Valentine week chatter

[loira]

I'm so sorry, oneslybookworm.

[loira]

Ugh, IF is the fucking worst, pooh8402. Hugs to you.

cactuscookie, this is making me so upset for you and H, especially since I know you loved her old daycare. I know H is normally a daycare pro, but with the move it's a lot of change for her, so even though she's a pro, she might need to be treated like a newbie. I am a bit shocked at the ratio. 7 toddlers to 1 teacher seems way too much to handle. I know A's teacher sometimes finds it hard to keep things in order when one kid is having a hard time - and there are only 3 kids there. I agree with Mushe. Is there an in-home option you might be able to use? A smaller environment might be easier to process. If not, would the daycare be open to doing a much more gradual transition? Like maybe you bring her, stay with her for an hour and leave. Then the next day bring her, stay and hour and leave for 20 minutes. Then bring her and stay for 30 minutes, leave for an hour etc. Depending on your schedule this may not be an option, but just thought I'd suggest it. This is what we had to do for A when she started daycare, and probably what we'll have to do again when she eventually moves to the francophone daycare.

But really, even if there's nothing you can do, just remember she will be fine. It won't hurt her. You're a good mum, and she is ultimately better off living in a city that makes her parents much happier so it will be an eventual win. I know how stressful it can be though. Huge hugs.

[konapoppy]

I am so sorry oneslybookworm.

Hugs, Pooh.

[pooh8402]

cactuscookie, that's so hard, for you and H. We were in the same boat last year, where we moved (for the same reason, actually) and didn't have a chance to tour daycares before we moved. I had him on the waitlist for my hospital daycare, but in the meantime, we put him in a place that was highly rated and recommended (best of city award, good reviews on Google and Facebook) that had an opening.

Omg we hated it and E hated it. It was loud, crazy, it smelled like pee and the teachers didn't seem very attentive. Both DH and I had bad feelings about it from the start. Our last straw was the day that we came to pick up E and he was crying on the playground (which he doesn't do, he loves the playground). They told us, "that's just what he does. He cries all day."

We started looking around for other places, but fortunately, our first choice had a spot open up and we were able to get in within a couple weeks. It was also a rough transition, but E has been thriving here and we love his teachers.



I tell you this story to say this: it may just be the transition and H will be fine given some time. However, listen to your gut, and if it's telling you that it's not the right place, then look around some more and don't be afraid to move her.

I'm sorry, it's so tough to find good caretakers.

[scm1011]

Feb 15, 2018 5:22:36 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Our last straw was the day that we came to pick up E and he was crying on the playground (which he doesn't do, he loves the playground). They told us, "that's just what he does. He cries all day."

OMG. That breaks my heart Poor E.

I'm sorry, cactuscookie. I hope H settles in or you find a better solution ASAP. I think trusting your gut is good advice.

[boiler717]

shauni27 I made a beef purée (the only one I made) and would add it to store bought veggie purées. Just cubes of beef cooked in beef broth with some thyme and then puréed.
He also loved mini meatballs, shredded chicken, and little pieces of lunch meat.
loira I think you handled it well. Sometimes there’s no stopping annoying people. I say things like “he wants to observe before jumping into play. Please give him some space, he will join when he’s ready.”

[boiler717]

I’m sorry for your loss mpc

[boiler717]

I’m sorry OSB! Pooh, I’m hoping your beta today surprises us!
cactuscookie that is so hard. I hope the new daycare works.

[cactuscookie]

pooh8402, that does sound really similar to our current situation! I'm glad it worked out for you guys in the end.

DH and I talked about it and decided we'd rather stick to centers instead of in-home. I like that having several teachers exposes H to the various positive traits of each while diluting the possible negative traits. (For example, there was a teacher at her old daycare who I always felt was a less nurturing than the others, but she also taught H some fun, interesting things.) DH likes the idea of multiple adults basically providing oversight for each other.

We'll definitely change her to a different center, but we might have to wait for a spot to open up. We've called another one, and they keep saying they'll call us back to set up a tour and then not calling back, so that's irritating. In the meantime, her teachers told us Wednesday and Thursday that she did well and that she only cries when we leave, which is encouraging.

