Sick days for kids

[mae0111]

I believe that my 8 year old conned me into a sick day today. I think she has bad allergies, and probably didn't feel great when she woke up, but I think she figured a day at home with me and her iPad didn't sound terrible.

Except she's grounded and lost screen time. And I won't let her hang out and do fun things, and I won't take her anywhere. And apparently that makes me an awful human and She's been in bed all morning (sick = rest) and started begging to go to school around 11am (so lunch and recess - she missed all the heavy stuff).

So what is sick days look like in your house for school-aged kids? Do you keep them home if it's iffy and you have flexibility? Or send them unless a limb is falling off? I usually lean toward the latter, myself...

[akafred]

We kept DD home one day this week (Wed I think) because she complained the night before that her tummy hurt (left football practice early too, though only a few minutes). She acted pretty much normal, no fever, but repeated that her tummy hurt a few times, and announced before bed that she was probably too sick to go to work the next day. I had every intention of sending her to school. I texted the teacher to ask if something happened at school that would make her not want to go; teacher said actually she had a great week so far, but a couple of toddlers were out sick with a stomach bug. Next morning she texted to say one of the elementary kids was out that day and see how C was. C said she vomited in the toilet the night before, but idk how accurate that is. Anyway we ended up keeping her home mostly because we know it was going around and either she had it or she might pick it up at school, and I could WFH that afternoon so no biggie.

What it looked like: She was allowed to play with toys, watch a little tv, but not allowed to play outside with her friends which is the real killer for her. So if she was faking it, she got her punishment seeing and hearing the kids playing without her. But I think she probably was fighting it off and the day at home probably helped.

[supertrooper1]

DS is too young to fake it yet, but he has to be pretty sick for me to stay home. DH on the other hand, wants DS to stay home if he's just somewhat sick or has been sick and is tired. And of course since it's easier for me to take time off, DH will pressure me to stay home. Once DS gets to DC or preschool, he's fine and enjoys playing with his friends.

[mommyatty]

Growing up, if you missed school, then you also missed all activities until you returned to school. So missing Friday meant all weekend, you had no extracurricular activities, no sleepovers with friends, no fun outside the house until at least Monday. We could basically read or watch whatever the adult had on tv.

I plan to institute a similar rule. Staying home sick wasn’t fun in my house until really we were old enough to stay home alone. Then at least we had tv to ourselves.

[k3am]

Oct 20, 2017 12:17:29 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Growing up, if you missed school, then you also missed all activities until you returned to school. So missing Friday meant all weekend, you had no extracurricular activities, no sleepovers with friends, no fun outside the house until at least Monday. We could basically read or watch whatever the adult had on tv.

I plan to institute a similar rule. Staying home sick wasn’t fun in my house until really we were old enough to stay home alone. Then at least we had tv to ourselves.

This was my house as well. My mom's general policy was that if you didn't have a fever and you weren't puking (or liquid pooping. Sorry for the visual), you were going to school. It backfired and I had multiple events of puking at school after saying my stomach hurt, so it turned into a policy like mommyatty mentioned above. 

[justcheckingin73]

I’m very lucky that my kids aren’t sick very often so this doesn’t come up much but usually it’s a fever or something contagious that keeps them home. Therefore, there is no playing outside or going anywhere because I don’t want them spreading germs. Both have pulled the “I don't want to go to school bit” but honestly, they usually decide to go. Maybe I have unicorn children but thankfully they haven’t tried to con me...yet.

On a side note, I do believe in mental health days and would support that if/when they are stressed enough to warrant one. I’m thinking high school but even then all of their friends are at school anyway so it would truly be a rest at home day.

ETA: growing up, a sick day meant watching the Price is Right. I always loved that.

[mae0111]

Sick days growing up for me were just like mommyatty 's house. No activities until back to school, no outside playing. I did get to watch TV, but we didn't have cable, so we had like 5 channels. It wasn't that awesome.

