Tips on developing mental toughness

[marissap]

Hi gues- I am running my first full in 4 weeks. I've done several halfs with carrying success (some not at all). Every long run, I basically give up 3 miles before the finish. 16 mile run? I walk at 13. 19 miles? I make it 16 awesome then crap out. Today's 13 I was done at 10.
I know it's mental but I just can't get myself there. In the race I know once I see walkers I convince myself it's no big deal if I walk (and I know it really is no big deal, there's just not a reason for me to at that moment). Anyone have success with anything in particular?
I've tried telling myself my goal is more than I actually need but I see through my own lies lol
Part of me is thinking if I actually make it 23 I should be happy and move on but I'd like to conquer this.
Also note worthy I am pretty slow so it's a LONG time being outside for long runs....

[al320]

Towards the end of a marathon, i remind myself that the faster i run, the faster ill be done and can stop running and have something to eat and a cold drink and ice cream. That helps.

Also, try to break the wall and get yourself through those last miles, take one mile at a time.

Good luck! Youve trained, you CAN do it.

[labbie]

Have you considered using a set run/walk strategy right from the start? I found using a 10min run/1 min walk right from the beginning makes it easier in the later miles to keep moving "Only" for x more minutes and then I get to walk a bit. I get defeated if I let myself focus on how many miles I have left to go. The wall(s) will be there but if you can push through it really does get better on the other side, good luck!

[cinco]

Sept 17, 2017 14:19:18 GMT -5 al320 said:

Towards the end of a marathon, i remind myself that the faster i run, the faster ill be done and can stop running and have something to eat and a cold drink and ice cream. That helps.

Also, try to break the wall and get yourself through those last miles, take one mile at a time.

Good luck! Youve trained, you CAN do it.

I used "the faster you run, the faster you're done" with my 5 yo today my favorite is "this is not about instant gratification. You have to work hard for it, sweat for it, and give up sleeping in on Sunday mornings." When I think about how much training I put in, the fuck if I'm gonna start slacking during the race (earned, not given is a good shortened version of that)

[sadlebred]

Go read this book. It will help. It focuses more on cycling and triathlon (written by a triathlete and her husband), but it can apply to any sport.

www.amazon.com/Brave-Athlete-Calm-Down-Occasion/dp/1937715736/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505690514&sr=8-1&keywords=the+brave+athlete+calm+the+fck+down

[Deleted]

Tell yourself you need to run 29.2 miles on race day? ;)

In all seriousness, I lack the mental toughness as well. I've run farther this year than ever before, I think what helps is telling myself I am 1/4 the way there, 1/2 the way there, etc. I'm only training for a half though. I like the Mapmyrun app telling me every 1/2 mile how far and how fast I have ran. A good soundtrack always motivates me too. :)

[Deleted]

I tell myself that it will hurt more if I walk and (just like al320,) I'll be done quicker if I keep running. That said, if I am feeling utter crap and in discomfort, that I slow it down to a jog so as not to cause injury. Sharp pain is the only thing that makes me walk.

[chw57]

The biggest thing that helped me with this was reading the book "How Bad Do You Want It?" By Matt Fitzgerald.

Learning to start really embracing the pain and settling into it led me to 2 marathon PRs, a 50K PR, and the finish line of my first 50 miler.

[hurricanedrunk]

It's crazy how the mind is another muscles to "train" for a long race.

Do you have friends to run with? This always helps keep me honest.

Other things that help me are mantra's (faster you go, the sooner you finish, you are strong, you are fierce, you got this), music, or focusing on a food/drink/experience reward for once I finish. Ex I am going to eat all bacon once I finish these miles.

[sassystace]

I agree you have to know it's gonna hurt and know what you're going to tell yourself (a mantra might help, once I told myself I had "gas in the tank" for last mile or so) at that point to keep you going. Some of it is just experience in pushing through on a day when you want to quit and don't. Granted, there are going to days when things aren't all lined up in your favor (heat, dehydration, tough course, poor training, injury, etc.) where you are going to need to reassess your goal but you have to have confidence to know when you can push a little more than voice in your head that tells you to stop.

[Deleted]

I also agree with setting your expectations that it is going to hurt/ache. I sometimes tell myself that if this was easy, everyone would do it.

[gt7301b]

When I get to 3 miles left in a long run I tell myself, "5K left, you've run hundreds of 5ks, you can do this." Instead of feeling defeated I know I can go 3 more miles. And like others have said, it really does hurt just as much to walk, so why not keep running!

chw57 - I just ordered that book, thanks for the recommendation.

[mrs.jacinthe]

I used to have that trouble too, and I found that it was because I was letting myself get into negative head space. Find your positive place - your why. Why do you run? Why do you want to do the marathon? Why this race? Why do you want to *not* walk? Once you have your why, then make your mantra around that. Last year I trained in some uncomfortable conditions and my mantra was "adversity can kiss my ass". I was swimming with something to prove - that I could overcome 2015, the worst year of my life.

Now, I use the mantra "swim happy" and sing songs to myself in my head when things get rough.

The right headspace makes a huge difference.

[labbie]

Sept 18, 2017 8:51:51 GMT -5 chw57 said:

The biggest thing that helped me with this was reading the book "How Bad Do You Want It?" By Matt Fitzgerald.

Learning to start really embracing the pain and settling into it led me to 2 marathon PRs, a 50K PR, and the finish line of my first 50 miler.

