week of 4/9

[mpc]

starryfish, you get to go to the best places for work! I just go to Denver and Phoenix, maybe a little Maryland thrown in.
scm1011, how was your RE consult? I hope you're enjoying your week off!
Mushe, 18 weeks! And you're feeling movement, how awesome! Good luck with your interview.
kellikans, I hope the zantac helps. How great that he's gaining so well.

[starryfish]

Apr 10, 2018 9:14:47 GMT -5 kellikans said:

shauni27 , he's still too small for the RNP. He just sinks into the seat and gets all scrunched up. Last night my mom and I switched off holding him. I slept from 10 to 3ish, then took over and she went to bed. I feel like I got some decent sleep and he seemed much more comfortable sleeping on me. I'm going to call the pediatrician as soon as they open and see if we can get him something for his reflux.

I always said I would never cosleep, but I hate seeing him so uncomfortable and in pain.

Can you he sleep in the cradle swing? Or cradle bouncer? S slept in her swing the first week+ and than moved to bouncer and RNP. S had an issue similar to reflux (pyloric stenosis where she projectile vomitted-so it was very serious that we kept her elevated). She slept in RNP or cradle bouncer until she was 7.5m old. (we tried wedge in crib and it never worked bc she slid off of it). People JUDGED me for having her sleep in the bouncer (its the FisherPrice cradle one-similar to the swing) but it WORKED, her DR was OK with it and she slept right next to my bed. 

[mpc]

I am getting really annoyed with so many people asking if I'm pregnant! We haven't told DS yet, and people keep asking me right in front of him. H is out of town but I told him once he gets back we'll need to tell DS right away before someone else ruins it. The ironic part is I was really enjoying keeping this one under wraps more and not having everybody know. I mean you guys know, our parents, and my boss as of monday. But that was really it. Last time so many people knew we were doing treatments so then they all knew fairly early on about the pregnancy.

I know I carry my weight in my stomach so I tend to look pregnant even when I'm not, but there were so many questions from strangers last weekend. I daydream about responding back with "that's a rude question" or "you should never say that to a woman" but in the moment I always stammer and can't do it. And now I really am, so they're not wrong, but I look basically like I did 3 months ago so it's still a hurtful question. AND THEN, at daycare pickup yesterday, one of the other teachers asked me. And she was like, all the teachers are talking about it, everybody knows. I was like WTF. We haven't told anyone at the school or tangential to the school so they are all just gossiping about me... based on what? How I look? These people have seen me daily for the past 5 years, they should know better than that. Or if they really do have this "confirmed" then where did it come from? Maybe there's a simple explanation but right now I just find it all very upsetting.

[ivy]

Ugh, mpc, that is the worst. They are so rude, I hope no one ruins it for your DS. I've had a few people ask me over the last year or so (I guess once you have one, everyone is on the lookout for more), and I'm always so thrown. I'm sure you handled it better than you think you did.

[ivy]

I've been a bit stressed about what we'll do if this FET doesn't work. We have a bit of a weird situation where our doctor only fertilized 8 of the 17 eggs that were retrieved 3 years ago. Those 8 gave us DD and the embryo we just transferred. She acted like it was their standard practice and she said she "didn't want to make us too many babies." So we went with it because we didn't know any better. Well that dr retired and now we're seeing another dr in the practice. He seemed pretty perplexed about why they weren't all fertilized at the same time if it wasn't at our request. It's not a huge deal since we can still thaw and fertilize them but it will cost an additional $7,500! That's basically what we have left in insurance coverage, then there will be the cost of PGD (which we didn't do last time, so I guess I'm thankful we have the opportunity to do it now), then $4K per transfer. We could make it all work, but ugh. We already paid the $7,500 three years ago, what a complete waste to do it again. But then this morning my husband looked into this secondary insurance coverage he has through work (that we're both covered under) that has another $10K of coverage for fertility treatments. That means we can fertilize the remaining eggs, test them, and do a couple of transfers before we're out of pocket. I've obviously not given up on this FET, but it feels really good to know what we're facing if it doesn't.

We were basically 100% OOP last time, so this feels like a small gift.

