Help me think through some school options

[kimberlybb]

DD will be in kindergarten next year. I was sure she would attend our neighborhood school but have been feeling really conflicted about it the closer it gets to registration. Please help me think through a few school options because DH has not offered any constructive advice.

Option 1: Enter the lottery for the Montessori magnet program which is offered k-6th grade. They also have a pre-k program that DS could potentially attend. The program is great but the school is nowhere near where we live. I would have to adjust my work hours and it would be a lot more driving but worth it in my opinion. This is probably my first choice as of now but I won’t know if she got in till April.
Option 2: She could attend our neighborhood school that she could walk to in a few years. The facilities are great but the school is very test heavy even in kindergarten. Due to district budget cuts the kids have very limited art, music, and PE time but it is literally two minutes from our house.
Option 3: Private school. There is a school I’ve been looking at (k-6th grade) that has a great curriculum that they can individualize to your child due to small class sizes. They also have a pre-k program where DS could attend. It is reasonably priced for private school but would still be a lot of $$ and is also nowhere near our house.

What would working parents do? I’m in and out of meetings today so this may be a post and run but would love your input. Thanks!

[k3am]

We're facing our own kindergarten conundrum. I would nix option 1. Spending all my time carting my kids to school is not an option. I also have no desire to use my flexibility flexing working hours when I'm sure I have better places to use that flexibility. Add into the fact that none of my kid's friends would be in the nearby area, it's just something I'd prefer to avoid.

I"m not sure where'd I'd fall between option 2 and 3, but if it were my decision, at least the choices were narrowed down.

[mustardseed2007]

OMG this is my life right now! With the exception that the montessori school we are in is also private.

Based on what we're thinking through I'll give you some things to think about:

Option 1:
Have you visited the montessori school? Are you certain your kid's learning style would be a fit? I love Montessori, but I ask b/c it has been hard for our son who is now getting tutoring (in kinder) b/c he is way behind on letters. He was stuck b/c he couldn't figure out the way they were trying to teach. My daughter, age 3 on the other hand, is already working on letters b/c that's her strength.
Basically I've found that I really have to be on top of what they are doing in class; since it's so individualized it's hard to tell right off the bat if your kid is behind and it can be difficult (in our school) if you're kid doesn't respond well to the way the lessons are presented b/c the teaching style is regimented in a way that other schools are not.
On the other hand, if an adjustment is needed for your child, as long as the school is willing to allow it, it's easy to incorporate individual support b/c everyone is doing their own thing anyway.
Also, I would drive for the right school as long as I could realistically make it work.

Option 2:
We are also zoned to, frankly, a very well thought of public school. I'm not a huge fan of the culture and the testing. Also, although it's good, the classes sizes are large (25 kids, 1 teacher in kinder). Learning support is free, but is better and more available in older grades, which is annoying.

Also, being a part of the neighborhood school gives you a connection to the community. Since we are leaning towards private school, my biggest angst has been thinking about how we are going to have connection to the many kids in our neighborhood since 99% of them go to that school and are friends from there. We already saw it in soccer, ALL those kids knew each other and my son started as the outsider. My son loved it anyway, but I think as he gets older, it's going to be harder, not easier.

Option 3:
Traditional Private school with small class sizes. This is where we are leaning. The kids will get individualized attention. We can pay out of pocket for tutoring, but it will continue to be at our expense. But hopefully we will eventually be able to forgo tutoring b/c the school will be able to support the kids better. Not gonna lie, paying for tutoring on top of private school tuition is $$$. Our current tutor is 65 dollars per hour and we see her 3x per week. It's expensive. But I think my daughter, who doesn't have a learning difference as far as we know, will do well there.
There will be a community unto the school that we will be a part of...although it's a smaller one b/c, obviously, smaller school, smaller class sizes.

Cost of tuition is also a factor. We can afford it now. But if I lost my job, we'd be in trouble. We are boosting our safety net this next year to try to accommodate for the increased risk we are taking on since I would prefer to not start the kids in a warm, accommodating environment and then have to pull them b/c something happens.

