Counseling & My DD

[nicolewi]

I finally started some counseling for DD1 for anxiety. She's just had one session. I'm not sure how to handle it going forward. It's half an hour away and appointment times are really limited. So every time she goes, she misses school for 2 hours. Obviously this is going to become an issue with her friends. She's now stressing about what to tell people b/c even though her teacher doesn't say where people are going when they have to leave, her friends are going to get really curious if this keeps going on. 

The only closer option was a Christian Counseling place and even though we are Christian (Catholic) I felt like the religious overtones were a bit much. Each counselor's profile has some Bible verses noted and talks about their mission trips and using the "Word of the Lord." I'm would prefer not to mix religion in with her counseling sessions.

I guess...I just suck it up and she just misses school every week? We've never had a recurring thing like this that would require missing so much school. Any thoughts?  

Also, I have to turn in a note at the office b/c she will be missing so much, and so the office staff will probably know she's doing some kind of counseling as well. I suppose they know all kinds of things about the kids, but it's a little awkward. DD is all embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to know where she is going. 

[momin2013]

I think I'd have her continue if it seems like it will be helpful for her. I personally would agree with you on the religious option; that wouldn't be my choice either.

At school, I guarantee you that kids go for this sort of stuff often enough that the office staff won't even bat an eye.

Explaining to her peers might be trickier. I wonder if there's a way to explain it to her closest friends so they have her back on this, and cover/speak up for her with the other peers if needed? Like maybe she could have them over for a sleepover or little get together or something, and while they're over, you take the opportunity to talk to them about what's going on (with your DD in on the plan of course), so they understand?

Just thinking out loud. You're absolutely doing the right thing by getting some counselling for her; it can't hurt, and it will hopefully end up being a big help to her!

[erbear]

We were in this situation 2 years ago. Knowing that it was temporary (the therapist said it would be about 4-6 months), we just pulled her from school. It kind of sucked but the therapy helped.

[court26]

Kids have all kinds of reasons for reoccurring things! I just found out that one of DS's best friends has been going to therapy for 3 years and missing school. He just says he has an appt and the mom only told me about it as I was talking about my own DS and his potential need for counseling. My DS goes to weekly allergy shots 1 hour away and sometimes he misses school. It might be worth making sure she isn't missing something really important at the same time every week (just so you and the teacher can make a plan to make it up), but otherwise, I would tell her to say she has an "appointment". I think kids are used to other kids leaving and usually they are jealous there isn't an appt for them to skip out to.

[lexus]

Honestly, I would talk to her about not needing to be embarrassed. She needs therapy, which is the same as any other health issue that she might need to see a professional. Explain to her that lots of people need extra help and it's nothing to be ashamed of (don't perpetuate the mental health stigma by playing into this why am I going to tell other people embarrassment) just like her peers who get pulled out for speech, OT or reading specialist help shouldn't be ashamed either. My dd tells people she has a Dr appt.

[nicolewi]

lexus, I did try that speech and I'm still working on it. I think she'd be better off not making it a big secret but so far not luck.