Had first interview today. Not going to work out. Boo why is it so hard to find people right now?
I know I have said this before but after listening to my sister complain and cry about my nephew's epic 3 hour tantrums for 5 years, don't be afraid to get help. If it is bad it may not get better, and I would hate to see a family suffer as long as hers has. He is doing better now that they have all gone to therapy. Not perfect but better. He doesn't have a diagnosis either in case that is a fear of being labeled. They are just working on behavior and having all the caregivers on the same page method wise.
... Aaaaand DD’s illness has turned into an ear infection between Friday and today. I think mine has too, so we are now both going on antibiotics. Lovely.
DS is six and went through a fit phase at the start of the school year (kinder - he was 5). 123 Magic is magical. He goes to his room to calm down (initially this was kicking and screaming, now he goes on his own when he’s upset). Consistency is key. It totally worked with being disrespectful (middle DD).
I forgot about this with DS. He was/is a stubborn kid and often threw epic tantrums but knock on wood, he’s improved so much in the last year. However, there were times I would send him to his room and sometimes I had to drag him kicking and screaming but something magical happened when he got in there. He instantly calmed down. It’s his safe place. Once he was calm, it gave me an opportunity to talk to him where I knew he was actually listening to me.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 5, 2018 13:17:49 GMT -5
2chatter, actually this is where we should probably be focusing our attention. I just have this fear that he won't be able to participate later b/c he hasn't participated when he was younger YKWIM?
But our neighbor friend has her kid in Tennis and he's a rock star at baseball b/c he of his skills with a racket. So it's something to think about.
We do have DS in karate and it's basically his favorite thing on the face of the planet. His belt test is in April and it's basically all he's talked about since joining in January.
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 5, 2018 13:32:53 GMT -5
123 Magic is magical. I'm trying to remember how well it works as DH and I agreed last week that we need to get back to using it consistently. I got to 2 yesterday with DS (he's 4) and he stopped whatever it was that he was doing, did cry or whine, and moved on. Magic.
mustardseed2007 - I totally get it! Select teams by second grade etc. But FWIW there are new kids on DDs’ 4th and 8th grade teams. Some wash out but others make it. I wish there were more sport skills camps so DS could try baseball and basketball without playing on a team.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 5, 2018 13:56:39 GMT -5
2chatter, exactly what I was thinking. There is a one week camp that comes after VBS I am signing DS up for. That's this summer though. Doesn't exactly help right now.
mustardseed2007 - for basketball we have a hoop and DS has learned to dribble and shoot out there - he would have no idea what to do in a game, but at least the baseline. Next up is buying him a glove and ball to learn to catch, catch pop ups and grounders.
When I was a kid seasons didn’t overlap like they do now - it makes me crazy. I played everything at least a couple seasons.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 5, 2018 14:07:11 GMT -5
2chatter, catching with a glove is really hard for DS, but at least it's hard for everyone. Swinging a bat is very hard too, though. He just looks so uncomfortable doing it. He can hit a ball off the tee, but even then it's just hard to get the bat around his body. And we're in coach pitch now so there's no hiding from it. At first, I thought the problems steemed from his size, b/c he basically looks like he's 4 compared to the other kids. But there's a prek kid who is about an inch shorter than him, and he bats like Altuve, so it's obviously possible.
@ mustardseed2007 - can he hit a wiffle ball with a plastic bat? My Dad worked on mechanics with me with those because initially the big wooden and metal softball bats were too heavy/long for me. Once I had the motion down we worked on handling the weight/size. It helped!
mustardseed2007 - I totally get it! Select teams by second grade etc. But FWIW there are new kids on DDs’ 4th and 8th grade teams. Some wash out but others make it. I wish there were more sport skills camps so DS could try baseball and basketball without playing on a team.
This is totally where I live too (select teams by 2nd grade). There was a kid who was new to basketball on DS's friend's older brother's team (4th grade), and I felt bad for the kid. Lots of kids on the team doing cross-over dribbling between their legs, and then there was the new kid who decided he wanted to give basketball a try. Makes me sad for those kids (mostly because I feel like they will feel so far behind, when they really shouldn't feel that way while still that young)...I agree there should be more skills classes or "beginner" classes into middle school.
mustardseed2007 - I totally get it! Select teams by second grade etc. But FWIW there are new kids on DDs’ 4th and 8th grade teams. Some wash out but others make it. I wish there were more sport skills camps so DS could try baseball and basketball without playing on a team.