[erinshelley21]

Does the private school have a good amount of art, music and PE? And how far is the private school?

[sandandsea]

I’d go for number 2 unless money and travel time are not issues. I hate the idea of spending money on private schools when there are safe public schools available and when college looms ahead unpaid for. College is more important than elementary school IMO so unless that’s funded I would put the money there.

[supertrooper1]

Option 2. The testing would not bother me. Art, music and PE can be made up at home or with extracurricular activities.

[xctsclrx]

number 1 would not be an option for me. Right now I work 15 minutes from my house but when I do DC drop off and pick up it is a one hour commute. NOT WORTH IT. We are doing this until baby 2 gets here and hopefully there will be openings at a DC that is five min from where I work and on the way home from DC. I will say if the school is close to where you work it might be okay. Also, I went to Montessori growing up and despised it. (my own experience not everyone's)

2. ouch. I hate that there is so much focus on testing in Kindergarten. I know at the school my child is slotted they only get recess and PE a few times a week, but the teachers themselves make it more activity focused instead of sit down focus. While learning numbers they hop or do jumping jacks. Stuff like that. I might at least ask to speak to some of the teachers about some of your concerns. It might make you feel better.

3. once again driving kids around is not how I want to spend my time, but if it close to your work it might be worth it. Can your budget handle it? I am sure one drop off would be nice too.

[waverly]

We always knew we wanted public school, so we moved to an area where the public schools are good. 5 minutes from the house, and offers art, library, music weekly and PE daily which is awesome. They do standardized testing 3 times a year, but I believe it is only 2 hours each time so 6 hours total all year. Not terrible not ideal. I do like their special needs support system for DS (free audiology testing and FM system and free speech therapy).

I was more conflicted at the preschool level. I ruled out Montessori based on the ages of my kids because they would be at two different schools. And because of the 3 year cycle. And my kid would have only been in 1-2 years before transitioning to public. There would have been a transition to public anyway because it was only until 8th grade, and the online reviews said that when some of them moved to other schools they were behind. I like the idea of the Montessori schools though.

Our only local private school is Catholic, and very small. Our neighbors chose that, and it worked for them until about 4th grade when there was a poor teacher, and no options because there is only one class per school. So they had to transition to public at that age as well. And they would have had to anyway because it also only goes to 8th grade.

I do know one family where the girl went to private Catholic and then private Catholic high school, but the high school was a 40 minute commute for her to drive and her siblings chose to stay with the public high school.

We may have considered a private school if it was pre-school-12th grade and not affiliated with a religion, and public schools didn't work out. Keep in mind that the school itself while having impact there is no clear cut public versus private indicator of success. Instead the indicator of success is parental involvement.

[twinmomma]

We're in public school and the kids get each "special" once a week - music, art, PE, library, guidance. So on the surface, it doesn't seem like much. But it's not like that's the only exposure to those areas they get all week long. Their teachers do a ton of "movement breaks" during the day that could be short yoga routines, dance parties, jumping jacks, etc. That happens daily. They also sing songs or do music stuff in class, work on art projects in their classrooms, etc. They just have the specialized teacher time once a week. I'd try to get a better feel for what day to day is like for the kids before deciding.

And honestly, unfortunately, I think standardized testing is just a crappy norm that we have to deal with in any public school nowadays. DH and I aren't fans at all (DH teaches at an arts charter school, for goodness sake!) but our elementary school does a great job of balancing that with evaluating students based on their work and standards, rather than pass/fail or letter grades. There are no letter grades K-5 in our district.

