lol. In this edition of “wtf did my kid say”

[Leeham Rimes]

Wes has been buggin me about Easter egg hunting at school, wanting to know when it was. I said probably Thursday since that’s the last mandatory day of the week (Fridays are optional in this VPK program). Well he comes home today and says it’s Wednesday and I’m all “ok cool” and then he says “and my teachers said you don’t make the rules of school.”

Lol! I’m dying to know what he said to elicit that kind of response. And a bit fearful 😧. Ha.

[game blouses]

Lol!!

My kids love the Stories podcast, especially the episode with The Pied Piper. The woman who reads the stories does all kinds of dialects, and in this story the villagers are German. So DS2 has been stomping around the house, pointing at us, and yelling "Pay ze pipah! Pay ze pipah!"

[cleo29]

Mar 27, 2018 14:47:48 GMT -5 @natariru said:

S woke up this morning and goes "*sigh* no more birthday... I guess I'm just 5 now."

lol, yep, just wait until you're 35.

I felt this way after my wedding. lol Ugh, guess I'm just a wife now, ho hum. lol

[thebreakfastclub]

My 5yo told me that he is one of the two top generals in the swear word club at daycare. He made up the word pooperoni and was instantly promoted, it seems.

[Deleted]

Mar 27, 2018 15:00:47 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

My 5yo told me that he is one of the two top generals in the swear word club at daycare. He made up the word pooperoni and was instantly promoted, it seems.

Can we instate one of these at work? I am pretty sure I would be the top general. 

[fivechickens]

I was getting dinner ready when A said to me ‘mommy, my beaver likes to take baths’. I said ‘ummmm what?’ She held up her stuff animal beaver that she wrapped in a towel ‘she likes the water’.

[liverandonions]

Pooperoni might be my new go-to word when I can't swear around my kids.

[cville]

I put my son's initials on everything because there's another kid in his class with the same first name. He told everyone the W for his middle name stood for "Winkeybutt."

[lilac05]

hahaha! It's conversations like this that lead me to start the school year off with a conversation with the teacher: You agree to believe only half of what he says happens at home, and I'll agree to believe only half of what he says happens at school. (Only for silly story stuff, of course.)

[Leeham Rimes]

Mar 27, 2018 15:42:34 GMT -5 liverandonions said:

Pooperoni might be my new go-to word when I can't swear around my kids.

I like 'mother of pearl' because apparently I use 'motherfucker' a lot and it's an easy transition. 

[Leeham Rimes]

Mar 27, 2018 15:46:41 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

hahaha! It's conversations like this that lead me to start the school year off with a conversation with the teacher: You agree to believe only half of what he says happens at home, and I'll agree to believe only half of what he says happens at school. (Only for silly story stuff, of course.)

There's actually a poster in the bathroom at his school "If you promise not to believe what your child says about us, we promise not to believe the stuff they say about you". or something thereabouts. ha. 

[cleo29]

Mar 27, 2018 15:49:27 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

Mar 27, 2018 15:42:34 GMT -5 liverandonions said:

Pooperoni might be my new go-to word when I can't swear around my kids.

I like 'mother of pearl' because apparently I use 'motherfucker' a lot and it's an easy transition. 

I say this all the time. lol It is still strangely satisfying, though a good motherfucker is always nice. lol

[miso]

My daughter apparently has an imaginary friend named Ozzie.

He "looks like a mouse" and "lives in California."

WTF.

[CurlyQ284]

My son says crazy stuff all the time. My favorite recent one, he was trying to push his penis down in the bathtub and it kept popping back up and he yells "MY PENIS IS JUST TOO STRONG!!!"

another one lately, we were listening to Hamilton and he heard "diamond in the rough, shiny piece of coal" in 'My Shot'. He asks what that means, we Google how diamonds are made and talk about it. At the end if this he goes "Wait wait wait. If I'm bad...Santa brings me coal...and then I can make it into diamonds?!!!!!"

He cracks me up.

[Leeham Rimes]

Mar 27, 2018 15:52:09 GMT -5 miso said:

My daughter apparently has an imaginary friend named Ozzie.

He "looks like a mouse" and "lives in California."

WTF.

Move over Walt Disney, there's a new mouse in town!

[isabel]

My mom's name is Evelyn. My MIL does this thing with DS1 where she asks him the names of all his relatives. This conversation happened the other day:

MIL: "Colin, do you have a Nana?"
DS1: "Yes."
MIL: "What's her name?"
DS1: *Pauses* "I don't know."
MIL: "Her name is Evelyn."
DS1: "Oh yeah! Like my unicorn!"

Nobody had any idea he had named his stuffed unicorn, let alone that her name is Evelyn. Since then, he'll announce that he has Evelyn or will ask for her by name. I find this hysterical. Evelyn is such a funny name for a two year old's stuffed purple unicorn.

[katfco]

Mar 27, 2018 16:32:27 GMT -5 isabel said:

My mom's name is Evelyn. My MIL does this thing with DS1 where she asks him the names of all his relatives. This conversation happened the other day:

MIL: "Colin, do you have a Nana?"
DS1: "Yes."
MIL: "What's her name?"
DS1: *Pauses* "I don't know."
MIL: "Her name is Evelyn."
DS1: "Oh yeah! Like my unicorn!"

