Brags 1/31

[akafred]

Time to hear some good things your kiddo is doing these days!

I don't have anything too major. Meds improvements have always been short lasting so I am learning not to be too optimistic, but we have added a tiny dose of short acting Ritalin to DD's meds. She also takes Strattera and guanfacine. Short acting Ritalin is the only stimulant that hasn't made DD's anxiety spike out of control.

So far, so good with the addition. She has been focusing like crazy at school in the morning (not surprisingly) and has taken initiative on work she normally doesn't enjoy. For example, she is memorizing math facts. The Montessori method is to use manipulatives for math until the child learns the math facts through repetition or it becomes too cumbersome to use the manipulatives and they choose to memorize the facts. So she has reached this point, which is amazing because her working memory isn't great and she isn't a fan of math in general. But even when the Ritalin has worn off, she is having an easier time in general because her confidence is higher. No more fretting about the first graders thinking she is stupid because she knows she can do third grade work. Hooray! Of course, will it last? We'll see... Next step is to add an afternoon dose and hope it doesn't make the anxiety worse also.

Even before starting Ritalin, she has been reading a lot better lately. She is reading "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", so IDK if it is the layout of the pages (more drawings and less words than most books at that level), the content (enjoyable to her), or the font (maybe easier to tell the letters apart if there is a dyslexia component?), but it is great to see her thriving again!

There was a terrible fire last week in an apartment complex near school. They are having a charity drive to collect items for those displaced, and Char was very generous with toys and clothes, even though we had just gone through everything over Christmas. Giving away ANYTHING, even baby clothes or toys, was something that really bothered her anxiety in the past.

Oh one more. She TALKED to me last night about something bothering her, which is so rare. She's been complaining about taking piano lessons lately, which she takes at school. She wants to quit and we encourage her to keep it up. She finally told me why: yes, it is hard and frustrating and boring, but also they pull her for her lesson at lunch or outside time, and she doesn't think it is fair. This is a big breakthrough! Instead of just arguing and complaining to me and, no doubt, making her piano teacher suffer, she opened up on the reason! So I encouraged her to ask her teacher or piano teacher why her lessons are during lunch or recess. I think that will be a challenge, but maybe she will. At least we are getting somewhere with the discussion.

[miranda]

akafred, I especially like the "TALKED" to me brag! That is awesome. DS won't talk to me about nearly anything. When he does, I can tell he has the facts confused (e.g. the teacher won't let me do that because she doesn't like me), so when I question him, he accuses me of not believing me and shuts down. Endless, vicious cycle.

No real "brags" here other than we've had a pretty easy couple months because DS has been off school and there's been so much "fun" stuff going on. We recently went on a week long cruise in the Caribbean which was lovely. It was with our extended family so he didn't get to do *exactly* what he wanted which was good. As an only child he's accustomed to being catered to his every whim. We went cliff jumping in Jamaica and he was terrified but did all of the jumps (with a life jacket). The guides we were with were awesome and DS behaved wonderfully.

Super Bowl is in town and DS is a rabid Patriots fan, so that's been fun. Last weekend we went to all the NFL-sponsored festivities and DS was in football heaven. DH reports that DS's knowledge of football rules and statistics has officially surpassed his own. Pie in the sky, I know, but I keep digging around looking for opportunities for him to be a youth equipment manager or some such in middle or high school.

He came in first place in the Pinewood Derby although I don't know if that's really a brag since he had so little to do with making the car. He chose the decorations and helped me glue them on (he enjoyed the razzing he got from the others about his "Tom Brady" car). DH drilled the holes and glued in the weights. DS was very pleased though and we're looking into taking him to the district-level derby. He has expressed interest in staying on in scouts after all. I discovered that his middle school has a Scouting program led by District staff that meets once a week after school. I'm hopeful this might be the "in" for him to stick with it.

After all this "fun" stuff is over the doldrums of winter will really set in and I'll have to re-up my efforts to make sure his IEP is being followed and find out what he's been up to the last couple months..

[akafred]

miranda, exactly. Or I don't "not believe her" but I don't respond with the outrage she expects lol. There is soooo much going on in her head that she just keeps up there, that if she shared could lead to real problem solving. I have had a few talks with her lately about how I am not a mind reader, and about what teachers or parents are thinking when she does this or that but they don't know the why, so maybe it is helping a little.

