Post by traveltheworld on Dec 11, 2017 10:22:16 GMT -5
We had a good weekend up until last night when DH and I had a big fight. I was starting to tell him that I think I may need to see someone about my anxiety, and he blocked me off by saying that I seem to be doing fine, he sees no signs of my anxiety, and that I've always been a worry-wort. Then he tried to back-peddle and say that he was just trying to reassure me.
I don't really know what to do. I'm functional and generally content, but any little thing that involves DS makes me go a little crazy. He had this tiny (maybe the size of half a grain of rice) bump at the back of his head. It's probably just a skin irritation, but I spent over 2 hours Saturday night googling what it could be, thought of all possible doomsday scenarios, and hardly slept. That can't be normal, right? But it's just with DS. I don't worry about anything else nearly to the same degree.
I need a weekend to recover from my weekend. Saturday we went out to fancy dinner and the ballet for my birthday. The kids spent the night with Grandma. Sunday I spent some time making lollipop covers for the kids to give their classmates for Christmas. Plus we grocery shopped and went out for dinner and ice cream since Sunday was my actual birthday.
Sunday the kids were rough. Part was just extra time with Grandma, who doesn’t believe in rules or routines etc. So she forgot to have the kids use the bathroom before bed. Which means DS wet the bed for the first time in over a year. And he was adamant that she wash his pjs and underwear immediately, at 1am. So she did. And he slept half naked on the couch. DD woke up and came downstairs to see where everyone was. She slept on the floor. And said Grandma kept her awake most of the night because she snores. So they were both very tired and seriously grouchy.
Oh! And our elf came this weekend! The kids were so excited!
DD has decided she doesn't like school. There doesn't seem to be any real reason other than it's boring and "because everyone always wants to play with me."
Today she "had a stomach ache" that involved her lying in her room and crying hysterically until I came to get her. But she was fine to run down the hall, jump up and down, laugh when tickled, etc. I don't think she's really sick, so we sent her anyways, and by the time I left for work, she was acting normal already. But there's a teeny tiny part of me questioning the decision, because my mom used to hold to the "if you don't have a fever, and you haven't vomited or had diarrhea, you're going to school rule" and of 100% of the times I asked to stay home because of a stomach ache, it had messy repercussions.
I had a migraine on Friday night, woke up with another one yesterday, and now have one inching it's way back in today at work. If I take my prescription pill, it'll go away. But this sucks and is not the norm for me. I'm guessing that the nasty head cold I've had since Thanksgiving has something to do with it, so I might try to swing into urgent care on the way home. It doesn't feel like I have a sinus infection, but I can't figure out what to do to feel better.
Even with the headaches, we had a really good weekend. Event at school on Saturday was a ton of fun, the snow storm gave us just enough to be fun to play in on Sunday, and I started working on a wall hanging quilt that I'm giving my parents for a housewarming/Christmas gift for their new house.
My in laws are driving me crazy. Sil is recently diagnosed with cancer and starting chemo next week. We changed Christmas plans to fly to their house instead of ILs. You know....cancer, family emergency, they will need help, etc. well, ILs have now decided they’re not going because they will go later. What?!?! They could go twice but don’t want to spend their time that way. They’re retired. So now we are just seeing BIL and family which is more than fine by me but I’m so frustrated with ILs. I don’t get it. Cancer (and chemo) is a big trump card IMo. You just go and help.
To give your IL's the benefit of the doubt... coworker has been going through chemo for months now. Depending on if it's her on or off week, she doesn't want to see anyone or do anything beyond watching reruns of the Kardashians. Having people over, even if it's your family and they're there to help can still feel like work.
Maybe your inlaws are thinking along these lines? Or maybe they've talked to SIL? Or maybe they're just jerks.
Go see someone! Getting on AA meds was life-changing for me. I only wish i would have done it sooner. I promise you, you will not regret it. PM me if you have any questions!
