Monday celebrations/vents

[mustardseed2007]

xctsclrx, I'm sorry.

[mustardseed2007]

I guess I'll put a random here:

I made myself a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and I just ate it and I'm still starving. This is not a good sign for the day.

Also, both my kids wore christmas shirts to school today. I'm going to miss DS being in montessori b/c of stuff like this. No one bats an eye. Although I'm sure it's an age thing also.

[k3am]

Neither a celebration or a vent. Totally random.

I just bought these for my house and now I'm questioning it since... they clearly are very, very different. They won't be in the same room, so it's not too weird right???

[librarychica]

I am sorry to hear about all the illness and stress in this thread. Hugs, everyone, especially @mae011, HeartofCheese and 2chatter and her sick kid. H left for a business trip this morning and I told him if he gets to flu in one of the many airports to not come home until he is well. 😷 With your shield or on it, honey!

traveltheworld, I think we have kids of similar ages? I am having the same problem. We are “done” but H keeps putting off the vasectomy and I am not pushing it. He’s neutral (if lazy about medical things) on the subject, the ambivalence is all me.

[librarychica]

It’s Tuesday, but my celebration is I have lost enough weight that I need new slacks. My vent is that I hate shopping and need new slacks.

[HeartofCheese]

xctsclrx, so sorry about your SFIL. I hope he pulls it out.

[librarychica]

xctsclrx, I’m sorry. I hope he recovers.

[shakinros]

Not weird k3am. I like them both!

xctsclrx I’m sorry about your SFIL. I hope they can stabilize the lung without surgery.

[186momx]

k3am, I like it and if they are going in different rooms who cares that they are totally different styles. Each room can have its own theme/feel.

T&Ps for everyone

DD's teacher is out sick today. She let us know yesterday afternoon. She had 11 kids absent with the flu yesterday that is 31% of DD class. So far I've been lucky and DD hasn't gotten sick and we are doing everything we can to prevent us from getting ill. I feel like I'm 2chatter but with no sick kid.

[traveltheworld]

Jan 23, 2018 11:38:31 GMT -5 librarychica said:

I am sorry to hear about all the illness and stress in this thread. Hugs, everyone, especially @mae011, HeartofCheese and 2chatter and her sick kid. H left for a business trip this morning and I told him if he gets to flu in one of the many airports to not come home until he is well. 😷 With your shield or on it, honey!

traveltheworld , I think we have kids of similar ages? I am having the same problem. We are “done” but H keeps putting off the vasectomy and I am not pushing it. He’s neutral (if lazy about medical things) on the subject, the ambivalence is all me.

DS is 5.5 and DD is 2.75.  I can't remember the age of your kids?

I really want a third, for no other reason than the fact that I want one and I don't feel "complete" yet.  But, it makes no sense from a financial, energy, or time point of view.  And I'm worried the age gap would be too big between the kids.

[shakinros]

Tuesday vent - PDQ, I’m going to delete this later.

*poof*

Short version: SOS, my H did a bad thing and I’m super upset about it.

[librarychica]

Jan 23, 2018 12:00:48 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

Jan 23, 2018 11:38:31 GMT -5 librarychica said:

I am sorry to hear about all the illness and stress in this thread. Hugs, everyone, especially @mae011, HeartofCheese and 2chatter and her sick kid. H left for a business trip this morning and I told him if he gets to flu in one of the many airports to not come home until he is well. 😷 With your shield or on it, honey!

traveltheworld , I think we have kids of similar ages? I am having the same problem. We are “done” but H keeps putting off the vasectomy and I am not pushing it. He’s neutral (if lazy about medical things) on the subject, the ambivalence is all me.

DS is 5.5 and DD is 2.75.  I can't remember the age of your kids?

I really want a third, for no other reason than the fact that I want one and I don't feel "complete" yet.  But, it makes no sense from a financial, energy, or time point of view.  And I'm worried the age gap would be too big between the kids.

They’re 6 and 3. Ditto to everything you said. Plus I’d like to travel at some point and it is just starting to seem feasible. And plus also we would either need to cancel our spring Caribbean cruise (the kids first big vacation!) or wait until well after to try which would put us with a 4/7 or 5/8 year age gap.

But I can’t stop wanting another child, even though it seems like a not great idea. Then I worry that even if we have a third I’ll want a fourth. Like my baby-wanting switch is flipped and won’t un-flip.

[librarychica]

Oh no, shakinros. I’m so sorry. I would be feeling what you’re feeling right now.