I'm reading this now- it's great!

[labbie]

Sept 18, 2017 10:51:33 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

I used to have that trouble too, and I found that it was because I was letting myself get into negative head space. Find your positive place - your why. Why do you run? Why do you want to do the marathon? Why this race? Why do you want to *not* walk? Once you have your why, then make your mantra around that. Last year I trained in some uncomfortable conditions and my mantra was "adversity can kiss my ass". I was swimming with something to prove - that I could overcome 2015, the worst year of my life.

Now, I use the mantra "swim happy" and sing songs to myself in my head when things get rough.

The right headspace makes a huge difference.

totally borrowing this one!

[SallyJ]

I fall back on what my swim coach in high school used to tell us: Dig just a little bit deeper. When you are tired, when it hurts, when you feel like you cannot go for one more second, the difference between you and everyone else is that you dig down deep and find that little bit of extra to keep you going. It's there, but you have to find it because you want it that much.

I have to say that for running, I never found that persistence until I did ballet. When I am performing on stage, there simply isn't an option to quit or stop. I have to push through the exhaustion, the pain, the frustration. And now I can do that for pretty much any other activity. Is there something else in your life you can 'practice' the skill of resilience and persistence?

[taratru]

The only way I gained any kind of toughness was by *not* doing what you're doing.  So many workouts I wanted to bail, so many days that I could have just quit early.  But I didn't.  Because that way, when things got hard, I could fall back on the fact that when things get hard, I don't give up.

I mean, I hate to sound like a jerk, but either you want to do it enough, or you don't. And the only way to flex your mental muscle is to do the tasks. You can't not do things and then suddenly one day a mantra works.  Like this guy says.    

[lilypad1126]

For the longest time, my mental state was "I hate running." Literally, people would find out that I was a runner and ask me about it and I'd tell them that I hate running, and that I'm not a real runner b/c I only ran 5ks. One day, my H, who is also a runner, decided to up his distance and ran a 10k. And I thought, huh, if he can do it, I bet I can. So I did. And then I decided to train for my first half marathon. And after that, when I was contemplating signing up for a second half, I realized I DON'T hate running.

I still maintain that I hate training (LOL), but I love running races. For me, it's a total mental thing. Now that I've run a couple marathons, I'm all, oh, today calls for a 12 mile run, cool, I've got this. And as I'm getting close to the end, I use the same trick a PP mentioned: 3 miles to go? That's only a 5k, I can certainly finish a 5k. Oh, 2 miles left? that's less than ____ minutes at this pace, I can do anything for that many minutes. 1 mile left? In exactly 1 mile, which is _____ minutes at this pace, I can be IN MY CAR IN THE AC!!

And then on my drive home I fantasize about what I'm going to convince my H to eat with me for lunch. Or I stop for ice cream at my favorite ice cream place, b/c hey, I did that thing I didn't think I wanted to do, so I deserve it. Someone above said it's about finding your why. My initial why was that I couldn't let my husband be better than me. Some days that's still my why (I can't let him be better than me ) Some days my why is that I want ice cream. But knowing WHY I'm doing it, helps get me in a good mental space.

[campermom]

I struggle with this too. These books Recs are great, they have Brave Athlete at my library and I just ordered it.

Thank you!

[marissap]

Thank you guys for all the advice and just as important, done tough love. I'm going to check out the books recommended. I have a long weekend of ansoccer tournament ahead of me so will have plenty of read time!!

[mrshandy]

I don't walk during runs. But that's me. I may go really slow or stop if I need to work out a cramp. But for fatigue, I very, very rarely walk. I decided this rule for myself years ago when I first started really adding distance to my runs. I'm a rule follower by nature so this works for me.

Like taratru, you do have to train yourself out of this, by just keeping going when you really don't want to. If you're so tired you need to walk, you might try running slower.

Nowadays, the guilt of not completing my workout usually keeps me going. I know that I will be beating myself up if I don't stick to my training. Probably not the best strategy, but it works. I do listen to my body and don't try to push through legit injury.

[secretlyevil]

Zone out...listen to an audio book, create a really good playlist, talk to your buddies, turn off the notifications on your watch and just go.

[moreace01]

Agree with everything above.

For me, when things start really going south, I just have to get my mind off it. I can't think about how much farther I have to go or how much longer I have to do something. Last year I was having panic attacks in the water before my first triathlon. Someone on this board mentioned singing songs or playing games with yourself. I do this ALL THE TIME now when things start getting rough - I play the alphabet game first with fruits, then veggies, then cities, countries, whatever. It keeps my mind preoccupied on something other than what I'm doing.

[libbygrl109]

I agree with everyone else, too. I am a slow runner, so I get being out there a really long time. It's was all a matter of telling myself that I would finish what I started. It is going to hurt, and suck hard, but it would be a really long way to the finish line (or car) if I didn't finish my run. I would spend the hard times trying to trick myself into running (keep going to the next tree, next water stop, etc), and just let my mind wander to other things - what I'm going to eat for dinner that night, what I have coming up at work the following week, and so on.

[campermom]

I just want to say I found this thread to be really helpful and all I thought about all of it on my run today.

Thank you-all of you! I didn't realize I needed this. Got The Brave Athlete on hold now and can't wait to read it.

[ellebebold]

Try putting a greater amount in your mind than what the actually race is. Tell yourself that you will be in more pain if you walk!