Parental Stage Fright

[mommyatty]

I have parent teacher conferences for both kids tomorrow. I know they are both great kids who behave and are keeping up, but I have irrational anxiety over these.

So make me feel better. What things make you nervous when your thinking brain tells you you’re being silly?

[judyblume14]

I get incredibly anxious when we get together with some of our friends who have kids around the same ages as our daughters. As if they are silently judging my parenting. And whenever we are with my H's family, I always think that they think that he is a better parent than I am...

[2chatter]

Banks and post offices make me insanely nervous. I hate ending up in the wrong line or doing something outside of protocol. I know these are simple places but I have avoided them for years. Literally.

[supertrooper1]

I get nervous at places where you order customized food, like Subway or Chipotle. I worry that I'm going to say the wrong thing. Placing orders online is amazing for these places.

[mellym]

Every time I see DH’s immediate family. It’s funny that I have no problem with his extended family so big gatherings are better for me.

My SIL is a teacher and said the teachers are just as nervous because they don’t know how the parents will react.

[xctsclrx]

Review times or whenever I am called into my Boss's boss office. I have been told multiple time that I am doing very well and no has any complaints, but my stomach drops whenever it happens.

[freezorburn]

Talking on the phone, whether it's to make an appointment, or for customer service, or whatever. It's anxiety inducing, and I don't know why.

For the last year, a lot of normal social situations have brought on a lot of anxiety. I think I have PTSD from my marriage/divorce and it's just hard to be around people. But I've been slowly getting back to normal. Not to date, but just to be able to have light conversations and not lead with all the crazy that was my life for a solid two years. I think I've worked hard the last year to re-establish normal and boring, to the extent that I have a bit of an identity that is no longer about being a train wreck in progress. And it's nice to be able to not talk about said train wreck.

[HeartofCheese]

All things makes me nervous: all the phone calls, giving presentations, giving email updates, spending a lot of money, cocktail/mixer-type parties, work functions, etc. It helps though if I can distinguish between something that I just have to get through and never worry about again versus something that is just a step in a process. If I just have to get through it, I literally fantasize about what I'll be doing at blank-o'clock when it's over. If it's the latter, it helps me to minimize the significance of the event and see opportunities that might arise no matter what happens.

[librarychica]

I get nervous when I have to speak in front of people, but only if emotion is involved.

So presentations to work VIPs who control my livelihood? Fine. Having to say something my kid did every year during her school birthday walk? Nervous to the point of nausea. It’s ridiculous.

[2chatter]

librarychica - plus one to the birthday dread. It’s a reason I was grateful to move to public school. Last year I inexplicably choked on a sob I didn’t know was there and said something really generic like a drunk wedding toast. It was awful.

[xctsclrx]

librarychica, what is a birthday walk? Should I be scared?

[callmekd]

Feb 15, 2018 10:44:17 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

Review times or whenever I am called into my Boss's boss office. I have been told multiple time that I am doing very well and no has any complaints, but my stomach drops whenever it happens.

+1 to this!

[justcheckingin73]

So many things that people already said, including calling people, presentations - in person is worse but I even tense up on conference calls. It’s especially bad if something is new to me - for example my boss wants me to visit our London office this Spring. I’ve been to London twice now so I’m OK making the trip by myself but I’m terrified I won’t actually know how to get into the building or find the office once I’m in the building. I can barely find street signs when I’m in London. It’s so ridiculous sometimes.

[186momx]

The thought of going to the school board meeting and public speaking. This is why I wrote in my comments.

[twinmomma]

Speaking up at PTA meetings. I love being involved and I"m a "get shit done" type of person, so I often want to butt in and make changes. It's really intimidating!

[186momx]

twinmomma, I'm lucky and our PTO meetings usually are 4 parents and the principle and maybe one teacher. We talk around a little table and eat cookies.

[twinmomma]

186momx, We have probably a dozen or so consistent attendees, so it's not huge. But a few of the people are VERY outspoken and entrenched in their own concept of what should be done. One of them is gunning for president next year, so it's like she's on campaign every meeting. So obnoxious!

[2chatter]

justcheckingin73 - the new building/visiting a building you don’t often see anxiety is real!! One of the NY offices has a card reader gate directly in front of open stairs. It’s super loud marble flooring and stairs and one time (like 7 years ago) I slipped on the top step in heels and yelled f@ck and skittered on the first few steps. I dread that building every time I have to go now.

[waverly]

New situations/ places. I never seem to pull into the right driveway, park in the right spot, go in the right door or something like that. I'm not lost because I have the map on my phone, I just don't know where to go and what to do. Sometimes it is pretty easy/ apparent and sometimes I am traipsing around a building in the snow trying every locked door with 2 kids. I feel like I never know what I am doing. The second time I go is much easier. I am not always anxious, sometimes I am calmly wandering around because I know those kind of things always happen to me, and I resign myself to it.

Our one friends always seem to say no to any ideas we have to get together, and every idea has to be their idea. Then add in an impatient husband that demands to know what is going on paired with their wishy washy non detailed responses makes me anxious. It's not any better when he talks to them and makes plans because they I don't really know what the plans are and have to force myself into a go with the flow when really I need to know who, what, where, when, how. They give me a lot of anxiety because of that controlling dynamic paired with my DH always going along with what they say.

IEP meetings probably more so than parent teacher meetings, but still a little Parent teacher. Trying to make plans for playdates, but that even seems easier than dealing with above friends.

[librarychica]

Feb 15, 2018 11:45:06 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

librarychica, what is a birthday walk? Should I be scared?

I think it is specific to Montessori. My girls school and the one my MIL teaches at both so it. Kid walks around a globe for each “year around the sun” and then the parents or whoever is there says something about each year. Then their classmates each tell them one thing they wish for them this year (or just say happy birthday of they aren’t feeling it).

[mustardseed2007]

Feb 15, 2018 16:18:57 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Feb 15, 2018 11:45:06 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

librarychica , what is a birthday walk? Should I be scared?

I think it is specific to Montessori. My girls school and the one my MIL teaches at both so it. Kid walks around a globe for each “year around the sun” and then the parents or whoever is there says something about each year. Then their classmates each tell them one thing they wish for them this year (or just say happy birthday of they aren’t feeling it).

My kid's school does a version of this... I didn't realize it was a generalized montessori thing, I thought it was just them, lol. 

[mustardseed2007]

I have a long list of things that make me anxious.

[justcheckingin73]

Feb 15, 2018 15:31:25 GMT -5 2chatter said:

justcheckingin73 - the new building/visiting a building you don’t often see anxiety is real!! One of the NY offices has a card reader gate directly in front of open stairs. It’s super loud marble flooring and stairs and one time (like 7 years ago) I slipped on the top step in heels and yelled f@ck and skittered on the first few steps. I dread that building every time I have to go now.

I would feel the same way. Those NYC buildings in general give me anxiety.