Brag of the Year 2017

[auntie]

It's the last day of the year and an appropriate time to look back. 

What has your child learned, done or stopped doing that fills you with pride?

[auntie]

I'll go first.

Obviously the biggie- my son earned his BA in history in May. There was a time back in middle school and even into 9th and 10 grade that I wasn't certain a high school diploma was in the offing.

But it's the little things.

DS has been working his ass off this season- the last couple of weeks have been 12 and 15 hour days in a very public facing position. And not complaining.

His employer has been using some of his photography for promotional purposes and giving him credit. (I have always been conflicted about pushing him into music (DH's side of the family) for social opportunities when visual arts (my side) seem to be where his talents lie.

He has been social at work. I hear stories in the evenings about people and not just trains. He even grabbed a beer with coworkers and beat "Santa" at pool.

He learned to drive a stick shift and is doing well with it. (Some experts suggest that a manual transmission is a good choice for an ADHD driver to keep them engaged, but that not for someone with ASD who may process information more slowly than an NT person)

www.nytimes.com/2012/03/27/health/add-and-adhd-challenge-those-seeking-drivers-license.html

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/27/the-challenge-of-driving-with-aspergers/

He continue to mature in terms of analytical thinking. The other night the alternator went of his Jeep while he was driving home. His drive is on rural backroads with no shoulders, so he drove to the train station when his lights started to flicker. The car would not start so he had no heat and it was 7F out. He flagged down a train and rode it back to the main station where I picked him up. He's not happy driving my mom's minivan while his car is being repaired, but he's dealing with it.

[waverly]

A year ago in Jan 2017, DS had just beaten his chronic ear infections. Despite doctors telling us that swimming in a pool did not cause them, his ENT eventually decided he was one of those outliers that it did actually cause a problem so this year he swam with one earplug in and had no issues. He only had the tube in one ear at that point.

He completed K and started first grade. Turned 7 and started cub scouts.

He got an FM system and started PT and OT. 2 more months of PT and hopefully he will be discharged. We got his leg, hip and ankle issues mostly fixed and are now working on arms and shoulders.

He will start his first league sport in January.

[sahara78]

Great thread idea, auntie!

DD started reading over the past few months.

She’s cut back on hair twirling by 95%. We took her for a haircut on Friday; I’m cautiously optimistic that’s the last time we’ll have to cut it to even out the twirled side.

DD played with a friend’s DD on Friday; they both talked to each other on toy phones. It was big, because usually she doesn’t want to interact on play dates.

DD played a wise man in our church Christmas pageant. She went onstage alone & put her gift on the manger. I had assumed I’d need to escort her.

Wise man:

SPOILER: Click to show

[auntie]

sahara78, so cute!

[lemonberry]

He's mostly potty trained except for poop and occasional accidents, but refuses to wear underwear vs. his pull-up and won't even attempt to poo in the toilet. Last night, he was talking about a little toy he wanted so I told him we'd make a deal. If he will use the potty and wear underwear for a week, he can get the toy on Sunday. So he stripped off the pull-up, put on underwear, pooped in the toilet before bed, and told me he was a big boy now like Captain Underpants.

I honestly remember thinking he'd never potty trained. This gives me so much hope for other things.

[akafred]

I think the biggest positive is DD is starting to really respond to CBT methods to help with her emotional regulation, anxiety, and behavior. The Christmas break was really hard, so hard I couldn't think of anything positive at all, but I really do think this is huge. We're not seeing a ton of improvement by use of these tools, but she does seem to be internalizing the tools, so hopefully we will see growth in these areas soon.

One thing we are trying that is sort of like red thoughts/green thoughts is red words/green words. When one of us uses "red words", the other can call them on it by saying "Red Words" and then we have to change to "green words." For example, "It's time to get ready for bed." "NO!" "Red words." "Can I just finish coloring this picture?" Maybe the answer is yes and maybe it is no (it could drag on all night), but getting her to stop and think through better ways to verbalize the thoughts without it being as judgmental sounding as I'm sure I have sounded lately is showing some promise. For now I am completely ignoring tone. This is about the words.

