Thursday Updates

[mommyatty]

What does everyone have? saraml13- have you officially taken the job? erinshelley21- Is your brother selling yet??

My minor updates: DD got her doll yesterday and she's in love. I think earning it made her really proud.

I took my sewing machine class yesterday and now I'm dying to leave early and sew. But, meetings until 5:00 today, so whomp whomp.

[erinshelley21]

So, we aren't exactly selling it but we found a very good compromise that I think will work out really well. At first I was not on board with him buying me out because it felt like I was putting a lot of pressure on him to run this whole thing by himself. The guy we met with last week is basically going to finance the buy out for my brother. They pay a ridiculous commission rate and they will take my payments out of what they owe my brother for a few years. DH asked me how this was different from him buying me out and I get that it really isn't, but I feel better about it. He has guidance and they have a staff of people that can help him. This is probably as good as it gets and I'm excited about it. I'm also excited that there might be an opportunity for me to work for the same agency as a processor. I'll get to do the part of my job that I like and with most of the freedom that I have now. I might actually get to have my cake and eat it too on this one!

With all that, for 2 days in a row DH has said he is on board with staying in our house lol. He's looking into barn plans and talking about the room addition more. He and I are going on an overnight trip tomorrow so I'm hoping that helps things get back to normal for us.

[2chatter]

DH may come home Friday super late and stay through Sunday afternoon - with 8 games and two parties this weekend it would be AMAZING to have his help! I'm crossing my fingers. He also punted a big meeting for next Wednesday because DD has a game 30 minutes away, has to be there 30 minutes early and he's usually still at work until after the game would be over. I'm hoping this is the start to him "getting it" and he is good with the kids while I have back to back trips.

[saraml13]

mommyatty, yep, I officially accepted the offer! I start Sept 25. I've been running around like crazy trying to finish up all the random house projects and errands on my to-do list.

It's going to be a big adjustment for our family. Other than a 1 week stretch in January, I've been at home (and the boys have mostly been going to daycare on a relaxed timeframe). Now all the sudden we will have to get everyone up and out of the house earlier. DH has also been majorly spoiled by me not working. He's having a rough week at work, so I haven't pushed the conversation yet, but we will need to redistribute household responsibilities.

We're also having the second car debate/fight right now. We've only ever had 1 car (a 2007 Civic with 130k miles on it) and DH takes the train a block from our house to work. DC isn't easy walking distance, so that leaves me to do all the drop offs and pick ups. I want to get a new or newish car and relegate the Civic to backup duty. DH thinks it's stupid to have 2 cars when one of them will sit in the garage 99% of the time and votes to wait until the Civic dies and then replace it.

[justcheckingin73]

So glad things are starting to fall into place erinshelley21!

Nothing huge going on in my life, but my DD is starting to confide in me a little more. She's so tight lipped and only seems to talk to her friends about things going on in her life but I've worked really hard to not let my emotion get to me when she talks about boys and other things that my Mom (and DH) would have completely balked at. I'm open, I ask questions, I'm interested. I want her to see that I'm not going to flip out. In the car on the way to the orthodontist, she told me a few things, including the fact that she likes a new boy but then later that day told me that he doesn't like her in that way I'm just glad she's letting me in.

On a spontaneous note, I just bought tickets for the 4 of us to see Luke Bryan on Saturday. My DD loves Luke and so do we so I'm really excited. They are only lawn seats but it's the kids first "real" concert so it's better than nothing. Those tickets were expensive as it was. Ouch.

[Covergirl82]

I've been off birth control about a month now, and I can totally tell I no longer have the intense sugar cravings I had while on the pill. Like, I can walk by a box of cookies multiple times throughout the day and not feel like I need to take one. I haven't had too much of a noticeable change in my weight, but I do feel like my pants are a little less tight.

[xctsclrx]

We officially took our house off the market yesterday and then promptly got a phone call asking about it. We are letting them come on Friday and then we are done.

I talked to my Team Leader about the title change that didn't happen. He said that it was a mistake. He went back and fixed it. Now I am officially a Logistics Analyst and salaried!!

DS is still struggling with potty training.

SS1 wants to go to Costa Rica this summer as a school trip... I don't have a lot of say in this, but if I did it wouldn't be happening. I don't like my 15 year old out of the country without his parents and kids between 15 and 18. However, his mom is on board with it and already told him he could go. DH is doing his research now. They still need him to sign the forms so he can get a passport. DH feels backed into a corner, because she already paid for it and told SS1 he could go before talking to DH.

