TWERKS, Radoms, FFC

[186momx]

Updates anyone?

[186momx]

DD didn't move up at gymnastics. She wasn't even tested. The only girls who moved up were tested for pre-team which isn't even the next class. DD was bummed as she has worked really hard the last few months to get a couple skills that were required to move.

My random is I'm working on a set of books from 2014! We all feel like we don't have our crap together but time traveling to 2014 is just weird. My fingers don't like typing that date anymore.

[supertrooper1]

My uncle's funeral is next Friday and a potluck is after. I'm trying to figure out what will travel the hour to the funeral home, sit in the car during and then another 20 minutes to the potluck location. I'm thinking of ordering a couple of sandwich trays from Costco and bringing ice packs.
On top of my uncle passing, my cousin lost his battle with cancer yesterday and my great aunt in her 90's passed today. All on my mom's side of the family. Looks like I'll be attending a bunch of funerals this month.

My random is I have a code on the door to my office that only the members of this office and a few supervisors are supposed to have. Today, a supervisor I can't stand came barging in to ask me a question. So now I'm pissed at whichever one of my coworkers shared the code with him. He doesn't have a need to access my office except by knocking.

[mae0111]

I mentioned that my former company settled with the DOL for underpaying women, and that I was on the list for compensation. I received my settlement offer. Low 5 figures, less than 10% of my annual salary when I left, and subject to both payroll taxes (back pay) and a 1099 for interest (on the back pay). So it works out to be a relatively small amount.

So now I have a decision to make. I can take the money and be done with it, or I can kick off a class action suit. This compensation is for one specific year. I was underpaid for at least 12 years (and attempted to get raises several times). The settlement covered one location (the company has over 65 locations), and only above a certain level (about 1/3 of the company). An awful lot of people were left out. Also, the company has been capitalizing heavily on a marketing stunt to promote equality for women in the workplace. So, do as we say, not as we do. Hypocrites.

It's not about the money for me. It's about exposing the company. But it will take YEARS.

What would you do? Take the money and go on a small trip? Or stand and fight?

[waverly]

supertrooper1, I am sorry to hear about all the losses in your family.

mae0111, I think it depends. For me, not really being involved, I would probably take the money and move on. But every once in awhile I am called to something, and I just have this strong feeling that I need to do take a stand. If I felt that calling to fight then I would. I would just have to then think about what the future might look like as far as if I have that much to give to the fight. Do I have years of passion in me for this as well as money for legal fees?

[2chatter]

For the first time since DD’s first Christmas (she was three months old and is ten now) the girls might be here alllll day on Christmas Day. They will be with their Dad for a few days before and it’s my 40th - so he’s thinking about them just staying. I’m so hopeful!! They could come
With us to SIL’s and we will have a cake for my birthday.

My fingers are so crossed - they are here every Christmas morning but their Dad picks them up around noon then brings them home that night if he has to work the next day.

[traveltheworld]

Nov 30, 2017 13:26:47 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

I mentioned that my former company settled with the DOL for underpaying women, and that I was on the list for compensation. I received my settlement offer. Low 5 figures, less than 10% of my annual salary when I left, and subject to both payroll taxes (back pay) and a 1099 for interest (on the back pay). So it works out to be a relatively small amount.

So now I have a decision to make. I can take the money and be done with it, or I can kick off a class action suit. This compensation is for one specific year. I was underpaid for at least 12 years (and attempted to get raises several times). The settlement covered one location (the company has over 65 locations), and only above a certain level (about 1/3 of the company). An awful lot of people were left out. Also, the company has been capitalizing heavily on a marketing stunt to promote equality for women in the workplace. So, do as we say, not as we do. Hypocrites.

It's not about the money for me. It's about exposing the company. But it will take YEARS.

What would you do? Take the money and go on a small trip? Or stand and fight?

Have you talked to a lawyer about this?  I think my answer will depend on how much of a time commitment this will require from you, whether you'd need to pay out of pocket for any upfront legal costs, and whether you'd have to become the face of the law suit.

[covergirl82]

supertrooper1, it sounds like a difficult time for your and your family - hugs to you.

mae0111, I agree with others that you have to decide how much you want to invest financially and emotionally in a further legal battle. I would tend to agree with waverly that it also depends on your level of passion around the issue.

[mommyatty]

mae0111- since you’re already gone, and they’ve already admitted to underpaying you, I would AT LEAST counter. At the very least. And you need an attorney to do so. And I would be ready to fight, especially right now when they aren’t going to want any negative publicity around this issue.

