Morning (work/daycare) routine with infant

[sunflower17]

Next week I go back to work and dd starts daycare. Since she doesn’t really have a predictable sleeping schedule I’m not sure how this will work.
l will need to leave home at 6:30am. I’m thinking I can attempt to be up at 5:30.
I’ll likely shower at night because who knows what the mornings will look like. She’s also a slow eater and she’ll need to be fed before the drive because this daycare is 35 min away near to my job. So I’m not sure how to do that. Do what if she wakes at 5 and doesn’t want to go back to sleep? What if I have to wake her-what time? Ugh. Help!?

(This isn’t going to be her long term one—it’s covered by my job for 30 visits so we’ll take advantage of it because then H is off for summer and can be home with her. Her long term daycare is closer to home and will begin in August)

[icedcoffee]

I don't do drop off, but on days that I do I get myself totally ready to go and get everything loaded into the car and then when I'm ready to go I wake DS, change him, feed him and then put him in his car seat and hit the road. If she wakes before you are ready for her I would immediately get up and get myself ready and hope she either falls back asleep or stays calm enough to allow you to finish getting ready. Alternatively, your H could just chill with her while you finish getting yourself ready if he's around. Since she's a slow eater, I would prepare a small bottle just to hold her over for the drive and then I would have daycare feed again when you get there. Unless you breastfeed, then I'd just allow for more time to feed a full feed.

[sunshine608]

You'll figure out a routine. Its so stressful at first, espicially when they aren't on a consistent schedule, but it does get easier as they get earlier.
I wake at 5:30-5:45- a lot of my actual wake up time depends on the last time she ate. Some days are easier than others. I wake up, pump until about 6:15 and then I get ready. I do my make up, hair while I pump. When I'm done ( around 6:30) I wake my 3 year old and we get ready, eat breakfast ect.
Sometimes, DD will wake up at around 6:30/6:45 to eat (depending on her last feeding) if not I wake her at 7am and we are out the door at 7:20. I have a 25-35 minute commute to her grandparents who watch her.

When I need to leave home by 6:30 ( when DS doesn't have school)- I'm up at 5:30 and its just a much more condensed schedule. Pump/get ready until 6:15 then wake DS and get him ready and (we skip breakfast with him cause he eats at our parents).

I do shower at night to make things easier.

When DD wakes earlier I just go with it. I hold her, use a baby contraption or whatever works. a few times, I've had to give up pumping.

Will your DH be there? Mine works nights or is out of town but when he's there its a big help to just keep her occupied if needed.

[Mrs.flang]

My DD was also a slow eater so I left an extra 45 minutes or so into our morning to allow for a long session.  I have to shower in the am, so I woke up at 6:15 for an 8:00 leave time.  If DD woke before that, I'd try to nurse her back to sleep.  Once I was showered, if she was up I let her stay up while I did everything else I needed to do, and nursed her right before we left the house.  If she slept through, I think I would wake her a half hour or so before we had to leave to make sure she got at least a quick nursing session in.

As an infant, I had her in the rock and play and eventually the bumbo chair when I showered and got ready.  She wasn't always happy that I had other things to do.  But I think it was pretty quickly that we got into a good routine and she was more consistent with her wake up times.

[brooke77]

In our normal routine, I wake up at 6. I’ll get dressed, put on makeup, etc. I try to feed DS at 6:30. Most mornings he will eat and then we will change him and leave. Sometimes he is too sleepy, so I’ll pump and wake him up at 6:45 and give daycare his breakfast bottle or give it to him to drink in the car.

We do everything possible the night before - pack his daycare bag, pack our lunches, I shower, so that our mornings are pretty quick.

[steamboat185]

Are you pumping? I kept a pump and parts by the bed. DH would go down and get coffee going, get the bottles for the day ready, and get my work pump bag ready while I pumped in the morning. If the baby wasn’t awake I’d eat breakfast and do my hair/makeup and then wake the baby up to eat. After she ate I’d get dressed. The first day or two will be a bit rough, but it gets easier as it becomes your new normal.

