Bathing kids

[traveltheworld]

DS and DD are almost 6 and 3, respectively.  We have always let them take baths together.  They LOVE it.  We have a huge tub and they bring in all their bath toys, and can play cooperatively and nicely for as long as we'd allow them.  We started leaving them alone in there to play by themselves while we utilize that time to clean up the house etc.  The other day I walked into DS blowing bubbles on the surface of the water, as DD was half-lying down on the tub.  It's totally innocent, but he was making a trail of bubbles down, and got pretty close to her private parts (although that part was fully submerged, so he wasn't touching her, but just blowing bubbles on the water immediately above that, if that makes sense).

They should probably stop taking baths together right?  What should I say?  I can't really use the excuse that they are too big, because again, huge tub.  And does this mean we should stop letting them see each other naked as well?  Right now, neither of them seem at all interested/curious about boy/girl body differences.

[CrazyLucky]

Mine are 7 (DS) and 5 (DD). They like taking their own showers now, but I would have let them take baths together past 6 and 3. Such a time saver!
As far as not seeing each other naked, that would take significant effort on my part. They currently have no shame about it, and I don't force it. But it's common for one to decide to take a shower in my bathroom, strip, realize they forgot PJs/a towel/their favorite soap and run through the house naked to get it. We do enforce not opening the bathroom door without being invited in. Most advice I've seen regarding nudity is to follow their lead. Once they are uncomfortable with it, that's when it's time to start making sure everyone has more privacy.

[waverly]

We’ve had this happen too. It is innocent, but it just doesn’t look right if you know what I mean.

I stopped having them bathe together- you will have to at some point anyway. I just said he was getting too big because we do have a normal size tub but you could say too old. I have been emphasizing privacy lately but he is 7.5 now. But I suppose you could say that with a 6 year old.

They still see each other naked but more accidentally because we are trying to close doors to the bathroom and bedrooms when they are getting dressed. That part can come a little later. It doesn’t have to relate to the bath, but yeah probably at some point you would start moving in that direction as well.

[justcheckingin73]

You could start by suggesting the idea to the 6 year old and see how he reacts. Maybe he’ll think about it and come to his own conclusion that he wants to bathe alone. As far as seeing each other naked, it may happen naturally. I think it was right around age 7 when DS didn’t want his sister to see him changing or in the tub.

[k3am]

We are 5 and 2 and seeing slivers of it going both ways. DD is already to the point where she kicks DS out of her room because she needs privacy. But she also has no qualms about hopping into the tub with him.

[traveltheworld]

Apr 13, 2018 12:19:25 GMT -5 justcheckingin73 said:

You could start by suggesting the idea to the 6 year old and see how he reacts. Maybe he’ll think about it and come to his own conclusion that he wants to bathe alone. As far as seeing each other naked, it may happen naturally. I think it was right around age 7 when DS didn’t want his sister to see him changing or in the tub.

I have gently broached it with DS before, more because sometimes DD just finished swimming lessons and doesn't necessarily needs another bath.  But he always whines about it.  They absolutely love playing in the bath together.  It's their special treat.   Oh I should add that they only bathe together 2 or 3 times a week, the other times they take showers, usually after swimming lessons.

[k3am]

traveltheworld, I honestly wouldn't worry too much or make a big deal about it.

But my kids also like licking each other's tongues, which we're trying to put a stop to, but having difficulty with. It's always a cringe/try not to laugh and encourage it situation.

[justcheckingin73]

Apr 13, 2018 13:03:21 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

Apr 13, 2018 12:19:25 GMT -5 justcheckingin73 said:

You could start by suggesting the idea to the 6 year old and see how he reacts. Maybe he’ll think about it and come to his own conclusion that he wants to bathe alone. As far as seeing each other naked, it may happen naturally. I think it was right around age 7 when DS didn’t want his sister to see him changing or in the tub.

I have gently broached it with DS before, more because sometimes DD just finished swimming lessons and doesn't necessarily needs another bath.  But he always whines about it.  They absolutely love playing in the bath together.  It's their special treat.   Oh I should add that they only bathe together 2 or 3 times a week, the other times they take showers, usually after swimming lessons.

I hear ya. I’m still trying to get my almost 8 year old to take showers. I may have to tell him that Sunday’s are bath days when he can play or relax with his bath bombs 😂 and the rest of the time it’s a shower. 