[twinmomma]

supertrooper1, I'm so sorry. This is such a tough time of year to be dealing with so much loss. Thinking of you and your family.

mae0111, I'm with the others - I'd talk to an attorney to get more info on what the process would look like. But I'd feel a little compelled to do something to stand up for everyone left behind or impacted. I know how hard it was for you to leave your team behind and transition out of there. It would be like divine justice to expose them, but is it worth what it would take to do it?

My update: MIL and I hashed out her deal with SIL via email and I think it helped overall. She explained some of her issues with SIL, which I shared with SIL so that she could own up to her part of their weird, not close relationship. And I'm hoping that everyone can just move on and get along better now. There's literally no reason not to.

Update 2: I'm feeling weird about the health diagnoses I got last month. I've cut out gluten and am seeing noticeable changes. And I'm glad that there's a reason for all my other symptoms and issues. But I keep spiraling on the internet, trying to figure out if there's a way to "fix" it. Which there's not, because that's not how autoimmune illnesses work. You don't just take a pill and move on. But I'm a fixer and a doer by nature, so it's a weird struggle to come to terms with it.

[mommyatty]

A FFC: I think we need MUCH stricter rules around use of the term “service dog”. All the time, I see people at airports with a frigging vest on their pet so they can take their dog on the plane without paying or being subject to rules. Yesterday it was two people together with two very, very old Labs who were licking everyone in the security line. I’m sorry, but unless your dog went to special training, and is certified by a national organization to perform certain tasks related to helping you with a disability, you have a pet. Not a “service dog”. And we should fine the everloving shit out of anyone who fakes it.

[mae0111]

Thanks all. I have consulted an attorney. He is reviewing the settlement offer, and will revert back. He said that we could go 1 of 3 ways - take the offer, file an individual suit, or file a class action. I don't know how class actions work - I assumed on contingency, since splitting legal fees across a class would be impossible.

Seems like #2 is really off the table. So if he thinks a class action is feasible, it's then really up to me to determine if I want to pursue it.

[mustardseed2007]

mommyatty, for travel those are probably emotional support animals, not service dogs. You need very little to get that designation, and I absolutely agree with you that it's a highly abused system! All you need is a doctors note to turn any pet into an emotional support animal.

Service Animals are a different category all together and are much more regulated.

[mustardseed2007]

I've posted before about getting both my kids looked at for extreme short stature. Well, my daughter was most recently given a genetic test (mainly looking for Turner Syndrome but other things also) and it found she has a "interstitial duplication of approximately 2.3 Mb in the short arm of chromosome 11."

It's associated with is Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome, which usually presents with kids having excess growth not short stature! It's also associated with developmental delays, learning disorders, higher risk of cancer (source: google of course).

The endocrinologist told me she is totally stumped and doesn't really know what it means b/c my kid clearly doesn't have the normal growth issues associated with Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome. She is sending me back to a geneticist to find out what the deal is. So basically twiddling my thumbs waiting.

Also, we had kind of gone back to deciding DS should go to this private school we found. His therapist likes it also and says it's a better fit for him than public school and also better fit than where he is. I like the school, but I'm nervous about the monetary commitment. I don't know. I was hoping when I visited it would grab me and I'd feel like I needed to send him there, but that's not how I feel. I still feel anxious about it.

Basically I'm generally anxious about both kids now. Which is really irritating, especially about DD b/c I thought she was my easy one.

[katrine05]

mustardseed2007 I've caught snippets of your kids story re: short stature. How short is your DD (and how old?).

[mustardseed2007]

katrine05, she is 3, she'll be 4 in March. was 34.3 inches at her last endo appointment, which puts her in the .27 percentile for her age on the CDC growth curve (.08 for the WHO growth curve). She actually grew just over an inch between her appointment in July and her appointment in November, which is a huge jump in growth velocity for her, but her height it obviously still waaaaay below average.

[waverly]

Hugs mustardseed2007 That is a lot to take in.

[mommyatty]

Nov 30, 2017 16:42:00 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

mommyatty, for travel those are probably emotional support animals, not service dogs. You need very little to get that designation, and I absolutely agree with you that it's a highly abused system! All you need is a doctors note to turn any pet into an emotional support animal.

Service Animals are a different category all together and are much more regulated.

The real name for “emotional support animal” is “pet.”

