. I feel like what you described is A LOT of time for you and your DDs. It sounds like you'd spend at least 3 hours each evening she has practice (commute + practice). Is there another club team closer that you could check out? And then maybe go back to that one at the university when she's a little older?

I will say, if I thought that by moving to the university-based club team my kid could get to the Olympics (or maybe a significant college scholarship), I might spend that time and effort. Otherwise, probably not, at least at this age.

[akafred]

Sounds like my sister. She was a national level swimmer, got a full ride scholarship to college (but that is not common these days), and came in third in the Olympic trials in her best event when she was in college (they take the top 2). Swimming was such a HUGE part of her life that she got up early and did a weights class at like 4:30 before school and then practice after every day for like 20 years. I remember one year my mom made her take a year off from swimming because she wanted to make sure she actually still *liked* it. IDK; at this age I would be asking myself if this is something you want to maintain her whole childhood, and if it will still be a great opportunity in a year or two. Like, would saying no for now but saying yes in 2 years make a sizable difference in her life or outcome?

[rere]

I am pretty anti club at this stage. Over the years, I have seen sports go from a fun activity for kids, to an all year activity. This overwhelmes family taking over other, important things like family dinners, school work at times, and any time for other interest or hobbies. Overzealous adults have ruined sports in my opinion. I miss the days when I was in school when you could play a sport or maybe several if you chose, and it didn't overtake everything else.

[xctsclrx]

At 8 years old I would talk to the university coach and see if maybe for the next 2 years there was a private coaching or maybe if she could practice with them 2 days a week and then if she still likes it move up to full time. Another option might be to find someone who lives closer to you that might be able to take your oldest to practice and home again.

Honestly though, I would back burner this until the little one is swimming too. When the DD2 is older she might want to do something completely different. Logistics are hard in these situations.

[welly01]

Would your DD be satisfied to continue participating in the teams that she's currently on? Have you told her about the possibility of going to the university team? How does she feel about it? If she is not super excited, absolutely committed, I would hesitate to make this commitment. Is it year round or just for a season?

I'm kind of with rere on the sports taking over families. My kids are young so we don't have any experience with this yet but just the stories I hear from other parents are crazy. On the other hand, parents of Olympic athletes (and probably several levels below that) sacrifice everything to let their kid excel at whatever sport they've chosen.

[HeartofCheese]

Could you ask the coach if there are other parents interested in carpooling?

[erinshelley21]

Do you have to stay at the practice the entire time? If not, I would use the practice time as a chance to run errands and grab dinner with your youngest to kill some time. Or maybe hire a babysitter for one of the weekday practices.

The flexibility of getting to choose the days you attend practice is nice because that's not normally something I see in club sports around here. I'm with rere that parents are killing athletics and that at this age I probably wouldn't do club. I don't think I could even get my H to agree to it.

[2chatter]

I have always been pretty anti-club sports, and we live in a very very club oriented area. The time and money club sports demand just don't make sense to me, and the two club experiences we tried were not leaps and bounds ahead of non-club to "justify" the trade off, or when they were (training sessions) the same benefits could be accomplished at less cost and time with skills camps. I also like unstructured time for the kids daily and club schedules here pretty much destroyed that.

My oldest is 13 and is now on her school team - she was literally the only non-club player on the top team, but I firmly believe that is due to the culture of club sports over the benefits derived from them. There are some very gifted athletes on the team that I am certain would be just as gifted without club ball.

There is no way I would drive 40 minutes each way four days a week for a lengthy practice with a younger child. Unless that child wants to swim also, it would close the door for other activities.

I'd also discuss with your ped - the AAP has new guidelines around sports concentration and the impact on development and injuries. Kids sports rehab is a big business here. (My middle hopefully will be cleared to return tomorrow and has been out since June due to an overuse injury).

I'd also look ahead to what sports are offered in school and aim for some exposure to those if your child has any appetite to make a school team.