I don't remember ever faking it. Especially in high school - it was too hard to catch up. But being home sick was soooo boring. I always preferred being in school with my friends.

[polecat8]

I've kept my DD home when she had a fever or something contagious (she got pinkeye the first day of kindergarten and had to stay home the next day). She's not one to complain unless she is really sick. I think we have only had to pick her up from school once for illness. Knock on wood.

When I was younger, I went to school unless I was really sick, which was rare. When I was 16, I had an abscess on my tonsil and missed a month of school because I was so sick and my doctor didn't want to chance anything since it was flu season. I remember missing 3 or 4 days of school in a week and going to the hospital for 3 days and getting my tonsil removed. It was brutal. My brother brought home my assignments. So my day consisted of resting, watching a little daytime tv with my mom and then getting some schoolwork done. I also had a problem solving competition to get ready for, so my friend's mom would pick me up and then pick up my friends at school so we could prep. That was the only place I was allowed to go outside of my house. When I finally did get to go back to school, I wasn't allowed to participate in gym class for another two months. But I was happy about that since we were on the swimming module and I didn't have to get in the pool.

[akafred]

Oct 20, 2017 12:25:24 GMT -5 justcheckingin73 said:

I’m very lucky that my kids aren’t sick very often so this doesn’t come up much but usually it’s a fever or something contagious that keeps them home. Therefore, there is no playing outside or going anywhere because I don’t want them spreading germs. Both have pulled the “I don't want to go to school bit” but honestly, they usually decide to go. Maybe I have unicorn children but thankfully they haven’t tried to con me...yet.

On a side note, I do believe in mental health days and would support that if/when they are stressed enough to warrant one. I’m thinking high school but even then all of their friends are at school anyway so it would truly be a rest at home day.

ETA: growing up, a sick day meant watching the Price is Right. I always loved that.

I'm an introvert so a day at home IS a mental health day, but DD is an extrovert so it is not something that refreshes her.

The Price Is Right was on my sick day menu. I also remember a lot of I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched, but ESPECIALLY Little House on the Prairie.

[Covergirl82]

I let the kids stay home if they have a fever or are puking (or diarrhea), or if it's questionable that they could start puking in the near future. They may watch TV or read, but that's pretty much it. And I always force one to two rest times (no TV or books) and get them to try and take a nap. No activities or friends until they are feeling better.

[2chatter]

Sick days are total quarantine in your room and sick food. No special treatment. They don't have tvs or computers in their rooms but are permitted iPads. No excursions, no playing, no ECs. None of mine have ever even tried to fake. When one is sick generally no one else gets it so they are on board with containing the germs.

[sunbutter]

My kids still love school so I don't struggle with this much. DD was legitimately sick a few weeks ago and she was super disappointed she couldn't go to school and kept begging to go pick up her brother. Sick days at my house mean movies and quiet activities.

[mae0111]

I'm also an advocate of mental health days. The school actually has 1/2 days or full workshop days once a month, so I think that serves the mental health day idea pretty well. But I'm up for it when needed. This was more of a "I'm bored, don't feel 100%, and I think I can sucker mom into a day of screentime. Way better than 2nd grade."

DD has all but admitted that she was not sick enough to stay home today. Icing on the cake - she found out that the class got iPad time at school today, and she didn't get it here. She was really mad. And my neighbor just invited us over to play on a bouncy house that she ordered for a party yesterday, and the company couldn't pick it up until tomorrow. Being sick, of course, she can't go. I'm pretty sure she's learned her lesson.

[mommyatty]

mae0111- our school has a half day the first Friday of every month. Plus fall break and Thanksgiving break and Christmas break and Spring Break...I concur that’s probably enough of a mental health break, at least until puberty! Pretty much February, April, and September are the only months without a “Break” other than the half day the first Friday.

