TWERKS?

[traveltheworld]

Did we do TWERKS?

I'm back from vacation.  DH is out of town, so I was really hoping that I could get some alone time at night after the kids are in bed to decompress from my vacation.  But DH calls me all the time wanting to chat.  I know, I should be happy that my husband still wants to talk to me after spending 24 hours together for 10 days, but c'mon man - leave me alone for a night!

[supertrooper1]

My horrible coworker left last week and her replacement has been great so far. She tries really hard and wants to learn. So far the downside to that is she follows me around like a puppy dog and I have to walk her through a lot of things. She's very chatty which hasn't bothered me yet. A supervisor that works with our office sometimes told her to calm down the other day because she had a good find and started to panic because I wasn't there to walk her through. I hope she is confident enough to work through things on her own soon. I'm giving her a break because our coworker on the swing shift with her wasn't the greatest example.

[186momx]

DH enjoyed his Minion cake last night and seemed to like his gift which was a camelback daypack.

My mom sees the dermatologist for her skin cancer next Friday.

I'm really looking forward to Friday and once I get DD to school I'm going to spend the day taking care of me.

[twinmomma]

I'm headed back to Punta Cana in three weeks. Awesome and not awesome at the same time.
Still have no idea what the massive audit presentation was for.

[meagain]

I am taking a mom night out tomorrow. I have a haircut scheduled for 4 and then I got a hotel room. Saturday I am getting a message and pedicure. I told my family they could only call me in case of an emergency.

My H got his disability started. Huge relief.

[2chatter]

DH has been stellar since he got off the prednisone and his hearing is back to where it was. He’s been helpful, communicative and engaged. I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

I’m staying overnight at a resort for future SIL’s bachelorette this weekend. Me, two nieces, SIL and MIL are sharing a suite. I don’t know how this will work because we are going to a club. I’m exactly in the middle of age between nieces and bride/SIL. I feel awkward. I plan to drink club soda with lime until I get the lay of the land. They are big drinkers, but I can’t imagine being at a club with them??!!!

[erinshelley21]

186momx, Hopefully that's a good sign that the dermatologist felt like her appointment could wait until next Friday! I'm glad you're spending a day to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Latest in the housing saga: DH was not upset that my aunt did contact us regarding the house. I told him his reaction suggested otherwise and he said it was combination of things. He is not interested in the house anymore because she doesn't want to sell the farmland with it. He isn't in love with the house but likes it enough to make it work if it also came with 40 acres. The latest idea as of last week before this even happened with my aunt's place is a good one but I told him to pump the brakes a bit before he gets too excited since that's been the issue with the last 284 ideas.

MIL has been talking about building on her property for the last couple of years. His idea is that she build a house on it and then we buy her house. I'm surprisingly okay with it. I really don't care where we live. I honestly don't as long as it's not out in the middle of nowhere, which her place is not. She has 13 acres so she could be even further away than our neighbors we have now. Plus, the kitchen needs updated, so I would really have a chance to make that house my own.

My brother goes next week to sign the paperwork for the agency that he'll be working for. Asshole still hasn't thrown a fit and he also hasn't told us which payout option he wants. I'm giving him until next week. Our office should be on the market soon. Our realtor cousin can't find any comps so he's having a hard time suggesting a list price.

[mellym]

Little babe is still cooking. I'm 39 weeks and so done. MIL is picking up the kids tonight to take them to a Halloween event at her work so I'm looking forward to some down time tonight. No school for DD1 tomorrow so I took the day off work and she's coming with me to my doctor appointment. Hope he says I'm having the baby this weekend.

[judyblume14]

I switched teams a couple months ago. My role did not change. My responsibilities have broadened a little bit (in a way that I serve a wider customer base with a minimal increase in effort). The switch was basically because my boss and her boss were leaving, and a C-level exec of the company (he hired me 11 years ago), thought this was the safest move for me, since my role is unique, and I provide a lot of value, but "on paper" the role doesn't make sense in our department.

Anyway, last I TWERKed, I said that even though I like my new manager as a person, it didn't seem like a good fit. I take that back. He is wonderful. I had a very frank conversation with him last week about my job "title" that doesn't match my responsibilities, and my concern that it might limit my opportunities. And that the misalignment of my skills and the job description are making career pathing/planning a challenge right now, when I'm ready to start taking more on.

There's a lot of red tape with HR in my (huge) company and job titles/department mapping/skill gridding are very defined.

