Respite and ABA

[chickypoo]

Ok so we were approved for respite care back in March. They had trouble finding anyone and a new girl just started this week.
Now we are about to start in home ABA next week and I'm not sure what to do. ABA requires someone 18 or over in the home and it would be nice to be able to leave the respite girl there and go get stuff done, but I don't think the one day we've had with her is enough to do that. But if she's there during ABA she won't be learning anything so I'm not sure how keeping her will work.
I did ask for someone on Thursdays so I can at least pick my other son up from preschool, but this girl can't do Thursdays. So she's on Mondays. But if they do find a girl for Thursdays I'm not even sure how that girl would get to know how to care for Oliver, because again, he'll be doing ABA. And it's every day except for one, but that day has other therapies.
I keep thinking I should just get rid of respite and be glad I can get stuff done around the house while he's getting 1 on 1 attention. But there is literally no one in the world that knows how to care for him, which sucks a lot. And sometimes I have to leave my house to get stuff done during the day too.

So anyone have any experience with this? I don't know what to do.

[freezorburn]

My thoughts are kind of all over the place because I'm coming out of a feverish state ...

It sounds like you're just starting a bunch of new things all at once and it's just not clear how they will all fit together.

How many hours of each service overlap?

Do you know yet whether the ABA therapist is planning to work with O just 1-on-1, or will they also want to involve you and other family members at times, so that you can reinforce and support the therapy goals in your daily life?

What will you be doing during ABA? Would that be a time (initially) when you can spend time getting the respite carer up to speed without having to multi-task?

I guess what I'm thinking is, that when someone comes to help, I know that for myself I often have difficulty conveying what it is that I need. So much has become automatic to me, that it feels unnatural to let go and delegate. So, I've noticed that in some situations, there are helpers who are very good at identifying tasks that need to be done and can easily be taken off my hands. For example, when my sister visited, I didn't need to ask her to walk the dog or change a diaper; she just saw when something needed to be done and she did it. Other helpers, like my mom, seem to need for me to provide a lot of structure in advance .... otherwise for some reason she seems to need me to as for permission about every little thing. So, there's this dynamic between what's my own sense of what I need and my communication style, vs. how pro-active my helper is. So there's that. And, then I've found that with services anytime we are starting a new schedule I go through an initial period of anxiety while I worry if it's all going to come together smoothly or end in disaster. So, there's that too.

Back to your situation ... at the very least, the ABA therapist will need to be aware of when O needs breaks ... to eat, to clean up, or whatever. And there also may be intervals when the therapist takes a break to make some notes or for their own personal breaks. You, or the respite carer, will need to be on hand for those times. You're essentially bringing in two people at once, and you're all going to have to figure out each other. Maybe after a week or two it will become a bit more clear to you how it will all fit together.

[chickypoo]

Oct 12, 2017 0:00:36 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

My thoughts are kind of all over the place because I'm coming out of a feverish state ...

It sounds like you're just starting a bunch of new things all at once and it's just not clear how they will all fit together.

How many hours of each service overlap?

Do you know yet whether the ABA therapist is planning to work with O just 1-on-1, or will they also want to involve you and other family members at times, so that you can reinforce and support the therapy goals in your daily life?

What will you be doing during ABA? Would that be a time (initially) when you can spend time getting the respite carer up to speed without having to multi-task?

I guess what I'm thinking is, that when someone comes to help, I know that for myself I often have difficulty conveying what it is that I need. So much has become automatic to me, that it feels unnatural to let go and delegate. So, I've noticed that in some situations, there are helpers who are very good at identifying tasks that need to be done and can easily be taken off my hands. For example, when my sister visited, I didn't need to ask her to walk the dog or change a diaper; she just saw when something needed to be done and she did it. Other helpers, like my mom, seem to need for me to provide a lot of structure in advance .... otherwise for some reason she seems to need me to as for permission about every little thing. So, there's this dynamic between what's my own sense of what I need and my communication style, vs. how pro-active my helper is. So there's that. And, then I've found that with services anytime we are starting a new schedule I go through an initial period of anxiety while I worry if it's all going to come together smoothly or end in disaster. So, there's that too.

Back to your situation ... at the very least, the ABA therapist will need to be aware of when O needs breaks ... to eat, to clean up, or whatever. And there also may be intervals when the therapist takes a break to make some notes or for their own personal breaks. You, or the respite carer, will need to be on hand for those times. You're essentially bringing in two people at once, and you're all going to have to figure out each other. Maybe after a week or two it will become a bit more clear to you how it will all fit together.

The ABA is supposed to be 4 hours a day, 9-1 most days I believe. It's 1 on 1 and I don't need to be an active participant. There will be teaching but it sounded like that will be done by the BCBA when she comes. I guess I'm still a bit foggy on the details.

The respite I have coming from 10-2 one day a week but I was thinking I'll go back to 10-1. But she is there to care for O, not help me around the house. So she would just be sitting there until she is needed. So there's really not much to tell. I can show her how to do his feeds again but that's about it. Otherwise he just needs to be watched/played with.

[auntie]

Sometimes, when you're in the moment, it can be hard to know what help would be useful and how to ask for that.

It might have made sense to get used to ABA before adding another layer of services to manage and oversee. But you do want to jump on respite asap.

Depending on your ABA provider and the sorts of things you are working on, she may be demonstrating strategies for you to use when she isn't there and you may have little time to yourself at first. Perhaps you could have a second respite day while the provider learns the ropes. Or maybe you try to shift the hours to the evening and take your break with other adults.

[chickypoo]

Oct 12, 2017 6:06:21 GMT -5 auntie said:

Sometimes, when you're in the moment, it can be hard to know what help would be useful and how to ask for that.

It might have made sense to get used to ABA before adding another layer of services to manage and oversee. But you do want to jump on respite asap.

Depending on your ABA provider and the sorts of things you are working on, she may be demonstrating strategies for you to use when she isn't there and you may have little time to yourself at first. Perhaps you could have a second respite day while the provider learns the ropes. Or maybe you try to shift the hours to the evening and take your break with other adults.

Yeah respite has been pretty sucky with finding us a caregiver. This should have been in place months ago.
Then ABA was supposed to start last month but there was a problem finding a line therapist.

[waverly]

No experience but it sounds like if you have her there enough weeks you will eventually be able to leave the house which would be my respite goal. Well that and naps lol. But if I stay home then I would be cleaning the house or involved in the ABA which isn't much of a mental break. I think just give it some time and see how it plays out, but I would keep her for now until you can get better hours, but the better hours sound hard to get, so take what you can get maybe.