Are there any small towns near you? Our high school and community center do skills camps for all major sports throughout the year and summer and I feel like this is mostly a small town thing. All of them around us do the same.
erinshelley21 - we moved from a small town and they didn’t have it. Only monthly membership based places offer sports skills classes - the Y, lifestyle centers.
I should clarify that our parks and rec does too, but they get morning snack (muffin or cinnamon roll), lunch (packed from home) and afternoon snack (candy or pastries) plus an Icee. The kids can choose fruit (yeah right). They only offer them as camps. And my kids can’t handle the sugar insanity. It sucks. I lobbied and now they offer fruit, because what kid would pass up a chocolate chip muffin for an apple?
I am beyond annoyed at work right now. Most of my job is pulling data for other people. I also function as a LOG team for the warehouse that I work in (3 of us on the team) I write coding so other people can pull reports from out database and I know they are pulling it correctly. I also maintain/update a BOM and use said BOM to build buy list and other analysis. This is a lot of work. We have 3 people. One of which isn't the most reliable, but good with data entry type of stuff. Team leader is great. I step into his roll when he isn't here.
Now however, we are are being tasked with fixing and updating other sites LOG team errors, or half finished jobs. It is always critical that it gets done NOW, and we are easier to reach different time zones. If these people would just do their job correctly and stop halfway doing their job, it would save me about 8 hours a week. Maybe more. Today half of my day was fixing those issues.
2chatter and erinshelley21, we do 123 Magic (and it is amazing!) but she has started to refuse to go to timeout - screaming mess or running away from us. I think I might try moving the timeout spot to her bedroom to see if that helps.
mellym - DD tried that at 8 and 10. I remove her shoes (they hurt) and carry her literally kicking and screaming to her room - upstairs. It’s a battle. But it only takes a time or two. And I am totally silent while I do it. We talk after.
We do counting and timeouts, and I am dragging her too her room every single time. 75 lbs or burning love. I can’t pick her up anymore, so I give her the chance to go, and if she refuses, I drag her. It sucks. We have at least one screaming match per day, and 5 total, full on, door slamming, screaming meltdowns per week. With an 8 year old.
I do believe there is some anxiety in there, but mostly I believe that DH and I have spoiled her rotten. My last 2 years at work were awful. I did not have it in me to parent properly, and I was solo a lot. This is the result, and it’s taking a lot to undo the mess I’ve made.
I’d love to have one weekend that isn’t destroyed by an epic meltdown. We haven’t had one in so long.
I keep trying to comment and proboards eats it or I get interrupted. mustardseed2007, DS has the same problem in sports. He has been crying the last two games. My mom used to be a Physical Therapist Assistant and she was amazed at how floppy his wrists are. Poor guy no wonder he is having problems. I think there are less sports for boys that are individual. He really likes being a part of a team, so that is hard.
My second interview went great. I think I might hire her.
waverly, we have done tennis, diving (very briefly because the drive), golf as teams but as individual competition. Bowling, wrestling, karate have the same format. It’s so hard with the team thing!
Post by traveltheworld on Mar 5, 2018 19:14:02 GMT -5
Add me to the list of moms whose children struggle with team sports! DS loves all the sports he is in, but he really isn't good at any sport...or even average. I'd happily settle for average. Luckily he doesn't seem to be bothered too much by it yet, but I dread the day he connects the dots.
He is in individual sports like golf, swimming, and skating. But again, it just seems to take him much longer than the average child to learn, let alone get good at something.
I have a celebration: Oregon connected with Federal tax extenders!!! Now we just have to wait for the software to get the updates processed. They originally said they wouldn't decide until 3/18 so I will take 3/5!!!
Add my kid to the list too. DD seems to have to work twice as hard as the other girls at the gym. She finally gets a skill and then has a growth spurt and goes backwards and has to master the skill all over again. Only team sport she has tried was t-ball and she paid attention and really tried but the rest of the kids were all over the place so she didn't really learn anything. She decided against trying it again this year but I plan to play ball in the back yard or at the school just for fun.
