Post by HeartofCheese on Jan 25, 2018 9:15:35 GMT -5
Because I've got one.
I felt good about the meeting with the attorney for the kids, but it's hard to say how it went. I don't know the woman and I gave her a lot of info. But in terms of speaking my own truth (thank you very much, Oprah), I feel good about it.
You guys know how much DH is gone. He’s coming home early today for Science Fair and Multicultural Night at the elementary. AND he will be home for a week in February for DS’ birthday. I need to plan some GNOs for that week!
So this is as good as anyplace to put it. My class just got into a pretty heated debate on homosexuality. Very religious and some openly gay. I am only there once a week, and it was the end of class. I hope I handled correctly, trying to acknowledge feelings and encourage communication, but I hope no one left with hurt feelings. I didn't get to check in with them all because the bell rang. I guess I will pull a couple to the side next class and see if they need to talk. Ugh... we were having such good discussion up until then.
Vent: Today I learned that no one I work with outside my division (5 people) has any clue what I do. Just had someone come to my desk and tell me "Oh, we signed you up for this training and but just found out that in addition to underwriting, you also manage a couple deals for your boss..."
Buddy. No. Not only do I underwrite, I manage half the effing portfolio. And I do it without any effing collateral support. I am... UGH. I have "VP" in my title for a reason, asshole. I realize that there are a lot of portfolio managers who JUST manage the portfolio, but I do both, damn it! I do MORE and am apparently viewed as less.
Post by traveltheworld on Jan 25, 2018 12:46:26 GMT -5
My on-going sofa return saga: after another 45 minutes on the phone, I finally have the return pick-up scheduled, albeit for February 6. So hopefully this will actually happen.
DS has been acting like a spoiled and narcissistic brat. I don't know if he is just being your typical boundary-pushing 5 year old, but I'm so done lecturing him. I told him this morning that we are now moving on to direct consequences with no further explanationss. If he is rude to us or mean to his sister, he is going to his room straight away.
DH and I really haven't spoken much about what happened over the weekend. He did try to turn it around on me a little, and I was able to shut it down. I'm still in the guest room, and I'm really sad about the whole thing. He did tell me last night that he was looking for an apartment.
This has been an ongoing issue in our marriage, but it hasn't been this awful for 10 years. We've had conversations about it probably twice a year. Sometimes things would get better temporarily, other times he'd dig in his heels and tell me that I was too uptight or controlling. This time, he swears he's going to make a change. But I just don't think I believe him anymore.
2chatter I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right yet. He’s considering it with very little conversation and without thinking about counseling. He’s very anti-counseling so that might not be a possibility.
I’m not angry anymore. I’m just sad. I’m sad that it’s come to this, and that this is my life. I’m sad that my kids might not have their dad around as much. I’m sad that I probably need to go back to work much sooner than I thought. I’m sad that the kids will blame me for going back when they love having me home, and that he will come out of this smelling like roses to them.
mae0111 - you might be surprised! Kids are super resilient, so don’t count them out yet! My ten year old out of nowhere thanked me for working and making sure we don’t have to move like her Dad does. Courtesy of a new friend who started at her school in the Fall and her family is moving again.
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 25, 2018 15:53:39 GMT -5
Hugs to you, mae0111! I am thinking the same thing as twinmomma about counseling. And maybe counseling will give you some good tips for responding to questions from your kids, approaching them about changes, etc.
mae0111, Creepy internet hugs also. And a second as to kids being more resilient than you think.
Also, has anyone had their tonsils out as an adult? I went to the ENT today, and he suggested it as an option. Essentially we could take them out now if I really wanted to, but otherwise he would like to wait and see and probably take them out this summer. He mentioned a 2 week recovery time, and that it is many times worse in adults than children. Apparently my tonsils looks like icebergs, they only show a little bit at first but are huge in the back.
phdmomma - I would second opinion that! I have cryptic tonsils and the suggestion was made but nope, the second doctor said the recovery is awful. I had my wisdom teeth out as an adult and had to use STD it was so bad. One entire side of my face was purple and I was totally down and on pain meds for over a week.
2chatter, That would be the term he used for mine "cryptic tonsils". I just had a really awful infection that couldn't be treated by a first line antibiotic and had to be treated by a more obscure one with some awful side effects, which is why I had a follow up with the ENT. I think that he is worried that the next infection might not respond to antibiotics. But said that we could take the wait and see approach if I really wanted to and follow up in 6 months. Which is what I want to go with, doing the professor thing makes it hard to have surgery with long recovery times during the semester, so if I need them out I want to wait until summer break.
mae0111, children will surprise you. They understand a lot more of the dynamic of grown up relationships than we want to give them credit for. At the end of the day, even if they don't realize it immediately, you'll know that you're doing what you think is best for your family.
mae0111 kids are smart. As someone whose parents waited before divorcing, never had counseling, and grew more bitter by the year, I remember thinking at a young age, why are these people together. Would my life had been better if they split, idk, but I knew it what I had was bad. If he won't even try counseling, I'm not sure what you can so but take care of yourself and kids.
phdmomma - literally the same scenario medically! I put it off and have had zero infections since. If I get a sinus infection or drainage I gargle with salt water, but that’s the only thing I changed.
So I just POAS and got a bfp. DH and I had just started TTC, and I wasn’t exactly expecting this to happen on the first try. I’m half yay and half freaking out that I don’t know if we’re really ready for 3.
saraml13 - congrats!! Three is super fun and I never thought I would say that!! And I got pregnant with my oldest literally the first time it was possible so I get the mixed emotions! One convo about a theoretical baby and BOOM BFP - it can be overwhelming!