[Mushe]

mpc, how frustrating!!! My H works with a woman who would say ‘why do you ask’ to any nosy nellies who asked if she was pregnant, when she was due, etc., right up to when she left for maternity leave. 😆 I am struggling to hide it, and apparently a woman on our team asked the manager under me just yesterday. Gah.

ivy, that is strange! That seems like a funny stance for an RE, more of a pro-life argument. I’d be very frustrated if you weren’t consulted on the choice.

[mpc]

Apr 11, 2018 12:43:04 GMT -5 Mushe said:

mpc , how frustrating!!! My H works with a woman who would say ‘why do you ask’ to any nosy nellies who asked if she was pregnant, when she was due, etc., right up to when she left for maternity leave. 😆 I am struggling to hide it, and apparently a woman on our team asked the manager under me just yesterday. Gah. 

I've thought about this a lot (too much) and I don't want to say "why do you ask" because I don't want them to actually answer that. In the past I've just said "I'm not" and I've still had people say "oh but your..." and kind of trail off into awkward silence while they literally point at my stomach. People are the worst. 

ETA how much longer do you need to hide it? 

[thoseareradishes]

ivy, I would consider asking if they would waive some or all of the $7500, since it isn't standard practice for them not to fertilize all of them and you didn't know you'd have to pay again. FX this transfer works though!!

[ivy]

Apr 11, 2018 13:44:40 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

ivy , I would consider asking if they would waive some or all of the $7500, since it isn't standard practice for them not to fertilize all of them and you didn't know you'd have to pay again. FX this transfer works though!!

I'm certainly going to bring it up if we get to that point. This is a big chunk of change! I wonder if the previous dr was confused about our preferences or was confused about our stance on leftover embryos or something. Our current dr said the only reason they don't fertilize them all is if someone has strong religious views or otherwise requests it. It was never a question we were asked, and if we were, our preference would be to fertilize them all. 

[Mushe]

Apr 11, 2018 13:03:20 GMT -5 mpc said:

Apr 11, 2018 12:43:04 GMT -5 Mushe said:

mpc , how frustrating!!! My H works with a woman who would say ‘why do you ask’ to any nosy nellies who asked if she was pregnant, when she was due, etc., right up to when she left for maternity leave. 😆 I am struggling to hide it, and apparently a woman on our team asked the manager under me just yesterday. Gah. 

I've thought about this a lot (too much) and I don't want to say "why do you ask" because I don't want them to actually answer that. In the past I've just said "I'm not" and I've still had people say "oh but your..." and kind of trail off into awkward silence while they literally point at my stomach. People are the worst. 

ETA how much longer do you need to hide it? 

I know! I had a mom at baseball clearly hinting around, so I said I was expecting. Her response? “I thought so, because you said you’re a runner, but you have a bit of a belly.” Hey, STFU lady! 😆 MH’s coworkers were all to polite to explain WHY they were asking.

My interview is tomorrow, and I’ll be in Florida the next week for a conference. I think it’ll be impossible to hide after that! Unfortunately, the hiring process is not likely to be that quick, but I’d feel better at least being past this first one.

[Mushe]

Grrrr, one of my staff (25 on this team, others are in a different unit) confronted me today. I seriously said, why do you ask? “Oh honey, we can tell.” I know she means well, but damn! There’s also a young woman on the team who is pregnant (14w) and has told her manager, but not the team, and this woman told me she confronted that person too. 😥 The other woman also hasn’t shared due to previous losses. WTF are people so nosy???

[loira]

mpc, Mushe, you guys are living in the wrong country. This would never happen in the UK, where nobody asks personal questions. You could be 9 months pregnant and if you hadn't announced everyone would just pretend they didn't notice. Probably you could have a lot of fun with that at their expense, haha.

[pandora89]

@daylily - omg she is adorable, what a sweetheart!

I tested positive for GBS, blah whatever. OB also said he doesn't like to let many of his patients go past their due date and even more so because this is an IVF pregnancy, so if he's not here by his due date I will be induced the week off (which is fine by me). Here's hoping baby boy decides to make an appearance sometime soon. 3.5ish weeks of pregnancy left!

