I talked to my H’s psychiatrist this week, who very kindly told me that the week after someone has just started taking anxiety and depression meds for the first time in their lives is no kind of time to be making major decisions. I cannot assume intent behind any crazy episodes in the first month or two when they’re trying to figure out the medication regiment.
I’m kind of appeased and kind of pissy about this.
He is very very contrite. I said it was unacceptable to me for that incident to happen anywhere our child is, never mind if she was asleep and missed the whole thing. He gets it but lord knows if he can avoid it happening again in 4-6mos. I wish I could send him to a desert island with his psychiatrist for the next two months.
I get to POAS on Monday. FFThC: I still hope it’s positive.
So I just POAS and got a bfp. DH and I had just started TTC, and I wasn’t exactly expecting this to happen on the first try. I’m half yay and half freaking out that I don’t know if we’re really ready for 3.
Congrats! It happened our first money with Ds2 too!
Post by erinshelley21 on Jan 25, 2018 21:35:13 GMT -5
mae0111 I am so sorry that it is coming to this. As others have said, your kids might surprise you. And more often than not, if a dad comes out smelling like a rose, it's only for a little bit and then the kids realize he's not as fantastic as he appeared to be and mom was always the awesome one.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jan 25, 2018 22:12:58 GMT -5
Our "damage control" trip was successful. client #1 has been asking Asshole to do things to his policy for a couple years and he wouldn't, so that one was easy. By the time we left #2 he went from wanting to go with him to ready to sign had my brother asked but he's not as pushy as I am lol #3 was a waste I think since he doesn't have anything anymore #4 Was concerned about the fact we showed him things asshole never once mentioned in 4 years 5 & 6 didn't ask about him one time #7 though was awesome! Asshole had them sign apps for him, they didn't realize it, the biz has been transferred out but we can bring them back. They signed apps, letters saying they want to be with us, increased their insurance and added 400 acres, which is the size of one that asshole is walking away with.
All in all, I'm pleased. I can't wait until that last one is back in our system and out of his.
Post by HeartofCheese on Jan 26, 2018 9:00:51 GMT -5
mae0111, one thing that helped me a lot was imagining how bad things would be for the kids if life as we knew it continued. If there will be lots of fighting, the kids will always be focused on winning vs. communicating. If one parent is bad, the other parent will always be a subpar parent b/c they are compensating and too stressed out to do their best parenting. If one parent is making the home unsafe, the kids will always be in danger. I have no idea what happened with your H, but it sounds like this is one of those things that only your H can work out in order to make your family whole. If he's not going to do it, then...he shouldn't be around as if it's normal to be dealing with whatever the issue is.
FWIW, my kids' behavior has vastly improved since we decided to divorce. I see relief in their faces every time my H starts in on me and I don't engage. Before, when I was constantly trying to manage my H and make things better, I don't think my kids saw any difference between me and him. I don't say that to put responsibility on you, but just to say that splitting can be a better option than staying together.
saraml13 , congrats!! mae0111 , sorry things aren't any better. I hope that you are able to reach a resolution that you are both at peace with.
We still haven't figured out where DD is going to school next year. We will be notified at the beginning of March if DD received one of the lottery spots we applied for so I don't want to make any decisions till then but the uncertainty is driving me crazy.
SFIL is still in the hospital, but according the the xrays his leak in his lung is healed and they are removing his tube today (fingers crossed) however he still has C-diff which means I can't see him due to the baby. I am going to talk to my doctor next week (anatomy scan!!) and ask how many days he has to be clear for me to be around him. DS still can't be around him until he as been healthy for awhile. We don't want to expose SFIL to daycare germs.
Coworker- OMG her DH now wants to work everything out. I think he realized that he can't afford to live on his own and keep his house, so now he is playing nice. IDK. I am not there, but I don't see this ending well. I'll keep you guys posted.