Anyway, new manager had already discussed with our department head about changing my job profile and has sent me a few to review and consider, and has extending our standing weekly 1:1 meeting by 15 minutes so that we can talk about that stuff over the next couple months. So, that's a fun update.


A less fun update is that we're in need of a new roof. We are also in need of a way to pay for that.

[2chatter]

judyblume14 - yay for career pathing and a switched on manager!

[rere]

Last football game of the season tonight. Now it is full on hunting season for Dh and DS . When do I get a season? I spend all my time running to different seasons or doing everything because of a season. I don't hunt, but sitting in a tree, still, silent, and alone for hours sounds good.

[mustardseed2007]

I had an observation day at my kids' school.

Remember, I'd been super concerned that the teachers had suggested holding winter-birthday DS out of Kindergarten in his Montessori school. Ultimately we moved him ahead in the same school, but with a dyslexia tutor. Things have been going well, but he's been having a hard time finishing his work plan each day, which you're supposed to do in kinder.

His work today was decent. He did some math, but only had 1 piece of math work on his plan and I had been told long ago that kinder kids are supposed to do 2. He then spent 3x as much time on science as he had spent on math. Definitely going to speak to them about that in the PTC next week. I'm going to anticipate that I'll be told he's being given 1 math lesson per day b/c he's slow, and to not worry that he's spending so long on science b/c he loves it and science is important too.

On the up side, I observed him with his language tutor and he did AH-MAZING. The kid who didn't know any letter names in June knows all of his letters and can now read and spell 3 letter words. I almost cried I was so happy. I think he'll be ready for traditional school next year...but I want to take his tutor with him through every level including college and I'm not sure how to make that happen - ha.

Meanwhile, DD did great. She already knows all her letter names and is working on the sounds and can rhyme. She's as distractible as a kitten, though. I find myself simultaneously being worried about that b/c of what we're going through with DS, while also telling myself to chill b/c she's 3.

[saraml13]

You may remember that we bought a second car a few weeks ago. DH takes the train to work, and it literally has taken me years to get him to begrudgingly agree to a second car. He insisted that our 2007 Civic with 130k miles was good enough and that we had no need for another car, which has always left me stuck with all the DC drop offs/pickups and other logistics.

1. Having 2 cars has been a huge weight off of me. I still do most drop offs and pickups, but am able to make DH do them if I have an early/late meeting. And I've been able to do things like I drop one kid off at daycare while DH takes the other for a checkup.

2. DH won't stop raving about the new car. He'll tell anyone who will listen about the great features and how much better it is than our old car. Eye roll.

[akafred]

DD is officially off Prozac. It is still the detox period though, so she isn't OFF off. Another couple weeks and she'll be totally free and we can see how she does without meds again. Actually she is still on guanfacine but you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands. So now the question is what to do? Go without any (other) meds, try another SSRI, etc. DNW. Just someone tell me what to do for once instead of the other way around.

She HATES football. Lmao! She had a makeup game tonight and she had a really hard time. She is a sideline warmer, going in maybe 3-4 times per game for like 1 play that is basically a throw away play. She had such a hard time with focusing on the game, staying with her teammates on the sideline (vs running off and playing with the little siblings who were playing around nearby), I think coach actually called her out on it in the after game "pep" talk. They won. He berated them. Eyeroll. As we were leaving she said, "Football just isn't my thing." Awesome! So she will do indoor soccer for a short season then basketball. Which also isn't her thing because she is SHORT. But she is pretty decent at it at least.

I am REALLY liking Dr. Ross Greene's book from 2016 "Raising Human Beings." Love love love.

DH still thinks I eat crackers. Still have to switch teams at work. Haven't burst into tears yet. Victory.

[sudokufan]

I'm still dealing with car drama - we bought the thing mid-August, supposedly completed the paperwork 2 weeks ago (for the third time) and still don't have the account information to set up our auto-payments or anything. Dealership response to my latest email was basically a shrug. I've never had this kind of problem using dealership financing before.

We're researching daycares in our area, thinking about pulling DS (post-hammer incident) if we can find a spot elsewhere. Sigh. Next year he goes to K and we might be able to do before/after care through the school, so is it worth it, or are we risking jumping from frying pan to fire with a new unknown to us DC? Undetermined.