[justcheckingin73]

Covergirl82 , that's really interesting. I went back on BCP pills last year because of really heavy periods and I didn't notice an increase in sugar cravings but I wonder if I'd notice after? I may actually ask my doctor about ablation because I hate being on anything but I DNW those heavy periods back. Sucks getting old

xctsclrx , I'm a step-parent too and it can be so hard to not have control over people who live in your house (even part-time). I hope it all works out and that it's a great opportunity/adventure for him. Aside from that situation, DSS' mom had such a double standard about everything. When we moved in together, we were engaged, planning a wedding, etc. yet she gave DH such a hard time about. A couple years later, when she moved in with her boyfriend, we found out from my SS. So frustrating (ETA - this was in regard to your comment about her not talking to your DH about the trip - I can so relate to that). I'm so glad that is past us now that DSS is 23.

[Covergirl82]

justcheckingin73, I wonder if it was the type I was on. (Or maybe my body's response to it. I remember my mom said when she was on it, her sugar cravings were also intense.) I happened to read the insert from the pharmacy the last time I filled it in August, and noticed it said, "DO NOT TAKE IF OVER 35 - POTENTIAL HARM TO YOUR HEART." So I stopped taking it right away. (I had turned 35 in June.) DH had a vasectomy last spring and was clear on his second check, so I don't need to take it anymore.

[HeartofCheese]

Still getting divorced. Since deciding to get divorced, however, we've actually managed to backslide on our progress towards divorce after having not made any progress in the first place. Only in my haphazard, flyin-by-the-seat-of-my-pants world...

In an effort to sum up the last few weeks: I am no longer willing to do 50/50 without him getting counseling. So he got an attorney (I'm still trying to find one who will not bankrupt me) and he refuses to move out until there is a separation agreement in place. I've told him that I am ok with 70/30 where I see the kids everyday and they spend every night but Saturday at my place. I've also told him that I would also do counseling to kind of "camouflage" the reason that I want him to do counseling which I think he might be considering.

But the bottomline is that I want 3 things: to see my kids everyday, for them to have a good relationship with their father, and - a moderately distant third - to keep the house. So far none of those things seems to be realistic.

[traveltheworld]

Silly update - but I finally finished unpacking the boxes in our master bedroom from the move!! There were a lot of random socks, underwear, etc. so I've been dragging my heels, but it feels good to have it done. We also received our fancy espresso maker and finally had our piano tuned. I'm starting to feel more "settled" into the new house.

[rere]

2 small updates.

1. I currently have a step up from the garage! No more flying leaps out the door in the morning. Trim is up and Dh hung the last picture yesterday. We are done. Now for the final bill which scares me since I went over budget on nice garage doors.

2. Ds's first home game is today! We finally get to see him play after 5,677,789 practices!

[justcheckingin73]

Sept 14, 2017 11:16:41 GMT -5 Covergirl82 said:

justcheckingin73 , I wonder if it was the type I was on. (Or maybe my body's response to it. I remember my mom said when she was on it, her sugar cravings were also intense.) I happened to read the insert from the pharmacy the last time I filled it in August, and noticed it said, "DO NOT TAKE IF OVER 35 - POTENTIAL HARM TO YOUR HEART." So I stopped taking it right away. (I had turned 35 in June.) DH had a vasectomy last spring and was clear on his second check, so I don't need to take it anymore.

I've read differing opinions on women over 40 on BCP but when I broached the subject with my doctor, she didn't seem concerned so maybe the type makes a difference.

[katrine05]

saraml13 DH is getting a huge reality check with me going back to work after 11 months off. I took on a lot while I was home (as in pretty much everything). No more puttering around in the garage for hours at night or hour long after work poops and showers. Hope the transition goes well for all of you!

We're finally almost done with the renos to our rental and have a showing set up for Saturday. Hoping it rents out quickly. Don't want to carry two mortgages for another month.

DS is doing amazing at daycare. My DCP said she thinks he's almost better than DD was at that age, and she was a really good baby. He's got her wrapped around his finger.

[mae0111]

justcheckingin73, I had a ablation a couple of years ago. OMG. Life changing. Seriously. I remember hiding in the house on a 95 degree day while DH and the kids swam, because I COULD NOT go in the water. Extra pants at work. That kind of thing. I had really good results - my very light period is a day long, with spotting for 2-3 more. Sometimes the spotting lasts longer, but still 100% better.

My updates: DH's business is off to a tremendous start. He billed 25% more than expected in his first month, and has since been brought into 3 small jobs and one huge one. It's still manageable for him, and now that the kids are in school, I'll start to take over what I can (paperwork for state licensures, billing, etc.). I'm also starting to reach out to contacts to see if I can pick up some small consulting gigs, and trolling upwork. I also joined a gym - haven't been able to go to one for the past 6 years due to schedules.

My old company - I've had countless people reach out asking for references, help, or just to vent. The company is literally driving people to seek counseling. People are crying at their desks. And my good friend, the lynchpin of my old department, just resigned. When she told the director of the division, he told her that he had written his own letter of resignation, and is wavering on whether or not to deliver it. He's an EVP. So it's even bad that high up.

