Summary: student wearing a gray shirt without a bra. Told her nipples were showing which was distracting students and was given a shirt to wear underneath. However, she was told that wasn't good enough so was sent to nurses office and given bandaids to cover her nipples. She said she was humiliated. Per the story the dress code doesn't specifically address bras.
I think the specific solution/response was dumb, but I don't have a problem with students being expected to wear bras (or a cami or whatever). I would hope if a young man wasn't wearing underpants, and that could be ascertained by his clothes, that would also be addressed.
I think the specific solution/response was dumb, but I don't have a problem with students being expected to wear bras (or a cami or whatever). I would hope if a young man wasn't wearing underpants, and that could be ascertained by his clothes, that would also be addressed.
Yeah, this never goes the other way. I’ve never heard of a boy being told to wear two pairs of pants or bandage his dick to his thigh.
Not to mention that nipples and a penis are hardly the same. I’m sick to death of girls being told to cover up, especially when they are covered, just “too obtrusive.” This is fucking ridiculous.
I think the specific solution/response was dumb, but I don't have a problem with students being expected to wear bras (or a cami or whatever). I would hope if a young man wasn't wearing underpants, and that could be ascertained by his clothes, that would also be addressed.
Yeah, this never goes the other way. I’ve never heard of a boy being told to wear two pairs of pants or bandage his dick to his thigh.
Not to mention that nipples and a penis are hardly the same. I’m sick to death of girls being told to cover up, especially when they are covered, just “too obtrusive.” This is fucking ridiculous.
Do you think it's okay for women in a professional setting to be expected to wear a bra? I can't imagine being in an office and wearing a light colored shirt (like gray) and not being expected to wear something supportive. Obviously school is different but I do think it's okay to expect students to come to school dressed to learn/work vs. whatever they might choose to wear on the weekends.
I mean, we can get into how stupid (and it is) that women are expected to conceal body parts that men are not but that's an entirely separate conversation.
School is not a corporate environment, where employees are paid to uphold whatever policy the company sets. Kids in school wear gym pants, pajama bottoms, sports jerseys down to their knees, shorts, crop tops, etc., all of which would be inappropriate in an office setting.
Yeah, this never goes the other way. I’ve never heard of a boy being told to wear two pairs of pants or bandage his dick to his thigh.
Not to mention that nipples and a penis are hardly the same. I’m sick to death of girls being told to cover up, especially when they are covered, just “too obtrusive.” This is fucking ridiculous.
Do you think it's okay for women in a professional setting to be expected to wear a bra? I can't imagine being in an office and wearing a light colored shirt (like gray) and not being expected to wear something supportive. Obviously school is different but I do think it's okay to expect students to come to school dressed to learn/work vs. whatever they might choose to wear on the weekends.
I mean, we can get into how stupid (and it is) that women are expected to conceal body parts that men are not but that's an entirely separate conversation.
Is it? I don't think so. I think if a boy were wearing a light-colored shirt and his nipples could be seen through it, he wouldn't be told to put another shirt on underneath.
School is not a corporate environment, where employees are paid to uphold whatever policy the company sets. Kids in school wear gym pants, pajama bottoms, sports jerseys down to their knees, shorts, crop tops, etc., all of which would be inappropriate in an office setting.
I get what you're saying, but I think it's okay for a school to say crop tops and pajama pants and jerseys down to knees isn't acceptable. I mean, there are obviously going to be parameters on dress that's okay to wear to school.
Do you think it's okay for women in a professional setting to be expected to wear a bra? I can't imagine being in an office and wearing a light colored shirt (like gray) and not being expected to wear something supportive. Obviously school is different but I do think it's okay to expect students to come to school dressed to learn/work vs. whatever they might choose to wear on the weekends.
I mean, we can get into how stupid (and it is) that women are expected to conceal body parts that men are not but that's an entirely separate conversation.
Is it? I don't think so. I think if a boy were wearing a light-colored shirt and his nipples could be seen through it, he wouldn't be told to put another shirt on underneath.
Sure, but men can legally go topless and women can't.
Do you think it's okay for women in a professional setting to be expected to wear a bra? I can't imagine being in an office and wearing a light colored shirt (like gray) and not being expected to wear something supportive. Obviously school is different but I do think it's okay to expect students to come to school dressed to learn/work vs. whatever they might choose to wear on the weekends.
I mean, we can get into how stupid (and it is) that women are expected to conceal body parts that men are not but that's an entirely separate conversation.
