Post by librarychica on Mar 8, 2018 17:14:43 GMT -5
You see your family once or twice a year. Y’all can lay around on other days. Schedule a lay around day on New Years or Boxing Day or something. He can suck it up.
Post by ilovelucyvv on Mar 8, 2018 19:28:30 GMT -5
We spend xmas eve with the ILs (local), open presents Christmas morning at home, then drive to see my family 2-3 hours away. We’ve been doing it for 3 years and it usually works pretty great. Since this is one of the scenarios you proposed, I’ll support that option. We’ve also done the weekend before xmas with my family and xmas day with the ILs after opening presents at home and I don’t like that option as much.
Post by freezorburn on Mar 8, 2018 22:20:58 GMT -5
Here’s another option: do Christmas somewhere equally inconvenient to both families. Take a trip somewhere. Rent a VRBO or stay in a hotel. Keep presents small or to a minimum since you are traveling, or save big things for a separate gift-opening at home that you can do with the ILs on a different day.
I would totally want to spend Christmas with my family too given that you only see them all together one other time a year and factoring in your relationship with your in-laws. If I were in the same situation I would leave around nap time on Xmas and drive to my parent's house. DH would be welcome to join us or he could stay home being grinchy. You would still get to have your lazy morning with just the four of you but would be able to have Xmas dinner with your family.
Post by HeartofCheese on Mar 9, 2018 9:00:24 GMT -5
I would agree to one Christmas where you stay home and see how it goes, b/c it's one Christmas of many. Not to sound overly optimistic, but you never know what good might come of it. And it sounds like your kids have never gotten to stay home and wake up to Santa coming to *their* house. But I'd put in on your H that he's going to have to enforce some rules with his family. They come only on CEve for a short steak dinner that YH cooks while you "do laundry." Then have your family come (or visit your family) over New Years and celebrate Christmas then.
You and DH need to stick to your guns otherwise they will continue to walk all over you. Easier said than done I know because my MIL sounds similar except she knows what she is saying. You said DH's birthday is the week before. What if you combine the visit for birthday/Christmas to see how it goes this year? Go see your family on Christmas or Christmas Eve. Let go of the guilt. It is not your job to make everyone happy (especially while you're toting around little kids in this stage of life).