[akafred]

Nov 30, 2017 19:29:56 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Nov 30, 2017 16:42:00 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

mommyatty, for travel those are probably emotional support animals, not service dogs. You need very little to get that designation, and I absolutely agree with you that it's a highly abused system! All you need is a doctors note to turn any pet into an emotional support animal.

Service Animals are a different category all together and are much more regulated.

The real name for “emotional support animal” is “entitled pet.”

FTFY

[rere]

Ds is back to school and in his bed. We leave the icicle Christmas lights on outside his room which he requested.

Random. Kids are our of school tomorrow due to a water main break? Boil water advisory here until at least Sunday. Yay. At least tomorrow is my service field trip with my class ( a county over). We are wrapping presents for children who are in need for Christmas and eating pizza, so it should br a good day. Dh is off so he can entertain ours on this unexpected day.

[rere]

mustardseed2007 How was that tested? My ds is in the 2% in growth. We have done the bone scan and blood test, but nothing out of the ordinary came up with either.

[2chatter]

With a child who was bitten in the face by a dog who legit has a fear, “emotional support” animals make me ragey.

mustardseed2007 - I hope they have answers for you! I dread DD’s we’ll check every year because we put off tests (she’s under the growth chart) - but the upside of knowing might be nice.

[librarychica]

That’s a lot to take in mustardseed2007.

I am training another new person. She is ... intense. She seems to need constant hand-holding and encouragement and validation. I thought needing coddling was my job as the office millennial? 😉

The good news is that we are staffed again and I think she will do a good job once she settles in, which means I can return to part time in January! It’s more hours than I initially negotiated when I started the PT thing over the summer, but I don’t mind. I think it will be a good schedule for work and me. Kismet.

Also, I think I hate Girl Scouts and wish I had never volunteered for this. Please let my child not want to sign up again next year. If she does, I am flat refusing to meet as late in the evening as we currently do. Everyone is a mess by then. The kids, me, everyone.

[judyblume14]

I forgot to tell you ladies... chicken reiki happened! After rescheduling 3 times, I finally had my appointment.

I guess they don't have a lot of people booking reiki appointments, because when the massage therapist / reiki lady came into the room, she asked what kind of massage I was looking for. I had specifically booked "reiki." Anyway, I feel like even SHE doesn't believe the claims about reiki because she warned me that some people reel a deep sense of relaxation, some feel tingly sensations, and others feel nothing at all.

We decided the first 30 minutes would be reiki, the second half of the hour would be a regular massage.

It was relaxing. I just laid there, concentrated on slowing my breathing, trying to exhale all of the stupid stress I've been feeling, and thought happy thoughts while she... touched me? I don't know how to describe it. I dozed off for a bit. She held my head in her hands and put pressure on different places on my skull... rested her hands on my shoulders, arms, legs, feet, whatever. And then the massage was just lovely.

I suppose I feel neutral to positive about the reiki experience. I was hoping for it to cleanse my soul/aura/self of all stress and tension. And I wanted to feel some damn transfer of energy. Neither happened.

Of course, I did book my next massage with the same woman, and I will ask h.r to reiki me again for the first half.

reiki.

[judyblume14]

Other updates.

Work is good, busy (though it's annoyingly keeping me from dicking around on the internet). Still really like my new boss. Still working though job profiles and skills grids to find my calling or whatever.

My H put up our outside lights this week. Doesn't like them. Had me buy a different kind of lights at WalMart this morning. And he's "just going to swap them out this weekend." Which means I will solo parent all weekend while he does lights tomorrow and goes to the football game on Sunday.

FFC - we're having a rough time with 3yo DD and not following directions lately, especially at bedtime. She was so bad Wednesday night, my husband and I each (independently) considered putting her in the basement because we'd exhausted all other ideas of how to get her to calm the fuck down. We tried speaking calmly, we tried ignoring, we tried screaming. We took away the tent on her bed, took away every stuffed animal, cleared all toys out of her room. Tried standing firm and not giving into her stalling tactics. Then we gave in to her stalling tactics. She continued acting like a damn fool. Anyway, the confession is wanting to lock my 3yo in a basement because we don't know how to parent.

supertrooper1, I'm really sorry about all of the loss in you mom's family. Especially during the holidays. It's rough.

[erinshelley21]

mustardseed2007, I hope you're able to get some answers for your kiddos soon. That all sounds stressful!
supertrooper1, I'm so sorry for all of the loss you're experiencing right now. That's not fair.

