Tuesday

[doglove]

How's it going for you? 

[mags]

Home after back procedure until Tuesday when I start me new job.

So nice to have some time off with nothing to do.

Working 2 jobs and having dad in hospital has drained me in many ways....I need to recoup

how are things with you? new pup?

[doglove]

A new job? What are you going to be doing mags? How is your dad doing?

Things are okay with me, been struggling with ups and downs since Buddy died that I can't kick so I saw the doctor today and I'm going to start on an anti-depressant to see if that gets me over the hump. I feel bad that I'm such a miserable person to be around (even for myself) lately so I hope this helps. The new pup is acclimating just fine, her progress is slow, but I figured it'd be like that for her.

[bullygirl979]

mags, I'm sorry about your dad. I hope he recovers soon! What is the new job?

doglove, hugs. I hope the medications help.

[bullygirl979]

P and I talked more last night and I think we are leaning more towards eloping.

[doglove]

I'm sorry to hear about the news for your sister pinkplasticdoll, hope she can kick friggen cancer's ass.

I was trying to do it on my own since he died, I'm doing all the exercising, eating pretty healthy and overall taking care of myself, but it's not helping much so I finally decided to go in. He gave me some different sleeping meds to try too since the last ones he gave me did the opposite. I want to kill everyone from lack of sleep most days.

[bullygirl979]

pinkplasticdoll, I would let her lead the conversation. If she doesn't mention it, you can be brief and say something like "I hope today went okay" and then move on. If she wants to talk about it, let her. If she doesn't, I would follow her lead.

While I didn't go through chemo, I can say that when I was going through treatment, there were certainly days that I just needed to talk cancer. Other days I just wanted to feel "normal" and talk about general life stuff. I really appreciated the people who let me do both.

[bullygirl979]

pinkplasticdoll, I apologize, but my chemo brain is strong (I get injections now). She has breast cancer?

[mags]

Feb 13, 2018 11:58:46 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

mags , I'm sorry about your dad. I hope he recovers soon! What is the new job?

doglove , hugs. I hope the medications help.

I am starting at the community college next Tuesday working in a program for kids coming out of drug rehab.

ELOPE ? WHY???

[mags]

Feb 13, 2018 11:53:29 GMT -5 doglove said:

A new job? What are you going to be doing mags ? How is your dad doing?

Things are okay with me, been struggling with ups and downs since Buddy died that I can't kick so I saw the doctor today and I'm going to start on an anti-depressant to see if that gets me over the hump. I feel bad that I'm such a miserable person to be around (even for myself) lately so I hope this helps. The new pup is acclimating just fine, her progress is slow, but I figured it'd be like that for her.

Im sure it is rough....glad to hear new pup is doing well. Do not be too hard on yourself.

[mags]

pinkplasticdoll im sorry your sister has to go through this....
just be there and let her lead the convo

[cuddlyevil]

I am here, avoiding my supervisor because she yelled at me for no real reason yesterday. She's got a habit of getting snappy with people when she's stressed out and I didn't copy her on an email to the team, so she yelled at me. I am bringing it up in our next one on one because it was totally uncalled for.

I am bracing myself for the onslaught of flowers and stuff being sent to everyone at work. I am not getting anything this year and not feeling super breezy about it.

[udscoobychick]

((doglove)) I hope the meds help.
mags, hope your FIL recovers soon.
pinkplasticdoll, hope your sister kicks cancer's ass!
((cuddlyevil))

I just got back from lunch with my mentor (drunken noodles at a local Thai place...yum!), which was nice. I am dying today, though...between my personal training, an hour of silks, and an hour of teaching pole yesterday, I'm so sore! But I need to rally because I'm teaching an hour of pole and two hours of lyra tonight. At least I know I'll work off lunch?

[bullygirl979]

pinkplasticdoll, I was lucky that I had a great cancer center here and we had a fabulous local breast cancer coalition. I used the national sites like Susan G. Komen more for reading material but I hooked up with local breast cancer coalition for more face to face support. If you sister is willing, you could always reach out to the social worker where she is getting treatment to inquire about resources. Honestly, it doesn't surprise me that she may be going through the motions. Hell, I showed up for work the day after my diagnosis. I can imagine she may be in shock so in a way, it's self-preservation that you act like things are "normal". I also went through the other "typical" stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, etc. Everyone is different and she may skip phases, going through phases multiple times.