Is it? I don't think so. I think if a boy were wearing a light-colored shirt and his nipples could be seen through it, he wouldn't be told to put another shirt on underneath.
Exactly this. I’ve never heard of a boy or man being shamed for having visible nipples. The fetishism with women’s nipples is quite disgusting, imo. Breasts are not genitals ffs.
Is it? I don't think so. I think if a boy were wearing a light-colored shirt and his nipples could be seen through it, he wouldn't be told to put another shirt on underneath.
Sure, but men can legally go topless and women can't.
As far as I know, they can in my state (NY.) Maybe not where this happened?
I once managed a restaurant where the owner pulled me aside to address the issue of a worker not wearing a bra to work behind the line making food. Apparently he'd had some friends come in who were just completely uncomfortable with the fact this woman had breasts. I told him that his friend is gross for staring at her chest and he needed to avert his eyes. His response was "but he shouldn't have to." So I said "Well I'm not comfortable with trying to make this other person feel completely comfortable to just ogle my employees." And then I told him I refuse to require any employee to wear a bra unless we require all employees to wear a bra. So that's where I stand on that.
Post by mrs.jacinthe on Apr 6, 2018 22:36:35 GMT -5
I got sent to the Dean's office in college because a male professor/staff member complained I had visible nips through a bra, dress, and sweater on a cold day. This doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
Yeah, I’m never going to be rah rah sisterhood about this (or anything else really). Visible nipple in the classroom are inappropriate. They school could’ve handled it better, and perhaps the need to spell it out clearly in the school handbook, but I’m not as riled up about the situation as some of the other chucklefuckery infused dress code posts that come up on this board.
LOL when I saw you had responded I was like "Kirkette is totally going to feel me on this."
Can you imagine letting your girls go to high school without a bra??
In no school I attended, public or private, would I have been allowed to wear crop tops or pajama pants. School is definitely one of several places you learn how to dress appropriately for your environment.
But teens and preteens need to be given a lot of slack and a subtle hand in appropriate dress. This girl is likely still figure out how to deal with dressing her body, so this particular response was sexist and wrong.
LOL when I saw you had responded I was like "Kirkette is totally going to feel me on this."
Can you imagine letting your girls go to high school without a bra??
Nope. I mean, Kirklette wears a Training Bra now, because things have started to blossom. Also, I don’t believe in the “No Slut Shaming!” nonsense, because that shit only benefits fragile white women. Kids of color don’t have that luxury seeing as they’re treated as grown women starting at age 7 or 8. So, kindly miss me with that bullshit.
Anyway, things kids tried to pull on free dress day, when I was teaching. Wow. I mean, I know you’re 17 and “grown”, but you’re going to need to waltz on down to the office and grab a loaner shirt. No one needs to see all your business, tattoos, your hidden piercings, birthmarks,or foundational basics, in the middle of class. This goes for both boys and girls.
Post by cookiemdough on Apr 7, 2018 5:51:59 GMT -5
Yes she needs to wear a bra. I assumed this was going to be about a preteen who didn’t realize her development yet. But nope. You can’t tell me a 17 year old thought it was a good idea 3/4s through the school year to go braless.
Well, these school officials are all dumber than dumb, so it’s really hard for me to take their side. Between making her put on an extra shirt and then being told to “move around” so it could be decided she still wasn’t constricted enough, making her put bandaids on her nipples, and the last sentence there when they thought it was a good idea to liken this to hygiene and cleanliness, they all sound like morons. Just give the girl a sweatshirt for the day and some sort of warning or detention if they think it’s really that serious, or send her home to change.
This isn’t about not wearing a bra. It’s about nipples. I have extremely prominent nipples that show through lined bras when they have a mind to. I own several pairs of nipple covers to try to keep them in check when I’m wearing thin fabrics. If I’m wearing a light sweater or t-shirt with a lightly-lined bra (e.g. a t-shirt bra) they sometimes show up unexpectedly (including at the office). It’s embarrassing. I do my best, and if they pop up at an inappropriate time, I will do what I can to manage the situation (throw on a cardigan, go to the restroom and give them a rub down, cross my arms or hold a notebook in front of my chest).
I really think nipples are more akin to erections. You need to learn to deal with it and how to handle situations where it is inappropriate. But trying to govern it through a dress code seems futile, because an outfit that’s fine 99% of the time might not work for that 1% situation when your body isn’t doing what you’d like.