Last December my brother and I came to an agreement with my dad's business partner that if he purchased the building he is operating out of for the payoff on the loan, we would sign over our share of his business. Almost 12 months later, we are closing today. This is property #5 that we've sold since March 2015. Unloaded is probably a more appropriate term since we've only seen a profit on 2 of them and the loss from the commercial building we sold 2.5 years ago was so large we are still carrying it on our taxes.

DH's fire department is becoming even more of a stressor for him. He is in charge of training and sets the trainings that are required. No one does them. And because no one does them, the state just lowered their ISO rating. He's done his job but it doesn't look like it when his department doesn't do what they are supposed to do. The crappy part is the pay is really good. The health insurance is really good. The work is slow and all but I think 3 of his coworkers are lazy asses. There's a department about 20 minutes south that might be opening a process next year and pays so much more that the almost hour drive to work would be more than worth it. They aren't necessarily any busier, but probably not as old and close to retirement like this one. There is one north of us that would be a big pay cut for the first year, but would go up to about where he is now after his first year, he would actually get to fight fire and work with his best friend. So, we both might be changing jobs next year and that's got me feeling some kind of way lol. The good news is if he needs to take a pay cut next year is the time to do it since I'll be receiving money from my buyout, our office hopefully selling, and my brother buying my half of his house. He is such a hard worker and I hate seeing him so down about it.

As for me, I'm still really enjoying feeling like a normal, functioning human after being back on adderall. I've had to remind myself that it doesn't make me perfect since I'm still a bit scattered, but not any more than a full time working mom with 2 kids under the age of 4 and an H that is gone days every week on a rotating basis. Next week I'll get to start weaning from the zoloft and I'm pretty excited about that. I had no idea until my new dr told me that it can lead to weight gain, which is just a shitty side effect for an antidepressant and pretty counterproductive lol. It also doesn't do me any favors during the MOTN wake ups from the baby since I take it before bed.

That ended up being a lot but not anything major. Sorry

[erinshelley21]

judyblume14, your night sounds similar to ours on Monday. It was exhausting and not one of my better nights as a parent. The Elf has returned and I'm hoping he helps for at least December. I need a break from the whining, crying and arguing.

[meagain]

Still working 2 jobs and seems to be the only thing I can talk about because I am so tired.

Was able to go to the Dr. and get my Lexapro refilled since I have insurance again.

Back to eating better and going to work out.

We had a good trip to San Antonio. Lots of driving but it was fun.

I am so excited for Christmas. I just wish I could enjoy this season more with my family. I have the house decorated but I haven't been able to sit around and enjoy it because I am always working (see I told you). We are planning to back cookies this Sunday. Maybe some pumpkin roll.

[waverly]

Dec 1, 2017 9:15:01 GMT -5 judyblume14 said:

I forgot to tell you ladies... chicken reiki happened! After rescheduling 3 times, I finally had my appointment.

I guess they don't have a lot of people booking reiki appointments, because when the massage therapist / reiki lady came into the room, she asked what kind of massage I was looking for. I had specifically booked "reiki." Anyway, I feel like even SHE doesn't believe the claims about reiki because she warned me that some people reel a deep sense of relaxation, some feel tingly sensations, and others feel nothing at all.

We decided the first 30 minutes would be reiki, the second half of the hour would be a regular massage.

It was relaxing. I just laid there, concentrated on slowing my breathing, trying to exhale all of the stupid stress I've been feeling, and thought happy thoughts while she... touched me? I don't know how to describe it. I dozed off for a bit. She held my head in her hands and put pressure on different places on my skull... rested her hands on my shoulders, arms, legs, feet, whatever. And then the massage was just lovely.

I suppose I feel neutral to positive about the reiki experience. I was hoping for it to cleanse my soul/aura/self of all stress and tension. And I wanted to feel some damn transfer of energy. Neither happened.

Of course, I did book my next massage with the same woman, and I will ask h.r to reiki me again for the first half.

reiki.

So where did the chicken come into play? Rubber chicken that participates in the massage? lol

[twinmomma]

My company Christmas party is tonight. It's so not my scene - think stereotypical party with lots of drinking and potential for people to make bad decisions. I feel obligated to attend since I'm a manager and my small team is attending. But I'm so not looking forward to it. I will not get up and dance, so it'll just be a lot of sitting around making small talk. Last year we bailed immediately after dinner because DH didn't line up a babysitter for the right time frame. I'm kind of hoping we can bail this year too instead of just dragging on the awkwardness. Ugh.