[mbcdefg]

I always shower at night so that doesn't factor into my plans. I also try to thaw something for dinner the night before. 

We had to leave extra time in the first few weeks of daycare because DD would spit up all over the place and ruin her/my outfits. So I kept a lot of clean clothes and bibs ready to go, and learned very quickly that I had to save Get Baby Dressed as the very last thing to do. She was combo-fed when I first went back to work (and I took my pump to work), and exclusive formula-fed within the first month of me going back, so breastfeeding and pumping hasn't been part of our routine for a long time. 

If daycare tells us we need more spare clothes or diapers or wipes, I put those by the door the night before. 

For the first week or two of daycare, I had a written checklist on the fringe that I'd consult before leaving the house with her. 

This is our current routine at 10 months old:

Alarm goes off at 6am. MH gets up first, then he makes DD's morning bottle and our coffee, and he packs her daytime bottles/puree in her cooler bag. )That's the extent of his involvement with her morning routine.) Then MH gets in the shower at 6:15, and I get out of bed and brush my teeth while he's in the shower, and I feed the pets. I get DD out of her bed around 6:30am, change her diaper, and feed her the bottle. (If DD is being especially lazy and won't get up when I first go in, I'll leave her light on and put on my makeup.)

Nowadays once she's done with the bottle, I sit her in her high chair and feed her something else, like fruit or applesauce or eggs. MH will shave, get dressed, iron, eat a quick breakfast while I do this. Before DD was eating solid foods, I'd just cuddle and play with her a bit until MH would leave the house around 7am - 7:15am. 

When MH leaves the house, I put DD in her Pack and Play with toys, while I put on makeup and get dressed. Before we had the P&P set up, I'd put her back in her bassinet when she was very small, and once she could sit up I put her in that activity seat thing. She is generally happy in the P&P for a few minutes.

Usually at this point I'll run all the bags out to the car while she's still in the P&P - my purse, her cooler bag, my lunch bag, her bag of supplies if she needs a restock - so that I don't have to juggle bags + her in her carseat when we're ready to go. (If you have those giant shopping bags from TJ Maxx, they can be handy for this.) And I'll hit the remote start on the car if it's cold out to warm it up for her. 

Then I take her out of the P&P, take her into her nursery, dampen a washcloth to wipe down her face and hands, strip her out of her PJs, change her diaper, and get her dressed for the day in an outfit with a bib. Strap her into the carseat with a couple toys to keep her occupied, and I set her down in the living room. 

I wash my hands and then I do a final quick run through of the house - lights off, necessary doors closed, oven and stove off (I say "OFF" as I check it, so I remember having checked it), doors and windows locked. The cats wait for treats because they know I'm leaving the house (I do this so they don't get locked in anywhere without me knowing). I put meat in the fridge to thaw for dinner if I didn't do it the night before. Then we head out.

To get to work "on time" I need to be out of the house with DD no later than 7:45am. But my job is flexible so we're usually out of the house by 8am. It takes 10 minutes to drive to daycare, and then it takes about 5-10 minutes to get her inside, put her down and put her stuff away, and chat with her teachers.

ETA: I eat breakfast and drink my coffee at work. Now that DD's bigger, however, MH will pour me a cup of coffee while I hold her with the bottle because she's started holding her own bottle. Sometimes I'll have a bowl of cereal/the rest of my coffee while we sit at the table and I feed her breakfast. 

[krystee]

Does your H leave later than you? If so, he should do baby care in the mornings because he can get ready in peace after you leave.

I typically get up at 6 and get myself totally ready. Wake baby at 6:45 and get him changed and dressed (he doesn't typically eat since he usually eats at 4 am, but last night he woke at 2:45, so he did today). My H simultaneously wakes the three year old and gets him ready. Then we leave at 7:15.