I was functional, but the slightest thing would make me feel overwhelmed and like the world was coming to an end. I realized I needed help when I almost cancelled my daughter's birthday party a few days before because I was SO stressed out, though I couldn't even specifically tell you WHY I was so stressed. Plus my mind always jumped to the worst case scenario. DH and I have a date night? WHAT IF WE DIE IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND DESTROY OUR KIDS LIVES?!?! Seriously. I was insane. I'm so much happier now.
Post by justcheckingin73 on Dec 11, 2017 10:44:46 GMT -5
traveltheworld , my husband can be the same way. I’m not sure if he actually is trying to reassure me but it comes off as incredible dismissive.
I had a really great week last week. I was in London for our annual sales meeting and met so many new people and just had a really great time. The last night was our holiday party and obviously I did not think through the going home flight on Friday which left at 8:40 am. I had to leave my hotel around 5:30/6:00 am. I rolled back to my hotel room close to 4 am 😳 so I‘m fairly certain I was still drunk. Haven't done that in quite some time or maybe ever. The timing worked out since I got home at 12:30 and could nap a bit before picking up DS.
Saturday was my dentist appt (again, with my timing - need to think that through next time), grocery shopping, an event at DSs school, church and then we went out to dinner. Sunday was a short run, some errands, DDs basketball game and then making blankets for DD’s religious ed service project.
On a side note, I bought DS some new shoes and he wears a 5 1/2 in kids - at age 7! They are equivalent to a 7 1/2 in women’s so they actually fit me. Hopefully the growth slows a bit for him - I bought him an entire new wardrobe this year.
Post by supertrooper1 on Dec 11, 2017 10:47:07 GMT -5
traveltheworld , go talk to someone. Just because your H thinks you have it together on the outside, it's your gut that is telling you to talk to someone. My counselor said people usually wait too long to talk to someone. I know I waited too long.
Great weekend, except I am scared to weigh due to the numerous appetizers and oreo balls I ate. I got all of my candy made and gave some to my employees and boss today.
Small vent. Dd and another friend were excluded from a bday party Friday. Her BFF asked 2 cousins, her boyfriend and his friend to laser tag. They all rode the bus to her house which is 2 doors down, so Dd had to ride with them. Maybe I am old school, but isn't 7th grade a little young to get blown off for a boyfriend. I don’t remember that until high school. Plus the BFF is in 6th. I'm having a hard time holding in my opinion. She was fine because she and the other girl had a sleepover, so she had something to do.
The Santa appointment thing was fabulous. I baked 9 dozen cookies for an exchange in our neighborhood. Our elf delivered a nativity the kids will build. I have a couple hours OOO for a volunteer activity and my boss said I don’t have to make them up. Today is a good day!!
Vent: DD needs 11-12 hours of sleep. Always has. She isn’t outgrowing it at 10. She got 6 hours at exh’s and was a TRAINWRECK at bed time. I yelled in her face after an hour of hysterics. It was awful but she settled down and went to bed.
Before that we had a great evening - a dinner date just she and I then we decorated my mom’s condo for Christmas. Bedtime was unreal.
traveltheworld, I would go and see someone. If you think that you are struggling, then it is worth it. There is a difference between surviving and enjoying life.
The weekend was good, we got a tree and put it up, both kids actually helped decorate it. At the tree farm there was a giant light up nativity, DD (2) went over to look at it, picked up the baby Jesus (who wasn't attached to the bed), and gave him a snuggle. It was incredibly cute.
Feeling a little overwhelmed with the end of the semester (buried in grading), Christmas, and DD's third birthday (on the 31st). But such is life.
Celebrate. Both my service projects are complete for this semester! I always anticipate train wrecks but 99% of the time, teenagers suprise me in a good way. Now we will just have our Christmas parties this week to celebrate their work.
Post by covergirl82 on Dec 11, 2017 12:09:01 GMT -5
traveltheworld, I agree that you should see a counselor/therapist if you think it would help. I'm kind of baffled by YH's response. Why wouldn't he support you if you express a desire/need to see someone about your anxiety?