My personal experience, what I found most helpful was: 1)having someone with me at appointments to take notes because there was SO much and I was so overwhelmed, I often didn't take in everything my doctor's were saying 2)having people there who let me go through the ups and downs. I could tell when people were uncomfortable if I just completely broke down. The people who let me sob on their shoulder one day and then let me talk about stupid stuff the next were invaluable. Some days I just was sick of being a cancer patient and just want to be like everyone else. 3)the people who stepped up to just do stuff. Everyone says "let me know what you need" and while I know some people really meant it, I was so overwhelmed and so sometimes I just didn't KNOW what I needed. So the people who said "I'm dropping off dinner tonight" and dropped it off and left, or people like doriswe who organized a gift basket full of goodies were so, so awesome. I know that you live far away, but hopefully some of this you could do remotely? I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me whenever you need.

[bullygirl979]

Feb 13, 2018 12:28:17 GMT -5 mags said:

Feb 13, 2018 11:58:46 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

mags , I'm sorry about your dad. I hope he recovers soon! What is the new job?

doglove , hugs. I hope the medications help.

I am starting at the community college next Tuesday working in a program for kids coming out of drug rehab.

ELOPE ? WHY???

Oh wow. Are you excited??

Honestly? After my first wedding, I was like "wow. That was a lot of money and work and it lasted a few hours and now it's over." I wouldn't say it was a waste, per se, but I don't think I necessarily felt like it was worth it. I want to get married for the unromantic reasons, like making sure we are legal next of kin. Even from the get go, we said if we did a wedding, it really wouldn't be a "wedding"...no church, no DJ, no cake smashing, etc. I think both of us are just kind of thinking it'd be nice to get away, get married and have it be it. Given it's a second wedding for both of us, it's not like we'd be missing out on the experience. It's kinda been there, done that. So is it worth thousands of dollars if neither one of us is really excited about it?

[cuddlyevil]

bullygirl979 I have taken a long weekend the weekend of June 15th *cough cough*


I hope your Dad is okay mags.

[doglove]

mags that sounds like a rewarding job!

[udscoobychick]

bullygirl979, I think a second wedding is the perfect time to make it whatever the heck you want, including eloping. Also, can I have the recipe for the Baileys chocolate cake you mentioned in a previous post?

[bullygirl979]

cuddlyevil, lemme know if you want to GTG!

[bullygirl979]

udscoobychick, that's what P said last night. He said for once he wants to be selfish and just do it the way we want to do it.

And, of course! It was really good P isn't a huge fan of chocolate cake and he has been devouring it.

tornadoughalli.com/2016/08/irish-coffee-chocolate-cake/

[udscoobychick]

bullygirl979, thank you! I have to make some birthday treats for people who like chocolate, so this sounds perfect!

[mags]

Feb 13, 2018 13:24:15 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Feb 13, 2018 12:28:17 GMT -5 mags said:

I am starting at the community college next Tuesday working in a program for kids coming out of drug rehab.

ELOPE ? WHY???

Oh wow. Are you excited??

Honestly? After my first wedding, I was like "wow. That was a lot of money and work and it lasted a few hours and now it's over." I wouldn't say it was a waste, per se, but I don't think I necessarily felt like it was worth it. I want to get married for the unromantic reasons, like making sure we are legal next of kin. Even from the get go, we said if we did a wedding, it really wouldn't be a "wedding"...no church, no DJ, no cake smashing, etc. I think both of us are just kind of thinking it'd be nice to get away, get married and have it be it. Given it's a second wedding for both of us, it's not like we'd be missing out on the experience. It's kinda been there, done that. So is it worth thousands of dollars if neither one of us is really excited about it?

as long as that is what you really want. mexico is a great place ")

[tiramisu]

I'm here! I've just been ridiculously busy all day today. I'm so glad it's a 4 day week for me. Tonight is modern, which will be good. Not looking forward to tomorrow being Valentine's day, but I'll be fine. I've thought about buying myself flowers but hopefully my parents send me some like they usually do.

I just found out today that I need to be prepared to give a presentation on vicarious trauma and self care next Tuesday afternoon. I'm excited for this opportunity!

[bullygirl979]

Feb 13, 2018 17:04:19 GMT -5 mags said:

Feb 13, 2018 13:24:15 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Oh wow. Are you excited??

