Parenting help

[Bernadine]

Every once in a while, when we have to wake up dd (15 months), she just totally loses her shit as soon as she opens her eyes. Crying hysterically, can't calm her down.

Yesterday, I pick her up from my aunt.  She was fine then.  She falls asleep on the 40 minute ride home. Wakes up when I get her out of her car seat. She started screaming and crying so hard, she couldn't catch her breath. We offered her milk, food, pacifier, toys, turned on Moana, music. Nothing could calm her down.  We finally got some Tylenol in her, because I didn't know wtf else to do, and then we got her to eat some ice cream about 10 minutes after that (we were desperate). A few minutes later, she asked for milk, and then she was totally fine.  The screaming lasted for like 40 minutes.  She has cried like that before when woken, but not for that length of time.

Any idea what this could be?

[themysteriouswife]

It's typical baby being forced to wake-up. Have you heard the saying "never wake a sleeping baby?"

I can 100% relate. Myles is a beast when he gets woke up. He will be in a bad mood the rest of the day. He cries off and on all day.

[ssmjlm]

Is it more naps or all sleep?

In the mornings I find a 5 minute head start helps. So I go in, turn off her sound machine, say good morning, and then leave. Then go back in once she's woken a bit to get her up.

[themysteriouswife]

Sept 28, 2017 9:50:06 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Is it more naps or all sleep?

In the mornings I find a 5 minute head start helps. So I go in, turn off her sound machine, say good morning, and then leave. Then go back in once she's woken a bit to get her up.

We do something similar that helps. We talk loudly outside his door and try to get him to wake on his own

[Leeham Rimes]

Wes used to do that as a toddler. He outgrew it but it took a while.

[themysteriouswife]

Oh and in the car (when possible) I will park and wait a few min. He will either wake up on his own or realize we've stopped moving.

[specialk]

DS is like that when he gets woken up, especially lately. He's nearly 3. I try to let him wake gradually if I can, by just making noise around him or opening the shades. Then I bribe him with a chocolate covered granola bar and that has been helping to snap him out of it. I tell him it's a chocolate bar, and lately he's been having one every day that I have to get him up for daycare. #MOTY

[daisyfay25]

My 2.5 year old sometimes does the same thing, and started around when he was 18 months. I just hold him and walk around telling him everything is ok. I also offer popsicles or food he doesn't normally get, so... do what works lol. It usually just takes time for him.

[Que?]

My kid hates being woken up and always has.
Next time, maybe just hold her and let her cry. It's possible that offering so many distractions in such a short amount of time was over stimulating. It maybe also part of the end of day angst that all kids struggle with. Later, this will manifest into after school tantrums, incessant whining about snacks and questioning yourself about whether you're allowing too much screen time to avoid the meltdown.

[noodleoo]

DD went through something similar at the same age. And it wasn't even when we forced her to wake up, sometimes it would just be when she woke up from naps or at night. It was awful, she'd scream for long periods and nothing I could do would calm her down. The only thing that worked was putting on Sesame Street on the TV. I even asked my pedi about it and she had no advice. It wasn't night terrors since she was definitely awake.

Anyway, it was a phase and she outgrew it after a few weeks (maybe months? I can't remember).  It was definitely around 12-18 months.  It SUCKED. Hugs.

[05heel]

Sept 28, 2017 10:29:38 GMT -5 Que? said:

My kid hates being woken up and always has.
Next time, maybe just hold her and let her cry. It's possible that offering so many distractions in such a short amount of time was over stimulating. It maybe also part of the end of day angst that all kids struggle with. Later, this will manifest into after school tantrums, incessant whining about snacks and questioning yourself about whether you're allowing too much screen time to avoid the meltdown.

the snacking is going to be the death of me. And she only harasses me about it! She could be enjoying a 10-course feast with her dad, but if I were to walk into the room she would suddenly be starving and in need of a cheese stick.

[Que?]

Sept 28, 2017 10:36:12 GMT -5 05heel said:

Sept 28, 2017 10:29:38 GMT -5 Que? said:

My kid hates being woken up and always has.
Next time, maybe just hold her and let her cry. It's possible that offering so many distractions in such a short amount of time was over stimulating. It maybe also part of the end of day angst that all kids struggle with. Later, this will manifest into after school tantrums, incessant whining about snacks and questioning yourself about whether you're allowing too much screen time to avoid the meltdown.

the snacking is going to be the death of me. And she only harasses me about it! She could be enjoying a 10-course feast with her dad, but if I were to walk into the room she would suddenly be starving and in need of a cheese stick.