This isn’t about not wearing a bra. It’s about nipples. I have extremely prominent nipples that show through lined bras when they have a mind to. I own several pairs of nipple covers to try to keep them in check when I’m wearing thin fabrics. If I’m wearing a light sweater or t-shirt with a lightly-lined bra (e.g. a t-shirt bra) they sometimes show up unexpectedly (including at the office). It’s embarrassing. I do my best, and if they pop up at an inappropriate time, I will do what I can to manage the situation (throw on a cardigan, go to the restroom and give them a rub down, cross my arms or hold a notebook in front of my chest).
I really think nipples are more akin to erections. You need to learn to deal with it and how to handle situations where it is inappropriate. But trying to govern it through a dress code seems futile, because an outfit that’s fine 99% of the time might not work for that 1% situation when your body isn’t doing what you’d like.
It is about the prominence of her nipples because she didn’t wear a bra. They stupidly tried to come up with a a solution, but I doubt they would have sent her to the office for nipples showing if she were wearing a bra.
Post by imobviouslystaying on Apr 7, 2018 6:47:23 GMT -5
Kirkette has it handled, I see.
The school handled it badly. But miss ma'am needs to wear a damned bra. Not an onerous request.
That being said, nipples being hard is just what nipples do sometimes so I hope the school has thought about that for the times when a girl in a bra has some nip issues.
In no school I attended, public or private, would I have been allowed to wear crop tops or pajama pants. School is definitely one of several places you learn how to dress appropriately for your environment.
But teens and preteens need to be given a lot of slack and a subtle hand in appropriate dress. This girl is likely still figure out how to deal with dressing her body, so this particular response was sexist and wrong.
At seventeen she damned sure knows what a bra is and that it's a garment you're expected to wear. Still navigating, my ass.
This seems like something high school administrators should be prepared to handle but I’m not surprised they weren’t and it was handled like this.
I’m not clutching my pearls that the student was asked to remedy a braless situation. I’d feel much differently if this was middle school. If high school is ostensibly a place that prepares you to enter the adult world, then expecting a 17 year old to try to appropriately dress herself, even if it’s not specifically called out in a dress code, seems apt.
But, not every story has a hero and none are to be found here.
Well, I think the fact that our society expects women to wear bras at all is weird- I mean, I’m personally uncomfortable without one just because of flop issues (thanks kids!) but if someone else feels totally fine without one then who the fuck am I to tell them it’s wrong? I’m not saying we should be heading into the office topless, but I just think it’s strange that society gets to dictate what we wear under the clothes we wear. It isn’t my hill to die on, and I’m not going to be burning bras anytime soon (because they’re expensive and I only have two that fit well right now) but the whole idea has just always made me say “huh”. That’s all.
My only issue with school dress codes is when the purpose is laid out as being a distraction to boys- because fuck that shit. My hs didn’t have air conditioning and in May and June is was hot as fuck, but girls weren’t allowed to wear tank tops- not even the really thick, muscle shirt type. Reason being? It would be distracting to boys. So because I was a sweaty ass teenager and constantly had pit stains I wouldn’t raise my hand in class to ask a question because I was embarrassed, which would have been remedied by a fucking tank top, but no. Our shoulders were too distracting. Fuck. That. Shit.
This post reminds me I need to start scoping out training bras for DD.
I still recall the day I wore a shirt to school which for the first time revealed my blossoming braless chest a bit too much. That was a shitty day because kids are mean. I was 11. I had to remind my mom that I might need to add bras to my daily wardrobe.
This was a 17 yr-old? I'm guessing she is aware of bras.
I don't like this anyway, but sometimes my nipples show even thru a bra and shirt. This has been the case for me since adolescence and can be embarrassing enough as it is.
I don't think women in general should feel compelled to wear bras, but I think it's far worse that they tried to address the "problem" by asking her to wear Band-Aids over her nipples.
Yeah, I’m never going to be rah rah sisterhood about this (or anything else really). Visible nipple in the classroom are inappropriate. They school could’ve handled it better, and perhaps the need to spell it out clearly in the school handbook, but I’m not as riled up about the situation as some of the other chucklefuckery infused dress code posts that come up on this board.
LOL when I saw you had responded I was like "Kirkette is totally going to feel me on this."
Can you imagine letting your girls go to high school without a bra??
But Kirkette wouldn't let her girls leave the house wearing what I wear to work half the time but at least I wear a bra *insert crying laughing face here*
(I started wearing a bra in 5th grade though and maybe needed to as early as 3rd. In 6th grade, we had pajama day and I took it very literally and didn't wear a bra. I remember feeling very very embarrassed and stupid when people noticed. Luckily none of my teachers said anything. And I didn't make that mistake again until going out to the bar once in college lol)