[xctsclrx]

justcheckingin73,I can't wait for those days. I love my step kids, but I hate dealing with their mother and I am not even the one dealing with her. The double standard is insane. We have the same issues here.

HeartofCheese, Have you tried proposing a step program for your DH. Right now you get them at X times. Once you complete and step 1 then you get kids y times. continue until you reach a final agreement. Not sure if either one of you would be up for that, but it might work.

[erinshelley21]

HeartofCheese, I'm sorry that things are starting to get complicated!

[phdmomma]

Things are alright here, with respect to updates:
1. I am loving that DS is in an early start school, I drop off DD and get to work way earlier than I used to
2. Tonight we have DS's parent teacher conference at the school he just started
3. Went to my first PTO meeting this week, the principals from both school were there (we cluster with another school), and seems like the school really has its stuff together, which is nice. Although some of those PTA parents are intense.....like super intense

[sudokufan]

So, my H actually made a dr appointment to get evaluated after losing his keys (and marbles) this week. I'll push him to get a blood panel done and also talk about possible depression. He must be worried, it takes a lot for him to make an appt.


On the speech therapy front - we continued on with the same therapist because we found out that 1. the clinic will give us a 40% discount for paying ourselves, 2. the clinic would only have done another 6-7 sessions anyhow before making us take a break (they like to give other kids on the waiting list a chance to get in, and give kids a break to mature on their own). So 10/3 we'll be done until next year, and he's made amazing progress.

[k3am]

DD is doing great. Her biggest issue is letting me wash her hair. Initial pathology is that the tumor is the same kind of mixed glioma she had the first round. So great results, but holding out caution that it could come back again. We're waiting for them to decide if we're doing 3 month MRIs or 6 month frequencies.

We all head back to school/work on Monday.

[librarychica]

We are getting back to normal here. Schools still closed but my kids are back in because they're in daycare/private and have reopened. Woo! Back to work. Now for the post-storm insurance claims.

I don't think I am going to rebook my IUD removal appointment. It was canceled for bizarre circumstances twice. It feels like the universe is telling me something, lol.

I am going to go back to work full time for a bit. I went part time in May but one of our key staff is transferring. Hopefully it should be 3 months, max. I negotiated a lot of flexibility with my boss.

Oh! And I'm coleading a girlscout troop. I may finally need a Pinterest account.

[waverly]

I left the PT eval more confused then I went in. But we are doing PT weekly for at least 2 months.

OT is possible if sequencing is an issue but how do I know if sequencing is the issue?

[xctsclrx]

DS was dry all day at daycare came home and then had an accident. I got upset with him and then he went to the potty and peed and then went and pooped. No prompting!!!

[akafred]

Sept 14, 2017 17:48:48 GMT -5 waverly said:

I left the PT eval more confused then I went in. But we are doing PT weekly for at least 2 months.

OT is possible if sequencing is an issue but how do I know if sequencing is the issue?

Ask the PT or an OT?

[waverly]

PT just said that to warn me she might hand him off to OT instead of treating him BEFORE her evaluation. Which was premature I think. She also didn't like what my doctor wrote on the order. She is probably right but I don't care because he NEEDS PT so give it to him! Who cares that what he wrote is a structural thing and not a PT thing, although I appreciate the explanation it didn't have to go on forever.

So I guess I have to wait until PT is over to see if it was a strength issue or sequencing issue??

But I can ask her again. I don't have an order for OT and am not currently seeing one, so I can't ask them at the moment.

It was a bit of a battle but hopefully we are on the same page- me and the PT now but definitely a rough start. During the eval she finally saw what I was trying to tell her.

[campermom]

Sept 14, 2017 12:01:19 GMT -5 katrine05 said:

saraml13 DH is getting a huge reality check with me going back to work after 11 months off. I took on a lot while I was home (as in pretty much everything). No more puttering around in the garage for hours at night or hour long after work poops and showers. Hope the transition goes well for all of you!

No more hour long after work poops!!! Hahahaha this has me laughing and nodding!

[campermom]

I hope you can find a good attorney Rainbow Pie. Hugs.

[freezorburn]

HeartofCheese,

I'm sorry for the feeling of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't have firsthand experience with this, but perhaps you could get temporary orders in place so that you can at least begin to move forward with the living situation and custody, and then you can work on the harder stuff on the way to final documents.

Some basic stuff:

www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/temporary-orders-family-court-29642.html

[judyblume14]

I'm a few weeks into having a new manager. I was worried that he didn't seem like a good fit for me because he has no idea what I do or why I do it.

I'm starting to change my mind. He seems very interested in learning about the analysis and reporting I've developed, and has been pushing examples of my work out to his peer, and up to his manager. He even added my to the agenda of his staff meeting yesterday to walk my new team through some of it. So, that felt good.