I also feel like I'm being subtly grocery shamed, like she's all 'I'm starving and there's NOTHING!!!' and I'm all 'dude, I just spent like 14K on snacks, WTF?'
Sometimes she'll even throw in a dig like 'Grace alllllwayyyys has muffins and cookies that her mom made that day' and then I'm all 'really? Maybe she could make some for us someday, and I could swing by and grab them AFTER WORK'.

[Bernadine]

Ok, it sucks, but I'm glad to hear this is normal.

H was ready to take her to the ER.

[Bernadine]

Sept 28, 2017 9:50:06 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Is it more naps or all sleep?

In the mornings I find a 5 minute head start helps. So I go in, turn off her sound machine, say good morning, and then leave. Then go back in once she's woken a bit to get her up.

Luckily, just naps, she's usually fine in the morning.

[ssmjlm]

Sept 28, 2017 10:51:15 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Sept 28, 2017 9:50:06 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Is it more naps or all sleep?

In the mornings I find a 5 minute head start helps. So I go in, turn off her sound machine, say good morning, and then leave. Then go back in once she's woken a bit to get her up.

Luckily, just naps, she's usually fine in the morning.

Then I'll just say Godspeed.  If my kid ends up falling asleep during the day she's a bear to wake up (car usually isn't as bad as say the couch).  Usually one of us end up just holding her because she throws a fit.

[cville]

Sept 28, 2017 10:43:24 GMT -5 Que? said:

Sept 28, 2017 10:36:12 GMT -5 05heel said:

the snacking is going to be the death of me. And she only harasses me about it! She could be enjoying a 10-course feast with her dad, but if I were to walk into the room she would suddenly be starving and in need of a cheese stick.

I also feel like I'm being subtly grocery shamed, like she's all 'I'm starving and there's NOTHING!!!' and I'm all 'dude, I just spent like 14K on snacks, WTF?'
Sometimes she'll even throw in a dig like 'Grace alllllwayyyys has muffins and cookies that her mom made that day' and then I'm all 'really? Maybe she could make some for us someday, and I could swing by and grab them AFTER WORK'.

YESSSSSSS.  I give choices like APPLE OR CHEESE STICK THAT'S IT LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE because it's a litany of but Maddie has X and Evan gets Y and Natalie has Z and XYZ are either things I don't buy or handmade loving things I don't fucking handmake lovingly.  Sorry, kids, but Natalie's mom is better at snacks than me and I just don't care.

I now say, and understand why my mom said, "I'm not their mother, I'm your mother and this is my house."

[cville]

Also, shoutout to Pollyo, inventor of cheese sticks. Without you, I am nothing.


p.s. Bernadine, my son is a jerkface after naps sometimes, too. Now that he has more words he uses his skills to harangue me instead of just screaming (he screams on occasion, too).

[usuallylurking]

My almost-4 year old is still this way. He's fine in the mornings, but when we have to wake him from a car nap or he falls asleep on the couch? Oh man. Scary times ahead. Lol. Sometimes H is like "why'd you let him sleep? Bed is in an hour!" and I say "Do you want to wake him up?" Lol. He then agrees with the sleep.

[lilac05]

Sept 28, 2017 11:55:47 GMT -5 luckydog said:

This reminds me of the Parenthood episode where Dax's wife is standing by her car at home because the baby is sleeping. That particular scene really stuck with me lol.

My neighbor (who I had only met a few times before) once shoveled our entire driveway after a big snow because her kid was asleep in the car and she refused to wake him up!  That was before kids, so I thought it was extremely kind, but a little weird.  As a mom, I now know that she was just really smart and there was an amount of selfishness in that, too!  LOL!  

I agree with waking up slowly, if you can.  Then just offer hugs and some quiet and see if that helps.  If you're waking her because you let her sleep until the last second and now you need to leave NOW, so you're offering 20 different things just to make it stop (not judging...totally been there, done that!), it could continuing to be agitating.  Wake her up a few minutes earlier so you can just sit somewhere with her and let her wake up more slowly.  Try to stay quiet, move slower, etc.  It's hard to know what to do timing-wise because you always hope they'll just wake on their own.

Good luck.  It's definitely a phase.  I've heard it more or less repeats itself when they're teenagers, but at least then you can just walk away and let them figure it out!