[funchicken]

DD1 got As on her last two Social Studies tests. DH loves history, so he's been studying with her--he was pretty pleased with himself

[waverly]

DS has graduated from leg work in physical therapy and is now working on arms, shoulders and hands. Basketball is going well. He is terrible at dribbling but stole the ball twice, got some rebounds, and made a shot. Pretty good for someone that has never played before.

[lemonberry]

DS got an award for good behavior at school. He's been washing his hair by himself which is a big change because water in his face is like the end of the world. And he apparently learned his months at some point and holidays that occur in them.

[freezorburn]

DS has been telling me about new friends at school that he would like to have over to our house for his in-home therapy sessions. It’s great to see him taking initiative.

Also, I’ve noticed that he has been replacing the toilet paper roll when it runs out, and when I take out the garbage he puts a new liner in the can. And I don’t even have to ask him! Maybe he’s a little OCD? In any case, he gets lots of praise and thanks for doing these things!

[auntie]

That time when you take a short trip and you leave your kid home to keep an eye on his grandmother instead of the other way around.

It's been a ridiculously difficult couple of months here. With dad's dementia worsening by the week and my mother burning out by the minute, we had to find an assisted living/memory care facility for dad. He's there now and settling in. Barely. At least he hasn't tried to slug me as one of his fellow residents did the other day. It's quite the process and I swear that I am having PTSD related to my sped days because I swear finding a "home" for a parent with dementia is almost exactly like finding a good lab school or special needs camp. The tours, the sales pitch and promises followed by rejection, the labeling clothing and the paperwork. So much paperwork. My mother's ADHD has flared under stress so I have had to be the frontal lobe for the pair of them and I am just fried.

DH and I are going to make a quick trip visit his surviving brother for a milestone birthday while leaving DS in charge of keeping an eye on my mother. Mother is generally OK, but she can't drive at night so DS would have to step up in an emergency. She's got a Valentine's event at the assisted living place and he'll have to take her. He's going to hate this, ha ha. He'd much rather go with his dad to visit the uncle and I'd much rather stay home, but oh well.

[akafred]

auntie, we just went through the same thing with my dad. It's so hard to watch the seemingly sudden decline in function. 9 months ago he could play board games and have a fairly normal conversation; now he speaks basically jibberish and doesn't know how to use a straw anymore. It's truly tragic. Sorry you are also dealing with it.

[bookishmomma]

Yesterday we unlocked a mom & son goal I've been working on with DS1 for the last 3 years: downhill skiing. I love to ski and grew up going with my family. I started skiing when I was 3, so I naively thought that was an appropriate age to start teaching DS1. (Given what I know now about his attention problems, that was ambitious if not insane.) But yesterday was the first day I started to see all of our hard work pay off! We were able to actually ski together on green runs, not the bunny hill, riding up the chairlift together and skiing all the way down, in control, without me having to hold onto him in a harness. I was so proud and genuinely had FUN being outside all day with my little dude. This felt like such a win, given all of the school meetings, doctor appointments, and stimulant trial & error we've been going through. I also got to experience one of the positives of having a kid with ADHD-- when he finds something he likes, he can go and go and go. I asked him multiple times if he was getting tired, if he wanted to go home, etc., thinking he'd jump at the chance, but he kept saying, "No, let's go up the lift again." Looks like it might snow again this coming weekend...

[auntie]

akafred, demenia is a bitch.

I recall a post a while back where you expressed concerns about your dad and driving. I'm sorry things are moving along so quickly for your family.

www.alzconnected.org has some great online support groups and information related to dementia. The folks there get it much as the people here do.

[akafred]

auntie, yeah that was probably like a year ago. A year ago he could drive. Now he is in a dementia care ward. He had his annual cognitive test back around August and he scored a 3. This was a 20-something drop from the previous year. It really came on like an express train. I mean, he had dementia. He would tell the same story over and over. He would forget a conversation you had a few weeks before. But now he is very incapacitated (he forgets more words than he remembers, some days, and it seems like he is talking jibberish), and it all happened in the last 6 months or so with this kind of velocity and intensity.

[auntie]

Wow. I am sorry. My dad has progressed but not at that rate.

In December of 2016, dad tested pretty close to average for a man his age/education level even though it was clear his reasoning and memory were impaired. He aced the MoCA as #45 did recently. In July 2017 he could count backwards by 7's on the MMSE as quickly as I can but had trouble with word-recall. After he toddled down to valet parking and climbed into the wrong car scaring the beejeezus out of the little old lady driving it while I was handing our ticket in. In December he had dropped considerably on his testing.