So there's this Christmas episode of the Office...

[Dorothy Zbornak]

... where Oscar walks into the ongoing Christmas party with his boyfriend Gil and sees Angela singing "Little Drummer Boy." He then says, "Too soon," and walks out again. That's exactly how I felt today when I found myself on the April board on the Bump. Yikes.

Anyhoo, The Message Board User Formerly Known as Harper'sMom came up with the best screen name ever, or at least she alerted me to it, and since I feel like she's my petite California twin, I do what she tells me to do.

But in all honesty, I'm just here for the swears.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

[mscatra]

Butterbrot!!!!!!!

[lolaburns]

Ahhhh!!!! BB!!!

[mscatra]

I can finally know the answer to my burning question:

Did you and your DH ever settle on a cheap US beer? ;D

[Deleted]

I've missed you!!!!! I know that may sound creepy, but I have.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Sept 17, 2012 22:27:33 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I love that episode. Hey do I still get to meet you Friday?

Can you meet up a little earlier? We have so many bitches to see, and we need to be over at a friend's place by 4:30-ish.

[erniebufflo]

I have missed you more than it is appropriate to miss an Internet stranger. Welcome back!

[ashleydl83]

YAY!!!!! We missed your pretty face!

[Regina Philange]

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Hiii. I will have boozed up gummy bears to celebrate. Seriously though, it is so nice to see ya.

[TrudyCampbell]

YAAAYYYYYY!!!!

[mscatra]

Also, your new siggy is GENIUS HILARIOUS.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Sept 17, 2012 22:27:50 GMT -5 mscatra said:

I can finally know the answer to my burning question:

Did you and your DH ever settle on a cheap US beer? ;D

We have gone through all kinds of shit, and it all tastes the same. Coors does seem to be a little better than others, but we have been drinking our fair share of Sam Adams. Although we did have some Amber Bock and that wasn't too bad. My husband bought some PBR, but I didn't try it. I think at this point he has stopped caring.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Sept 17, 2012 22:29:57 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

I have missed you more than it is appropriate to miss an Internet stranger. Welcome back!

Oh man, you Internet strangers sure do know how to make a girl feel loved. Really.

I could regale you all for hours with tales of our hilarious adventures here in America. Well, not really, but we are having a mighty fine time. But, for the record, I think Florida should just break off and float off into the ocean. Sorry you FL bitches, but I don't know how the hell you live in that state. Plus, it was there where Sonic got our burger order wrong twice: The second time it came without a hamburger patty. You have to do a lot to turn me off to Sonic, and Florida you dirty skank, you did just that.

[mamasaurus]

AAAGH! I was just about to try emailing you! So glad you're here!

[erniebufflo]

Sept 17, 2012 22:38:12 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Sept 17, 2012 22:29:57 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

I have missed you more than it is appropriate to miss an Internet stranger. Welcome back!

Oh man, you Internet strangers sure do know how to make a girl feel loved. Really.

I could regale you all for hours with tales of our hilarious adventures here in America. Well, not really, but we are having a mighty fine time. But, for the record, I think Florida should just break off and float off into the ocean. Sorry you FL bitches, but I don't know how the hell you live in that state. Plus, it was there where Sonic got our burger order wrong twice: The second time it came without a hamburger patty. You have to do a lot to turn me off to Sonic, and Florida you dirty skank, you did just that.

With apologies to Tamb, my Burberry Bestie 4 Lyfe, and KF Cupcake, who is super cool, I have said since 2000 that Florida is the Dick of America. But I love Disney World.

[Deleted]

Just fartin'!!!!!

[mscatra]

Sept 17, 2012 22:40:19 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

Sept 17, 2012 22:38:12 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Oh man, you Internet strangers sure do know how to make a girl feel loved. Really.

I could regale you all for hours with tales of our hilarious adventures here in America. Well, not really, but we are having a mighty fine time. But, for the record, I think Florida should just break off and float off into the ocean. Sorry you FL bitches, but I don't know how the hell you live in that state. Plus, it was there where Sonic got our burger order wrong twice: The second time it came without a hamburger patty. You have to do a lot to turn me off to Sonic, and Florida you dirty skank, you did just that.

With apologies to Tamb, my Burberry Bestie 4 Lyfe, and KF Cupcake, who is super cool, I have said since 2000 that Florida is the Dick of America. But I love Disney World.

Get out of my head!

[thedahliharpa]

I have 1% charge on my iPad but FUCK YEAH! It worked! P.S. it's me Harper'smom!

[claralou]

Sept 17, 2012 22:33:05 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Sept 17, 2012 22:27:50 GMT -5 mscatra said:

I can finally know the answer to my burning question:

Did you and your DH ever settle on a cheap US beer? ;D

We have gone through all kinds of shit, and it all tastes the same. Coors does seem to be a little better than others, but we have been drinking our fair share of Sam Adams. Although we did have some Amber Bock and that wasn't too bad. My husband bought some PBR, but I didn't try it. I think at this point he has stopped caring.

Slowly put down the bottle and step away from the Coors. Sheesh- and I thought you were cool!

I beg of you: www.mainstreet.com/slideshow/lifestyle/food-drink/15-deliciously-cheap-beers

Also, welcome back! Add me to the gang of internet creepsters who missed you

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Sept 17, 2012 23:04:03 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I have 1% charge on my iPad but FUCK YEAH! It worked! P.S. it's me Harper'smom!

I feel like I should have held out longer to see what tricks you would pull out of your sleeve to woo me back.

Anyone else feel like these smilies are watching them?

[thedahliharpa]

Back with 4% charge on my phone whew! I shall never leave my chargers in the room with sleeping baby again. ANYWAYS I quite liked being referred to as The Message Board User Formerly Known as Harper'mom because it made me feel like Prince.

[mamasaurus]

Sept 17, 2012 23:07:03 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

Sept 17, 2012 23:04:03 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I have 1% charge on my iPad but FUCK YEAH! It worked! P.S. it's me Harper'smom!

I feel like I should have held out longer to see what tricks you would pull out of your sleeve to woo me back.

Anyone else feel like these smilies are watching them?

I wasn't going to woo you. I was going to send you pictures of the stretch marks on my ass every hour until you relented.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Sept 17, 2012 23:15:05 GMT -5 mamasaurus said:

Sept 17, 2012 23:07:03 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

I feel like I should have held out longer to see what tricks you would pull out of your sleeve to woo me back.

Anyone else feel like these smilies are watching them?

I wasn't going to woo you. I was going to send you pictures of the stretch marks on my ass every hour until you relented.

Bwahahahahaha!

[eav2c]

Hey BB! Err... JustFartin. Glad to see you are here!