[kimberlybb]

Thanks for all your responses! k3am , I am worried about the extra driving and totally agree that there are better things I could be doing with that time. Options 1 and 3 are about the same distance but #1 is more on my way to work. mustardseed2007 ,good points! I haven’t visited the school but have been to another Montessori program. I really like self-paced aspect of both Montessori and the private school. Academically, I think DD will be ahead of most of her peers since she has a July birthday and could have gone to kindergarten this year. I am a little worried about her being bored in our neighborhood school especially with the constant testing. erinshelley21 , the private school offers a lot more in terms of art, music, and PE time. sandandsea , money is a bigger factor than time. It is a lot of $$ to spend and would limit our college savings contributions. Also, I totally realize I could have unrealistic expectations about public school. Maybe large class size, daily testing, and limited time for enrichment activities is a thing everywhere? xctsclrx, I have only spoken to the principle but I like the idea of talking to teachers.

[erinshelley21]

I would go with option 2 then. If it's not a good fit then she can always enroll in the private school later on.

[waverly]

kimberlybb , I would look into the boredom issue by checking with the schools' curriculum. Our public school said they do differentiated learning, and I was like really because I don't see it. But I am starting to see it- higher level books for DS came home in K. In first grade, they have reading groups by levels, not for the other subjects though. Math tests are by the kids level. They have to pass on to move on, so each kid has a different test each week in math. Spelling words are starting to be differentiated, although actually I think the first ones they sent were too easy for him, but anyway each kid has a different spelling list now.

Our class size is 24, but I am used to those class sizes. I don't think limited enrichment is everywhere. I do think testing is likely everywhere in public schools.

And just because they do art once a week doesn't mean they don't do crafts in the classroom as well.

[ilovelucyvv]

I am also facing this! DH was hardcore team public school, so I hadn't given anything else much thought. Recently one of our coworkers identified this lottery system charter-ish school that he is suddenly really interested in, but it doesn't begin until first grade. And all of a sudden he wants to consider private school too. It totally took me by surprise as I already concluded in my head that she was going to go to the public school. I told him that I would think about it and get back to him. I went to private school K-12 but I am not sure if that is where I want to spend the money with my own children.

[welly01]

I won't be very much help because I'm also facing the same dilemma. I'm a big fan of convenience, so be honest/realistic with yourself about how the extra driving will affect your family. Is DH at least on board with the additional driving? Even if you do most drop-offs/pick-ups there WILL be days when he has to help out.

Have you considered what you will do for school for 7th grade and beyond? We looked at a local charter school that only goes to 8th grade. It slightly concerned me that the kids would have been in a small, private school-ish environment and then be thrown into a huge public middle school. We are probably going to go with a private school that goes through high school. On the other hand, our pediatrician's kids attended private school through 8th grade and her oldest is thriving in public high school. She says there hasn't been an issue with that transition. It's just something to consider.

Also, the private school we're looking at still requires testing. It's not as intensive and it does not affect the student's ability to pass a grade but they do still test.

Good luck with your decision. I'm finding the decision of which kindergarten/school to be absolutely agonizing.

[mustardseed2007]

+1 that the private school we are looking at still does testing although it's not required to pass and is not part of the grade. It's used as a generalized check in to see that the material is reaching the students.

[2chatter]

We have done all three. I vote two - we are on year 5 of that solution.

Reasons:
Driving kids to school blows. It especially blows when one is sick and the other is not. What do you do with the sick one? Puking is especially unfun. Also, train wreck if you are sick. I vomited into a grocery bag while in freeway traffic. Never again.

Community. I can’t say enough about this. You won’t only be driving to school - school friends lived up to an hour and a half from us - the closest friends were 25 minutes. It was really hard for the kids to be social outside of school. Sports where totally random people, play dates were minimal and I didn’t have a “Village”. Now, there’s nothing I can’t get covered. Last time I was sick school related friends brought food at drop off and pick up because DH was out of town. Invaluable.

It all evens out. Do you know where all your colleagues went to college? What about high school and how the schools were rated? As long as your local schools are solid, embrace them. I for one went to a private university - and it isn’t worth more than the state universities that aren’t especially well reputed in the end. The biggest predictors of your child’s success continue to be home environment, income and the amount you read with them.

