Friday - vents/randoms/confessions/plans/whatever else

[erinshelley21]

Yesterday I asked my brother if he thought we should give Asshole a deadline to return our files and keys. He said "yeah, sure" even though he's under the impression Asshole will just bring them back today like he said he would. I said he might do that, but I don't want them today at 5pm. There's work we need to do with those files to prepare for meetings next week. I sent him a text that my brother was included on saying we need everything by 12:00pm or one of us would be at his house at 1pm to retrieve them. Asshole says he told brother he'd bring them Friday and wants to know why I am texting him. I told him I wanted to be sure someone would be here to receive them to make sure everything was there and present while he packed his personal belongings. His response was he is working it out with brother.



This was a group text and my brother said nothing. Not one word. I am a big girl and can take care of and defend myself, but at some point it would be nice to have a little support.

[twinmomma]

erinshelley21, Such an ass! Aren't you brother's boss technically? I'd respond with something like, you're the owner, this is the final decision, end of discussion. Then I'd send an email too, outlining all the information and deadlines in writing, referencing your text conversation, so you have a record of it. When we have sales people leave here, they're not even allowed back at their desks. HR packs it up and ships it to them. You're already being nicer than that!

This guy makes me want to scream.

[rere]

erinshelley21 I can relate. I handle all things for our joint rental property. I started including my brothers in the txting just so they could see what I am dealing with and to freak the renter out a bit. Never a word during the conversation I had about pay or get out.

No big plans here. Dd is having a sleepover tonight. We may go watch the game somewhere tomorrow. I told Dh we are all stir crazy with the snow and I want to go out to dinner at some point. I just want to get out and have other people cook my food and then clean it up. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning especially since he has worked until 7:30 all week.

[twinmomma]

DH and I got in a blow out fight this morning before I left for work. I asked him to deal with homework last night, since I was at the PTA meeting. He didn't make DD2 do all of it, just a couple bits that were easy for him to supervise. I was so pissed this morning, mainly because to me, this is just disrespectful. I ask and delegate and need help with something, and his response is basically "meh." He claims that I shouldn't be mad, because kindergarten homework doesn't even matter, so I'm over-reacting and being a terrible person for yelling at him about it, because he did some of it at least. To me, it wasn't about the homework. It was just yet another example of me not being able to rely on him. I was so angry when I left the house and feeling so disrespected, it was not my finest moment. So I called him to apologize for yelling as I drove into work.
But honestly, FFFC - I'm not that sorry. He's being an ass. I just felt like I should take the higher road so it didn't ruin my day. But I'm still mad. And feel awful for yelling at him in front of the kids.

[erinshelley21]

Jan 19, 2018 9:29:40 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

erinshelley21 , Such an ass! Aren't you brother's boss technically? I'd respond with something like, you're the owner, this is the final decision, end of discussion. Then I'd send an email too, outlining all the information and deadlines in writing, referencing your text conversation, so you have a record of it. When we have sales people leave here, they're not even allowed back at their desks. HR packs it up and ships it to them. You're already being nicer than that!

This guy makes me want to scream.

We own the agency 50/50 and I've always tried to respect that and not do whatever the hell I want, but we end up doing things my way since I'm the one that executes half the shit we talk about. 

I keep telling my brother we are being too nice. Being too nice is what got us here in the first place. My brother keeps ASKING asshole IF things are going to happen, even about the meetings he went on last week that my brother was supposed to be present for. He asked if he could go and I told him "no, you need to tell him you are going and to let you know what time you guys will be leaving." He's being too nice, which makes me be the complete opposite end of the spectrum and I've been blowing up at the asshole to the point where he won't even deal with me anymore. 

[meagain]

Vents-my younger daughter was sexually assaulted last night.  She is 15 and had been meeting a friend who is a boy to play games at a comic book store up town.  She really liked him in the past but he didn't want to date so they just stayed friends.  He kissed her and groped her without her permission.  She was so caught off guard she didn't know how to react.  My poor girl is immature for her age and she had no idea what to do.  She is so upset.  We did talk about what to do if that should happen again.  She doesn't have many friends and I think she almost more upset about that part than the other.  Thankfully, she doesn't have any classes with him.  They do belong to a gaming club together.  The only thing she has every joined and now he has taken that away from her.  I just want to hurt that kid.  I am so sad for her.  I miss when they were little and I could solve all of their problems for them. 


Last day at my #1 job is today. 2 more shifts for job #2 and then on to bigger and better things. Supervisor for new job called me this morning to touch base and I drove my route today to see how it would work out. I will be able to take my girls to school and still have plenty of time to get to work. I am getting so excited and nervous.