Nobody had any idea he had named his stuffed unicorn, let alone that her name is Evelyn. Since then, he'll announce that he has Evelyn or will ask for her by name. I find this hysterical. Evelyn is such a funny name for a two year old's stuffed purple unicorn.

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

[katfco]

Not my kid, but one of my fifth graders today: we've started studying the solar system, and a kid asked about where all the stardust goes when a star dies. I answered, and then said something about how our whole planet is made up of that material, so isn't it cool that we're all stardust.

Kid: so the stardust goes in the mom and dad's stomach and makes a baby?
Me: {blink} no, but that's a question for another day.

A few minutes later, during indoor recess, another student asked me, "Just how do babies get made? I've been wondering?"
Me: That's not part of the curriculum. Ask your parents.

[cville]

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

Mar 27, 2018 16:32:27 GMT -5 isabel said:

My mom's name is Evelyn. My MIL does this thing with DS1 where she asks him the names of all his relatives. This conversation happened the other day:

MIL: "Colin, do you have a Nana?"
DS1: "Yes."
MIL: "What's her name?"
DS1: *Pauses* "I don't know."
MIL: "Her name is Evelyn."
DS1: "Oh yeah! Like my unicorn!"

Nobody had any idea he had named his stuffed unicorn, let alone that her name is Evelyn. Since then, he'll announce that he has Evelyn or will ask for her by name. I find this hysterical. Evelyn is such a funny name for a two year old's stuffed purple unicorn.

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

[Leeham Rimes]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

Wesley names everything “Wesley”.

[lilafowler]

Mar 27, 2018 15:52:09 GMT -5 miso said:

My daughter apparently has an imaginary friend named Ozzie.

He "looks like a mouse" and "lives in California."

WTF.

I still love Eleanor’s imaginary husband Krystal Emrenberg. She doesn’t talk about him that much anymore (TIP?) but every once in awhile she’ll tell me something about “huzz”. 😂

ETA-the last time we heard about him he was on tour with his band and they were stuck in a hotel because of snow. 🤣

[dropitlikeitshott]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

That's better than the high pitched mmmmmm my son calls his lovey. I have no idea where it came from but when he is looking for it he makes that noise. He's 2.5, so I thought he would start naming things by now.

Eta: cellphone replies and cold meds don't go together. Sorry for all the typos.

[jreeds]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

DD is like this. Her gold fish is named Goldy,lol.

[imojoebunny]

My son (3rd grade) had a project where he is suppose to interview me to make a poster.

One of the questions was who is the most influential people in your life. It is my first boss, whose name was Dick, is that person. DS just about dies, and ask if we can change his name.

Next question: What law has changed in your lifetime that has impacted you the most? My answer Same-sex marriage being treated the same as any other marriage.
DS: Mom, can we call it same gender? I am not allowed to say sex or Dick.

I have no doubt this poster is not going to be hung in a place of prominence on parent night. I am ok with that. Be careful what you ask for.

[katfco]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

When I was a child, I ended up with about 3 white plush bears. They were all named Snowball. 

[flamingeaux]

My son has a little doll named "grandma". It actually looks a bit like my mom.

[shauni27]

Mar 27, 2018 16:01:26 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

My son says crazy stuff all the time. My favorite recent one, he was trying to push his penis down in the bathtub and it kept popping back up and he yells "MY PENIS IS JUST TOO STRONG!!!"

Legit laughed so hard tea shot out of my mouth, lol.

I remember babysitting for a family when I was younger and the little boy was just discovering his penis. In the bath with his sister one day he just burst into tears and said "my sister's penis fell off!" haha

[mrs.jacinthe]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

Mar 27, 2018 18:40:05 GMT -5 katfco said:

When Abby was 2, she got a baby doll for Christmas and kind of ignored it for a couple of months, but then started talking one day about her "emma"--"where's my Emma?" and such. It took us a while to realize she was asking for her new baby doll.

We did not know anyone by the name of Emma. No one at her daycare had that name or anything close to that name. We still don't know where the name Emma came from, but that doll has been Emma for 9 years. 

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

My favorite childhood animals were stuffed bear named Ted and a rabbit named Bunner.  So, perhaps it's just a childhood thing?

[susiebw]

Mar 27, 2018 14:45:05 GMT -5 game blouses said:

Lol!!

My kids love the Stories podcast, especially the episode with The Pied Piper. The woman who reads the stories does all kinds of dialects, and in this story the villagers are German. So DS2 has been stomping around the house, pointing at us, and yelling "Pay ze pipah! Pay ze pipah!"

LOL!  My daughter just got annoyed with me the other night because I was walking around the house shouting about "ze pied pipah!"  My 3 yo DS thinks it's funny.  DD, at 6, is obviously too cool for that.

We love the Stories Podcast!

[redheadbaker]

Mar 27, 2018 18:54:53 GMT -5 cville said:

My kids have two animals with name-names, because my husband and I named them when they were infants. ALL of their other animals are named for what they are: Ducky the duck, BearBear the bear, Raccoon the raccoon and so on. Literally every animal and it's BOTH of them.

The lack of creativity mystifies me. They're not otherwise boring people but they're so boring when it comes to names.

DS does this, too. Silly Monkey, Turtle the Turtle, KittyKitty the Cat ... there only time he gets slightly more creative is with his stuffed dogs, because he has a bunch. There's Beigey Puppy (a puppy that's ... beige), Chocolate (choc lab), Chip (dalmatian), Fuzzy (Pomeranian), etc.