Sometimes our routine is thrown off (like today). The baby woke on his own at 6, so H fed him and changed him while I showered, and I got DS1 ready when I was done.

[browneyedgirl9]

DS2 just started in daycare today.

I do as much as possible at night. Pick out outfits. Pack lunches and all daycare bags/bottles. Pack my work bag. I leave anything we need special for the day on the kitchen island, so we don't walk out without it. My husband leaves at 6:15, so I am on my own in the mornings.

I shower at night, so that doesn't factor into my morning. I wake up at 5:50am do my hair and makeup and get dressed. I also make my coffee and eat my breakfast alone before anyone gets up.

6:30 I get DS2 up, dressed and fed. At 7am DS1 gets dressed and we head downstairs. I get DS1 breakfast and he watches a TV show while he eats. DS2 sits in the bouncy seat while I pack up the car (we have an attached garage) and get DS1 shoes on and teeth brushed.

We leave the house at 7:45am. Daycare is 10min from our house.

[sunflower17]

steamboat185, I am not pumping. Exclusively ff.
krystee, yes H leaves around 7:15 and doesn’t get up until 6:30. I may need him to get up and help me sometimes.
Oh and I told him I want to hire someone to clean and had a recommendation and he’s not on board. Well, actually he said he didn’t want anyone in the house, but he figures I’ll do what I want anyway. So, there’s that. He doesn’t clean and I’m going to pay for it because it will make MY life easier. :eye roll:

[pooh8402]

Apr 16, 2018 10:19:15 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

steamboat185, I am not pumping. Exclusively ff.
krystee, yes H leaves around 7:15 and doesn’t get up until 6:30. I WILL need him to get up and help me sometimes.
Oh and I told him I want to hire someone to clean and had a recommendation and he’s not on board. Well, actually he said he didn’t want anyone in the house, but he figures I’ll do what I want anyway. So, there’s that. He doesn’t clean and I’m going to pay for it because it will make MY life easier. :eye roll:

Fixed it for you. That's the key. Your H needs to get up and help.

ETA: when my son was an infant, I had to be at work by 6:45, so I was up at like 5 most mornings to get myself ready and also have time to nurse or pump. I did as much as I could the night before (shower, fill bottles, pack lunch, etc). DH usually got E ready and to daycare (since they didn't open until 7:30).

[thebreakfastclub]

Wow, your H needs to get himself together.

[icedcoffee]

Oh---with the additional info that your H will be home I would absolutely have him help. Give him a list of things he needs to do before you need to leave the house at 6:30. My H doesn't always instinctively know how to be helpful so I have learned I need to flat out tell him what he needs to do. Do not let him sleep in while you run around like a chicken without a head in the mornings. You will quickly become very resentful.

[steamboat185]

Definitely have your DH up and helping. He can make bottles and feed the baby while you get ready. There is no reason you should be doing this alone.

[krystee]

I am getting madder and madder at your H. First no overnight feedings and now no mornings? No. She is as much his responsibility as yours. I'm so sorry he is making you shoulder this alone.

I would sit down and have a matter of fact conversation that once you are back at work, baby care is 50-50. Not only is it what's fair, but it also allows him to spend more time with his daughter, which is important.

[linz]

My H leaves before I wake so when I go back to work I will be alone.

However when my twins were babies he woke a half hour earlier so that we could both feed them at 530 am and I could pump. The babies went back to sleep while I got ready. If he's home he has to help in some way especially until you get a good morning routine down. It's stressful at first.

[mbcdefg]

Wait, what?

Why isn't he helping?

[sunflower17]

Apr 16, 2018 11:45:23 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Wait, what?

Why isn't he helping?

We’re not there yet, I go back next week. I’m just trying to figure out how the mornings will look.

[pooh8402]

Apr 16, 2018 12:56:10 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

Apr 16, 2018 11:45:23 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Wait, what?

Why isn't he helping?