[mpc]

omg Mushe! The gall of some people! I'm sorry. No one should be forcing you into sharing if you're not ready. And really, what if you weren't pregnant? Or what if you had lost the baby? Then it wouldn't just be nosiness, it would be so hurtful.

I realized this morning that one of the daycare teachers babysat for us back in March, so I thought maybe she saw our ultrasound and that's how this all started. Not that I'm thrilled about her spreading it, but it's better than people gossiping about my weight. I asked her this morning and she denied it and even said "that's a bold accusation" so now I think I'm just making it worse. Why is this bothering me so much. I need to just let it go but I'm struggling to do that.

[scm1011]

mpc and Mushe, I am AGHAST that people are so forward and rude about your pregnancies!! What nosy little b*tches. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

My RE consult earlier in the week went well enough. The 4 remaining embryos we have frozen are all good quality, and the plan is to transfer 1, and if that doesn't work, transfer another 1, and if THAT doesn't work transfer the remaining 2 together. Hopefully we won't get to that point, because we are not interested in twins (2 kids total is our limit).

The one huge bummer is that my RE is SO anti-running. She wants me to stop now and we're not even planning a FET until August/September! She was strict last go around, but I thought that was because it was a fresh cycle and she was worried about torsion. She was also upset when I told her I ran my whole pregnancy after the first 12 weeks. She says no more running until after #2 is born, which is just absurd IMO and I'm not going to follow that order. I will stop/slow down once the FET gets closer and maybe through first tri. I know we have a lot of runners on this board and I've never seen others talk about such strict rules.

[ivy]

That is super strange scm1011. FWIW, my RE told me that after my transfer I could "pogo stick out of there." If no woman was supposed to run or be physically active around the time of conception, mankind wouldn't exist.

[pandora89]

scm1011 - My RE, unfortunately, had similar strict guidelines in terms of working out. He didn't even want me doing barre/pilates. My OB was much more lenient in terms of working out once I had been discharged to him but my RE was still having none of it.

@daylily - Will definitely share a picture! I had been waiting/hoping you would too but didn't want to prey (aka sound creepy lol).

[turboteal]

mpc Mushe OMG the gall of these people! I can't believe how rude they are. Like, I work in L&D where it's pregnancy/ babies all the time and we still all know not to ask if someone is pregnant unless they are like actively pushing out a baby! I think I would start responding with some of those rhetoricals mentioned, like what if I weren't, would that just mean you think I'm fat? Or what if I was but just lost the baby? These are the reasons why you don't ask people nosy questions like that, Nosey Nancy. Geez.

@daylily ahhhhhh how cute! Glad she's being so good for you guys!

pandora89 you're so close! That's nice to know you won't go too far overdue!

scm1011 that seems really extreme. I was told to act like I had the flu for 2-3 days after transfer as far as taking it easy, and then nothing strenuous until beta. No restrictions after that, though I only ran one since then and it ended up with some bleeding that scared me into not doing it again. I have meant to start running again since, but I've just been so freaking tired all the time that I have failed so far... but that's on me! I wouldn't follow that order either (obvs, since I did go skiing during my TWW).

[scm1011]

Apr 12, 2018 10:16:04 GMT -5 pandora89 said:

scm1011 - My RE, unfortunately, had similar strict guidelines in terms of working out. He didn't even want me doing barre/pilates. My OB was much more lenient in terms of working out once I had been discharged to him but my RE was still having none of it.

Good to know, pandora89. My OB was similarly non-plussed, and even my RE's NP rolled her eyes a bit last time. Its not like I'm some hardcore athlete. I run maybe 20 miles a week lol.  

I plan to KOKO at least for a couple more months. 

[Mushe]

pandora89, so close! I can’t wait to see your little guy.

@daylily, I’m glad things are going so well with your sweet babe! I’m getting scared about how DS will react. I was hoping your son would have an easier transition, since he’s older!

scm1011, holy moly. 😬 My RE was pretty conservative for the first tri too, but the whole pregnancy?!? It’s funny, but because of the RE’s take, MH was pretty against me running so much during this pregnancy.

