Dear Stagnant Air/Freezing Fog We are on day 10. Can you please go away. I would like the rain to come back so it warms up and we can breathe clean air again. Thanks Me
Dear DD Why don't you want to go to school this week? Your teacher has fun stuff going on all week that you have been looking forward to so I don't understand why you want to stay home and miss out. What is going on? Worried Momma
Post by mustardseed2007 on Dec 13, 2017 13:37:14 GMT -5
Dear DS, Happy Birthday babe. I guess you're 6 now. But you're still my baby. Love, Your mom
Dear Boss, Thank you for the generous bonus. That is all. Signed, Employee who did earn it but is still grateful.
Dear HOA Board, I know we have a lot to do, but I am done volunteering to do it all. This is not a high school English group project where I'm going to do all the work. Nope. Nuh huh. Signed, Nope
Dear Mom of DS' Bestie, HOOORAAAAY A PLAY DATE!!! I'm so happy. I'm just bummed that one way or another DS will be leaving this school next year and we are just now doing this, but I'm glad we can get the boys together. And glad that their other bestie is also coming so it'll be 3 moms and not just the two of us since I'm stupid awkward. Signed, I'm cool, really! Ok I'm not...
Dear DD's teacher, K I observed for a while yesterday and all I saw was DD chatting with some kid who was doing work, but she, herself, did nothing constructive. Sorry, pre DS I would not say anything. But this is Post-spending thousands of dollars for an eval and tutoring, so I'm gonna be that mom and email you about it. She's really smart, she NEEDS to be challenged. Signed, Sorry, not sorry.
Dear DD, I'm watching you. Your teacher may not know what you're doing, but I do! Sorry, you're not going to get away with it. Love, Your mom who knows you.
Dear DH, DATE NIGHT DATE NIGHT!! Wahoo! Can't wait to see Star Wars with you honey! Love, Your Wife who Misses You!!
Dear company, I so appreciate how much you appreciate me, and show me that. I was honestly shocked when you told me that I'll get the trip yesterday. I had to tell DH three times before it sunk in for him. I'm blown away by the way you support and acknowledge the hard work that your employees do for you. Thanks for being an awesome place to work! Signed, Grateful employee
Post by erinshelley21 on Dec 13, 2017 14:51:57 GMT -5
Dear DH, I think it's totally wonderful that you got up with DD last night. But throwing a fit because "she was pinching you" wasn't helping get her back to sleep any faster. You're so bad at MOTN stuff it's almost hilarious. Also, why didn't you give her a bottle from the start? I would also like to cut the MOTN feedings out but we aren't there yet. We, or I, can handle one wake up. Love, your wife who thinks you're kind of ridiculous
Dear Dog, Your dad is 100% fully capable of caring for you and your 2 legged siblings, or capable of trying at least since he was struggling a bit last night. Pawing at me and whining until I got out of bed and laid on the couch next to DH and DD was not cute. Even 14 hours later its still not cute. We are 2 years out from the time you whined until I got out of bed on the 1 weekend morning I've been able to sleep in without pawning my kid off on someone because DH actually got up with him and THAT still isn't cute. Love, your mom who just wants you to leave me alone during the few hours of sleep that I do get
Dear Asshole, I suggest you sign termination contract without any arguing. If you don't sign it, good luck getting paid because I won't be writing you a check. Signed, your boss
Dear SIL, You've had enough time to deal with your kid stealing money from me. Being tired and busy doesn't excuse you from being a parent. Aunt Erinshelley will be asking your kids if they took the money. I'm only including the other one since she's starting to pull some tricks too and her and DS are joined at the hip, so I want her to know I'm not playing games as well. Love, your SIL who loves you and hopes you get your life back together soon because this is not you.
Let's get alllllll the sickness out of your system before Christmas mmmkay? DD1 you're off to a great start since you've essentially been sick since Thanksgiving, so you can get better and go back to school any time. Also, super awesome that it's all hitting while Daddy is running all over the country for work and I have no one to help with Christmas prep duties. Love, Stressed out Mama
Dear DH - I know you're stressed. Me too. An appropriate response is NOT to dump more stuff on me. That's the wrong thing to do. Trust me. Buck up, focus, and help. Wifey
PS The appropriate response when I tell you that I picked up a present for your d!ck of a brother is not "Why? We don't exchange gifts" because yes you do. It's "Thank you". For future reference and all that.
