DH- I took the entire day off Monday to work on your too do list. I took the car in because you were freaking out about the rear defrost and saying it was all broken. It sat there for two days for me to call them and them to tell me it wasn't broken and now you don't want to bother with problem solving to get the car back. We could have gone this morning OR when I asked you to take an early train back to pick it up tonight you snapped at me that you have to work. I get that but unless you have s phone call you have no in person meetings and you didn't even bother to check your calendar which in my mind means you don't have a call at that time. And you can work in the train and from home so why does it matter which train you take if there is no conflict? So now what we can't pick up the car that you demanded I take in that had nothing wrong with it. Nor are you able to tell when when your schedule would allow for a pick up.
I also fixed your bike tire but did you ride your bike? No. You didn't even do dishes this morning.
You made snarky womp womp noises when I told you I was going to see if DD could take the bus because I've done 99% of the drop off and pick ups. A little appreciation would be nice because without me you would have to live with your parents for childcare or hire an 80k a year live in nanny considering how many days and nights you travel for work.
I don’t care about your new truck. You know I’m pissed that you bought it. It was too expensive. It means that I can’t replace my 10 year old car. You could have scaled back a bit and put us in a more comfortable spot. But you didn’t. You went all in, without discussing it with me first. So no, I don’t care about it, I don’t want to talk about how awesome it is, or how awesome your friends think it is. I don’t think it’s awesome. I think it sucks. So there.
Last night I was hoping you would take the lead on everything that needs to get done at night because you're going to be gone on a work trip until Saturday morning, but no, you didn't. After I got home from running a few errands so I didn't have to while you're gone (and you said "take your time"), I was mad to see that NOTHING was done. Dirty dishes still in the sink, kids hadn't even cleaned out their backpacks, no clothes picked out for tomorrow. And there you were, sitting on the couch, feeling "miserable" because of your man cold. I will be taking nap or doing whatever else I want to do all Sunday afternoon.
Wife
ETA: another one for DH
Dear H,
I am fine with you going on a trip with your friends to a race. However, I am getting tired of you always being the person who buys the tickets ($1100) and reserves the hotel room. Yes, it's nice to get some extra reward points on our credit card, but it's also stressful for me, because what if someone doesn't pay you (us) on time? Especially since half the people going aren't even our friends, so then we have to go through the friend to get the money. We don't have a ton of extra money right now to be carrying someone else's debt, so you better make sure you get payment from everyone by February 15. (ETA: And you better believe THEY will be paying any interest charges.)
Wife who is tired of feeling like a creditor sometimes
Post by justcheckingin73 on Jan 10, 2018 9:09:58 GMT -5
What’s with men and their trucks, mae0111 ? My DH bought a brand new truck when I was unemployed . He didn’t get all of the bells and whistles but still...could have been better timing.
Dear Self,
Your motivation has been nonexistent. I’m not sure if you just need a break or a rest but get it together. Not a good way to start a new year.
It has to get done so just do it and stop procrastinating.
I don’t care about your new truck. You know I’m pissed that you bought it. It was too expensive. It means that I can’t replace my 10 year old car. You could have scaled back a bit and put us in a more comfortable spot. But you didn’t. You went all in, without discussing it with me first. So no, I don’t care about it, I don’t want to talk about how awesome it is, or how awesome your friends think it is. I don’t think it’s awesome. I think it sucks. So there.
Wifey
Dh tried this. Thankfully, he did talk to me. I was absolutely no way, we could buy 2 vehicles for that price. He was all, if I can't get what I want, I won't buy anything. So fine. I bought a reasonable car. Is it my dream car, no. But it's nice and does what a car is supposed to do. He's waiting to afford a model with Bluetooth? Why do you need Bluetooth in a truck. Back in the day, trucks were just functional. If they had radio and air, that was an upgrade.
Dear snow,
Please hold off until later in the afternoon Friday. Then you will be perfect. Ice, you can !#/$ off.
Signed, need to make it to work Friday cause this place is stuck in the 19th century and not using vacation for snow.
I am reading these open letters and I am grateful for you. However, the attitude about picking up groceries (online all you have to do is show up and press a button) is annoying. You are picking up groceries not shopping for them.