[2chatter]

erinshelley21 - do you have a countdown calendar yet!?!

twinmomma - same thing happens here - or he gets mad at the “new math” and gives up. He can’t grasp what cherry picking homework or disregarding it because it’s “not important” does as far as setting an example for the kids. I feel your pain!

DD and I are going to the women’s march tomorrow downtown. Middle has a handspring clinic, play date and soccer practice and DS has a play date. DH was like what??? We were going to a movie. Hello, you have to get that on the calendar with these kids or they will make their own plans. Evening volleyball and indoor soccer games.

We are skipping church because of the flu. I’m super paranoid at this point. So Sunday we have NO plans and that’s exciting.

[covergirl82]

That is awful about what happened to your DD, meagain .

erinshelley21 , that Asshole is really living up to his name. I hope he understands that keys and files are EMPLOYER PROPERTY and he needs to comply with your DEMANDS (as they are not requests).

I got home last night at 6:30 with the kids. They had swim class at 5:30. So we were all hungry. DH was supposed to make spaghetti, which he did, but did not make a veggie or garlic bread. I was irritated because how hard is it to boil some water and put the veggies in (we usually get frozen veggies as they are easy) and turn on the oven and then put the garlic bread in. He got mad and acted like I wasn't grateful for him making dinner and oh, he had a long day at work (yeah, like I don't know that feeling either). I just limited my conversation with him the rest of the night.  (ETA:  I usually make dinner and do dishes, so I feel like on the rare occasion I ask him to help out and make dinner, he shouldn't act like I'm asking for the world.  Just make the dinner like I make it, or at least close to it.)

Today is my Friday off. I already got my grocery shopping done, and now I'm on a conference call. This afternoon I have to run some errands.

Saturday we're going to lunch with my parents and sister for my dad's birthday (which is actually Monday). Outside of that, no plans, which means we can have a lazy morning and I can do cleaning.

Sunday is church. I'm going to meet a friend for coffee in the afternoon, and then we have our small group in the evening.

[mae0111]

meagain - I’m so sorry. Does she want to pursue it further? I’m a mom of daughters and I’m terrified of something like this happening. You handled it well. She knows she can talk to you.

[mae0111]

DD2 (4) entered a coloring contest at a local restaurant, and she won! She gets a free meal and dessert. She was so proud of herself... for like 5 seconds until her big sister pooped all over her win. Told her she had NO IDEA how she could POSSIBLY have won the contest, they must have picked her because she was little because DD1 did a MUCH better job. The truth is that DD2 is slow and methodical, and she did a great job. But my heart broke hearing DD1s reaction.

I should not have been surprised. DD1 is very jealous and belittles most of DD2’s accomplishments. DD2 is much more supportive of DD1. I wish she could return the support.

[mustardseed2007]

meagain, I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing! I don't even know what to say about it.

Is there any other steps she would feel comfortable taking? If it happened at a gaming shop is it an option to involve the owner?

[erinshelley21]

2chatter, 2 months from this past monday I get to mostly check out from this job and coast through the busy season since I will just be gathering data and passing the torch in June and July. About 6 months from today I'll be wrapping up my crop insurance career.

[erinshelley21]

covergirl82, he should understand since when the other agent left 5 years ago he is the one that suggested we kick him out of the building, raise holy hell that he took files with him too, and lock everything down. Now that he's the one peacing out he's a bit of a hypocrite.

[akafred]

meagain, OMG how scary and sad and infuriating all in one! I want to say that it is AMAZING and wonderful that your DD told you about this. It is a testament to your parenting and your relationship. I hope your DD pursues this with law enforcement and the school and the boy's parents, but you should know that your support and open relationship with her will go a long way toward helping her heal.

[2chatter]

meagain - was it an awkward early teen attempt at a kiss or more of a consent issue? If they have been friends for a while I’d think it’s worth it to talk with both of them about it and use it as an opportunity to openly discuss consent - how to read signals, how to get consent, what to do if you don’t know if you have consent, what to do to make it clear you don’t consent, what to do if lack of consent isn’t respected. Some parents aren’t having those convos, and it sounds like it’s worth a discussion with both of them. A really socially awkward guy in HS was the one who introduced me to this concept - he truly didn’t get what/how to do anything in this arena and was far too aggressive but really didn’t know - only because I wasn’t that socially awkward girl could I talk with him about it. Mediated images of these scenarios have only made it worse now.

But I am a huge communicator and problem solver and have discussed this with all three kids at various levels - I realize that’s not the reality for many.

[leap]

meagain, that's horrible. I can't imagine how betrayed and hurt she must feel. Poor girl.