My weekend was pretty good, but busy. We were gone pretty much all day on Saturday. Sunday we had church, then went to a neighbor's house for a get-together, then the kids each had a friend over until we had to leave for our church small group. I'm happy to be working from home today - it's nice to work in peace and quiet today.
I am over the Elf on the Shelf. I feel like the kids' behavior hasn't improved. The elf might need to deliver a letter from Santa threatening to put them on the naughty list.
Funny random: DH's aunt and uncle go to the same church as us. One of DH's oldest friends is having major surgery in another city (14 hours away by car) in January, so DH's aunt mentioned that DH's cousin's wife had suggested we collect money for the friend's wife to get some meals while she's with her H. DH's aunt mentioned a few times that DH should also contact his friend's stepsister to see if they want to do a similar thing. DH kept saying, "no, let [cousin's wife] contact her." Finally, I stepped in to same, "No, I really don't think H should contact [stepsister]. I wouldn't like that very much, and probably neither would [stepsister's] husband." DH's aunt finally remember that the stepsister was one of DH's long-term exGFs and was like, "oh, sorry, you're right, I'll ask [cousin's wife] to contact [stepsister]." (As a note, it was not an amicable break up - this exGF had cheated on DH, and DH and I have a "no contact" agreement when it comes to exes.)
Good weekend here. Saturday my mom came over and we took the kids to a craft market, the used bookstore in town, and grabbed lunch at the new Ukrainian kitchen that just opened. DH dealt with bedtime and the first half the night with DS since I was beat and the kids wouldn't settle down. I went to bed at 830.
Yesterday I dropped DD off at a birthday party and went to the mall with DS to return something and picked up a few more gifts for the kids. Went grocery shopping then picked DD up. Went in a chatted with the mom, turns out we went to school together for 1 year in grade 5. We were in different classes though so really didn't remember each other. She's good friends with a couple that I know, such a small world.
I'm off work today (using up my last few vacation days). Dropped the kids off, came home, make some cookie dough, cleaned the kitchen, went to town to drop the truck off for some work, walked home (took 11 minutes, small town living at it's best), no back to the kitchen to make more cookies, muffins, chili, and we'll see what else.
I need to lay out all the kids gifts to see what I have. I've been buying everything online and things just keep showing up. I can't actually remember what I bought!
Post by mustardseed2007 on Dec 11, 2017 12:40:31 GMT -5
It was a pretty darn good weekend. Saturday we had DS' birthday party. Unfortunately it was at 4:30 pm so he basically spent the whole day asking if it was 4:30 yet. But he had a blast playing with his little best friend as well as all the other kids who came, I was so glad! The only downside was with it being a glow party...it was kind of hard to see him having a good time. I know that doesn't really matter, whenever I did identify him he was running around like a crazy happy kid. But you know...I apparently kind of like to watch my kids enjoy themselves.
We also identified the land speeder on Saturday and then that night DH went back and bought it. Apparently they aren't assembling stuff until after Christmas. DH is confident he can build it so...good luck with that DH.
Sunday was also awesome. I had my last triathlon of the season and it was thrilling b/c it was so cold. And to top it off I got FIRST PLACE in my age group. That has never happened so it was a great way to end the season.
When I got home we made a gingerbread house with minions and runts using a cute kit I found at the grocery store. I love doing stuff like that.
my boss is gone today and things are super slow. I may take an hour and run to target to see if I can buy DD some presents. I can't believe christmas is in 2 weeks. I'm SERIOUSLY behind. Ugh.
To give your IL's the benefit of the doubt... coworker has been going through chemo for months now. Depending on if it's her on or off week, she doesn't want to see anyone or do anything beyond watching reruns of the Kardashians. Having people over, even if it's your family and they're there to help can still feel like work.
Maybe your inlaws are thinking along these lines? Or maybe they've talked to SIL? Or maybe they're just jerks.
BIL and Sil said they want everyone to come and are accepting all help. She cried on the phone asking for help, knowing what lies ahead. ILs just want things done on their schedule and terms so this doesn’t fit within their parameters so they’re out.