Dear DH, You're getting obsessed, as you do. It's a game. Yes, it's ok for you to have a hobby and play games with your friends. But you've been up til 3 AM the past couple days because you are doing that obsessive thing you do with your hobbies. You're either all in, all consuming or you mope around telling me you don't do anything for yourself. Could you find some balance please? Staying up until 3 AM to play around with a hobby is dumb, unhealthy, and annoying. Plus, I'm sick of having to hound you to re-join our family and help out because you're buried in game crap. Signed, Aggravated
Dear boss, Let's remember to do my review in a timely manner this year! I'd really, really love to see what kind of raise I end up with, since this year's bonus was so good. We could use some extra cash flow to play with. Thanks, Anxious employee
Dear DH, You rock for babying me with my man cold, taking care of the slab leak, cleaning DS’ room, bringing me coffee - pretty much jumping in here with no direction. I’m all caught up at work now, feel better and am so glad I have learned to tell you to shut up and stop being absurd —- and then going back to sleep (this morning he woke me at 6 to say we aren’t going to the Caymans because there was an earthquake).
Keep it up - except the hysteria - wife
Dear Boss, Please approve my San Diego conference. I haven’t done any professional development since 2010 and you said we have budget. Make it happen.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 10, 2018 11:20:32 GMT -5
Dear DS, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope your cold is short lived. I'm glad we can enjoy the day at home together and do nothing. Love, Mom
Dear coworker, So far you don't seem to be picking up on your new job. It's not rocket science. We have 7 days left of training. Please get your head in the game and learn, because I can't deal with another loser in my office. Signed, Annoyed trainer
Dear DH Why did you give Sally crap at after care yesterday? She asked for your ID before picking DD up. You have never gone in or picked up DD before so they have no clue who you are. Just saying you are DD's dad isn't OK. Sally is great and goes the extra mile for DD. Please don't screw that up by being a jerk. Wife and daycare drop off/pick up person
Dear DH again You picked DD up yesterday as she asked to get home early as she doesn't feel good. Why couldn't you text me saying you were home instead of me worrying as I hadn't heard from either of you. DD said she would call me. Also getting home early means doing homework/reading early not waiting until after I get home. Step it up or I will tell you to keep DD at aftercare until closing as they will do homework/reading. I did everything I normally do with no help from you and that isn't okay. Me who either needs to lower my expectations to nothing or be a nag
DD I'm sorry yesterday was a bad day at school. Fingers crossed the class listens and follows directions today so school goes better. I promise you will be fine at gymnastics tonight and daddy won't forget you. I will be all over him this afternoon. Mom
Dear Oregon Update tonight Please be worthwhile. Also I hope that whoever from the state that is teaching it actually knows what he is talking about. Tax prepare who is cranky about not getting home until 10 due to update from 7-9pm
I'm sorry you have a man cold. I'm even more sorry that you chose to climb into bed with me and get ME sick, before snoring enough that I had to go sleep in the other room.
Signed, Pissy when I'm congested.
Dear DS,
THANK YOU FOR FINALLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT.
Signed, Glad I also didn't have to wake up at 1, 3, 3:30, and 4, like I've been doing with you lately.
I love you. I am so sorry work is such a pain right now (as always). I know you've been working late and it is totally not fair. I will step in and do more around the house this week.
However, this morning was not cool. When the teacher told you about a small situation, you should have found out more info. I don't know what "using body parts words" means. Is she obsessing about penises or calling people a butthead? 2 very different scenarios. And I know the teasing of other kids to kiss is not good and she needs to be talked to, but the conversation you described was way out of proportion to the behavior and most likely was counterproductive to problem solving. Also, never call my child "worthless" again. I know it was in the context of her not being helpful getting ready in the mornings, and I know you just said it to me, but I never want to think you or anyone feels that way and she can certainly sense it if you do. If you are having trouble getting her ready in the mornings then you need to handle that as a separate issue and problem solve with her instead of whining about it to me and then hanging up on me when I try to help you by suggesting ways you can streamline the morning routine and elicit her help getting ready.
I love you, all the time, but man am I getting tired of being the cracker-eater. It seems to me that the whole world eats crackers for you lately. Me, the dog, your boss, our child. Maybe you should give that some thought.
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 10, 2018 14:24:04 GMT -5
k3am, I think we have the same H too. MH did the same thing last night (insane snoring included). I took lots of immune-boosting vitamins after dinner, to try and ward off the germs.
akafred, ha ha! It does feel like an SOS thread today!
Dear Birthday Venue, Last year you had no cap and a $175 price tag. No one mentioned the 25 kid cap and the $250 price tag. WTF??
So I guess DS isn’t inviting his class, but his buddies that he plays with outside of school total 15 and there are kids at school I don’t event know about. Does getting a guest list and parent contact info for these kids i don’t know come as part of the party package??