Last night we took the kids to see Paddington 2 and the digital projector broke half way through the movie. DD2 was so upset. She adores Paddington (she has a stuffed bear and all the books). So now we need to find a time to go see the whole movie over the weekend.

The girls skate on Saturday and we have a date night planned for Saturday night. Two birthday parties on Sunday and that's it for weekend plans.

[akafred]

Tomorrow is a BIG DAY! 10am basketball game (any guesses about the score? Maybe 40-10? Lol), followed by an inline hockey event to see if DD would like to play this spring (it's a shoe hockey game first), and then DH and I are splitting up for the evening; he is going to the regional Emmy awards (he is up for 5 this year, but 2 compete with each other so most likely the most he could win is 4 unless he happened to tie himself lol, so hopefully he wins at least one), and I am taking DD to parents night out at school and having a girl date with one of the other moms. We are going to have dinner somewhere followed by seeing "The Commuter." Which I won't be watching because i'lol be waiting for texts from DH.

Sunday I will go visit my dad and try not to make out with him this time.

[akafred]

Jan 19, 2018 11:01:54 GMT -5 2chatter said:

meagain - was it an awkward early teen attempt at a kiss or more of a consent issue? If they have been friends for a while I’d think it’s worth it to talk with both of them about it and use it as an opportunity to openly discuss consent - how to read signals, how to get consent, what to do if you don’t know if you have consent, what to do to make it clear you don’t consent, what to do if lack of consent isn’t respected. Some parents aren’t having those convos, and it sounds like it’s worth a discussion with both of them. A really socially awkward guy in HS was the one who introduced me to this concept - he truly didn’t get what/how to do anything in this arena and was far too aggressive but really didn’t know - only because I wasn’t that socially awkward girl could I talk with him about it. Mediated images of these scenarios have only made it worse now.

But I am a huge communicator and problem solver and have discussed this with all three kids at various levels - I realize that’s not the reality for many.

This is so awesome. Better than my "burn it down" approach lol. But really having that conversation with the mom of a girl he screwed up with might just be the worst possible punishment.

[mustardseed2007]

Jan 19, 2018 11:01:54 GMT -5 2chatter said:

meagain - was it an awkward early teen attempt at a kiss or more of a consent issue? If they have been friends for a while I’d think it’s worth it to talk with both of them about it and use it as an opportunity to openly discuss consent - how to read signals, how to get consent, what to do if you don’t know if you have consent, what to do to make it clear you don’t consent, what to do if lack of consent isn’t respected. Some parents aren’t having those convos, and it sounds like it’s worth a discussion with both of them. A really socially awkward guy in HS was the one who introduced me to this concept - he truly didn’t get what/how to do anything in this arena and was far too aggressive but really didn’t know - only because I wasn’t that socially awkward girl could I talk with him about it. Mediated images of these scenarios have only made it worse now.

But I am a huge communicator and problem solver and have discussed this with all three kids at various levels - I realize that’s not the reality for many.

This could be a good idea if he's not an asshole. It might be better than involving his parents who might get defensive. 

I don't know what I'd do. 

[186momx]

meagain, I'm so sorry. Would your DD be comfortable talking to the school counselor? I think the school should know since the boy also attends especially if he decides to brag about it which will hurt your DD even more.

erinshelley21, your brother is being a PITA about this whole thing. I would just go fine you want to give asshole the benefit that he will bring them then you can deal with all of those accounts on your own as I can't work late tonight or this weekend to play catch up.

Weekend plans: Have gotten less since DD lost some privileges due to behavior so no riding lesson or open gym this weekend. Saturday errands, grocery store, dishwasher uninstall and install. DD has her 1st sleepover party to attend at 4. I'm hoping dishwasher will be done and DH and I can go out for dinner. Pick DD up Sunday around 11, then take her to the horse jumping competition to watch at the local horse center, b-day dinner for my mom/brother at 5. I also need to find time to clean house and do laundry.

Vent: My dad is home with stomach issues. I came and opened the office but still have my migraine and waiting to hear if he will be coming in or not so I can try to get into the chiropractor so he can fix my neck. I would just say screw it but we have afternoon appointments and most likely I won't be able to get in until afternoon anyways.

[callmekd]

meagain I'm so sorry to read what happened to your daughter.

[katrine05]

meagain So sorry that happened to your daughter.

DD puked last night so I kept her out of school today. I'm sure she's fine but she didn't want to go to school. We're at the dealership getting an oil change on my SUV then I'll drop her off at my mom's while I go to work. My mom had a dental procedure done yesterday and is home recovering so I figured they can have a quiet day together.

DD has gymnastics tomorrow, a playdate and sleepover and then a birthday party Sunday afternoon.

We're hoping to get some decluttering and organising done around the house.