Man, I was really hoping it wasn't that. Hopefully, your SIL is feeling well enough to enjoy the holiday with those of you that do make it and realizes they're being awful people.
k3am, My DD didn't want to go to school today either. She cried and just kept telling me she wanted to go back to bed. I sent her anyways and she seemed better by the time I dropped her off at before care.
I'm done with the cold, icy, freezing fog! Waking up to everything covered in icy and fog so thick you can't see the neighbor's house for over a week is driving me crazy. Plus it is making my PTSD from the accident last December ramp up big time. I cancelled our weekend plans because of the icy roads and cold temps. But really who wants to tromp around the zoo in freezing temps even the animals get pulled off because it is too cold so it would just be for the lights.
Well, I just killed productivity for my team inadvertently. Whoops. I wanted to stage an awesome photo shoot of all our charity donation stuff. The photos came out sweet! But then it took us like an hour to put it all back together after I made my awesome pile of donations.
Post by traveltheworld on Dec 11, 2017 16:33:30 GMT -5
Well, DH just wrote me a 2 page email apologizing for his behaviour last night; which got me all emotional and therefore less than useless for the past 2 hours. My employer offers this on-line counseling thing, so I set it up and sent in a summary request.
Weekend was better than I thought it would be. DD1 had basketball on Saturday, and she really seems to be enjoying it. It's so much nicer to watch than soccer, which she really doesn't like, and just plays because her friends play. She tried and hustled so hard that we took her out for lunch to show her how proud we were. Then the kids got to play in the snow... and then DD1 had the meltdown to end all meltdowns. I actually recorded it and sent to my mom because I think she didn't believe me about the severity. It kind of killed a good day.
Sun DH left early on a business trip. DD1 had a piano lesson, which she normally loves. I heard her refusing to play certain songs because they were "too hard", and her teacher didn't push her. Piano is really DH's thing, so I didn't intervene, but I told her in front of her teacher that she should try new songs and challenge herself. I think her teacher appreciated it - he's a grad student, young guy, and I think he doesn't always know how to handle her. Meltdown #2 when I refused iPad access (because they'd already had enough), lunch with my parents, more playing in snow, and a relatively peaceful evening (finally).
I only worked about 2 hours of overtime to prepare for Monday's presentation with the VP to discuss the budget. My predictions were that he would like the format (mainly my role) but not like the contents. He had no real questions that weren't answered in the presentation itself, so I am taking that as a positive even though he did not say one positive thing about it. Instead since he hated the contents, it overshadowed everything. Worse, he did not give specific direction to the others, he just wants them to go away and bring a new proposal back to him. So...guess who gets to put it all together again? By Thursday. Which means I canceled therapy last night, have to cancel support group tonight, and can't take DD to see Vince Gill and Amy Grant's Christmas show on Wednesday night (I won tickets through work). I am so over this job! And what's worse, one of the Directors is claiming that he was not informed about the thing that the VP didn't like so I am getting the blame for that too. I have gotten less than zero support from my new manager or the senior manager, so I doubt they will do much to clear this up. Oh well if they take this project away from me that means less overtime I guess.
Oh I didn't talk about the weekend. It was pretty good. Did an escape room during the parents day out at school. We escaped! Yay! Started working on the mystery box which was probably a mistake because we didn't get far and we'll probably be too busy to do much this weekend. Sat night one of the talented moms at school put on a benefit concert which was super nice. DD was a wreck. The first half she sat with the other kids on the side and that was fine until she started getting a little loud and handsy so I had to make her sit with us which sucked. The second half the other kids went backstage which I am NOT ok with (she cannot be backstage unsupervised, period). I'm surprised the other parents were ok. So she was pretty passed and doing all the small rebellions to show it. We were super close to leaving but managed to stick it out. They brought a couple of young Belmont grads and LOL there was this sweet little blonde girl who sang a political song (at a Christmas concert) and one of the lines was "when the streets flood with children's blood". That was fun to explain to my 8 year old with anxiety. She only did 2 songs. Her other was about hating her Catholic upbringing and she said something about hating God. DD demanded to go outside because "this is disrespectful!" I repeat...at a Christmas concert. For children. LOL
Sunday DH coached DD's first basketball practice of the year. I have plenty of apprehension about that; mainly I think he will be fine but DD OMG. He would say "line up here and take turns shooting" and DD would say, "Actually don't do that. Go here and do this." Yeah. And his patience is going to be thin with that.
