Gift for an elderly a-hole

[akafred]

So, there is a guy 2 houses down who is a jerk. On Saturday he came out and fussed at DH and me. DH was playing football with DD and a couple of neighbor kids in the road. We live on the end of a very quiet cul-de-sac. There is zero traffic. Our yards are narrow and not conducive to playing sports. So they were in the road, and one end zone was to make it to the end of the street near his mailbox. Apparently someone put his flag down. I don't even know how that would have happened. So he told DH that the mailman wouldn't have even seen he had mail, and something not real clear. DH laughed in a friendly way; he didn't realize at first the guy was fussing at him. Guy said, "I really don't think this is funny. Mailboxes are federal property and when you touch them it's a federal crime." So then we knew he was fussing at us. There was another time he told me that "the children" don't need to be playing in the street. So we've established he's kind of an a-hole. Not a huge one because he didn't yell at us or anything, but there would have been much nicer ways to ask us and the kids not to play near his mailbox. Instead he was gruff and pulled the "federal offense" line.

Anyway, DD was there and got scared/upset because "the man was rude." So I tried to explain to her that he was a little upset because he thought someone had put the flag down on his mailbox and the mailman wouldn't know he had mail to pick up, and he just wanted to make sure we knew he didn't want anyone playing by his mail box. I tried to make it not a big deal and phrase it from the man's perspective because knowing DD she would be rude to him if she thought he was rude to DH or me. So... now she is worried about him and wants to give him a Christmas present.

Any suggestions? The only time I have ever seen him since we moved in in July is one time he and his wife introduced themselves and the two times he has fussed at me. They look to be about 65. They have a swing set in their back yard but I have not seen kids there. They are trim, but I have no idea of hobbies. I don't want to spend a lot of money and think it should be anonymous.

Thoughts?

[HeartofCheese]

A batch of cookies that your DD can help make and deliver. I think your DD is super, super sweet.

[welly01]

I second cookies or some other home-baked goodie.

[k3am]

Cookies. And not anonymous. An anonymous gift is creepy and maybe a little passive-aggressive. The whole purpose is to help your DD feel better and try to smooth down feathers that were rumpled over something stupid, so have her deliver them, but preferably when you guys have pressing plans you have to get to so you're not stuck in an awkward conversation.

Aside from being fit, this man is my FIL, btw. Right down to the playset in the backyard when no children have lived there in years.

[akafred]

Nov 20, 2017 14:06:59 GMT -5 k3am said:

Cookies. And not anonymous. An anonymous gift is creepy and maybe a little passive-aggressive. The whole purpose is to help your DD feel better and try to smooth down feathers that were rumpled over something stupid, so have her deliver them, but preferably when you guys have pressing plans you have to get to so you're not stuck in an awkward conversation.

Aside from being fit, this man is my FIL, btw. Right down to the playset in the backyard when no children have lived there in years.

She was watching a movie where a family "elfs" a family secretly which I think is where the idea came from. I agree that anonymous baked goods would be weird. But ''tis the season for secret Santa.

[erinshelley21]

Another vote for cookies or baked goods of some kind.

[mustardseed2007]

Baked good but not anonymous. Here's a story about some teens who were sued by their neighbor for anonymously dropping off cookies. Totally extra, but you said he was an a-hole....

abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=473840

[k3am]

mustardseed2007, wow. Just wow.

[akafred]

Nov 20, 2017 17:20:10 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Baked good but not anonymous. Here's a story about some teens who were sued by their neighbor for anonymously dropping off cookies. Totally extra, but you said he was an a-hole....

abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=473840

Holy crap! I can understand to a point but when she sued even after the girls apologized and offered to pay the medical bills, I lose most of my sympathy. Sheesh!

[HeartofCheese]

I would have thought that finding out a kind, attentive neighbor was watching out for you would have helped with the residual fear of the burglary. It sucks she had a panic attack - and of course, she only called the hospital b/c panic attacks make you think you're going to die when there is no real harm at all - but she definitely should have let it go. That woman has worse problems than two kids trying to be kind. Ugh.

ETA: The judge should have said that the burglary was the cause of her panic attack and therefore the medical costs incurred should be attached as restitution. 

[akafred]

Nov 21, 2017 8:37:19 GMT -5 HeartofCheese said:

I would have thought that finding out a kind, attentive neighbor was watching out for you would have helped with the residual fear of the burglary. It sucks she had a panic attack - and of course, she only called the hospital b/c panic attacks make you think you're going to die when there is no real harm at all - but she definitely should have let it go. That woman has worse problems than two kids trying to be kind. Ugh.

ETA: The judge should have said that the burglary was the cause of her panic attack and therefore the medical costs incurred should be attached as restitution. 

I agree. Sounds like the poor woman has PTSD, and the cause of that was the burglary, not the cookie delivery.

[mustardseed2007]

Right?! Makes you afraid to talk to people.

[akafred]

Nov 21, 2017 11:26:28 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Right?! Makes you afraid to talk to people.

I blame all the lawyers.

[mustardseed2007]

Nov 21, 2017 15:57:35 GMT -5 akafred said:

Nov 21, 2017 11:26:28 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Right?! Makes you afraid to talk to people.

I blame all the lawyers.

I'm obviously the wrong kind of lawyer b/c any time anyone says "I want to sue!!!" I'm almost always groan and say...no you don't. 

I'm in house, though. All I think of when I think of lawsuits are bills. 

[mommyatty]

mustardseed2007, me too! Lol. And discovery. Discovery just sucks ass. Bleh.