[k3am]

Activities planned? Ballet and a Pump It Up party. We'll also be making a stop off at Michael's to buy a present for the next PIU party. And house stuff. Endless house stuff. I think we may take some steps to get the yard looking better this weekend. I already want to find excuses.

Whoever gave me the Michael's tip for presents... (2chatter?) THANK YOU. The limited supply of stuff and a 40% of coupon has really been helpful. I give her a $15 limit and she picks it out. So far we've been in the $9-13 range for presents, including taxes.. Prior to this, it was me going online, looking at 293847298 things, deciding I'd rather buy Y than X, even if it is $5 more, showing DD a few options, and spending $20-30 a kid.

[mustardseed2007]

Jan 19, 2018 11:48:42 GMT -5 k3am said:

Activities planned? Ballet and a Pump It Up party. We'll also be making a stop off at Michael's to buy a present for the next PIU party. And house stuff. Endless house stuff. I think we may take some steps to get the yard looking better this weekend. I already want to find excuses.

Whoever gave me the Michael's tip for presents... (2chatter ?) THANK YOU. The limited supply of stuff and a 40% of coupon has really been helpful. I give her a $15 limit and she picks it out. So far we've been in the $9-13 range for presents, including taxes.. Prior to this, it was me going online, looking at 293847298 things, deciding I'd rather buy Y than X, even if it is $5 more, showing DD a few options, and spending $20-30 a kid.

I missed this before but this is brilliant. 

FFFC .... I'm regifting some christmas presents for the next month or so of birthdays b/c our kids got SO MUCH. My kid's don't even realize I'm doing it...

[k3am]

I think I've mentioned it here before, but my division is struggling right now. Seriously struggling. We're profitable (and nicely profitable) but our volumes and growth has stalled out.

Just got out of a discussion with my boss, and he's looking at having our analyst report to me vs. to my coworker, and pulling all his deals off of him and giving them to me so he can focus entirely on new business. They brought him in to do new business exclusively. In the nearly two years he's been here, he's only sourced one deal, which is why he's been managing deals. Which has been helpful for me, since my portfolio is generally pretty active and being able to manage that and work 40 hour weeks with flexibility has been great.

I'm worried about the analyst situation though. She started working here for him. She reports directly to him. They've worked together for multiple years and she's left multiple jobs to follow him. So if anything happens to him and she leaves? I can manage his portfolio. I can't manage all the collateral work for the combined portfolio on top of my regular work.

So yikes. Why does the boss man have to tell me this on a Friday???

[meagain]

Thank you all. My H did go speak to the school and her counselor is aware. Her and her sister talked to the boy and told him that that was not acceptable. It could have been an awkward attempt that is for sure. He has problems similar to my daughter. I think he is left on his own alot. I have never even met his parents. Thank you again.

[erinshelley21]

meagain, I am so sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this. Awkward attempt or not, it's still an uncomfortable situation.

[2chatter]

meagain - I hope the counselor discusses with him too - at least in my case, the boy was really ashamed and worried and generally lacked social skills. Now that I’m a parent it’s one of the memories that makes my heart hurt most. Good for your DDs for stepping up to discuss!

And I seriously don’t get these MIA parents in general - I know all of my kids’ friends parents but there have been several kids whose parents were totally not interested - how can they be so disinterested??? DD isn’t allowed to hang out with one boy because I really think he lives alone most of the time - at 13. So hard to understand!

[mommyatty]

meagain, bless your daughter’s heart. How awful and confusing and scary.

This is fun. With my strep, I felt totally fine yesterday until last night. I fell asleep, then woke up when DH came to bed. I went downstairs to get water and take my antibiotic, and I passed out cold. Poor DH heard the crash and came downstairs. I came to fairly quickly. But poor DH was afraid I was dead. So I’m taking it easy today. I’ve been dizzy a couple of times, but no more actual passing out. So yay?

[erinshelley21]

All the files, documents and keys have been returned. I left before he got here per the suggestion of my brother. I came back while he was still here and had zero interaction with him. He and my brother made a gentleman's agreement that he would not go after any more of our clients. Bro says he doesn't really believe him and I said well that's good since a gentleman's agreement is why we are here.

He even brought back a certain form that needs to be turned in for a couple clients that impacts how much they are charged. These require some leg work that he doesn't know how to do and I have all supporting documentation that he would need and are clients that have already stated they are going with him. I'm just trying to decide if I do right by the client or be petty AF and refuse to turn it in. I'll probably find a middle ground and not turn it in until like the day before it's due.

As for weekend plans, grocery and out to eat tonight. Tomorrow is basketball and hopefully getting the house in order since it's a wreck.