[mommyatty]

We chose private school, but the school is a 7 minute drive from our house. 8 minutes on a bad day.

There were a number of factors for us.

1. Texas public schools don’t teach real science. Or history now.
2. My BFF was a public school elementary teacher. And while testing only happens officially a couple of times a year, they spent time on test prep every single day. And their lesson plans had to specify how every single lesson would increase student performance on the test. Nope. Nope nope nope nope. Plus she just pulled her own kid out of public school (the one my kids would attend, which is rated a 10 on Great Schools) because he wasn’t learning. He was behind almost 3 grade levels in reading, and he’s in 3rd grade. This academic year homeschooling, he’s already almost at grade level. In 4 months he’s progressed that much.
3. We don’t want our kids taught religion at school. It’s pernicious in Texas public schools. Want to play varsity baseball? Not if you aren’t a member of Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Which happens to be run by your third base coach. Want to be in the school play? Be prepared for the whole cast to hold hands and pray before every performance. And that prayer isn’t going to be nondenominational. It’s going to be “in Jesus’ name”.
4. Recess. Public school kids in our district get 15 minutes after lunch. That’s it. What a crock. At our school, up until 5th grade, kids are moving and outside at least an hour a day, weather permitting. Often more if the weather is really nice.
5. Facilities. In addition to great playgrounds, our school has robotics labs, art facilities that are beautiful and extensive, a library that rivals a small college’s, and classrooms with large windows.
6. Common Core. It makes no sense to me. Especially how they teach reading. We went with a school that offers traditional phonics and sight words. Her school teaches math fluency, but not the Common Core way.

If we lived in a Blue State outside the Bible Belt with really great public schools, we would go that route. But my job is here, so I’m glad it offers me enough money to pay the tuition.

[2chatter]

mommyatty - wow! Your area sounds super conservative! We have none of that here - but Christianity is probably not the clearly dominant religion in our area.

And the academic stuff is different too - phonics and sight words are in full play. Recess is 30 minutes minimum, plus gym
classes, art and music programs. Every morning the nurse walks the kids around the school - if they want to - so they can run around before classes start. Classrooms have flexible seating - everything from busy bands to ball chairs, wobble seats and standing desks.

[akafred]

Are you in Nashville? I'm thinking you may be. If so, apply for Stanford but you won't get in. We lived in the preferred area and we were third on the wait list for 3 year olds. There are almost no spots for K.

We chose private Montessori. It is right for DD's learning style and is great for her emotional health. We ended up putting her in one across town and moving 2 years later to be closer. We were super close to putting her in another magnet (Hermitage Elementary), but I backed out last minute, but mainly because of DD's needs. The school seemed pretty good. They are now in the Cambridge model which is interesting.

[waverly]

I will say in terms of transportation, I absolutely love that the bus gets DS, and I am counting down until next year when the bus will get DD too! Also, not sure what I will do in a few years, but with the bus they don't get home until 3:50 which I could potentially get home in time for every once in awhile. Plus hiring a babysitter would be easier if they could just meet them at the bus rather than have to have someone that is a good driver pick them up.

Ours follows common core, and they used phonics and sight words. 

[traveltheworld]

A few thoughts:

1. Have you done Montessori before? Like mustardseed2007 said, it works for some kids, but not all. DS was in a great Montessori program, but I know other kids who have struggled.

2. I would tour the public school and talk to the principal and lower-grade teachers if possible. Learning in the early years is so teacher-dependent. Ask specifically how they'd address the boredom issue.

3. Personally, I love neighbourhood schools. I grew up going to a magnet school and hated the fact that I could never hang out with my friends after school (both parents working, no one to drive me). And playing with school friends in general was just hard because we lived all over the city. So the other schools would need to be far superior before I'd give up the neighbourhood school.

[mustardseed2007]

Dec 5, 2017 11:57:35 GMT -5 2chatter said:

mommyatty - wow! Your area sounds super conservative! We have none of that here - but Christianity is probably not the clearly dominant religion in our area.