BUT, I have an appointment to get my hair done tomorrow. I'm thinking about getting the underside in back colored reddish purple :-D

[2chatter]

mustardseed2007 - don’t stress! DS was always super slow at Montessori. Like, work through snack and outside time to finish because he wanted to (sometimes) but it was his first work of the day slow (something bigger like a 45 card layout or hundreds chart). In K this year he finishes quickly and helps other kids. I was shocked.

akafred - it’s not for kids, but you might see if there are more “new” SSRI type drugs like it that are approved for kids...My mom’s doctor added a low dose of Trintillex and it levels her without taking away normal reactions. It’s been about six months and I am amazed. I have always felt like we were one pill away from a total breakdown but the trintellix has balanced her in a way nothing before has. Good luck - I loathe those appointments to talk about Meds. I feel so RESPONSIBLE, personally, for every single side effect. Every time. The worst.

[waverly]

saraml13 , so many eye rolls.

akafred , you've posted that a lot that your H thinks you eat crackers. Why does he think that? Maybe it's him?

My update is that PT got her way, and we are going an OT eval for DS. PT wasn't sending in her report to the pediatrician. I like her, but I have moments of of course she didn't. After she sent that in the pedi wrote the OT script which I brought in.

I did not want to do the therapies at the same time, but she insisted there was a wait list. There wasn't, so now I have to have to eval on Nov 7 because the therapist can do after school hours. Great, but at 3 pm they aren't exactly after school hours. What about a 4 pm? But if I want that time, then I am supposed to jump on it, so I was like fine eyeroll.

So then she mentioned orthotics because his ankles roll in a little. Oh and she keeps adding exercises. We are up to like 8 a night plus he has to "sit tall" for 15 min. I mean this is going to be a like an hour long every evening. It's crazy. But if I don't do it then we will just have to see her longer anyway.

This is peripheral since there are other issues at play, but the point was so he could ride his bike, and there has been nothing on riding his bike. Of course the exercises will make him stronger, so he can do so and take care of the knee going in and floppy leg (hip looseness) to make it easier. But still don't they have a bike they can put him on for 5 min to observe?

Oh and DD insists on also doing the exercises, so I have to rotate them on their equipment.  She does not need them, and is not in therapy.  And is driving me crazy.  Its an attention thing.  At least they are both getting to be more self directed?  

[2chatter]

waverly - would it be weird to say “how about I bring his bike next time so we can assess in context?”

[waverly]

2chatter, That's a good idea, and they may have a bike there. I'll mention it to her. Like I said I like her, but then I also like to vent about her. But it is helping him.

[mustardseed2007]

waverly , when DD did PT, they had bikes there. They would put kids on them sometimes, and it was good b/c they had straps for their feet. DS has ALWAYS has a problem with his feet coming off the pedals. I would definitely ask.

Also, I am sorry to say I missed that your son was going to PT b/c he couldn't ride a bike. How old is he? Just wondering b/c DS can't (and won't try to) ride one either. I try to be breezy about it but then again, I've been breezey about other stuff and it always seems to turn into a thing later on.

[waverly]

Oct 27, 2017 9:26:49 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

waverly , when DD did PT, they had bikes there. They would put kids on them sometimes, and it was good b/c they had straps for their feet. DS has ALWAYS has a problem with his feet coming off the pedals. I would definitely ask.

Also, I am sorry to say I missed that your son was going to PT b/c he couldn't ride a bike. How old is he? Just wondering b/c DS can't (and won't try to) ride one either. I try to be breezy about it but then again, I've been breezey about other stuff and it always seems to turn into a thing later on.

He just turned 7.  He can technically ride a bike like he can pedal.  But he can't ride far or up a hill.  He gets tired easily. And he still has his training wheels on, but solving one problem at a time.

DS has always been a clumsy child.  When he was learning to walk and walking he always fell on his head.  He didn't put his hands out or fall on his butt like his sister.  He didn't crawl until 10 months, but he walked at 12 months. So I  have known this was coming for a long time with the PT. Since probably he was 4, I realized he was behind from a daycare screening. 

I've asked the pediatrician's about it numerous times.  One time I had a script, but we were dealing with the heart surgery and hearing loss, so I put it off.  Another time, I asked and was told if he was improving with what we were doing at home then it was fine.

A third time I mentioned it, and was referred to a "brain center".  It was like all day PT, OT, and psychological testing.  I never heard of them, it sounded expensive, it didn't require a script except he wrote the center name on his pad.  I was weirded out, and decided to do my own OT and PT testing.  I got some books on OT and PT and realized I was completely out of my league.