[miranda]

It's all the little things this year. His "with it-ness" has improved. Last night we were watching the premiere of The Amazing Race. We told DS about the show and how DH and I like to choose a team in the first episode and then see who wins at the end. We're pretty competitive. DS caught on to the show right away and was first to choose his team; he remembered their names and cheered them on throughout the show. He kept saying "there's my boy Lucas". He wanted the annoying team to be eliminated. He caught all the sarcasm and laughed at the right times. Last year he wouldn't watch any non-animated shows other than sports.

He has become interested in popular music this year. He loves Ed Sheerhan and can sing most of his songs (badly). If you ask him his favorite band he'll say Imagine Dragons or 21 Pilots, because he thinks they are "cooler" and his friends like them more. Last year he had no interest in music.

He is proving to be resilient, which is a relief. He and his BFF have drifted apart, but he has a couple new friends. His new friends are more sports-centric while his former friends were the quirky card club playing group. DS seems to be able to fit in with either group.

[akafred]

miranda, that sounds like all the BIG things!

[waverly]

miranda, I'm seeing growth in that area too. DS is moving on from kids shows to non-fiction. Movies were a hard pass, and I finally got him to watch 2 movies all the way through. He would usually over react to the emotions or scary music (even if nothing scary was happening he would anticipate that it would). I got him to watch Mighty Ducks and one of the Air Bud movies. He got really into football and sports this fall, so I was able to segway it to kids sports movies. We've only been trying to have family movie night for about 3 years now- finally! There are lots of Air Bud versions too, so that will keep us for a few months.

[akafred]

waverly, all my sorries in having to watch those Air Bud(dies) movies though. They are SO BAD.

[waverly]

akafred, lol. Yeah they aren't the best, but I think we can segway to other movies after these ones. I have a list of sports movies, and he seems to be getting into the slapstick kid humor, so I know there are some movies like that maybe Home Alone type movies.

[miranda]

akafred, waverly, I have managed to narrowly miss all the Air Buds so far!! DS has watched We Are Marshall, Remember the Titans, Hoosers, Invincible, etc. Usually he has to ask a lot of questions and drive us all bonkers, but he has enjoyed them all except Rudy- that one he actually cried at the end because "all he got to do was play in two plays???!!!" Also he was distressed to discover that college is hard...

I about fell over the other day when DS demanded we all watch The Big Bang Theory. DS does not present like a Sheldon, and we don't watch the show at all. DS knew all about it and said it's going to be his new favorite. I watched with him and he thought it was hilarious. I told him most people assume the character Sheldon has autism and he got really quiet- I'm sure it hadn't occurred to him.

His case manager is using movies this year for social skills. It sounds pretty lazy on his teacher's part, but DS loves movies so he has actually enjoys his once weekly social skills pullout.

[macchiatto]

Leo's grown SO much this year! March was his official ASD Dx and we started new rounds of ST, PT, OT and a first round of counseling. Since spring we've noticed a big decrease in his whining and "helplessness." He's developed a strong work ethic in his therapies and all the therapy homework along with academics. Academically he's doing great but socially he's made some progress, too. He's playing with other kids at recess more consistently and speaking up in class a bit more. And ST has really helped in terms of things like problem solving, perspective taking, dealing with idioms and flexible thinking.

[freezorburn]

It's been a big growth year for DS. Towards the end of preschool, he actually started to make friends. It will take some work to stay in touch with them, since everyone has ended up in different places for kindergarten, but it was a pretty huge new development for him. And he has continued to make friends in kindergarten.

And, just making the transition to kindergarten was huge. He handled it like a champ. Now and then he has a rough day and has been acting out -- we think this is due to his best friend moving away -- but for the most part he seems to be embracing the experience.