Ugh team sports. DD is somewhat talented at sports, but *terrible* at listening. Between ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder, it can take her til a drill is over, after watching the other kids do the drill, to understand what the coach wants her to do. Add to that the problem of teams sticking together even as early as K-1, and she usually ends up a good but unfocused member of a bad team.
Vent: DH forgot to block of his calendar on Friday for our Tahoe trip. So now he has an interview he "absolutely can not miss" (for a candidate who won't be a direct report, not on his team, and has a handful of other people the guy will interviewing with... I contend that he can indeed miss it, but I've pushed as far as I can on that front.)
So this means I'm driving up solo by myself after work with the kids, he'll drive up Friday afternoon, and only one of us will get to ski. If we hadn't committed to going to our friends and DD wasn't looking forward to it so much, I would just bail on the whole thing. I'm so mad at him. But really, I also know that the only way to get his calendar blocked off is to do it myself and I dropped the ball on that. But REALLY, why do I have to be responsible for managing his work calendar?!?!
I just emailed the hiring manager at the company trying to recruit me and let her know the timing was just really bad and that if they're still looking in a few months and she thinks it may be a good fit to research out. Based on my conversation with her... I'm just not at all excited about the role. (This is not surprising... I am not excited about my current role either, but I like the company)
My boss let me know today they're going to move forward with reorganizing our group. They had previously discussed having me manage the whole portfolio with a direct report (A) and pulling everything off of my colleague (D) so he could "focus on new business..." According to D, A refuses to report to anyone but him, so the idea was initially dropped. (Absurd, but also not entirely absurd. He did lure her here with promises unknown from another company) Apparently, our COO called shenanigans, and I was told today it was happening whether or not A and D like it. Not awkward for me at all. I get the feeling that they're preparing to let D go. I am about 70% positive that if they let him go, A will leave shortly.
All that to say... I really should be trying to leverage the opportunity at the competitor into something better where I am (or a place to flee if necessary), but between everything going on... I just can't work up the motivation to do it. (I do have a standing job offer at another competitor as a back up if I need it.)
Is it bad that I saw this thread and thought 'wait, did we just have a weekend?' It actually was a good weekend (a date night, dinner with friends, playground date etc). I think it was erased in my mind because today I was supposed to take the train to LA for a meeting (super relaxing), but it turned into having to drive (much less relaxing, and no ability to do work, so now I'm behind).
Add me to the list of tantrum-y kids, though just-turned-4-year-old DS (middle child) is much more challenging than 5.5-year-old DD. I'm glad to have a sweet 8-month old to balance things out. mellym, how are things going with 3 kids?
k3am - plus one to the work calendar/spouse issue. DH agreed to F2F meetings on Friday of next week. When we leave for camp at 3:00. Two cars to camp? He arrives alone late night? Viable but it pisses me off. He was like “it wasn’t on the calendar” and I was so confused because it has been on the calendar since January. He meant his work calendar. And saw the look on my face and is supposed to tell the client he has to leave at 2:00. All I had to say (holding up the google calendar) was “you are a grown man” and he interrupted me to try to make it better. I realize I’m driving alone but the “effort” helps. I’m deluding myself actively over here. Ugh.
mae0111, all the support to keep up the good fight!
sdlaura, we are still adjusting and trying to find a routine now that I'm back to work. It's hard to even get into a routine though because DH's work hours have been all over the place and our 4 month old has been sick for the past three weeks (never know how many times she will be up in the MOTN). It's been hard on DH because he has DD1 and DD2 more and has to deal with their tantrums, fights, etc since we divide and conquer. He used to let me handle more of that but now he can't and has stepped up. I'm a control freak by nature but I've had to let a lot of things go out of necessity and let him learn and do it his way which has really strengthened our relationship. I do wonder if part of DD1's problem is the adjustment to another kid in the house and less attention. We say the same thing, our 4 month old is the calm to their crazy! Our two oldest love the baby so much so that has been a blessing. How are you guys doing? Any secrets to share?