We have a call with our realtor in about an hour to discuss the offers we've received. I don't know what terms came with it, but we know one offer is for at least 15% over our list price. My guess is that it's in exchange for no/little leaseback, but we'll see.
I'm excited and terrified all at once. Once we commit to selling, there's no backing out. As of now, we can still back out.
I think I had 2 things hanging. I can only remember one. DD's counselor sort of apologized but not really. She did point out that it was a really good opportunity for DD to tell her how she felt, which she did reluctantly, and got the beloved balloon back. Counselor told me she wants to "set firmer limits" and end the session after 3 times DD leaves without asking. I am not ok with that. I think I will be ending them as soon as I can get DD to agree.
My website is a piece of junk and has been having major issues. My web company has not been able to figure it out. My IT guys have not been able to figure it out. Everyone in the company has been getting increasingly pissed about the issues, rightfully so. But I can only do so much - I'm at the mercy of people who know more about this than I do. I just "manage" it so I've been stuck in the middle. It got fixed today. It's a freaking miracle. But now I have to call my web company tomorrow and figure out why they didn't find the answer sooner. And I'm pretty sure our IT team hates me now. I need to bring them treats tomorrow to thank them. Oh, and it's not like it's a busy time at all for me to deal with it. My trip is only in two weeks.
I think I had 2 things hanging. I can only remember one. DD's counselor sort of apologized but not really. She did point out that it was a really good opportunity for DD to tell her how she felt, which she did reluctantly, and got the beloved balloon back. Counselor told me she wants to "set firmer limits" and end the session after 3 times DD leaves without asking. I am not ok with that. I think I will be ending them as soon as I can get DD to agree.
What does she mean by leaves without asking, like your DD will walk out the door to go home? I was just curious.
Our trip was definitely cancelled. My car needs repair. I still smell trace amounts of gas from the boiler. DH is going to be mad when he finds out about the last two, so that will be fun. I don't know how to tell him but I kind of want him to go with me to the car place, so I can get back home, but maybe I should just wait in the waiting room, but I have a feeling it will take a while like over the weekend and we might need a rental car... And I am sure he has back to back phone calls all day.
We aren't even going on the trip and our weekend is jam packed with make-up snowboarding/ skiing lessons since we can't do the trip. 2 birthday parties and cub scouts. At least I don't have plans for Monday.
And the update.. we're selling. Offer is accepted. We'll get a 60 day free leaseback and then the option for an additional 30 days after that. DH and I agreed that we'll give it a school year to attempt to find something else, and if that doesn't work out, we start looking at leaving the area.
Cue panicked breathing into a paper bag. And the jerk (DH) isn't even going to be home for me to celebrate with!!!
rere, you go girl! My girlfriend is going to be 60 this year and flash mobs throughout the year and loves it.
Well I updated yesterday about the whole Valentine's mess. Got an email from my comment from one of the admin at the administration office that was CC to DD's principle. DD needs to talk to her teacher/principle on why they celebrate one thing and not another. Also we can still do her concert and then go to the meeting as it is going to be long and he hopes to see us there. Yes, I really want to drag my 6 year old to a board meeting where we will have missed the chance to sign up and speak just to listen to other opinions well after bedtime.
My other update is with the new extender bill to the extender bill passed last Friday. We are standing dead in the water on a ton of tax returns that are sitting in our office now waiting on form updates. This means no one can pick up and pay us. Looks like no payroll for us next week. Boo
Post by mustardseed2007 on Feb 16, 2018 6:28:50 GMT -5
Update on DD's genetics appointment. The geneticist said...basically we don't know what it means. DD looks completely fine to him. We went over the things she's had in the past - torticollis, concern over her large head, Speech therapy - and then he kind a said...I'm going to ask around and I'd like the family to get tested although that's going to take a while with insurance.
I think I had 2 things hanging. I can only remember one. DD's counselor sort of apologized but not really. She did point out that it was a really good opportunity for DD to tell her how she felt, which she did reluctantly, and got the beloved balloon back. Counselor told me she wants to "set firmer limits" and end the session after 3 times DD leaves without asking. I am not ok with that. I think I will be ending them as soon as I can get DD to agree.
What does she mean by leaves without asking, like your DD will walk out the door to go home? I was just curious.