We’re not there yet, I go back next week. I’m just trying to figure out how the mornings will look.

He should already be helping.

[sunflower17]

Apr 16, 2018 10:28:48 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Apr 16, 2018 10:19:15 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

steamboat185, I am not pumping. Exclusively ff.
krystee, yes H leaves around 7:15 and doesn’t get up until 6:30. I WILL need him to get up and help me sometimes.
Oh and I told him I want to hire someone to clean and had a recommendation and he’s not on board. Well, actually he said he didn’t want anyone in the house, but he figures I’ll do what I want anyway. So, there’s that. He doesn’t clean and I’m going to pay for it because it will make MY life easier. :eye roll:

Fixed it for you. That's the key. Your H needs to get up and help.

ETA: when my son was an infant, I had to be at work by 6:45, so I was up at like 5 most mornings to get myself ready and also have time to nurse or pump. I did as much as I could the night before (shower, fill bottles, pack lunch, etc). DH usually got E ready and to daycare (since they didn't open until 7:30).

He will be at home with her during most of the summer so I’ll have a break. Once we’re at the daycare by home in August, I’ll be doing the dropping off and he’ll be doing the picking up. In the morning it’s more on my way than his and in the evening I can’t make it by 6pm when they close, but he can.

[niq]

(1) have you two moved to a faster flow bottle nipple?
(2) pay for a housecleaner, even if it's just a single deep clean between now and when your H is home for the summer. It's not realistic for two people working full time (or even full time + something full time*-ish like teaching) to keep up with everything around the house.
(3) the person who said do as much as possible the night before is right -- when I am on my A game everything is already in the car/bike trailer by the time I go to bed.
(4) H needs to go to bed an hour earlier, so he can help in the morning. He doesn't have to be superdad but he can feed the baby. Everyone will survive with an hour less of TV or video games or even chores for a month or two. Have him put shelf-stable juice boxes and/or Clif Bars in his nightstand.
(5) I don't know how much you want to keep your time between wakeup and getting out the door as short as possible (so you can sleep in). If you want to keep it short, can you put on makeup when you get to work?

It'll feel like a big system shock, and you will find kinks that don't work for you. But after a couple of weeks everyone starts to adjust.

* yes, teaching is a full time job when you count hours outside of the school day (and if 30+ hours is full time, it's already full time)

[sunflower17]

niq, I tried a faster flow nipple a few weeks ago and she scarfed down a whole bottle really fast and spit it up immediately. I have been afraid to try again.

[niq]

Apr 16, 2018 14:09:47 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

niq , I tried a faster flow nipple a few weeks ago and she scarfed down a whole bottle really fast and spit it up immediately. I have been afraid to try again.

That definitely happened to us the first couple of days. You can try letting her have an ounce or too, then waiting & burping for a minute (she'll fuss), then giving her another ounce etc. I think within a week O got the hang of it.

[hamster]

What date is your H off work for the summer? I can't wait for him to handle 100% of the wake ups and keep the house together while you are at work.

[Brit]

I need to leave by 7:20. If things go as planned (i.e. DS is still asleep when my alarm goes off), I wake up at 6 and pack his bottles, put ice packs in with the pumping stuff, put my pre-packed lunch into a cooler bag with ice packs, and pour some coffee. Next, I wake DS, change him, and feed him until about 6:45. He would nurse forever if I let him, but they can feed him again at daycare if he is hungry - the goal is just to feed him enough to get there without drama. After feeding him, I put him in the bouncy seat in the bathroom and shower and get ready. After I am ready to go, we do one more diaper change, into the car seat, and out the door.

I do as much as possible the night before because every minute counts. DH gets DD(6) ready, so that is generally off of my plate. Things are more interesting when DH travels, I have to get up at least 45 minutes earlier because it seems like I can't manage to get both of them ready simultaneously - either DD will somehow get herself unready or DS will need a new nappy or something will derail it all.