[Edwardo123]

She is really wanting to do it. She is nearing the end of the two week trial period. She has also attended to practices with her friends st the Rec, but is adamant about joining. The team that she was on at our Rec center and a Y team (not USA swimming) are the only other options near us. There are other teams but would be comparable driving times from our suburb. I will say the team is not overly competitive until the teenage years. At this time, the focus is on teaching technique and form. They let the kids play at the end of each practice- cannonballs off the diving boards, over-under relays, etc. She would still do Girl Scouts and one other after school activity, but no driving is needed as they occur at her school. I'm not super competitive, but I do think we would get more for our money. I am considering making her wait two years, but it feels selfish on my part. We can financially and timewise make it work, but it would impact my workout time and our younger daughter. I am looking into carpooling but wouldn't be comfortable for a few months to allow someone I barely know to drive her and be responsible for the three hours.

[waverly]

Personally I wouldn't. I highly doubt any of my kids will become scholarship athletes or near Olympic level ever.

It sounds like you are for it though, so different folks different strokes. Definitely not for me though especially at 8.

[186momx]

My sister started competitively club swimming at age 7. At age 24 she doesn't regret it at all and did end up swimming in college. I started swimming in high school and was just okay and had a lot of fun with it.
One thing to consider is that starting to swim competitively at 8 means you only race 25 yards events as you get older you race longer distances and joining at age 11 means you are swimming 100 or 200 yard events and that can be much harder to jump into. Here the coaches try to make swimming fun for the younger kids and not all about laps and times and they work on good techniques. I did know parents who drove 30+ minute into practice but that is because they lived in a rural town and the parents did shopping/errands during practice. Just realize that competitively swimming is a big time commitment and year round swimming means little to no off time.

[Edwardo123]

I am definitely learning that swimming is a time consuming sport. She was on the Rec team since age 5 with three-five 45 minute practices a week. She started competing with summer clubs at 4. My younger daughter can take lessons at the same location 2 of the evenings. At almost 3, she is able to jump off the diving board and swim to the edge independently. I should have considered the drive before offering the trial to my daughter. I really thought she would hate it. She has ADHD and usually struggles in extracurriculars. She has been in swim lessons or on a team since she was nine months with minimal breaks. She always misses it during the 6 week off season. I think we are going to go for it. We can always switch back or take a break if it is too much.

[mommyatty]

The ADHD changes the equation for me. I was in Camp No. But for a kiddo with ADHD who may have trouble finding their niche? I would do it. Plus exercise is so helpful for kids with ADHD.

Could you find a gym nearby so you could have time for your workouts while she swims? And/or an activity for your 3 year old like gymnastics or dance or something?

[Edwardo123]

Sept 14, 2017 6:30:12 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

The ADHD changes the equation for me. I was in Camp No. But for a kiddo with ADHD who may have trouble finding their niche? I would do it. Plus exercise is so helpful for kids with ADHD.

Could you find a gym nearby so you could have time for your workouts while she swims? And/or an activity for your 3 year old like gymnastics or dance or something?

It is my fault for not looking into anything before the trial. I was really taken by surprise that she liked it better than the team with close friends. After reading everyone's comments, I started looking into the area more to see how we could use the time better. I found out my youngest can do a swim lesson 2 of the days once she turns three(next month). My older daughter's practice is 6-7:30 and lessons are at 6:30. I think this will break up the time waiting. The other 2 practices are on Friday and Sunday evenings, so my husband can be home with my youngest or he can take the oldest. Since it is on a campus, there are places to walk/run, grab dinner, etc. Luckily, after practice, there is no traffic, so it takes less than 20 minutes to get home. Part of the 3 hours was that my daughter took forever in the locker room after practice. I just need to help her manage that better and we could be under 2 1/2 hours. Managing her extra energy is why we started swimming. Even on meds, she needs at least an hour of intense activity daily.

[xctsclrx]

It sounds like you guys were able to find a good work around. That's awesome that the 3 year old can also take swim lessons while big sis practices.

I would be begging DH to at least take the oldest on Friday, just so I could have the Sunday with no traffic either direction. haha. as for the locker room time, I know my friend in high school had one of those really absorbent towels. Shammys I think and she was able to dry her swimsuit enough to slip on some shorts and a tee shirt without ever having to go to the locker room.

[erinshelley21]

ADHD also changes my opinion and I'd probably go for it. It sounds like the club is in a great area with lots of things to do.

Solidarity for the locker room slowness. My brother was ALWAYS the very last one out of every locker room or dugout growing up. I have a feeling DS is on his way to being the same way.

[akafred]

Oh God yes to the locker room. I typically make us both go home wet when DD and I go swimming just to avoid that situation. (LOVE the idea of a chamois though!).