Weekend stuff

[waverly]

I'm dying my hair because of gray hair so entertain me!

Yesterday I had to work, then we tried a friends 14 year old daughter over for babysitting last night. It went well except the time DS opened the bathroom door on DH. Despite me telling DS don't open the door daddy is in there. Ugh. I don't know why DH didn't grab the handle and lock it because he heard what I said to DS. I guess he assumed he would stop? So hopefully she will babysit again? DH was grumpy during the date but at least tried to reign it in after the third time of me saying I don't want to argue and I deserve to have fun.

Today is the stupid pinewood derby race that my overachieving husband has been stressing about all week. Then I have a play date. I really wish I could take a day off next week since I am having a one day weekend, but I really need to bring people in for interviews and get someone hired at work.

[supertrooper1]

I'm at work, which is a good thing since DH has a man cold and is grumpy at home.

Would you be ok if your spouse took a non-work vacation to a tropical island without you? My coworker had a big fight with her boyfriend and it's been the topic of conversation for the last 2 days. She is going with a friend to the Canary Islands on vacation for almost 2 weeks. He can't get the time off from work and he is mad, almost to the point of a break up, that she is going without him. She thinks since he traveled extensively before they met and she hasn't, that she deserves to go and he should be happy for her. I'm torn and don't know what to tell her. I see her BF's POV, but also think she should go and have fun.

[waverly]

Most likely no. DH was offered this once for business school and I said no because we didn't really have the money because he was going to school, and he would have left like 1 day after our cross country move for his business school, so no. He would have missed out on a pre business school accounting class, and I had to start my new job.

Now, I might be ok with a weekend away but having the kids by myself for two weeks- nope. I am assuming they don't have kids which makes it a different situation.

[supertrooper1]

waverly, no, no kids.

[akafred]

I don't see anything weird or wrong with a girl's trip under some circumstances. I know people who do that with sisters or close girlfriends, and even if they are leaving kids with spouses I don't think anything bad about it. I think to be the judge in this particular case I would have to know more details about his concerns.

[twinmomma]

Girl's trip seems reasonable, but the length seems excessive. I'd be mad at that more than the fact the she's going away.

[supertrooper1]

Jan 28, 2018 10:51:59 GMT -5 akafred said:

I don't see anything weird or wrong with a girl's trip under some circumstances. I know people who do that with sisters or close girlfriends, and even if they are leaving kids with spouses I don't think anything bad about it. I think to be the judge in this particular case I would have to know more details about his concerns.

I think he's jealous that she is going without him.  It's her gay best friend that is paying for the trip.  She just has to pay for food once she gets there and a plane ticket to his airport across the country. I think the money issue is bothering him too. She makes 3-4 times what he does.  They live in the house that she bought before they met, but she makes him pay rent. After expenses he apparently is left with $80 out of each paycheck for groceries or any other expenses, fun or not.

[mustardseed2007]

It's hard to judge b/c their relationship is not one that I would have. Like no judgment, seriously, you do you, but the set up you described creates a dynamic that is hard for me to get.

Which I guess leads me to this thought - if I had a boyfriend who I lived with and paid rent to and he went on a 2 week trip without me...I would think that overall he was not that into the relationship and he was not that in to me.

If it was a guy that I was seeing and didn't live with and he went on a 2 week vacation without me, it would stink that I couldn't go but our relationship was obviously not at the point that it was so serious that we weren't super independent from each other. So no it wouldn't bother me unless I wanted the relationship to be more serious than that.

If it was my husband, the length of the trip would be a no go - and that's whether or not we had kids and whether or not we could afford the trip.

[mustardseed2007]

Weekend thing: I had my 10 mile trail run yesterday and I had so. much. fun. I started looking for another one and realized how far flung the races are. Yesterday's run was an hour drive. No big deal.

Looking at the next several we are talking 3-5 hours away for a race. So that sucks.

[mustardseed2007]

Jan 28, 2018 11:33:51 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

Jan 28, 2018 10:51:59 GMT -5 akafred said:

I don't see anything weird or wrong with a girl's trip under some circumstances. I know people who do that with sisters or close girlfriends, and even if they are leaving kids with spouses I don't think anything bad about it. I think to be the judge in this particular case I would have to know more details about his concerns.

I think he's jealous that she is going without him.  It's her gay best friend that is paying for the trip.  She just has to pay for food once she gets there and a plane ticket to his airport across the country. I think the money issue is bothering him too. She makes 3-4 times what he does.  They live in the house that she bought before they met, but she makes him pay rent. After expenses he apparently is left with $80 out of each paycheck for groceries or any other expenses, fun or not.

See that's unsustainable. I wonder how much rent he pays compared to how much he'd have to pay for an apartment. 

I get it though. Especially if she has a mortgage and what not. 

[2chatter]

I think the trip issue is really about the lack of equality in pay/spending money.