Honestly? After my first wedding, I was like "wow. That was a lot of money and work and it lasted a few hours and now it's over." I wouldn't say it was a waste, per se, but I don't think I necessarily felt like it was worth it. I want to get married for the unromantic reasons, like making sure we are legal next of kin. Even from the get go, we said if we did a wedding, it really wouldn't be a "wedding"...no church, no DJ, no cake smashing, etc. I think both of us are just kind of thinking it'd be nice to get away, get married and have it be it. Given it's a second wedding for both of us, it's not like we'd be missing out on the experience. It's kinda been there, done that. So is it worth thousands of dollars if neither one of us is really excited about it?

as long as that is what you really want. mexico is a great place ")

We talked about doing a big trip for a honeymoon (like Italy!) but I think for financial reasons we'd put it off until 2020. I actually suggested to P that we go back to Lake Placid, stay for a couple of days, and get married there. It's where we had our first vacation together, and it's where we got engaged.

[bullygirl979]

tiramisu, if it makes you happy, absolutely buy flowers for yourself! And good for you on the presentation! I know you'll knock it out of the park!

[mags]

Feb 14, 2018 8:39:58 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Feb 13, 2018 17:04:19 GMT -5 mags said:

as long as that is what you really want. mexico is a great place ")

We talked about doing a big trip for a honeymoon (like Italy!) but I think for financial reasons we'd put it off until 2020. I actually suggested to P that we go back to Lake Placid, stay for a couple of days, and get married there. It's where we had our first vacation together, and it's where we got engaged.

2 years for a honeymoon...boohoo no wedding , no honeymoon....

we can have a reception here!

[mags]

Feb 13, 2018 18:16:56 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

I'm here! I've just been ridiculously busy all day today. I'm so glad it's a 4 day week for me. Tonight is modern, which will be good. Not looking forward to tomorrow being Valentine's day, but I'll be fine. I've thought about buying myself flowers but hopefully my parents send me some like they usually do.

I just found out today that I need to be prepared to give a presentation on vicarious trauma and self care next Tuesday afternoon. I'm excited for this opportunity!

I buy myself flowers all the time, I love flowers!

By yourself a mani pedi!!!

[bullygirl979]

Feb 14, 2018 10:51:34 GMT -5 mags said:

Feb 14, 2018 8:39:58 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

We talked about doing a big trip for a honeymoon (like Italy!) but I think for financial reasons we'd put it off until 2020. I actually suggested to P that we go back to Lake Placid, stay for a couple of days, and get married there. It's where we had our first vacation together, and it's where we got engaged.

2 years for a honeymoon...boohoo no wedding , no honeymoon....

we can have a reception here!

Hahaha! I pushed P to take a motorcycle trip to Alaska, which is happening in 2019. He REALLY wants to get married before he goes, just in case something happens to him. He can't swing the trip plus a honeymoon and I know it would bother him if I paid for the entire honeymoon. It's honestly fine. I would be upset with him if he didn't go to Alaska.

[doglove]

bullygirl979, there seems like there should be some kind of middle ground though between a 2019 trip to Alaska and not having to wait 2 years for a honeymoon? That's a long time!

[bullygirl979]

doglove, I'm not being snarky but why would we need to find middle ground if I'm not bothered by it? I mean, we are calling it a "honeymoon" but in reality it's just an excuse to take an awesome trip. I'm also saving a crap ton of money towards the massive kitchen remodel that I really want. It's my 40th birthday gift to myself, which will happen next year, too. So, if I push towards an expensive trip in 2018 or 2019, then I have to push off the remodel. Don't get me wrong, I do want to take a fantastic trip, but I've been waiting to do this renovation since 2016 because I want to pay 75% in cash. Weighing each choice, I'd honestly rather be on track to do the remodel and just do the big vacation when neither one of us would be stressed about money. Plus, I would be 100% content with spending a few days in Lake Placid and calling it a day. If we elope, part of me really wants to do it there. The stupid part is, we have $300 each in airline vouchers that we need to use by June. Again, IF we elope, I want it to be somewhere meaningful to us. More than likely, we are going to take some sort of vacation before June so we don't lose the airline money. I really don't want to rush to elope to use that money on a honeymoon just to use it. I'd rather push it off and not be stressed, if that makes sense.