And the academic stuff is different too - phonics and sight words are in full play. Recess is 30 minutes minimum, plus gym
classes, art and music programs. Every morning the nurse walks the kids around the school - if they want to - so they can run around before classes start. Classrooms have flexible seating - everything from busy bands to ball chairs, wobble seats and standing desks.

Wow, I have never heard of that ever in our area, but that is cool. Not so much b/c I need my kid to have flexible seating, but because to me it's a sign of being student centric in a way that is really supportive. 

I'm in Texas and in a pretty conservative area. I would say it is churchy, but to me it's not that pervasive. But then again I'm christian so I might not notice some things. However, my niece just graduated from high school and is a lesbian. She faced discrimination from a couple of the parents, but not with the kids and not with the administration. BUT it is true that books are approved by law makers and that process is a joke.

The lack of village is weighing on me though. But then again...I don't know for sure if we'd really get that much out of it.

[xctsclrx]

mommyatty, I am curious about where you are. I graduated from a public Texas school and the most annoying thing was that they wanted us to recite the Texas pledge in school. I ran varsity track and cross country and no one had to part of any christian club. They did not pray before games or before performances.

[186momx]

I would ask to be able to observe each school without your DD with. I would try to sit in on a K class, 1st and 2nd grade classes to see what goes on. I recently sat in on DD's math lesson and was shocked at how active the class was during the hour I was there. They did group review/lesson, a short 10 minute test (3 word problems), then they did stations and rotated every 7 minutes. I was really amazed. DD's 1st grade class is huge but they were able to do both small group for reading & math lessons so the class is 15 or so vs 35. They also do level reading at another time with groups of 5 kids. She has music and PE twice a week, computers and library once and the teachers do art mixed in with reading/science/math lessons.

I choose #2 in my situation and have questioned myself hugely. DD had a really bad K teacher and last year went horribly bad. This year her 1st grade teacher is awesome and DD is doing way better so I know it was the teacher and not the school. I would have loved to send her to private or a charter school but we can't afford it or the drive to the charters are way out of our way.

[mommyatty]

I’m in the southwest portion of the DFW metroplex. DH and I both attended the public school district our kids would go to. In 6th grade, my principal would get on the school-wide intercom to talk about how when we do something good, it gives us ‘warm fuzzies” and when we do something bad it gives us “cold pricklies” and how when we feel the “warm fuzzies” we should know that we are doing something Jesus would want us to do but the “cold pricklies” came from doing Satan’s bidding. When we discussed evolution, back when Texas was still teaching science, our teacher started the lesson by explaining how everything she was about to say was bullshit because it didn’t comport with the Bible. My parents put me in Catholic School from 7-12, and there was far less religion there. DH was in the district from 9-12 grades, and as a basketball player he was informed by his team captain that FCA was a bonding experience and refusing to join was refusing to be part of the team. He refused to join, and the next year he was cut though his stats were excellent. The reason? He failed to “gel” with the team off-court. His coach was a leader in FCA. And still coaches at that high school.

The mom of a girl who switched from DD’s school to public school in kindergarten told me they were comfortable with public school because she knew her daughter would get a “good moral foundation” there. On FB she “likes” a lot of posts by her daughter’s teacher about prayer in school and other religious topics. It’s appalling. I’m firmly in Trump country. Lots of “ignorant and proud of it” folks here.

As far as community goes, most of the kids in our kids’ school live nearby. Not in our neighborhood, but close enough that we all play sports together and see each other at Target. In fact, DH saw 2 moms of kids in DD’s class at Target yesterday. And a third mom at Starbucks. I realize that’s unusual. In my catholic HS, all my friends lived far from me. We got lucky.

[katrine05]

I had this dilemma last year. Moving this summer threw an extra wrench in it.