[sdlaura]

DD and DS1 are 5 and 4 and when stuff like this has happened I’ve told them that we don’t touch each other’s private parts, and they’ll have to stop taking baths together if they do. It’s easier for me to throw them in together and DD’s hair is tough to wash in the shower because it’s super thick, so I’m only going to stop if it becomes an issue.

[waverly]

justcheckingin73, good idea. DS is the same way.

[phdmomma]

Nudity isn't a big deal at our house, everyone sees everyone else naked pretty regularly. Once the kids start caring we will reign it in. Only recently have DS (6) and DD (3) stopped taking baths together. But that's only because we convinced DS to start showering, while DD still takes a bath. My eventual goal is to have them both shower, mainly because our tube is not very nice and the plug doesn't hold water very well.

[honeydew1894]

Apr 13, 2018 15:31:56 GMT -5 phdmomma said:

Nudity isn't a big deal at our house, everyone sees everyone else naked pretty regularly. Once the kids start caring we will reign it in. Only recently have DS (6) and DD (3) stopped taking baths together. But that's only because we convinced DS to start showering, while DD still takes a bath. 

This is us, exactly. My DS will shower most of the time because it is faster and he gets to Phineas and Ferb faster! Sometimes he wants to get in with DD, but it doesn't last long because they get rowdy and splash water everywhere. Bath is by far the most stressful time of day for my DH due to how much water gets out of the tub.

[xctsclrx]

My kids will probably never bathe together because they will be just far enough apart in age where they won't overlap. Our 3.5year old already showers for the most part. A bath a treat for him. The baby isn't here yet.

The older boys were both boys so it didn't become a thing until the older one wanted his privacy. I think that was close to seven. Broke his brothers heart though. That was a fun transition period.

[librarychica]

Apr 13, 2018 13:08:48 GMT -5 k3am said:

traveltheworld, I honestly wouldn't worry too much or make a big deal about it.

But my kids also like licking each other's tongues, which we're trying to put a stop to, but having difficulty with. It's always a cringe/try not to laugh and encourage it situation.

Omg y’all too?! What is with that?!

We are phasing or the joint bath, partly because of privacy issues and partly because they started fighting in there but mostly because we have a small tub. If you/they want to do a shared bath, I would just remind them like any other rule and not worry too much, honestly.

[akafred]

I would probably start teaching him to take showers and not specifically state they can't take baths together, but let it wind down on its own, if that makes sense. I wouldn't push not seeing each other naked, just again have them do things like get dresses in private.

[sunbutter]

Late to the discussion but we are very liberal about this. DS is almost 10 and DD just turned six. They shared a bath regularly up till about a year ago and we stopped because there was just not enough room. Since then, they have occasionally shared a bath but DS usually prefers showers. They still regularly see each other naked but DS is seeking more privacy.

I hear your concern. Go with your gut but for me, that one observation wouldn’t have made me stop.

[jlaok]

DS (7) and DD (5) still take baths together sometimes. We have a huge soaking tub that they love. Once DS starts caring about privacy I will stop letting them bathe together but so far he doesn't seem to care. They do know that they aren't supposed to touch each others private parts and they have to knock before going into each others rooms etc.

[2chatter]

Middle ground - we reduced baths but they still happen at 10 and 6.

They also shower at the same time sometimes - one finishes practice, we pick up the other. DD coaches DS “you cant get the soap out unless you take a step back. Use your hands to get it out, don’t just stand there!”

Let them be kids! Sometimes! Not always.... I know that’s all kinds of fence straddling but it’s working here.

[waverly]

Any suggestions to get a reluctant bather (7 year old boy) into the bathtub? Once he is in, he usually wants to stay and has fun but he verbally fights me on it. Not in a mean way, but just tries to get out of it as much as possible.

[mustardseed2007]

How about a reluctant showerer? Neither of my kids take showers. It's a time suck for sure.

[k3am]

Apr 17, 2018 14:01:45 GMT -5 waverly said:

Any suggestions to get a reluctant bather (7 year old boy) into the bathtub? Once he is in, he usually wants to stay and has fun but he verbally fights me on it. Not in a mean way, but just tries to get out of it as much as possible.

Have you tried the color dye tablets in the water? It worked for DD when she suddenly decided she hated being wet. 

[mommyatty]

Possibly my kids’ (almost 6 and almost 4) favorite activity is “a family shower” when we all jump in our huge master shower together. Especially the almost 4 year old! DH is a Finn. Family nudity is just a way of life in Finland, so we go with it.