[erinshelley21]

I'm glad karma took care of this one for you mae0111

[traveltheworld]

DS loves school so far, so hasn't tried to fake sick yet. I was a latch key kid and my parents were both working two jobs while I was growing up, so they didn't even pay enough attention to know if I was going to school or not. I used to skip school all the time and go to the library to read (yup, super rebellious there!). This went on for a year or two until the principal finally made my parents come in and talk about how often I was "sick".

[ECB]

The one time that I could tell ds wasn’t really all that sick (although I didn’t doubt he wasn’t 100%), I told him that if he stays home, nonplaying outside, no playing with friends after school, it’s and inside quiet day. After that, he decided to go to school.

When I can tell he’s truly sick - which is rare- I don’t have to have that talk and he’s on the couch all day.

[waverly]

I wrote something, and it never ended up posting. I usually do the lets try medicine approach first. So if she woke up with allergies, I would give her allergy medicine and see how she is feeling in 30 minutes. Same with pain and Motrin or Tylenol or stomach aches and stomach medicine like Pepto Bismol kids. Usually they are then fine enough to go to school, and I send them.

Fever and throwing up etc is obviously staying home. From birth on and being in daycare, they were constantly sick. So I had to get in the habit of sending them unless fever and throwing up otherwise I would never gone to work ever for several winters (6-8 month span of time each year). So in order to keep my job, I had to do that. And it kind of carried over to school age. And they both like school, so they don't pretend to be sick. Well DD the 4 year old will say her stomach hurts type thing, but then I do the medicine and ask her again and try to encourage her. The school will call if they are truly sick, and guess what no one has called in probably about a year or two. So they have been fine.

If they were truly sick or just faking it they are for sure not doing any activities that day/ evening.  They can play in the house, do chores and run errands.  No sports, activities, or friends that day.  Weekends, I would play by ear as we haven't run into that yet.  If they were actually sick and then well, they can do things on the weekends.  If they are faking it I might realize that and then cancel weekend plans maybe?  Or at least Fri night and Sat. 

[phdmomma]

In general both kids think staying at home is super boring, so typically they don't fake being sick. We had about a billion ear infections until they both got tubes this summer, and that has quieted down. I'll be the outlier here, but both kids are lactose intolerant so puking doesn't automatically mean that they are sick. If someone (looking at you grandparents) feeds them too much dairy they might puke or have diarrhea at night, but aren't actually sick and can go to school the next morning. Also DD has reflux that flares up with too much food, so she might puke if she's eaten too much, but not really be sick. We had an issue when she was a baby at daycare and feeding herself table food, and if she didn't eat a lot they would stuff her full of mush and she would volcano everywhere. Like DD puked last night because someone (still looking at your grandparents) had fed her a lot of dairy (when they know that they shouldn't do that), but she is still at school (daycare) today because she isn't sick.

[mommyatty]

I really do hate the hard and fast rules about when to keep kids home. Like, if anything weird is going on, I puke. Nervous? Puke. Tired? Puke. Allergies? Puke. DS seems to be the same. He tasted yogurt yesterday he didn’t like, and he puked in his bowl. He’s at school today. Not sick at all.

OTOH, my kids and I all have body temps that are well below 98.6. If DD says she doesn’t feel well, and she’s at 99, she’s likely staying home because she is contagious. Her normal temp is about 97.4. My mom used to put in my chart at school that if I complained, they needed to call her no matter what my temp. Like DD, I had a tendency to go from 99 to 104 in about 15 minutes.

I get that some people won’t use good judgment, and that’s why there has to be a rule, but it’s still frustrating.

[waverly]

If they were puking not related to a stomach virus or anything contagious then I would send and not tell the school about the puke. I mean they are really only worried about it from a contagious POV.

My kids' puking has always been a stomach virus except for DD's cough and it's an obvious cough until she spits up type thing. And that is treated with her breathing treatments because it's an asthma cough so with meds she would be fine at school.

My kids also are sick at 99, so that rule never held true for us either that 99 is not a fever. It absolutely is a fever in our house. We generally run on the normal or cold side also.