I definitely have noticed a change in her behavior at home though - she's a lot more clingy while also being a little more ornery. (But also, she's 2...so it might not be related to the move.) And she keeps telling everyone to go away, which kind of breaks my heart, especially when she asks if her old daycare friends went away. I know she'll be fine in the end, but I hope we can ease the transition as much as possible.

[thoseareradishes]

E is getting another tooth! She's up to 5, but no front teeth yet.

[loira]

Feb 16, 2018 6:29:49 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

shauni27 I made a beef purée (the only one I made) and would add it to store bought veggie purées. Just cubes of beef cooked in beef broth with some thyme and then puréed.
He also loved mini meatballs, shredded chicken, and little pieces of lunch meat.
loira I think you handled it well. Sometimes there’s no stopping annoying people. I say things like “he wants to observe before jumping into play. Please give him some space, he will join when he’s ready.”

I forgot that T and A are similar in that respect. I really like this response. I find it hard sometimes because I can be quite reserved myself, but I know I live in an extrovert world, so I try to force myself to join in and show A that you can have fun with new people. But she's probably smart enough to realise I'm not a natural at it.

[boiler717]

Feb 16, 2018 14:10:23 GMT -5 loira said:

Feb 16, 2018 6:29:49 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

shauni27 I made a beef purée (the only one I made) and would add it to store bought veggie purées. Just cubes of beef cooked in beef broth with some thyme and then puréed.
He also loved mini meatballs, shredded chicken, and little pieces of lunch meat.
loira I think you handled it well. Sometimes there’s no stopping annoying people. I say things like “he wants to observe before jumping into play. Please give him some space, he will join when he’s ready.”

I forgot that T and A are similar in that respect. I really like this response. I find it hard sometimes because I can be quite reserved myself, but I know I live in an extrovert world, so I try to force myself to join in and show A that you can have fun with new people. But she's probably smart enough to realise I'm not a natural at it.

Yes they are! His teacher told me this week that she was concerned about him because he prefers watching friends or playing by himself. I asked why why that was concerning and she was like “well, ugh, um, it’s good to play with other kids.” BAER

[loira]

Feb 16, 2018 21:44:44 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

Feb 16, 2018 14:10:23 GMT -5 loira said:

I forgot that T and A are similar in that respect. I really like this response. I find it hard sometimes because I can be quite reserved myself, but I know I live in an extrovert world, so I try to force myself to join in and show A that you can have fun with new people. But she's probably smart enough to realise I'm not a natural at it.

Yes they are! His teacher told me this week that she was concerned about him because he prefers watching friends or playing by himself. I asked why why that was concerning and she was like “well, ugh, um, it’s good to play with other kids.” BAER

I can't speak for T, or even A (since I don't always know what goes on her her toddler brain) but I know that as a child, I preferred to observe so I could learn exactly how to interact with the kids or play the game. Once I figured out the rules, I would sometimes join in. I wanted so badly to be good at whatever it was, even if it was just imaginary play. It never occurred to me that the other kids were just making it up as they went along.

T's teacher needs to chill. He's only 2. They don't even really play together at this age, do they? I know A interacts far better with adults than with other kids her age. Sometimes she participates in circle time, sometimes not. They high five at the end of the day (if consent given by both) and say goodbye. I'm pretty sure that's the only time she speaks to her friends, lol.

[cactuscookie]

Feb 20, 2018 10:15:21 GMT -5 @daylily said:

cactuscookie , we moved when DS was a couple months shy of turning 2, and he definitely struggled with the transition, despite being a generally easy going kid who took well to changes. Like I remember him being happy about our new house, excited about his new school, and generally positive about the move, but then behaviorally there were still noticeable changes. We saw sleep disruption, way crankier and lots more crying at home, clinginess at home and daycare. It eased in a few weeks once we settled into a new routine.

I totally agree with pooh, obviously change daycares if/when you can if you really have a bad feeling about it, but know that behavior can definitely be related to the overall transitions and not necessarily a sign of the center itself.

This describes Hazel almost exactly! Sleep disruption, hitting, clinginess, even though she seems fine with the house and she loves seeing her grandparents and cousins, which was one of the points of moving. I'm relieved that it only took a couple weeks to settle down for him. Although it probably won't help if we change daycares in the next few weeks, but we'll see.