[CloudBee]

My DH was "not" a baby guy. The infant stage was really hard for him. Fast forward and he's been an A+ dad since DS became a toddler and beyond.

BUT. He took on 50% of the morning routine when DS was a baby on days that I worked. If I had to nurse, DH packed or washed bottles. If I had to pump, he bottle fed DS. If I needed to put my makeup on, he held DS on his hip while taking the dog out to pee. Our system was very "get it done" focused. We trucked through together.

Don't take it all on yourself. Meet in the middle. You sleep in a few minutes later, your H wakes up a few minutes earlier, and you both split baby duties 50/50 on work days.

I know it's a lot to navigate at first. Don't take on too much responsibility at once. Naturally it can be difficult to scale back once you take on more than you "should" be handling. Split mornings from the get-go.

[Blue Moon]

We have two kids, 3.5 and 11 months, who have been in daycare together since the baby was 3.5 months. Our routine has really been the same all along.

H and I both wake up at 5:15. H immediately goes downstairs and makes all 4 of us breakfast (English muffins and scrambled eggs) and packs up the kids’ breakfast to go. He also irons his clothes, packs his own lunch, and makes his own coffee. While he does this I gather all my pumping parts and pump in the bathroom while I simultaneously do my hair and make up. Then we switch. H goes in the bathroom to shower/get ready while I go downstairs. I put away breastmilk and pack my pump bag for work, put together DS’s morning bottle (he takes too long to nurse), and gather DD, DS, and my lunch bags from the fridge. They are packed but I add ice packs or last minute things as necessary. Then I eat the breakfast H made me and make my coffee. If the kids need extra supplies I gather them and line up everything on the kitchen island. Then I go back upstairs to get dressed and brush my teeth. At that point it’s somehow already 6:15 or so and H is getting our 3 year old up and dressed. He does her hair and brushes her teeth (and deals with her 3 year old tantrums). As soon as I’m dressed I go get the baby up. I usually spend a few minutes snuggling him before changing his diaper and getting him dressed. Then I take him downstairs to feed him his bottle. He now downs a bottle in like 5 minutes so he then plays on the floor for a few minutes with DD while H and I start the cars, run the bags out to the cars, and spend a minute chatting about after work plans. I leave at 6:45 and H and the kids leave a few minutes after me. It’s hectic but H and I together have it going pretty smoothly.

Sometimes it doesnt always work out like that of course. When the baby wakes at 5:30 or the 3 year old won’t put on her shoes we just roll with it. I have a job where I absolutely cannot be late and H’s job is more flexible, so by default he shoulders the brunt of the things that can go wrong in the morning. If you can discuss that ahead of time. There were times early on when we just had a crying baby in the bouncer in the bathroom with us because we had to brush our teeth etc.

[sunflower17]

Apr 16, 2018 18:14:54 GMT -5 hamster said:

What date is your H off work for the summer? I can't wait for him to handle 100% of the wake ups and keep the house together while you are at work.

Second week in June

[mccallister84]

I mean I SAH and H still gets DD out of the crib every morning and changes her diaper.

[tiki]

We have a late schedule, but basically I need to have myself showered, fed, and ready to go by 7am, about an hour before departure. Then I make bottles and pack snacks. DD wakes up (or we wake her up) by 7:15-7:30, one of us changes and dresses her, H feeds her (8-30+ minutes depending on her mood) and then around 8:15 I start putting on everyone's shoes and jackets with a goal of being out the door by 8:20.

When I first went back to work, she was on a very different feeding schedule, with 2am and 6:30am feedings. The goal back then was for me to have her changed, fed, and put back to sleep by 7am so she could get a 1 hour "nap" until it was time to leave for daycare just after 8.

There are also many babies in our room who get their breakfast bottle at daycare. If we had a significantly earlier schedule I'd probably try that. Currently we at least try to have whoever is not doing the morning dropoff handle the first bottle of the day and that's been a huge help.