I went to a French Catholic school from K-9. My family is french, and it was important for me for my kids to learn as well. At first we registered DD in a french immersion school, it was on my way to work, so I could drop off, or she could take the bus. In the spring we decided to sell our house and move 20 minutes outside the city. Still having to commute in for work. We decided to keep DS with the in home DCP that DD went to for 3 years, we love her, and she's the cheapest by far. If we were to move him to an in home closer to home, it would be $200+ minimum a month. Also found out about a French school close to our in-home. Sister school to the one I went to, I didn't realize they had opened another location. Bonus was that it is also full days whereas all the other schools have half day kindergarten, saving us a lot not having to pay for half-day daycare. So I drive them both every morning, about 30 minutes away, then 15 more to get to work. I shifted my hours to work 9-5 so that I can drop her off at the bell (saving us in before care cost). DH picks them both up in the afternoon since he works 530-130, he just needs to wait around for an hour. I can go straight home after work (35 min drive). The only bad part about the drive in the morning is that if I have the day off I still need to go into the city, and like 2chatter said, if one kid (or you) is sick, you still have to haul everyone out to bring the other one in.

As much as sending her to the community school would have been nice (it's within walking distance), having her learn French was my top priority. Hopefully we can still build good relationships with other families and kids in our community though other activities.

[sdlaura]

Dec 5, 2017 10:23:02 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

Option 2. The testing would not bother me. Art, music and PE can be made up at home or with extracurricular activities.

Same.  My DD is in K at the school on our street.  I don't love that it's test-heavy and they use iPads daily.  However, she is in aftercare and does art and sports that way.  It has been so great to walk to school everyday with all the neighbors and we love that she's making friends in our community.  On Sunday she went to a new friend's house a couple streets away to make gingerbread houses.  I'm glad we don't have to drive far for her to do stuff with her new friends.  Plus we're so close for all the events like book fairs, fundraisers, school carnival, etc.

[freezorburn]

We explored private options in our area because we were worried about class sizes in our neighborhood school. Only applied to one and did not get in.

So DS is in neighborhood school, which actually has worked out better than we expected. There are about 65 kids, three teachers, open classroom. The teachers use a team teaching model and they do a lot of breaking down into small groups.

Surprisingly DS is more comfortable in an environment with more kids, compared to the intimate setting of preschool. Maybe he doesn’t feel like he’s under a microscope? Maybe the numbers favor him being able to make a few friends? I don’t know. But after all my worry, it turned out to be a non-issue.

In our area there has been a lot of backlash against state mandated testing. I’ve heard of a lot of people opting out of testing. And it does seem that the district is making efforts to reduce time for tests.

Does your neighborhood school have an active PTA? Ours has been very helpful filling in gaps where the school lacks resources.

Another thing to ask about as you explore different schools — do they use any social-emotional curriculum? Our district uses RULER. All the kindergarteners have mood meters on their desks. There’s also a philosophy of a responsive classroom, that’s on the class blog. I’ve been very impressed with all of it.

[saraml13]

Dec 5, 2017 10:16:47 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

I’d go for number 2 unless money and travel time are not issues. I hate the idea of spending money on private schools when there are safe public schools available and when college looms ahead unpaid for. College is more important than elementary school IMO so unless that’s funded I would put the money there.

This. Less commuting time will save your sanity. You can use the time and money you save to do extra curriculars that are best suited for your DD.

[kimberlybb]

Thanks so much for all your feedback!! akafred , I’m in the Midwest but wish we lived somewhere warmer this time of year!  After talking through some of the points you all brought up with DH private school is off the table. After more number crunching we can’t do private school tuition and save what we need to for college. I think we are going to apply for the magnet program and see what happens this spring. I called to see if I can do an observation in the Montessori room and in our neighborhood school to get a better feel and am waiting to hear back. I also asked the Montessori program about resources for connecting with other school parents. If I could find someone to carpool with that would be huge. DH made it sound like I was a little crazy for "overthinking" this so I'm glad to see I'm not the only one struggling with school choice!