Just need to decompress

[akafred]

Deleted

[mommyatty]

Omg. Please talk to whomever is in charge. It became your business when she unloaded on you. It sounds like guilt talking. She lost a kid and she's going on the offensive to defend herself.

[akafred]

Just to clarify, the situation didn't happen in aftercare. So it isn't guilt. I do think it is "now I don't have to deal with the problem child anymore" though. Glee isn't the right word. But IDK the right word. Like a cousin of glee.

[twinmomma]

I'm with mommyatty - go above her head, especially since she's breaking all kinds of confidentiality/privacy issues with that conversation. I'd be constantly wondering if they talk to other families about me. And if she's an intern, this is the time to squash it.

[sweetptater]

That's not cool. If she can't deal with different personalities of kids, then she's in the wrong profession. I hate that this kid obviously has some issues and she's effectively given up on him and is unwilling to help. This is the time in his life when he needs MORE guidance, not less. My heart hurts for his poor mom.

[akafred]

Sept 14, 2017 7:21:40 GMT -5 sweetptater said:

That's not cool. If she can't deal with different personalities of kids, then she's in the wrong profession. I hate that this kid obviously has some issues and she's effectively given up on him and is unwilling to help. This is the time in his life when he needs MORE guidance, not less. My heart hurts for his poor mom.

This is exactly how I feel.

[shakinros]

Sept 14, 2017 7:34:50 GMT -5 akafred said:

Sept 14, 2017 7:21:40 GMT -5 sweetptater said:

That's not cool. If she can't deal with different personalities of kids, then she's in the wrong profession. I hate that this kid obviously has some issues and she's effectively given up on him and is unwilling to help. This is the time in his life when he needs MORE guidance, not less. My heart hurts for his poor mom.

This is exactly how I feel.

+1. I feel for this family. Even if the school is able to straighten out this intern, would you feel comfortable leaving your kid with this person?

[xctsclrx]

I would talk to the head of the school. I would say something along the lines of "just to let you know intern is talking to other parents about this situation. I don't think it is any of our business if you want to address it with her." Then maybe tell the mom what was said to you so she can bring it up to the school if she feel like it is necessary.

And no that intern needs to leave the childcare/school environment. Although as devils advocate here If she is really young I am thinking 20-23 based on the intern comment, and she doesn't have children this might be an ideal learning situation for her. Maybe the director can mentor her at this point and idk can you teach empathy?

There are some kids that are very difficult to deal with those kids usually have a reason why. Childcare is not for everyone.

[2chatter]

Is this a private school? That's very much the culture at many private schools here - the square peg round hole thing - but I would report the oversharing.

Four years later I still judge a teacher who told me she didn't like a little boy. I was friends with his mom, she didn't know that.

[erinshelley21]

I'd have a hard time not saying something. Who is she to dictate who is welcome at aftercare and who isn't if she's an intern or teacher even?

It does sound like inexperience might be getting the best of her in this situation. If it is inexperience then this will be a good lesson for her, but if she has been doing this for a while then hopefully this is a wake up call that she might not be in the right field.

[phdmomma]

I would go over her head. This doesn't seem right....

[judyblume14]

First, WTF that an intern TOLD the director that the child is no longer welcome in aftercare? What was the owner's response? If the owner was okay with that, I'm not sure I'd WANT my child in that aftercare...or in that school at all.

I think you should speak to the director. I wouldn't say anything to your friend until you're clear on the director/owner's position on this (though hopefully, the director will speak to your friend directly).

[akafred]

I've mentioned this to two people (DH and a different friend; I did not want to burden the one dealing with the situation yesterday, unless she wanted to talk about it). In both cases the first words they said were, "Does she even get to make that call?" And the thing is, I have faith in the main elementary teacher and the one who owns/runs the school to recognize that issue and address it. I really do. And they will be able to handle appropriately the issue of her not wanting to deal with the kid. Which really leaves me with her overstepping on what she shared with me that wasn't really appropriate, and IDK if that is enough to really say anything over. Hopefully I will get to speak to a "real person" this afternoon and can bring it up without having to make a stink outside of the class setting.

[sunbutter]

This echoes some experiences I have had at our school in the last year.

Absolutely go above the head of after care and voice these concerns. Immediately. She needs to be corrected so she can learn from this and it needs to go on record in case similar things occur in the future. Based on my recent experiences, I have zero tolerance for this bullshit.

[akafred]

Sept 14, 2017 8:15:53 GMT -5 2chatter said:

Is this a private school? That's very much the culture at many private schools here - the square peg round hole thing - but I would report the oversharing.

Four years later I still judge a teacher who told me she didn't like a little boy. I was friends with his mom, she didn't know that.

Yeah it is a private school and is unfortunately part of the culture of many private schools, but NOT this school. I am not qualified to run around diagnosing kids obviously, but based on what parents have told me about their kids and what I have observed, I would say probably half the kids in this elementary class have or could have some kind of diagnosis, whether it is ADHD or autism or anxiety or emotional stuff or learning disabilities. It is an AWESOME place for a kid like mine. This kiddo has continuing issues so maybe a change would be a good thing, or maybe not, IDK. But it wouldn't be unusual for a kid like him to be there, and I don't want that to change.

[mommyatty]

Sept 14, 2017 6:33:57 GMT -5 akafred said:

Just to clarify, the situation didn't happen in aftercare. So it isn't guilt. I do think it is "now I don't have to deal with the problem child anymore" though. Glee isn't the right word. But IDK the right word. Like a cousin of glee.

That's even worse. Chalk it up to immaturity, but sheesh.

[supertrooper1]

I agree with everyone else, go above her head. She is probably being evaluated as an intern or student teacher. This incident of being inappropriate needs to go on her evaluation. If no one knows, they can't address it.

[2chatter]

akafred - I was all for reporting the intern even if it aligned to culture - but now that it doesn't I would FOR SURE take it to the aftercare director!

[akafred]

I'm really glad you guys agree this was inappropriate. I will do my best to get to school in time to speak with the people who run the show. I don't really want to make a separate conversation by phone or email.

[dashook]

Others have already summed up most of my feelings but I didn't want to read and not comment. The whole situation sucks and I can imagine myself being both sad and a little worried in your shoes. I'm sorry this happened and I hope some kind of good resolution can come from it.

[akafred]

Sept 14, 2017 13:48:57 GMT -5 dashook said:

Others have already summed up most of my feelings but I didn't want to read and not comment. The whole situation sucks and I can imagine myself being both sad and a little worried in your shoes. I'm sorry this happened and I hope some kind of good resolution can come from it.

Yeah my "second worst kid at the school" may have just gotten a promotion. :/