In my 20s I would have been like hell no. Now, two weeks is nothing, go have fun.

[mommyatty]

She doesn’t have a boyfriend. She has a boarder that she happens to have sex with. Really? She charges him that much rent? Wtf?

When DH and I were dating, he went to spend 10 days with one of his BFFs who had moved to California. I had no issue with that. But now? With our joint money and kids? No. I wouldn’t be okay with that. I wouldn’t do it to him, nor would I be okay with him doing it without me.

On the other hand, my MIL went to Greece with a friend when DH was in fifth grade. She was there for 6 weeks and got college credit. Then she took an additional 2 week cruise to cap off the trip. Considering she was a SAHM whose husband had encouraged her and was paying for her to go to college, I thought that was really selfish and shitty. But since FIL hated leaving him house to go more than an hour away, it’s not like he felt he was missing out.

[akafred]

Yeah, the trip isn't the problem. The relationship dynamics are the problem.

[librarychica]

Jan 28, 2018 15:37:01 GMT -5 akafred said:

Yeah, the trip isn't the problem. The relationship dynamics are the problem.

This. I would not have blinked an eye if H vacationed without me when we were dating. He did a few times, in fact, though only a week at a time. I wouldn’t actually mind now either but would prefer no more than a long weekend or maybe a tad longer if it is something special.

[sandandsea]

I’m a room mom for ds’s K class and we are making playdoh as the craft for the Valentine’s Day party. One of the moms wrote a three screen long text about how we should buy playdoh and they can just play with it during the party and her daughter (not even in the class) made roses without a mold even with playdoh. 🙄. So many thoughts. It’s the craft part of the party, they make something, buying them playdoh isn’t crafting. Making the playdoh is what makes it fun and unique for the party. I’m doing all the work to premeasure the ingredients so they will only choose a glitter and add water to mix it in their baggie. Also we already had a plan, told the teacher, etc. why change it? This mom eats crackers. Big ones.

[waverly]

Jan 28, 2018 17:38:58 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

I’m a room mom for ds’s K class and we are making playdoh as the craft for the Valentine’s Day party. One of the moms wrote a three screen long text about how we should buy playdoh and they can just play with it during the party and her daughter (not even in the class) made roses without a mold even with playdoh. 🙄. So many thoughts. It’s the craft part of the party, they make something, buying them playdoh isn’t crafting. Making the playdoh is what makes it fun and unique for the party. I’m doing all the work to premeasure the ingredients so they will only choose a glitter and add water to mix it in their baggie. Also we already had a plan, told the teacher, etc. why change it? This mom eats crackers. Big ones.

I just read a book called Class Mom that I think all the room moms have to read. It's pretty funny.

Caveat- don't read if your child has allergies because it is offensive. They do make sure the food is allergy free, but she is offensive.

[shakinros]

waverly I also read Class Mom recently and really enjoyed it.

[sandandsea]

I just added it to my list. . It might make me crazy though. We have all religious, allergy, and every other food limitation in our class (even pears) but this is the only cracker eating mom.

[rere]

The kids and I went to a soup cookoff today and had a lot of fun and some great soup. The weather was awesome for January today so I got to run outside. Dd ran 2 miles with me and is super proud.

Played volleyball Friday, but the drunk mother daughter duo was on my team, so we didn't do so well.

I had a rare Saturday home last night and really enjoyed it, watched some dvr shows, read a book. Until, one of the queen bees that kind of dropped me and some others (kind of a pattern), snapped me a pic of a get together at her house. WTH? I snapped her back a picture of my house. She was all chatty today, but I blew her off. As we say, ain't nobody got time for that crap.

[mustardseed2007]

We ran into a couple neighbors today. The neighbor whose kid isn't super athletic told me she signed her kid up for the more serious league in our area...she was the LAST person I knew who was doing church league. So I guess we're deciding to sign DS up for it also. I feel like I need all the thoughts and prayers now. We're going from one weekly practice + a saturday game to weeknight practice + week night game + weekend game.

Ugh. It's too much. But everyone says that the kids learn the best this way and it's "just amazing" how they blossom and it's "just awesome" how many people you meet.

We better make a shit ton of friends and my kid better be Jeter by the end of this thing.

[akafred]

I don't really think this deserves its own post so I am putting it here. DD has been saying that she hates her aftercare teacher. (Note: Aftercare has been an issue since forever, with lots of different teachers in various schools. It's a hard time of day in general, kids and teachers are tired, and it's always been DD's witching hour. She has had a few aftercare teachers who are pretty good, and a few who have been awful, and some in the middle. Whereas main school teachers have been really great. Also note my kid is hard. I know this.) DD says the teacher is mean and should be fired. I have never observed anything especially bad. I've seen her fuss at other kids a little harshly. I've seen her be more patient than I even expected with DD. But DD hates her and says the owner should fire her.

