Self Care 11/29

[cam]

How has self care been going?

Any plans?

Challenge: Think of one thing each day that is going well.

[auntie]

Self care is shot to shit here.

Supporting my mother as caregiver to my dad is one of the most challenging things I've ever dealt with. I am only sleeping 4 hours most evenings and have a classic tension headache pretty much daily. Dad's pretty difficult in the best of circumstances and my mother is ill-suited to dealing with his presentation of the disease. I have been dealing with their poor planning in crisis mode for 16 months now and am exhausted. This should never have been an emergency.

Under stress, my mother's anxiety and ADHD are through the roof; I redirect her, but often she agrees to do something and then doesn't follow through. She constantly whines about the expense of having caregivers come to the house because it's "not worth the money" and yet she doesn't leave the house when she comes. Yesterday she promised to go to the pool for a couple hours to rehab her new knee but stayed home to wash her windows instead.

I am able to get a couple walks in each week and do try to make sensible food choices but getting a break to see friends or spend time with my own little family is hard.

I have been touring memory care facilities for dad and have started the process of placing him. They did not plan for this, so it will likely impoverish my mother. And of course one of dad's early symptoms was being irresponsible with his investments, so they're about $350K less than they were 10 years ago. Emotionally, I am on the edge with stress and sadness.

On a happier note, DS was on local TV last night. A news crew came and did a feature on the Santa trains and DS was in one of the clips. DH and I were grabbing a bite at out favorite bar (wings for him, a turkey sandwich for me and a couple IPAs) when it came on. The bartenders know DS from when he meets us afterwork and cheered when he came on.

[waverly]

I am sorry it is so stressful auntie .

Self care- I have been working on stretching my muscles from my plantar fasciitis and neck/ trap muscles. Making some progress on the PF, but not the neck, I have had PT and chiro care but it's pretty much a chronic pain issue, so I don't know really how to handle it since taking the IBuprofen I need to not be in pain causes other side effects, and so do other pain killers.

Otherwise, we have been working hard on getting lots of date nights, so that has been good. I tried to make plans with one group of friends last month, but it fell through. Tried to make plans with my sister, but that mostly fell through. We had about a 45 min visit is all.

Thankfully Thanksgiving is over with. I enjoyed the 4 days off work, but not the 2 days of family drama. MIL has pituitary tumor surgery next week, so I am guessing they will not come out for Christmas. And I am not sure if SIL is coming for Christmas either. I haven't heard anything. I would prefer they don't come since I just saw them and her FI doesn't celebrate it anyway. This way we can just have a quiet Christmas at home. I guess no news is good news on the holiday plans? Plus she will have seen MIL and my H next week anyway for the surgery. So anyway, I don't really know what is going on especially with school break, so I guess I need to figure that out, and get teacher gifts, nephew gifts and stocking gifts is all that is left.

[sahara78]

Ugh auntie, sorry for the parent stress. Cool your DS was on TV, though!

Self care isn't going well. We had to put my beloved dog to sleep on Tuesday. RIP Atlas in my avatar. Our remaining dog is depressed, so I'm going to make an effort to walk her every day.

I called my company's EAP line to get a referral to a counselor. I feel like everything is falling apart this year (DD diagnosed with ASD, dog got cancer, leaking house siding with contractor saying we should sue builder). I don't like feeling bitter, but I'm really resentful this is my life.

[macchiatto]

How has self care been going? Not bad.

Any plans? I met up with friends for coffee this morning. I've also been a little more intentional about trying to fit in some guitar-playing and/or reading each day. I need to be more consistent with exercise, time in nature and time with friends.

Challenge: Think of one thing each day that is going well.
I love this! Today it's my new professional role. I got some really encouraging feedback yesterday.

[cam]

sahara78 , sorry for your loss.