Dear DH, Please don’t change my birthday plans again. I really wanted a fun night out with my friends, then you invited your whole family except your parents because they don’t leave the house that late. Then your mom was upset that they aren’t invited. Did you explain we are going to a club to drink excessively and dance? Our college sitter is all set to stay overnight with the kids, so please book the hotel down the street from the club. I am at this point most looking forward to an expensive breakfast the next morning, as instead of a possibly crazy night with friends, it’s my friends, our friends...and your entire family. Including our usual overnight sitters!! I was nervous enough because you never ever come out when we go to clubs - now ... it’s just a trainwreck. Especially because we are already having a family party! You do realize your family treats me like a child, right? I’m the only person they have birthday parties for! It’s nice but plenty awkward.
Wife who wanted something a little different....but is crossing her fingers
erinshelley21, I'm LOLing at the fact that your dog was so worried about her baby that she kept at you until you got up and helped out Dad. FYI my dog would do the same thing. Except she loves to lay in bed with me and pin my legs down so I can't get up and therefore sleep longer.
2chatter, party with in-laws, YIKES, maybe they will leave early. I hope your DH gets that hotel room.
Dear water pooling on our work ceiling Please be a simple problem when they get into the apartment upstairs tomorrow. I don't have the energy to deal with major water mess next week. Nervous Tenant
Dear DH, I think it's totally wonderful that you got up with DD last night. But throwing a fit because "she was pinching you" wasn't helping get her back to sleep any faster. You're so bad at MOTN stuff it's almost hilarious. Also, why didn't you give her a bottle from the start? I would also like to cut the MOTN feedings out but we aren't there yet. We, or I, can handle one wake up. Love, your wife who thinks you're kind of ridiculous.
Do we have the same H? Omg men and the MOTN drama. I bf DS2 for 13 months and did all the MOTN wake ups during that time. When I was weaning him, I made DH do MOTN because DS2 would just freak out wanting to nurse if I went in. DH acted like it was the end of the world every time he had to get up and groused so much about feeding DS2 a bottle, even though he was clearly waking up hungry. Fortunately DS2 grew out of eating by MOTN after about a month of this, because otherwise I would have had to kill DH for all his moaning.
Dear DH, I think it's totally wonderful that you got up with DD last night. But throwing a fit because "she was pinching you" wasn't helping get her back to sleep any faster. You're so bad at MOTN stuff it's almost hilarious. Also, why didn't you give her a bottle from the start? I would also like to cut the MOTN feedings out but we aren't there yet. We, or I, can handle one wake up. Love, your wife who thinks you're kind of ridiculous.
Do we have the same H? Omg men and the MOTN drama. I bf DS2 for 13 months and did all the MOTN wake ups during that time. When I was weaning him, I made DH do MOTN because DS2 would just freak out wanting to nurse if I went in. DH acted like it was the end of the world every time he had to get up and groused so much about feeding DS2 a bottle, even though he was clearly waking up hungry. Fortunately DS2 grew out of eating by MOTN after about a month of this, because otherwise I would have had to kill DH for all his moaning.
He has actually been pretty helpful this go around with only 2 or 3 fits like the one the other night. We didn't deal with a non-sleeping infant when DS was a baby because he STTN from about 3 months until 12 months when he got an ear infection and it all went to shit.
Dear DD, I am so excited for you! When you started backing down at soccer because of your size I was worried. Your new skills coach has really turned that around! Two goals last night, past your bedtime, you rock! Keep it up! Love Proud Mom
Dear Unsportsmanlike Girl, I am still incredulous that after DD fought through four other defenders that you thought the best idea was to put both of your hands on her and throw her to the ground to prevent her from taking a shot. You WAY deserved that penalty and if you were a year older you would have been carded and ejected from the game. I hope your coach learns to pull his players when they behave that way, that your parents start discussing things like that with you - but I am not hopeful as your team CHEERED when you literally picked up my daughter and slammed her to the ground. Learn to lose gracefully. Disgusted by youth sports
I swear, our kids’ skin will not fall off if we skip a bath one day. Really. And our ped has recommended fewer bathes/showers in winter because of their eczema. Which they get from YOU.
Sincerely, Not Mom of the Stinky Kids
Also Dear H:
Thank you for being on Elf Patrol the last two nights. Great job!