Feeling guilty....need to vent

[dglvrk2]

I work in education. Today I was in six back to back individual education plan (IEP)meetings from 9-4. The sixth meeting lasted nearly two hours; was scheduled to be 45 minutes. I scheduled a few check ins with parents and teachers between 3 and 4, thinking I'd be done by 3. While I wasn't the person running the meeting, I tried hard to keep it focused. Other participants, including the parent, were easily side tracked.... When it was apparent I would not be out of the meeting by 3, I opened my computer to email the people I was scheduled to meet, so I could cancel plans. Also had to text someone to cancel and ended up going back to my email a few times to look for replies and urgent messages. Ifeel i got side tracked for a while and it offended the parent. Parent never said anything, but I just feel guilty.

I never disengaged from the discussion...just think the email could have been taken the wrong way. On the other hand, I was feeling overwhelmed and needed an outlet before looking totally impatient.

Perspectives?

[waverly]

Do you work directly with the child and speak to the parents directly? If so you might email them an apology, if you didn't already apologize in the meeting. But if you don't usually have contact with them, then I wouldn't. I am a parent in an IEP meeting and I would think 2 hours was long. I might think if you were texting it was rude or maybe I thought it was for work, but at the end of the day if I had what I needed for my child I wouldn't think about it again. Everyone is different, but that is my perspective/ goal.

[supertrooper1]

I would let it go. They don't know whether you were sending emails or making notes.

[ECB]

I don’t see why you feel guilty. You had other meetings. You needed to let those people know you couldn’t make it. These parents are fully aware it was a 45 min meeting that went 2 hours. They get mad that you were cancelling meetings for them? I just don’t see this as something to feel bad about.

[dglvrk2]

Thanks, everyone! I ended up having to reply to a few emails and review my calendar when the meeting went over; changing plans was more involved than I wanted it to be.

My boss has been super critical of people lately too. Never says anything directly to me in the moment. However, in my review last month, she brought up "problematic" stuff from months ago that was never discussed with me at the time. Completely caught me off guard.

I think the bigger issue here is me feeling paranoid about making mistakes...

[dglvrk2]

Mar 16, 2018 21:30:11 GMT -5 waverly said:

Do you work directly with the child and speak to the parents directly? If so you might email them an apology, if you didn't already apologize in the meeting. But if you don't usually have contact with them, then I wouldn't. I am a parent in an IEP meeting and I would think 2 hours was long. I might think if you were texting it was rude or maybe I thought it was for work, but at the end of the day if I had what I needed for my child I wouldn't think about it again. Everyone is different, but that is my perspective/ goal.

Thanks! No, I don't work directly with the parent or student.....

As a parent myself, I'm happy with a 30 minute conference or even an email. However, my children are not in need of SpEd services, so I'm not in this mom's position. Sounds like you are, so it's good to see your perspective.

[freezorburn]

My perspective, both from various professional settings (non-educational) and as a parent who attends IEP meetings:

It should be the responsibility of the person running the meeting to keep things running on time. Once it's apparent that the meeting is going to run over, it's good form to check in with everyone on progress moving through the meeting agenda. I would say that for a 45-minute meeting, if you are at the 35-minute mark and not even halfway through the discussion points, then it's not a bad idea for the person leading the meeting to call everyone's attention to the time and offer a few options. Because by that time they should know if they are going to get through everything in the allotted time. Especially that late in the afternoon, do the parents need to check on their childcare arrangements if the meeting runs over? Is there a desire to get through all the discussion points before adjourning, or is it feasible to reschedule and resume discussion at a later date (seems like this option is usually difficult)? Do others attending the meeting need a few minutes to clear their schedules so that the discussion can continue? If the 35-minute mark seems to early, I would say that by the time you got to the 1-hour mark might also be an appropriate time to take a break in the action. Especially if the meeting has gone off in a direction that is unexpected. The meeting manager can acknowledge that it's important to give the unexpected direction of discussion the attention it deserves, and check in with meeting attendants to confirm they don't have to rush off or are otherwise distracted by the fact that they are supposed to be somewhere else. Meeting time management is a skill.

Since you weren't the person running the meeting, I don't know what you could have done in the midst of this meeting. Probably depends on the dynamics with your colleague, whether you might have felt comfortable calling attention to the time, or stepping out for a few minutes to take care of your rescheduling. That said, I don't think you handled the situation incorrectly. It's an awkward situation to be in, and I think it's great that you managed to stay engaged in the discussion the whole time.

[mustardseed2007]

I guess the only thing I would think you could do is say - hey listen, I apologize but I'm going to need to jump on my computer to reset a few things because we've gone a bit over here. I just want you to know what I'm doing because this is a priority and I want to continue this discussion.

But the moment has passed and I would let it go. I post mortem every thing I do all the time so I get why you are doing that. But it's not the end of the world and I would let it go.

[vasc]

You’re overthinking this. Do not have a single ounce of guilt.

[campermom]

I agree with freezorburn but also wanted to add...are you an AP? If so, I mean, you have a BUILDING to run and maintain. Going over by more than an hour should have been at the very minimum at least verbally acknowledged by the person who ran the mtg. That would have given you a chance to say just a sec while I rearrange some things.

Do you supervise them? If it was a one time thing well things happen, but If it is a pattern, they need to get better at one of two things: Predicting accurate meeting times or managing when a meeting gets off track.