Help me hire a nanny

[shakinros]

Thank you for reading this novel.

We’re hiring an after school babysitter/ nanny for DD to get her out of aftercare. I posted on care.com, emailed with lots of folks, had phone interviews with a couple, and we’re meeting two finalists this weekend who are pretty different.

Person A: a SAH mom of an 18mo. She’s from a Spanish-speaking country and came here 4ish years ago as a nanny, after working as a physical therapist in her home country. She would need to bring her son with her. It could be good for DD, but I’m a little worried how she will handle having a toddler in her space every day. This gig would be Person A’s first return to work after having her son and I think she likes the idea of easing in with 15hrs/wk of work. I like that she speaks English, Spanish, and ASL, and has been a f/t nanny before.

Person B is a recent college grad trying to figure out her career path. She was a p/t nanny throughout college and has another gig lined up with a different family from 9-1 each day, so it lines up nicely for her to work for us 3-6. I like that DD could get undivided attention.

We have these folks coming at different times on Sunday. my idea is to let them each play with DD a bit (Person A is bringing her son too), ask some more questions, and then hopefully make a decision that night.

If you’ve hired a nanny or regular babysitter like this before, any questions you wish you’d asked but didn’t know to?

I really liked both these women on the phone and I know I’m going to feel bad about whoever we don’t hire. Words of wisdom on that?

[2chatter]

The toddler in my house would be a deal killer. We have Legos everywhere, and as the kids are bigger, it’s totally not childproof.

I asked about willingness to bake, do science experiments, facilitate play dates, build things (Legos and more creative stuff), stay later occasionally and if she was ok walking to/from the school in rain/heat.

Good luck!!

[kimberlybb]

Following. I'm in need of some creative options for my DD and thinking about exploring care.com.

[akafred]

No to toddler. So B.

[twinmomma]

Agreed on the no toddler thing. I'd be open to it if my kid was also a toddler, but not for a school age kid like your situation. Seems like more hassle than it would be worth if you have another good candidate lined up.

[shakinros]

Ok I was kind of wondering if I had lost my mind about the toddler. Apparently I have! We do have quite a lego princess collection...

Person A with the toddler was the first to be available after 7 or 8 ppl had said no so I think I was feeling desperate before Person B appeared.

[akafred]

DD loves toddlers. If it were for one or two days a week, I would consider it. But for DD I would want her to have some low stress, individual FUN time after school if I'm paying the premium for a nanny. Go to the playground, maybe library, the pool once it opens. And of course helping with homework etc. And those things are less possible with a sitter who is chasing around a toddler, dealing with tantrums and squabbles, etc.

[sweetptater]

Definitely B for the reasons akafred said. Toddlers require constant attention.

[mustardseed2007]

Person B sounds like the best fit on paper, but Person A would not be a terrible choice if you didn't have other options, KWIM?

And actually, I would definitely reserve judgment until you meet person B. If you don't get the right vibe from her for any reason and Person A seems to be able to smoothly handle both children, then Person A could work.

[ilovelucyvv]

I would ask Person A how she plans to keep her toddler entertained. Maybe her toddler is more calm and not a human wrecking ball like mine were and still are.

[callmekd]

I would be concerned that person B would still be looking for a FT job in their career field and would leave. person A might have longer term potential as it sounds like she's home with her toddler?

[shakinros]

Mar 2, 2018 13:45:27 GMT -5 callmekd said:

I would be concerned that person B would still be looking for a FT job in their career field and would leave. person A might have longer term potential as it sounds like she's home with her toddler?

We discussed B’s career path for awhile. She doesn’t know what she wants to do. She was admitted to law school but then decided she didn’t want to be a lawyer. Her undergraduate major was criminal justice and since she also doesn’t want to be a LEO, she has no idea what’s next. So we will definitely lose her when she does figure it out but If she gets us through June when school lets out or even August (so we can skip camp aftercare) I’m fine with doing this whole search again for September.

[sdlaura]

I just wanted to say good luck. I briefly tried care.com before a couple former preschool teachers we knew ended up being able to help us regularly. I previously had no idea how much work it was to find a babysitter, with all the screening, phone interviews, reference checks, etc. I don't envy you!

[sunbutter]

Everyone has great points. You are not crazy considering someone with a toddler. Our occasional nanny/sitter comes with her son and he was 2-3 when she started with us. He has destroyed some Lego builds but my kids have learned to keep them out of his way when he comes here.

[supertrooper1]

This is probably a UO, but I would ask A about her immigration status. If she came here as a nanny, her J1 status would have been good for a year. She should have adjusted to a green card somehow (i.e. marriage). And no, I'm not saying this because she's from a Spanish speaking country. I would ask anyone from another country.

[shakinros]

Update: Person A’s child is sick so she had to cancel today. Person B came as planned, seems fine. She’s going to send me some references to check, but assuming all is good, I’m thinking of not rescheduling Person A. DD is disappointed that she doesn’t get to play with the toddler lol.

Is it a bad move not to reschedule Person A and her kid? I’m feeling bad about not giving another mom a chance to make some money, but I’m also relieved that her child didn’t have a chance to get hurt in our seriously not childproof house.