The therapist comes to our home. So DD gets a wild hair and runs off to show me something, get a hug, or runs to the pantry to get some water or a snack. Which is totally not ok. But I know DD and ultimatums end in self sabotage, every time. They do not work with her anxiety. "They" say that knowing what to expect helps anxiety but it does not help DD's. And she will either completely melt down or pretend it doesn't bother her, but in reality it plays against her inner fear that she is not a good person and bothers her a great deal. I make this mistake a lot, and I'm trying to get better, but you just can't set things up as a win/lose situation with her because she will lose and then she will hate herself for losing. So bottom line for me is that this therapist really just doesn't get her and doesn't care to get her. Yet one more person trying to fit my square peg into a round hole, kwim? And I've decided I just don't have a lot of patience for people who don't get my kid or my parenting anymore.
What does she mean by leaves without asking, like your DD will walk out the door to go home? I was just curious.
The therapist comes to our home. So DD gets a wild hair and runs off to show me something, get a hug, or runs to the pantry to get some water or a snack. Which is totally not ok. But I know DD and ultimatums end in self sabotage, every time. They do not work with her anxiety. "They" say that knowing what to expect helps anxiety but it does not help DD's. And she will either completely melt down or pretend it doesn't bother her, but in reality it plays against her inner fear that she is not a good person and bothers her a great deal. I make this mistake a lot, and I'm trying to get better, but you just can't set things up as a win/lose situation with her because she will lose and then she will hate herself for losing. So bottom line for me is that this therapist really just doesn't get her and doesn't care to get her. Yet one more person trying to fit my square peg into a round hole, kwim? And I've decided I just don't have a lot of patience for people who don't get my kid or my parenting anymore.
I think this is exactly where you need to be. I mean, on the one hand as parent we have to be open to learning, but on the other hand you have been down certain roads and you know that certain roads don't work. You don't need to keep questioning yourself about whether or not you really understand what tried methods don't work, barring someone who is able to give you some kind of fantastic insight that, when you hear it, makes sense to you and makes you comfortable revisiting old territory.
akafred, I just want to say - I understand what you're daughter is dealing with. My anxiety stems from my OCD. My OCD says "Make a plan. It needs to happen exactly this way for you to be ok." And then something slightly changes that plan. And I spiral and end up with a panic attack because I feel like I've failed. It's really hard. Just want to send some hugs your way. It breaks my heart that your daughter is going through that, when she's so young. I think you need to find a therapist who understands how those spirals can happen and help you both come up with coping mechanisms, not put greater restrictions on her if that's going to make it worse.
akafred - I was your kid. Therapy never worked for me despite all my moms attempts. Eventually she (my mom) realized that she was paying for me to either sit there silently or just play once as week. She gave up with the goal of starting over later.
This is not to say give up or that it’s unnecessary, just to say that it’s pretty kid standard behavior, even in kid with no diagnosed concerns. Hopefully you guys figure something out.
Post by HeartofCheese on Feb 16, 2018 9:00:40 GMT -5
I said I'd post a pic after DD got her hair done like mine so here it is. I asked her all day if everyone kept calling her by my name. She loved it. <3 <3 <3
Btw, you can barely see it, both we even both have matching purple tinsel.
akafred, sounds like you are very confidant in your decision and that is awesome. I wish I had advice with your DD, but based on everything you have said, I would not know the first step on how to parent her. She is lucky to have you.
My updates:
SFIL has been home from the hospital for 2 weeks now. They are keeping him pretty isolated due to the flu and yuck still going around. He is also still weak and tired so not too hard to do.
We just received SS1 and SS2 track schedule. Between track, drill, and other random school stuff I don't think we are going to be together as a family again until from March to May.
Also really annoyed at DH's ex. She sent the track schedule and then requested the weekends she wanted with the boys in the same email. She literally picked every weekend they don't have a track meet. DH doesn't want to push back because she asked for them first. It is not my fight so I stay out of things like this, but sometimes I wish he would have a little bit of a backbone when it comes to her.
My only update is that we’re pulling DD out of aftercare at school. I’m done with their non-intervention approach. It’s not a good scene for my 5yo to get totally ignored by the adults who are supposed to be overseeing this. Might be fine for the 4th/5th graders but it’s not very safe for the Kindergarteners.
So while DH remains unemployed, he will pick her up and bring her home right after K. I’ll be working on finding (and paying for - sigh) an after school babysitter who can go to school and sign her out at the end of the day.
I need ideas for DH as to what they can do from 3-6pm every day. Im afraid he’s going to just turn on Minecraft and let her have all the screen time.
akafred - has the therapist seen the spiral? Because if she has — how can she not see the reality? All for switching.
She has sort of seen it, but she treats it as having a different cause. And yes, I want to be open to her ideas. How can things get better if I am not willing to try new things or make changes? I get that, so I don't want to be too stubborn about it, but when you suggest something that I just *know* will create problems vs solve them, I don't care to try them. One of the fundamental problems is that she comes to this from a perspective of trauma and I think DD's biggest issues are anxiety and possibly OCD, and treating it that way seems to work best with her.