I’m sorry that life is so rough. However, there are certain things that I cannot control, and are therefore not my fault.
1. It is not much fault that the sun was in your eyes. I did not direct the angle of the sun nor the tilt of the earth.
2. I’m sorry that ice was not slippery enough for you. I did not melt nor refreeze the ice in the parking lot.
3. I’m sorry that the giant snow banks limit the parking on the streets near school limit parking, and that you had to walk for a whole block on a beautiful sunny day to get to the car. It was torture, I know.
I will try to do better and bend the world to your liking. Or perhaps work with you to develop coping skills.
Love, Mom who is not looking forward to your teenage years.
I’m sorry that life is so rough. However, there are certain things that I cannot control, and are therefore not my fault.
1. It is not much fault that the sun was in your eyes. I did not direct the angle of the sun nor the tilt of the earth.
2. I’m sorry that ice was not slippery enough for you. I did not melt nor refreeze the ice in the parking lot.
3. I’m sorry that the giant snow banks limit the parking on the streets near school limit parking, and that you had to walk for a whole block on a beautiful sunny day to get to the car. It was torture, I know.
I will try to do better and bend the world to your liking. Or perhaps work with you to develop coping skills.
Love, Mom who is not looking forward to your teenage years.
mae0111, my kids CONSTANTLY complain about the sun being in their eyes when we are in the car. It drives me bonkers. I must have said "mommy does not control THE SUN!!!" hundreds of times. So, solidarity.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jan 10, 2018 15:47:14 GMT -5
Dear Career Assessment test, Well you were quite the eye opener. And have me questioning my professional life even more than I already was. It feels good because I know that I have been feeling the way I feel about my job for a reason, but it doesn't feel good because I feel even more lost than I was before. Signed, you totally nailed it though
Dear WP, Just when I think I have my life somewhat figured out, I'm suddenly back to not knowing. Don't worry, I'm annoyed and hate me too lol. Signed, I'm just going to go work at Target
traveltheworld, mae0111, I have the same argument with my son about the sun. I tell him to close his eyes and he tells me he doesn't want to. I give up.
mae0111, I feel like DD took a really long time to even begin to realize I don't control the universe. Genuine empathy goes a long way toward helping her cope though. She is really emotionally labil because of anxiety, so many many parts of the world are conspiring against her on a daily basis. It is exhausting! (But it is also exhausting for her!!!)
akafred - you have so much patience. It’s honestly so exhausting. We weren’t even 10 steps from the school and the sun was in her eyes, her feet hurt, her throat was sore, why did you park so far away? Can I have a play date? I don’t waaaaannnnnaaaa do my homework. Where is the car? Why didn’t you just pick me up at the door? My belly hurts. What did you park do far away? What ice? You don’t have to be careful, it’s not slippery. Why isn’t it slippery? Why didn’t that mean person shovel their sidewalk?
Post by justcheckingin73 on Jan 10, 2018 17:23:28 GMT -5
erinshelley21, I’m right there with ya sometimes. I’ve also had the same experience with the career assessments and it’s so frustrating being in a place of not knowing. I bet once you’re away from your current situation, things will start to clarify for you. It just sucks until you get there.
MY NEW MATTRESS WAS DELIVERED TODAY!!! I am giddy. I can’t wait to try it. It’s a purple brand - our first foam mattress. DH is going to assemble the frame and take apart or old bed as soon as I get home.
Excited!
Dear DH,
Thank you for trying to pull yourself together and be a person the last couple days. I know your mental health is bad these days but there’s nothing to be done before your appt on Friday so you just have to keep trying. I appreciate you getting in bed and getting out of bed and logging into your job like a grownup. I’ll be even happier next time if these changes could happen before I have a breakdown at the dinner table about how I can’t hold up everybody’s life by myself.
Dear boss,
Thanks for cutting that report I didn’t want to do anyway. You’ve saved me actual hours of late night work that I will spend rolling around my new bed instead.
Dear Plumbing Company, Having to “work on the invoice” and “get back to us” is a new one. Here’s pretty much how I see it: you said you wanted to know if your apprentice was sitting around. He wasn’t; he was breaking the water main and water meter, which weren’t part of the problem. Fixing that took two days. Fixing the actual slab leak was very quick. I really hope the invoice reflects that. Also, who thought white coveralls were a good idea for guys sitting in muddy holes?
I get that everything is fancy free there, but for the love of pete, could you maybe keep the Sharpies away from the four year olds? It was kind of hilarious to see the kids with their faces made up like members of Kiss, but that stuff is super hard to wash off.