[akafred]

Mar 4, 2018 13:04:26 GMT -5 shakinros said:

Update: Person A’s child is sick so she had to cancel today. Person B came as planned, seems fine. She’s going to send me some references to check, but assuming all is good, I’m thinking of not rescheduling Person A. DD is disappointed that she doesn’t get to play with the toddler lol.

Is it a bad move not to reschedule Person A and her kid? I’m feeling bad about not giving another mom a chance to make some money, but I’m also relieved that her child didn’t have a chance to get hurt in our seriously not childproof house.

What is her plan to babysit if her child is sick in the future? I get not wanting to bring a sick kiddo to an interview, but it concerns me somewhat that she might not be super reliable.

[NandaB]

Mar 4, 2018 13:04:26 GMT -5 shakinros said:

Update: Person A’s child is sick so she had to cancel today. Person B came as planned, seems fine. She’s going to send me some references to check, but assuming all is good, I’m thinking of not rescheduling Person A. DD is disappointed that she doesn’t get to play with the toddler lol.

Is it a bad move not to reschedule Person A and her kid? I’m feeling bad about not giving another mom a chance to make some money, but I’m also relieved that her child didn’t have a chance to get hurt in our seriously not childproof house.

If you hire A you will have to childproof at least a room of your house so she doeznt have to be on top of the toddler all afternoon

[xctsclrx]

I would say having to cancel an interview is a pretty good indication of reliability. You can reschedule if you want to, but if I was n her position I wouldn't expect you to.

[mommyatty]

Mar 4, 2018 18:15:00 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

I would say having to cancel an interview is a pretty good indication of reliability. You can reschedule if you want to, but if I was n her position I wouldn't expect you to.

This.

[waverly]

Mar 4, 2018 18:15:00 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

I would say having to cancel an interview is a pretty good indication of reliability. You can reschedule if you want to, but if I was n her position I wouldn't expect you to.

Unfortunately this. If she can't make it to the interview she won't be able to make it to the job.

[2chatter]

This may be a UO - but I don’t feel at all bad not using another mom for childcare. I work. I need reliable care. It’s really that simple for me. I feel exactly zero obligation to help other moms out through employment.

[mae0111]

Mar 5, 2018 10:21:32 GMT -5 2chatter said:

This may be a UO - but I don’t feel at all bad not using another mom for childcare. I work. I need reliable care. It’s really that simple for me. I feel exactly zero obligation to help other moms out through employment.

I felt the same way.  We had 3 nannies, and all 3 were moms, but their kids were older and self-sufficient.  I could not be burning sick days because my nanny's kids were sick, because if their kids were sick and they were young enough to come with them, then my kids would be sick either just before or right after their kids would be sick.  DH traveled all the time, so it was almost always on me if we didn't have child care.  

It was nice to hire a mom that was loving and mom-ish when my kids were little, but I never considered someone that had a little one that would come with them.  I was not paying them to watch their own kid.  I can't take my kid to work, so neither can you.

[waverly]

How did it turn out? I just posted an ad for an after school sitter, but I never had much luck with care or sittercity, so I am not optimistic. Also what is the going rate for the week of babysitting from basically 4-6, M-F?

DS's aftercare is only $80. Half time is $40, so I am still trying to decide if I should maybe (and next year makes more sense money wise because 2 in aftercare)- leave work at 3:15 2 days a week and then DH is home on Fridays on phone calls, they could just let themselves in and watch TV. Then it would go from $160 a week for 2 kids in aftercare to $80 a week.

I don't have bussing for DD anyway, so I don't know if I should just band aid it and keep it going until summer. The boy he doesn't like is in summer camp too, but it goes until 4 so not many kids in aftercare.

And just start something in August or start now...

[shakinros]

waverly Person B seems to have ghosted us. I asked her to send two references Sunday evening. Radio silence since. I’m going to text tomorrow but I don’t expect to hear anything. Back to the drawing board!

I did some messaging today with another candidate. A 22yo who is teaching at a school down the road till 2pm. Could line up perfect with our 2:55 pickup. We’ll see!

We don’t pay anything for aftercare (it’s included in tuition for the K program we pay for that covers half the school day) so this will be a big expense increase. $12/hr seems to be normal rate and we need about 15hrs/week. This plus the K program though is only maybe $50 more per month than we paid for Pre-K last year.

[waverly]

I asked someone for her references today too and radio silence. I wonder what is going on with the universe. I'm going to e-mail her tomorrow and see what she says. She told me phone was better, so I call and nothing....

[mommyatty]

We had the hardest time with getting people on care.com. We finally got lucky, but there were probably 6 candidates we contacted who never got in touch with us. We hired literally the only candidate who showed up for an interview. She was a recent HS grad looking for a summer gig before college, and she was absolutely wonderful.

[2chatter]

I found mine when she posted on NextDoor. Friends have found theirs by posting on NextDoor and parents of high schoolers with early release connected them. You may also call the senior high counseling office to ask if they refer kids, or a local church to ask if they keep a list of kids who are available and explain your hours - both are true here.

[mommyatty]

Another idea is if you have a college or community college nearby, call the Education Dept or Early Ed Dept to see if they have a jobs board. A friend of a friend always gets nannies that way. She’s a morning news anchor so needs someone at kind of odd hours, too, and she always has great luck.