Anniversary party help

[supertrooper1]

My parents' 50th anniversary is this summer. I had already thought about throwing a party, at a park or hall with just cake and punch. I hadn't said anything to my parents yet, but my mom messaged me the other day, wanting help planning. Her idea is a full meal at their local elementary school gym. I have no problem with the gym, but a full meal would be really expensive for the number of people they would want to invite, probably around 100.

I told my mom I would plan it but my budget was about $500. She said that was nice, but she doesn't want my money. I'm having a hard time with the etiquette of my parents throwing their own party. WWYD?

And I need food help. I think catering would be too expensive. She had mentioned salads and maybe pulled pork from Costco, plus lasagna. I'm not sure people will want to eat lasagna in hot July. We would have access to the elementary school kitchen. By doing a full meal, I now think we need to do RSVPs so we know how many are coming, instead of cake open house style.

[HeartofCheese]

I don't think there's any problem with your parents throwing their own party. It's not like it's a shower, but more of a birthday party minus the present-obligation. They're throwing a celebration and treating their guests. I think that's kosher.

I would ask your mom what her budget is and get her guest list, then get some estimates and see what she thinks.

[k3am]

I throw etiquette out the window when it comes to family stuff. Especially for my mom. In your boots, if it were my mom and she had a specific idea of what she wanted to celebrate 50 years of marriage (and OMG CONGRATS ON THAT MRS. SUPERTROOPER!), and she wanted to fund it? Let that woman plan.

In terms of how it looks to everyone else, would you be okay with planning the party in connection with your mom (and her funding) and being in charge of the invites and whatnot? I don't think I've ever questioned "who was throwing a party" beyond who sent me the invite and if it was hosted at their home or not.

[supertrooper1]

That is true, no one will know where the money came from if I'm the one sending out the invites. Our family reunions are usually word of mouth and in recent years, FB. So if I do them by mail, I could offer to pay that and chip in on the food.

My parents don't know how much I make, but I think just myself, I make 3 times what they both do in a year, so I would feel very guilty not chipping in at least some.

k3am, my mom is very special for putting up with my dad and his temper for so long. He's gotten much better in the last 15 years or so.

[kimberlybb]

I threw a party for my parent’s 30th anniversary on a limited budget several years ago. I had the meat catered from a local BBQ place and made everything else. We had around 60ish and I think the food was under $200 so doing something like that could be an option. It sounds like you aren’t keen on pasta but a pasta bar with a few sauce and meat options plus salad and bread would feed a crowd that size relatively cheaply. Another option could be a brunch with a few egg casseroles and pastries/ muffins/coffee cakes or you could do heavy appetizers if you wanted to do afternoon/evening. Just desserts would also be fun that time of day too.

[2chatter]

Take the money and throw a party!! Give them what they want. Have fun!!

For $500 you could get pretty awesome food catered - so I vote research this and see where you land.

[CrazyLucky]

We (the siblings) threw a big party for my parents' 50th. I think 3 of us wanted something low key, like what you mentioned, but my older sister was running the show and wanted to do a big thing. So it go ridiculously expensive. Anyway, they did a vow renewal at church, which was super cute because my Dad is really awesome. We could have had the party there in the parish hall, but my sister wanted to rent a place. Parents had a 1964 Rolls (the year they got married) for transportation, which was expensive, but boy did my mom love it. The party was catered and had a big cake. DH is into photography and took the pictures. It was a nice time, and I'm glad we did it, but I think it could have been done more simply.

I'd ask your mom what her budget is and go from there. You may find it goes farther than you think!

[supertrooper1]

My mom is going to get me a guest number to work with so I can reach out to caterers in our area. We went with the cheapest we could find for our wedding, and meatballs, ham and salads were $2,500 for 100 people plus gratuity. We used the same person for our rehearsal dinner and it was $250 for 12 people with pulled pork and salads. Food seems expensive in my area.
I asked her what she wanted on the menu and she said "sandwich fixings, salads, fruit, meatballs, ham, pulled pork and maybe chicken." I think we'll be scaling that back some...lol.

[2chatter]

@supertrooper - fajitas for 45 was about $250 here and included chips, bean dip, salsa, queso and chips - but we went through a restaurant.

[mommyatty]

Def go through a restaurant! Or several if you have the time and energy to coordinate. Like get a ham and salads from Costco, deli trays from a deli, chicken from Chick Fil A. Put everything on matching trays and you’re good to go.

[mommyatty]

Jan 10, 2018 16:09:41 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

My mom is going to get me a guest number to work with so I can reach out to caterers in our area. We went with the cheapest we could find for our wedding, and meatballs, ham and salads were $2,500 for 100 people plus gratuity. We used the same person for our rehearsal dinner and it was $250 for 12 people with pulled pork and salads. Food seems expensive in my area.
I asked her what she wanted on the menu and she said "sandwich fixings, salads, fruit, meatballs, ham, pulled pork and maybe chicken." I think we'll be scaling that back some...lol.

Could you contact a BBQ joint and ask them to price out pulled pork, chicken, and ham for sandwiches? And see if they have a package that includes sides?

TMI confession- I totally do not understand meatballs. I mean, do people actually eat just meatballs on their own? Not in a sandwich or on pasta? Yuck. I can barely stomach them on pasta. So I’m no help with that. 

[twinmomma]

Jan 11, 2018 12:44:05 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Jan 10, 2018 16:09:41 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

My mom is going to get me a guest number to work with so I can reach out to caterers in our area. We went with the cheapest we could find for our wedding, and meatballs, ham and salads were $2,500 for 100 people plus gratuity. We used the same person for our rehearsal dinner and it was $250 for 12 people with pulled pork and salads. Food seems expensive in my area.
I asked her what she wanted on the menu and she said "sandwich fixings, salads, fruit, meatballs, ham, pulled pork and maybe chicken." I think we'll be scaling that back some...lol.

Could you contact a BBQ joint and ask them to price out pulled pork, chicken, and ham for sandwiches? And see if they have a package that includes sides?

TMI confession- I totally do not understand meatballs. I mean, do people actually eat just meatballs on their own? Not in a sandwich or on pasta? Yuck. I can barely stomach them on pasta. So I’m no help with that. 

LOL Just meatballs is a favorite dinner of my children. And someone always makes them in a crockpot for any family gatherings/parties we go to. I love meatballs!

[186momx]

supertrooper1, if she wants to hold it at the elementary school you may ask the school district kitchen staff if they would be interested in catering it.

Our district has made this mandatory for any activity that is held at school that requires food which sucks that the PTO can't cook up a spaghetti feed and has to have the school cater it or the high school football team can't do their banquet at school without having to pay the kitchen for food. This does make it possible for the entire district to get free breakfast for every child no matter their income.