@ randoms week of 1/29

[bk1]

A lot of family missed the party because they were sick, but overall it went really well. So happy with how the cake turned out. My baby is 3!!!!


Pdq pics

[luv2rn4fun]

bk1- happy birthday G!! That cake looks amazing! Way to go mama!

[estrellita]

bk1 love the cake and she is adorable! I can't believe she's 3 because that means E is almost 3 too!

[HoneySpider]

Blue Moon, I'm so sorry

bk1 that cake looks amazing, great job!

[amaranth]

Blue Moon how awful. I'm so sorry it's so much harder when kids are involved and you just want to protect her little heart

bk1 awesome job!!

[pooh8402]

bk1, what a beautiful cake!

[awick14]

((Blue Moon)) I’m so sorry. 😞

estrellita- that would drive me crazy. Urg

bk1- that’s amazing!!!

We have spent a few hours each day with my sister and niece who are in town for my nieces hockey tourney. It’s been a good weekend. 🙂

[Blue Moon]

Thanks for the support everyone. We have lots of distractions this weekend which is good.

bk1 that cake is amazing! I’m impressed. Happy birthday to G!

[estrellita]

Any recommendations for parenting books or even just blog posts? I'm at the end of my rope with E and his behavior. His screaming fits are out of control. He's hitting us, talking back, and just SCREAMING all the time. He's never content or happy unless we just give in which I'm trying so much not to do. Last night he went to bed without stories, no stuffed animals or books, and no Chase (his light next to his bed he messes with a lot), plus no TV at all today and a couple other toys taken away. I know he's tired because he won't nap anymore and he fell asleep at dinner but seriously. This is not normal. I just can't deal with him anymore and I don't know what to do. I just want to actually enjoy spending time with him instead of just fighting constantly. I feel like a terrible parent because I can't figure this out. Help??

[amaranth]

Feb 4, 2018 19:49:17 GMT -5 estrellita said:

Any recommendations for parenting books or even just blog posts? I'm at the end of my rope with E and his behavior. His screaming fits are out of control. He's hitting us, talking back, and just SCREAMING all the time. He's never content or happy unless we just give in which I'm trying so much not to do. Last night he went to bed without stories, no stuffed animals or books, and no Chase (his light next to his bed he messes with a lot), plus no TV at all today and a couple other toys taken away. I know he's tired because he won't nap anymore and he fell asleep at dinner but seriously. This is not normal. I just can't deal with him anymore and I don't know what to do. I just want to actually enjoy spending time with him instead of just fighting constantly. I feel like a terrible parent because I can't figure this out. Help??

It sounds like you're trying really hard   No great advice, but serious commiserations. M is 3 1/2 and 5 out of 7 days your description still fits him to a T. Three has been so much harder than two and it looks like you're quickly approaching that age. I can't remember any of the blogs or books I read because they've all been so random, but it seems like the most common advice is consistency, choose your battles, and walk away if you can't model good behavior yourself (so hard!). 

Even tonight after being gone for several days M was just a terror. He disobeyed everything I asked of him, screamed and threw fits about nothing, argued, and even tried running away at times. Little kids can just be awful some days... or most days. lol.

[estrellita]

amaranth I feel like we're pretty consistent and I do try to pick battles and give in when it's something not worth the fight. But even with consistency in his schedule and with discipline, it doesn't seem to work. His bedtime is the same every night, sometimes maybe up to a half hour later, but very very rarely more than that. He gets up the same time every day except weekends we let him sleep in a little. We do the same routine every time. Yet he still freaks out the minute we say it's bedtime (even if we've given him warning) or he just refuses to do whatever we ask. Or he'll get stuck on something and flip out if he doesn't get his way. Which I totally get is a normal thing for his age but he will just start screaming and yelling and has a really hard time calming down. I've tried getting him to breathe, count, give me a hug, etc but nothing seems to help. The only thing that seems to work is putting him in his room to calm down for a bit but I don't always like doing that or we don't have time to do that.

I should mention I have read 123 Magic and do use counting, although I don't use all of the ideas from that book. Counting does occasionally work but only temporarily.

[luv2rn4fun]

estrellita- totally normal. C is exactly the same way. I like the Janet Lansbury podcasts and articles because they make sense but there hasn’t been enough long term consistency to make it work. I also find that when I slow down, don’t react as much, am more patient, etc then C does better. Also, meals are a huge battle because he wants to play (he mostly grazes all day but I am solo for dinner and try to do that at the same time as L, which doesn’t always work)...anyways, something that has helped us asking him to take “X number” of bites. I do this frequently and he knows that dinner is gone once we start bath. He also won’t let DH do anything for him right now and it’s hard...they are constantly fighting whereas he’s much better with me. I think because him and DH butt heads and DH doesn’t pick his battles and isn’t as patient with him...or maybe it really is just a phase but it feels like more than that. C seems genuinely angry with DH but we can’t figure it out.

Anyways, I vote normal (even though I question how normal it is on a daily basis). My pediatrician actually recommends ignoring bad behavior...no reaction is better than a negative reaction. We tend to do timeouts in the pack n play but they don’t seem to work (we have tried his room as well and same result). I have heard that giving choices works and try that occasionally. A lot of this is all about having control and power struggles.

Hang in there. It will get better but it is so very hard right now (I totally feel for you as I am right there with you). ((Hugs))

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun we give choices all the time but that doesn't always work because he will decide on something that wasn't a choice ("do you want chicken nuggets or a corn dog?" "I want cereal!"). Or he will change his mind after the decision is made and flip out because he doesn't want it anymore. I usually try not to react too much to the bad behavior but it's definitely hard. I try really hard to focus on the positive by making sure to praise him when he's doing good things and trying to stay away from saying he's a good or bad person but instead focus on specific things. He had also been at ILs Fri night so that might partially be where the spoiled attitude came from. MIL seems to panic if either kid cries.. every time she's like "oh no, don't cry!" even to A. I'm like, they cry, it's fine, lol. So he probably got whatever he wanted and got used to that. To be fair, my mom does similar things so it's not just MIL but still. Though he has this attitude a lot anyways, so who knows. Everything is a huge battle when it shouldn't be and I feel stuck not knowing how to get out of this rut!