My only update is that we’re pulling DD out of aftercare at school. I’m done with their non-intervention approach. It’s not a good scene for my 5yo to get totally ignored by the adults who are supposed to be overseeing this. Might be fine for the 4th/5th graders but it’s not very safe for the Kindergarteners.
So while DH remains unemployed, he will pick her up and bring her home right after K. I’ll be working on finding (and paying for - sigh) an after school babysitter who can go to school and sign her out at the end of the day.
I need ideas for DH as to what they can do from 3-6pm every day. Im afraid he’s going to just turn on Minecraft and let her have all the screen time.
The weather should be nicer soon, so I would say go to the playground, library, go for hikes, bike rides, etc. Could be seriously great bonding time for them.
akafred, It was huge for me to find a therapist who realized that my issues stemmed from OCD, not just regular general anxiety. Once I knew that, I was able to make some changes to how I handle things, figure out my triggers, and DH was better able to understand why I react the way I do.
akafred- you know your kid the best. It's kind of unreasonable for a kid to sit still for an hour or however long for therapy and not wander off. DS wanders on the regular and isn't dealing with ADHD.
Her approach does sound like it's coming from the wrong angle. I was wondering because it seemed trust based or bonding but your DD seems to be well bonded.
Totally different, but we have to get DS's attention regularly at PT and OT and the therapists never mentioned leaving early because it's not about his attention it's about accomplishing the goals of the session. And they understand attention is something he struggles with from a age, sensory and hearing loss POV.
HeartofCheese, super cute!! DD1 loves being my mini-me too but I need to be careful how much she goes on about it because DD2 is all DH.
k3am, Congrats! What do you mean by a school year? Will you rent for a year if you can't find something in the next few months?
DH talked to his mom about BIL and it didn't go very well. I think she feels insulted because she threw out that she would protect them with her life. Missing the whole point of us not wanting our kids to be a witness to his drunkenness and his unpredictable nature. She admitted that she thought there might be a problem after his behavior on Saturday. Why do you turn a blind eye when we are there and act like this is okay with our young kids? Hard to trust her judgment.
I emailed our school district several questions about campus security with a focus on mental health, weapons and reporting. I hope this turns into a wider dialogue. The conversations on FB are making me anxious - so much attention, so many words, so little action. I’m motivated to push for meaningful change.
mellym, we've always expected that we'll likely have to rent for a period of time before finding something to buy. We're just putting a deadline on it. So if we haven't found something by spring of 2019, we'll plan on relocating. I think putting a timeline and an alternative to what we do was the only reason I got on board with selling.
I emailed our school district several questions about campus security with a focus on mental health, weapons and reporting. I hope this turns into a wider dialogue. The conversations on FB are making me anxious - so much attention, so many words, so little action. I’m motivated to push for meaningful change.
I am right there with you. Many of the shooters were known issue type people but there still wasn't anything they could do. And the investigations are not enough, don't go far enough and don't result in real action. And we just keep repeating the same meaningless words. The Boston Globe has a good article on this but behind a pay wall so I won't link it.
PM me if you come up with some good concrete action. Right now all I can think of is to donate.
akafred, It was huge for me to find a therapist who realized that my issues stemmed from OCD, not just regular general anxiety. Once I knew that, I was able to make some changes to how I handle things, figure out my triggers, and DH was better able to understand why I react the way I do.
I don't know if DD has OCD or not. She has some tendencies but she keeps most of her stuff hidden inside. We watched a video online for kids about anxiety and she mentioned OCD, and DD asked if she has OCD and I said, "I don't think so", but I am not sure. Maybe finding a provider who is well versed in both anxiety and OCD in kids would be more helpful.
waverly - I asked specific protocol questions about mental health. I don’t think schools and counselors are direct enough in dealing with these issues. Some of the kids who have taken guns to school were given those guns by their families. I can’t help but think if they were told not to, if a discussion was had, some people would hesitate to arm their children. It’s so obvious to the rest of us. But having a mentally ill parent, I have always been shocked at how little practical instruction is given to caregivers and how much a focus on well being and medication leaves a serious gap. I know for a fact that my Dad had a weapon in our home. No one told him not to and he didn’t think about it. My mom brought it in my room when I came home from college to visit. It went away after that, but it could have been really a bad scenario. Caregivers are both over and underwhelmed. Schools need to fill that gap with education of parents where they can.