Help me ask questions like a man.

[sunbutter]

I have the opportunity to meet a VIP within our company tomorrow as part of a small group. If it was 1:1, I would have no problem. I just have reluctance to ask questions just for the sake of asking questions. However, I do understand the benefit of being seen AND heard.
The goal of the meeting is to allow him to get to know some of the folks leading programs in our area. I was one of two nominated from my group of about 80. I will be fine answering questions but I feel like I need to also make an effort to start a conversation.
I have this issue in most meetings. I am an excellent listener but have issues knowing what to ask and believing that question is worth folks' time, particularly if they are upper upper management.
My other issue is those folks who absolutely dominate the conversation. How do you make them shut up???

Tips, suggestions?

[mommyatty]

You can't shut the gunners up. The best you can do is break in and say "Gunner makes a good point. That makes me wonder about what you think of Y."

Try to figure out how your spot fits with the VIP's and try to formulate a question or comment about that. And remember the whole purpose here is for the VIP to get to know you and your group. You are representing 80 people. I have a much easier time speaking up if it's for someone else, not me. You have a whole group of someone elses.

And relax! You're going to do great!

[CrazyLucky]

Is there anything you are specifically concerned about? I was at a training session and one of the grand poo-bahs came in for a Q&A. I said something like, "My site has nine managers, 8 of which are white men and one of which is a white woman. Similarly, the board is made up of 8 white men and one white woman. What is the board doing to try to increase diversity from the top levels to the bottom levels?" I have no interest in being a CEO, but the fact that the manager ranks are so white and male bothers me a lot.
Or are you looking for a questions that shows off your knowledge? Something like, "I've been researching our biggest customer and found they are putting a lot of resources into such and such development. Are we doing anything to be prepared to meet their needs when they go commercial?"
Or get him to talk about himself. "I know you have a finance degree, but took an unusual path to become the VP. Can you give us an idea of what role prepared you the most for your current position?"

[freezorburn]

I’m reminded of an article I read some time ago, about how women in the Obama administration used a strategy of amplifying one another during meetings to make sure that their ideas were heard, and that they got credit for them.

Do you know who else will be at this meeting? Is there someone you can partner with (doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman) to amplify your questions and concerns?

[rere]

When I read the title, all I could think of was "Where are my keys? What did you do with them?"

[waverly]

I just read on the CEP board an HBR article that women and men actually interact the same at work. It is the bias and perception of them that is different. So feel free to ask questions like a man or a woman.

Have some prepared questions. When someone pauses jump in there quickly. My style is annoying interrupter- don't be that bad, but do jump in when you can.

[sunbutter]

Oct 25, 2017 10:46:17 GMT -5 rere said:

When I read the title, all I could think of was "Where are my keys? What did you do with them?"

Omg. Completely laughing out loud!!

[2chatter]

rere I am dying.

So I always workshop questions with a small group or a couple of colleagues I know well. It helps me get to the best possible place.

I always prep two to three questions and take notes. I then lift the rhetoric the speaker used and apply it to my questions so I am keeping the speaker on comfortable ground but also getting something out there for my own visibility and agenda.

I have more donts than anything else - don’t ask politically charged questions, which depending on your environment you know what these are, don’t ask specific special snowflake questions that require details
And expertise to field, don’t ask quantitative questions that have to answered with figures unless they were in the presentation, don’t deviate from the topics/central theme of the presentation, don’t ask questions that are too general (like what do you see happening next year).

Pretty much help the speaker shine while raising a salient point and they will remember you. Not softballs, it’s a question of knowing your audience and relevance.