[knx9211]

pandora89, SOOOOO CLOOOOSE. Hearing my OB say that they wouldn't let me go past my due date (GD) was the best news I had ever heard. On a Monday, I set my induction date for the following Friday. I went into labor less than 48 hours later. P did not want someone else picking his birthday. haha

[cactuscookie]

Apr 12, 2018 9:17:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

The one huge bummer is that my RE is SO anti-running. She wants me to stop now and we're not even planning a FET until August/September! She was strict last go around, but I thought that was because it was a fresh cycle and she was worried about torsion. She was also upset when I told her I ran my whole pregnancy after the first 12 weeks. She says no more running until after #2 is born, which is just absurd IMO and I'm not going to follow that order. I will stop/slow down once the FET gets closer and maybe through first tri. I know we have a lot of runners on this board and I've never seen others talk about such strict rules.

That's frustrating. I feel like this is one of those things where there's no real evidence that it's an issue, but doctors tell you not to do it anyway. (Don't even get me started on the no-alcohol-while-pregnant rule.)  But it disregards the value that running might add to a women's life. It seems like the positive effects of exercise vastly outweigh the potential negatives, especially when, again, there is no evidence that there's a risk. Ugh, this stuff seriously drives me crazy.

[awkwardpenguin]

scm1011, I had a similar RE vs. OB split on physical activity, and I didn't even get pregnant on a treatment cycle! Once I was discharged to the OB at 8 weeks I was just a normal pregnant lady and no one seemed to care what I did. I biked until 36 weeks with my OB's blessing.

[shauni27]

@daylily, omg get out. She is SO sweet and I cannot believe she is finally here!
scm1011, is this the same RE as last time? Didn't you run throughout your ENTIRE pregnancy (except maybe the very beginning) last time??

[janegold]

@daylily, OMG! She looks SO much like her big brother! She is just precious!

scm1011, that's nuts. Especially months before you even start treatment! Obviously everything went fine last time around, so I would just carry on.

[janegold]

I bought B a scooter earlier this week and for the first day or two, he mostly just pushed it around the house and would occasionally stand on it. Last night, I showed him a YouTube video of kids riding their scooters and he walked over to his, hopped on to it, and started scooting! I'm so proud of my little guy! I can't wait to play with him outside this weekend.

He also started "pre"-soccer last week and got the whole kicking thing down pretty quickly. It's so adorable. H has been out of town for weeks (well, the better part of the last few months, really) but he is coming home today for the foreseeable future, so he will be able to come with us to all our weekend activities - I'm excited about that, too. And hopefully I can also get a few hours to myself this weekend to workout and get a much needed pedicure.

Finally, I complained a while back that B was still in the infant room at school because they didn't have room in the toddler rooms. I heard yesterday that next week he is FINALLY, at 16 months, transitioning into the toddler room, so that is exciting! His canines are coming in and he's been pretty clingy, weepy and tired this week, so I'm really hoping he is in better spirits by next week so he is better equipped to handle the transition.

[shauni27]

janegold I totally read that as B staring pre-k, not pre-soccer. 1) I was like, wow, that was FAST and 2) I was really concerned you were pleased with his kicking in pre-K lol.

[janegold]

Apr 13, 2018 10:27:49 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

janegold I totally read that as B staring pre-k, not pre-soccer. 1) I was like, wow, that was FAST and 2) I was really concerned you were pleased with his kicking in pre-K lol.

Haha nooo, we need to make it to the toddler room before we tackle pre-k.

[pandora89]

Apr 12, 2018 11:46:46 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

pandora89 , SOOOOO CLOOOOSE. Hearing my OB say that they wouldn't let me go past my due date (GD) was the best news I had ever heard. On a Monday, I set my induction date for the following Friday. I went into labor less than 48 hours later. P did not want someone else picking his birthday. haha

I still remember the thread where you posted you were going into labour lol. I cant believe P is 10 months already. I really hope this baby makes an appearance soon. Full term today, you are free to come out wheneverrrr (preferably sooner).

I should probably pack my hospital bag lol.

[Mushe]

janegold, I can’t believe B is big enough for that!!!