Help me mom date!

[twinmomma]

Was at a birthday party chatting with moms from school. They mentioned something about their plans to all go out tonight, ad because I was standing there, they extended the invite to me. It was kind of the polite invite since I was standing there.
Later on as we were all leaving one of them offered again and confirmed the time and location with me. So that's more than a polite invite right?
DH thinks I should go since we are desperate for parent friends and these folks are actually people we'd get along with. He told me it's my in. Haha

[sandandsea]

Go! I think it's a great opportunity!

[erinshelley21]

Yes go! They wouldn't have made sure you knew the plans the second time of they really didn't want you to go.

[twinmomma]

Ok, thank you! I hate this stuff and needed a reality check. I can be a great socializer in the moment, but am really an anxious introvert.

[rere]

I am in the go anytime I am invited mode. Any opportunities to make new friends I would take.

[shakinros]

Definitely go. I hope it's fun!

[erinshelley21]

Oct 14, 2017 16:33:21 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Ok, thank you! I hate this stuff and needed a reality check. I can be a great socializer in the moment, but am really an anxious introvert.

Same. I can give out logical advice all day long on socializing but when it comes to me actually doing the socializing I'm a mess.

[sunbutter]

I hope you went! Keeping adults friends for me is an effort but I do have a couple of good friend that I made through the kids school. I don't necessarily often socialize with them outside of the house but we have texting relationships and are sounding boards for kid related things. One is also a sounding board for work related things as she and I are in related fields and I respect her perspective a great deal.

[callmekd]

Definitely go!!

[akafred]

Did you go?

[twinmomma]

I went! And I'm really glad I did. It ended up being a much bigger group than just the couple of birthday party moms, so it wasn't like I was crashing their night at all. We had a whole table full of moms at a hibachi restaurant and are already talking about planning a regular thing every month or two!

[twinmomma]

Only awkward point - they totally called me out on how much younger I am. For some reason, all the moms of kindergarteners are like, 10+ years older than me. I'm 31, so not super young at all. But apparently moms around here wait a long time to have kids?

[supertrooper1]

Oct 15, 2017 9:25:27 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Only awkward point - they totally called me out on how much younger I am. For some reason, all the moms of kindergarteners are like, 10+ years older than me. I'm 31, so not super young at all. But apparently moms around here wait a long time to have kids?

At open house, DH had a couple tell him they were old parents. They had a 3rd grader and they were both 31.  He then told them he was 49 with a 4 year old...LOL.

[sunbutter]

Oct 15, 2017 9:25:27 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Only awkward point - they totally called me out on how much younger I am. For some reason, all the moms of kindergarteners are like, 10+ years older than me. I'm 31, so not super young at all. But apparently moms around here wait a long time to have kids?

Or they have older kids too. Our kindergarten parents range between 35ish to 50ish.
And yes, I know it doesn't feel like it but when you are 40, 31 will feel super young, lol.

[twinmomma]

Oct 15, 2017 10:31:24 GMT -5 sunbutter said:

Oct 15, 2017 9:25:27 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Only awkward point - they totally called me out on how much younger I am. For some reason, all the moms of kindergarteners are like, 10+ years older than me. I'm 31, so not super young at all. But apparently moms around here wait a long time to have kids?

Or they have older kids too. Our kindergarten parents range between 35ish to 50ish.
And yes, I know it doesn't feel like it but when you are 40, 31 will feel super young, lol.

Oddly enough, most have younger toddlers, not older kids!

[phdmomma]

twinmomma, Same here, DS just started kindergarten this year, and I am turning 31 tomorrow. All of the other parents in his class are way older than I am, which is weird. Or at least the other moms that I've met. He is my oldest, so I don't know, maybe the ones in his class are younger siblings?

[xctsclrx]

twinmomma, So glad you had fun. I can't wait to use my DS to make friends. lol. I'll be almost 31 when my DS starts kindergarten and most of my peer group don't have kids yet. Most of my "mom" friends didn't start trying for their first until 30.

[mommyatty]

For you young moms from an old mom, we aren’t judging you. Mainly we are in awe that you got your shit together so much more quickly than we did. And we are too busy worrying you are judging us to judge you.

[covergirl82]

twinmomma, so glad you had a good time!

[2chatter]

twinmomma don't worry about it. I was 31 with my oldest in kinder - and now I am doing it again with DS 8 years later. Having been on both sides it's something people remark on, but I think it's just conversational. With DD sometimes it does bug me as most of her friends' parents are 50+ and either have only children or DD's friends are their youngest - so it's a bit strange the dynamic sometimes. As long as the parents' age is a good mix across their kids' ages I think it's fine! Glad you went and had fun!

[sweetptater]

I'm glad you had a good time! As long as your kids are around the same age, you'll have things to talk about. Most of DH's and my friends are 10 years older than us.

[k3am]

I'm glad you had fun!

Of our friends with kids around DD's age, we have a 13-year gap between the oldest and youngest and we all get along pretty well.

[mustardseed2007]

I'm glad you had a good time! Confession: you said you were 31 and I was thinking - oh she's young! But I'm actually only 5 years older than you so...I feel so freakin ancient sometimes.

ETA: Can I just say, making friends with moms that are older than me or younger than me is totally fine. Where I live there are MULTIPLE people in my area that were in my high school class, but none that were my actual friends in high school. More like - they were cheerleaders or on the drill team and I was in the band with a major social divide between us. 
I feel much more uncomfortable with them than with someone 10 years younger or older than me. 

[HeartofCheese]

I wouldn't worry about it. Reality is that you're all adults bonded by common circumstances. If anyone has an issue with age (i.e., when a normal conversation suddenly becomes a competition...), it's b/c she's insecure so I just try to be kind. If I catch it...half the time I sincerely take what they say under advisement. =\

Glad you had fun!

[rere]

Just my thoughts, but making mom friends is the worst. I think I could find a new husband (not that I am) easier than making a real, adult, true, woman friend.

[186momx]

I've given up making mom friends. I have mom acquaintances who I talk and chat with when we cross path at kid parties, sports, and school stuff. There is a group of 4 families that we have grown up with through daycare and we all get along great but we can't ever find a day/time/place to meet up without the kids in tow. I love hanging with the other moms but schedules just don't mesh.

[2chatter]

Preach about this mom friend thing. I am glad my college roommate moved back so I can be totally real with someone. We have social and kid issue and schedule issue and my husband makes me crazy friends but show up to my dirty house and I am in my Pjs friends? No new ones since my 20s. It sucks!

[rere]

That's me! I have people we hang out with, some former friends who turned out pretty catty and mean, and many I'm frienly with, but none since high school no one that I could talk on the phone forever or just pop over and hang out, talk about anything friend. My best friend from high school has 5 kids 5-15, so she can barely remember her name. She hangs out mostly with sisters, which I have none.

[sdlaura]

I'm 36 and on the young end for moms with kindergarteners here. I agree with mommyatty though - they're not judging you, just impressed!