xctsclrx, right now I feel like he does nothing but I do know he does stuff it just isn't tangible right now. I also know that I'm in the middle of tax season and everything that could go wrong with this season is going wrong so my stress level is almost maxed out and I need the extra support and not getting it. 8 more weeks until the season is over and my schedule goes back to flexible and I have control over my life more.
Dear Management Co Expect a phone call in the am as the carpet is buckling and rolling all over the place after they shampooed it. We can't have clients or ourselves tripping over carpet. Cranky Accountants who want their offices back
Post by justcheckingin73 on Feb 21, 2018 16:16:50 GMT -5
186momx , you know I feel your pain on the other side of things. But I also can’t understand why he doesn’t step up. I mean, I get it. It’s really hard sometimes but in the end it’s temporary. DH didn’t get home until 10 last night so every single chore including taking out the trash was done by me. 10:00 isn’t the norm but me doing nearly everything is. I can’t say I always handle the extra work well. I get cranky and tired and feel unappreciated most of the time, but I also can’t imagine leaving stuff for him to do after working 12+ hour days, 6 days a week. I hope you’re able to find a middle ground.
Dear Work,
I understand why you had to do it but please, never again schedule a product training that is 4 1/2 hours long. I also had a webinar this morning so I got 0 actual work done. My official day is over (typically I do a little more work) but I’m so drained, I’ll probably just collapse on the couch after picking up DS from school.
And I couldn’t go on my run dammit!
Signed, Too many words. I can’t keep my attention for that long.
Post by covergirl82 on Feb 21, 2018 17:20:51 GMT -5
Dear kids,
Now that you're both on antibiotics and albuterol, I hope you both start getting healthy again soon. Then, let's please have another long stretch of good health.
Love, Mommy
Dear Mom & Dad,
Thank you so much for coming down yesterday through Friday to stay home with whichever kid needs to stay home because of illness. It has helped so much and I'm so thankful you are happy to help.
Dear DH, I am laughing so hard I am crying. I sent you a pic of the cute snack the kids delivered to my office. Your response “You are their favorite, how does that feel? Must be nice!” Seriously kills me. Is this why you and DD butt heads? You are both teenage girls? 😂 Love, The kids’ favorite
186momx Not sure how old your DH is but presumably a grown up who chose to have a child and gets out of work before 5pm most days and can’t bother to pick his child up and feed her a filling dinner?
I really hope I am not understanding the situation cause if I do, he is not a Dad.
Seriously. Where is he getting positive reinforcement that this behavior is ok? If he can’t do it, how does he think that you do it?
He sounds remarkably immature and completely not in touch with reality. You are both home by 6:30 during tax season with one kid, at an age that is fairly independent, and are arguing over chores? What am I missing?
sunbutter, that he has an undiagnosed learning disability that wasn't brought to my attention until I was pregnant. His mother told me at 3 months about his ICU stint for seizures and how she pulled him from EI because he was so much bigger than the sick kids. His parents didn't want him to be special so didn't have him tested just put him in special needs classes at school so he would pass and once he got to high school he did shop and PE to keep a GPA high enough to play sports that he excelled at he went to school at the same school his mom taught at. Yes I was freaking out. I really just thought he was a shy guy who didn't have a bunch of friends who was a home body like me. I believed that for 3 years of marriage before we got pregnant then everything went crazy. Basically once DD was born he couldn't handle not getting all my attention. He gets better for a while and then something happens to change things and he just can't deal with it and spirals. His parents are no help and actually enable the I can't do anything right behavior which is the main reason we don't speak anymore.
I have the easiest DD in the world and am so blessed that the last 6 1/2 years have been relatively simple and that I have built a really good village to help me out when I need it. I really thought this year he could deal since she can shower, dress, eat, read (almost) all on her own so he just needs to pick her up and drive her home. I swear DD acts like she is 16 not 6 95% of the time.
186momx - ugh - thanks, MIL for the parenting choices and the bomb drop. Is he open to get a diagnosis and treatment plan and moving forward? If not, what strategies worked for MIL? Maybe my expectations were too high without the context. So let’s set him up for success....
Everything I think of sounds patronizing (like helping him set up labeled alarms on his phone - DD read 5:30, DD eat 5:45, DD shower 6:15. But maybe he would be down?
186momx How does he respond to the exact opposite of enabling “I can’t do anything right?” What do you think he does well? Do you positively reinforce that? Is there something that he and DD like to do together that they could both consider me time after pickup? My brother had a severe head injury when he was eight and the brain damage resulted in major personality changes and a life long learning disability. He had two children young in a marriage that failed because of a dynamic that sounds like yours. He really did not recognize that anything besides himself was his responsibility. His ex just grew extremely frustrated and resulting behavior compounded the issues. I don’t know specifically what happened with his current wife but something clicked, he steps up and she expects nothing less. I wish I knew what flipped the switch. He is 40 this year and it didn’t change until his mid 30’s.
Dear DH, For real, remove yourself from your moment of weirdness. Your latest missive that indicated I “can leave messages on Facebook but ignore my husband #ignorehusband” is more comedy gold. You seem to indicate that I shouldn’t have posted (leaving a message went away with answering machines) at 9:30 in response to a meeting I’m attending tonight, and at 10:30 your text encourages me to ignore my husband in an odd hashtag (do you know what hashtags are?). I was asleep so woke to this continued insanity. Just stop! Amused but trending toward annoyed wife
Post by erinshelley21 on Feb 22, 2018 10:22:35 GMT -5
Bro, Quit asking me what we should do for every little thing. This is your rodeo now. You need to get some processes in place on how YOU want to handle things. You bitched and bitched for 5 years that we always did things how I wanted to do them. This is your chance to do it your way but within reason since you work for another agency. But as far as where to file stuff away to work on later or how to handle client contact, get on down with your bad self and do it. Love, your sister who is cutting off advice more and more with each day. P.S. do you see why I'm burnt out now after handling 60% of the clients and about 80% of the agency management?