We had a playdate with another kiddo and her mom yesterday, and the mom brought up the aftercare teacher, asked what I thought of her. I said aftercare is always hard for C. And she said the teacher is *mean* (with emphasis) to DD. She said it isn't so much the words but the tone, and that she isn't very patient with her. I am really glad she said something because now I know DD isn't just being dramatic. But I don't think there is much I could or should do. Le sigh.

[saraml13]

If you want to hear something funny, ask your Hs what size shoes your kids wear.

DH put DS1’s new shoes on DS2. Of course, it’s not like he would ever look at the shoe sizes anyway to try to figure it out.

Me: what size shoes do the boys wear?
DH: 4??
Me: which one?
DH: DS1?
Me: DS1 wears 8 and DS2 wears 6.
DH: I was close...

[justcheckingin73]

That’s really odd, mustardseed2007. I don’t even know what to say - especially about their living arrangements. 

DH is also clueless about the kids sizes - clothes or shoes, he has no idea. In fact he gets my clothes and DDs clothes mixed up when doing laundry. I outweigh her by more than 50 lbs so this amuses me.

The weekend went by in a flash. DD had a sleepover on Friday night, DS had a basketball game on Saturday morning and then it was mostly a lazy day although I did declutter our hutch. DD had her first babysitting job for a neighbor - 6 until midnight. It was rough trying to stay up waiting for her.

Sunday was a 5 mile run, laundry, signing up and shopping at Costco (DH really wanted to do this but I think it’s going to be a mistake as he tends to go crazy in that store). I also had an eye appointment and had to go to Target for some additional items we didn’t get at Costco. We are fully stocked for sure.

[2chatter]

justcheckingin73 - I literally thought I might die from trying to stay awake the first time DD babysat at night!!

DD had a crazy good soccer game this weekend - nothing anyone else would notice, but she challenged girls who probably had 25 pounds and two inches on ME and stole the ball (a few times, two different girls). I know DD is small but the size of some of these fourth graders is crazy — and it wasn’t like this four years ago when my oldest was in fourth. Tall girls yes, but not so many this tall, and very few that were well developed and adult size. It does crack me up as some of the refs don’t know how to call it - was DD drawing a foul? Was she fouled? (In cases where DD literally bounces off some of the sizeable players and eats turf).

[covergirl82]

saraml13, ha ha! That would MH too. I asked him to pack the kids' lunches last Friday because he was helping out at school all day, and given his reaction, you would have thought I asked him to make a gourmet meal without a recipe!

We had a pretty good weekend. DH and DS both have colds, so they stayed home to rest while DD and I ran errands Saturday morning. Later that afternoon DD had a birthday party to go to. Sunday DD and I went to church (DH and DS stayed home again to rest) and then I read and took a nap in the afternoon.

[justcheckingin73]

2chatter, it was really hard. DH and I binged on Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and actually watched SNL live. I don’t look forward to when she goes out on the weekends. 

On a side note, I feel a little bad about how much they paid her. The mom texted me that she had reached out to her regular babysitter and she hadn’t gotten back to them so she was asking if DD babysat. DD and I talked and we decided that $5 would be a good start since it’s her first job. I never told the mom and figured they would ask DD. They paid her $10/hour! It is the going rate but I still feel bad that they paid her so much. At the same time, I figured that’s what they pay their regular babysitter and that’s what they were expecting to pay that night. If they ask again, do I split the difference and explain that we talked and thought $7 was a good start? Or do I let them pay her what they want? #newb

[2chatter]

justcheckingin73 - DD has gotten some CRAZY compensation. She’s gotten a $50 tip (the family was stuck in traffic and two hours late so DD got home at 1:30am), $15/hour, a flat rate of $40 because the mom only had twenties and DD was there just over two hours. It bothered me until I realized I do things like this - pay our sitter for a week when she was here 2.5 days, or pay a sitter $10/hour with a $20 tip.....I am laissez faire about it now.

[twinmomma]

justcheckingin73, Just roll with it. Sometimes we have kids who are more "professional" and tell us their hourly rate. Other times we just tell the kids "This is what we'll pay for that block of time." I think you'll find that families are all different with how they handle it. We do a lot of "rounding up" too, since we usually just have 20s from the ATM.

[covergirl82]

justcheckingin73, I checked a local FB page for what babysitters are typically paid in my area. It's usually about $10/hr. I cap it at $40. Now that my kids are older, I'll probably start capping it at $30 for any new-to-us babysitters because my kids are getting older and are generally pretty easy.

[justcheckingin73]

Thanks twinmomma and 2chatter , I won’t worry about it. I’ll just be jealous that DD makes 5 times the amount I did when I babysat

ETA, covergirl82 - I agree with that. Plus, these kids were sleeping for about 1/2 the time she was there so I thought it would be less but hey - sometimes you can’t put a price on being away from the kids for a night!