But then I also realized I needed to look for physical symptoms.  So I started looking and realized his toes turn in when he walks.  I looked at his form on the bike and realized one leg looked relatively normal and the other leg looked loose.  The knee went in and the whole leg looked floppy.  I suspected a hip, knee thing.  So I decided to take him to an orthopedic.  And we found some structural issues with his hips and ankles and from there went to PT.

I don't know why but maybe because it was vague clumsiness or even dyspraxia/ developmental coordination disorder, I wanted a diagnosis from a doctor.  The pedi would not even examine him, so I went to the Ortho for a diagnosis.  It was helpful because it helped align the PT to what the Ortho had said. Now the PT would have gotten there eventually anyway, I think but it made it more of a direct line.

I am not sure what the OT will say though when she does her eval.  

[k3am]

DD had her 6-week follow-up yesterday. They don't want to see her in the office again. We'll have a follow-up MRI after 6 months, and hopefully, this will be the last we deal with neurosurgery besides boring routine follow-ups/

DS has his MRI scheduled for Wednesday.

[2chatter]

waverly - holy wow - that’s a lot. I think we heard it in small pieces occasionally but all together - awesome work. You probably don’t need an atta girl but this so warrants it. Parenting is HARD and it’s WORK!

Vent: Bike riding makes me crazy. My oldest did it easily. My middle learned at 9, and before that, couldn’t even manage with training wheels. DS at 5 could totally do it but mentally isn’t there. It makes me
batty. By the time we can do family bike rides no one is going to be into it except DS!

FFFC: the girls have two pretty athletic parents. They love sports. But they got every bit of uncoordination from both of us, the lowest possible overall level of fitness. It is so annoying. At least oldest got my crazy fast ability to build muscle. But middle just has no stamina. It’s unreal considering how active she is. Both is their parents played rugby and neither will despite excellent youth programs here, which is rare! I wish they would just commit for one season because they would both be hooked on the adrenaline.

[waverly]

Thank you 2chatter. We've been through a lot and lots of hard work. I know, I just want to go on a family bike ride since they don't fit in the bike trailer anymore.

[xctsclrx]

I have life updates:

I posted in Healthy living, but DH and I found out we were are expecting. We have not been to the doctor yet, but the throwing up and sore breast seem to mean something is going on. Our ultrasound is on the 8th. I am estimating that I am a little more than six weeks along.

PDQ
On that note it looks like DH will be deploying sometime in the next 6 months and there is a very real possibility that he might not get to meet this little person until it is almost a year old. So I have spent the last few days trying not to cry every 30 seconds.

[2chatter]

@xctscltx - Congrats!!! Do you have great local support from other women who have gone through this? One of my neighbors did and she was isolated from others with the same experience and it made it harder. Cultivate your village for this specifically now!!!! And you will rock it.

[xctsclrx]

2chatter, I don't have a strong support system where I live. My parents live 12 hours away and will be moving overseas at the same time the baby is due. My DH is in the Guard so not a lot of support from the military around here. I have a hard time reaching out to friends. I don't like asking for help so once we go to the doctor we are going to start telling people so hopefully my friends will be expecting me to ask for help.

[twinmomma]

xctsclrx, Congratulations!
One of my best friends has been through 3 deployments, all at varying stages of her 3 kids pregnancy/infancy. Everyone really rallied around her and picked up whatever slack she needed help with while her husband was gone. He's also National Guard, so not a big support system built in around here.

[akafred]

waverly, it probably is him. He seems to think everyone eats crackers lately. His boss, his coworker, his company, me, DD, etc. He seems to be at a really low period but it has lasted way too long and it is just hard. I am sensitive and assume it is my fault, and even if it isn't, I just want my husband to LIKE me. Le sigh. It's not the sort of thing I can talk to him about though. He would never consider therapy either individual or couples. If I talk about the therapy DD and I are doing (which he isn't just because of his work schedule, though IDK if he would anyway, probably not; he grits his teeth through any kind of psych appt with DD as it is), he loves to make fun of it. So I just try to grin and bare it. I love him passionately and just keep hoping it passes someday.

[erinshelley21]

Ahhh congrats xctsclrx! I can't imagine all of the different emotions you're feeling right now. Maybe your parents, or at least one of them, can hold off on their move overseas?