Oh I didn't talk about the weekend. It was pretty good. Did an escape room during the parents day out at school. We escaped! Yay! Started working on the mystery box which was probably a mistake because we didn't get far and we'll probably be too busy to do much this weekend. Sat night one of the talented moms at school put on a benefit concert which was super nice. DD was a wreck. The first half she sat with the other kids on the side and that was fine until she started getting a little loud and handsy so I had to make her sit with us which sucked. The second half the other kids went backstage which I am NOT ok with (she cannot be backstage unsupervised, period). I'm surprised the other parents were ok. So she was pretty passed and doing all the small rebellions to show it. We were super close to leaving but managed to stick it out. They brought a couple of young Belmont grads and LOL there was this sweet little blonde girl who sang a political song (at a Christmas concert) and one of the lines was "when the streets flood with children's blood". That was fun to explain to my 8 year old with anxiety. She only did 2 songs. Her other was about hating her Catholic upbringing and she said something about hating God. DD demanded to go outside because "this is disrespectful!" I repeat...at a Christmas concert. For children. LOL
Sunday DH coached DD's first basketball practice of the year. I have plenty of apprehension about that; mainly I think he will be fine but DD OMG. He would say "line up here and take turns shooting" and DD would say, "Actually don't do that. Go here and do this." Yeah. And his patience is going to be thin with that.
Ok I laughed at all of this.
What the what? On the Christmas songs and Oh my word! @ your DD, lol.
Oh I didn't talk about the weekend. It was pretty good. Did an escape room during the parents day out at school. We escaped! Yay! Started working on the mystery box which was probably a mistake because we didn't get far and we'll probably be too busy to do much this weekend. Sat night one of the talented moms at school put on a benefit concert which was super nice. DD was a wreck. The first half she sat with the other kids on the side and that was fine until she started getting a little loud and handsy so I had to make her sit with us which sucked. The second half the other kids went backstage which I am NOT ok with (she cannot be backstage unsupervised, period). I'm surprised the other parents were ok. So she was pretty passed and doing all the small rebellions to show it. We were super close to leaving but managed to stick it out. They brought a couple of young Belmont grads and LOL there was this sweet little blonde girl who sang a political song (at a Christmas concert) and one of the lines was "when the streets flood with children's blood". That was fun to explain to my 8 year old with anxiety. She only did 2 songs. Her other was about hating her Catholic upbringing and she said something about hating God. DD demanded to go outside because "this is disrespectful!" I repeat...at a Christmas concert. For children. LOL
Sunday DH coached DD's first basketball practice of the year. I have plenty of apprehension about that; mainly I think he will be fine but DD OMG. He would say "line up here and take turns shooting" and DD would say, "Actually don't do that. Go here and do this." Yeah. And his patience is going to be thin with that.
Ok I laughed at all of this.
What the what? On the Christmas songs and Oh my word! @ your DD, lol.
I'm not even churchy (and def not Catholic). I am a non-church-going Christian who teaches my child stuff like the Christmas story and Easter at the appropriate times of year and that is about it. I have mentioned that you don't say thinks like "Jesus Christ!" in anger because it isn't respectful to Jesus but really that is about it as far as how much I talk to DD about religion. But even she, at 8, knew that was over the line.
On the other hand there was a Christmas song by a young man at Belmont called "My Man Santa." He sang it to the tune of "Santa Baby" without the sexpot stuff, but it was sooooo funny! I wish I could remember any of it to share.