[2chatter]

shakinros - my ex getting himself into that state one night was the nail in the coffin of our marriage. I’m sorry

traveltheworld - helpful/not helpful - mine are almost 14, 10 and almost 6. They are all buddies. Saturday morning before the women’s march the oldest and youngest watched a documentary. That afternoon oldest and middle watched a movie in bed together and middle and youngest listened to me read for three hours on Sunday. They wrestle, play soccer, read to each other, watch shows, color together, build blanket forts, make intricate things out of cardboard boxes, go to the playground - all without me. It’s the exact upside I pined for as an only child. Don’t worry about the age difference!

[akafred]

shakinros, that completely sucks. I would be feeling the same. Is this a pattern of this kind of behavior?

[k3am]

shakinros, how often is it happening?

[shakinros]

akafred it’s rare but not unheard of. Maybe 3-4 times in the last 18 months. Pretty sure I’ve done my part in enabling by being mad at the time and then getting over it.

[k3am]

shakinros, also, not to be an ass, but aren't you TTC? Did it just dissolve quickly, or was it a return to prior behaviors he'd avoided for a while, or was last night just the slap in the face that you needed to realize what a big problem it's become?

[akafred]

shakinros, what is it specifically about this behavior that bothers you? The intensity? The frequency? The timing? That it interferes with you and your family in specific ways? That he maybe has a "problem" that starts with an "a"? I think you need to explore that and have a HTH with him and make sure you clearly express your expectations around this.

[shakinros]

You’re not being an ass to mention that k3am. It’s front of my mind too. I always wanted a second kid more than he did but maybe I should be pulling the plug on that dream. I’ll find out Monday what the status of this cycle is.

He’s not a well person, in general. [snip] This guy has had massive obstacles in his life and I ought to be more supportive but I’m all out of support to give. I’m surreptitiously google National Assoc of Mental Illness support groups on my work computer.

[2chatter]

shakinros - I am so sorry. We conceived DD when I was done. We went on a vacation that we already planned and ... that happened, after a couple years of trying, when we were not trying. It ended up not being the best or worst thing, and if you ever want to know more about that I’m happy to share my experience.

Understanding his challenges will help you (hopefully) feel less responsible for him and more free to either continue or move on.

[mae0111]

shakinros, I'm sorry. No advice, but I'm sorry.

[justcheckingin73]

xctsclrx, I’m so sorry about your SFIL. 

shakinros, also sorry to hear about your DH. 

[polecat8]

shakinros, mae0111, and HeartofCheese, I hope you guys can get some peace with your H/XH's.

xctsclrx, I'm sorry about your SFIL.

We're here for you!

[polecat8]

DD got an expander put on the roof of her mouth yesterday. She was a trooper through the whole thing! Only a few tears when it came time to turn the crank once! She is having a little trouble eating and speaking, but is slowly adjusting. 1 day down, only 29 more to go with it. Then she can move on to braces.

[waverly]

Sorry to hear about the illnesses and husband problems in this thread. I hope everyone recovers.

k3am I would be pushing them more on meds. DS was hospitalized with bronchiolitis. It's not a just get over it type thing IMO.

My troubles don't seem that bad. Just praying I don't get DS's stomach virus. Oh and we popped a tire. And DH has to figure out how to make the Pinewood Derby car by Friday night.

[covergirl82]

shakinros, I'm so sorry. MH's dad was an alcoholic; MIL divorced him when MH was around 8 years old. The final straw for MIL was when MH's dad threatened to commit suicide. (MH remembers seeing his dad pointing a gun at himself. It was pretty traumatic, but MH doesn't have any PTSD about it.) I think MH's dad was just very unhappy with his life at the time (which doesn't excuse his behavior by any means, but I wanted to put that out there to frame why he threatened suicide). He and MIL were not really compatible and he didn't want kids, but for some reason he failed to tell MIL that until she was already pregnant (with twins). MH's dad is still alive, and he either isn't alcoholic anymore or is high functioning, although we don't see him enough to really know. Is your H open to counseling, or are you open to counseling together? If you are just ready to be done, though, that is completely understandable (and I'm basing that on stories that MIL has shared). We are here for you and support you!

[traveltheworld]

shakinros, that sounds really rough. I'm sorry.

[supertrooper1]

shakinros, I'm sorry it got to this point. DH gave up drinking cold turkey all on his own. He was a mellow drunk. Without drinking, he's a "dry drunk," so in my case, it's not any better.

[shakinros]

What’s a “dry drunk” supertrooper1 ? I’ve never heard that term before.