International trip on short notice--would you go?

[windupbird]

Hi all,

I haven't posted a lot but have a dilemma that I think you all could help address. I have two kids--3.5 and 5 months--who are in day care and generally doing great. I went back to work after a 3.5 month maternity leave and things have been going well. Busy but I got right back into things.

We recently won a large multi-year project and my project manager was supposed to go on a significant trip for a high-level annual conference next week to make contacts for the program and to also have individual meetings with some key stakeholders, including the client. She notified me yesterday that she will be transitioning out of this job and into another one over the next three months. She is still available to go on the trip. However, I feel that given my role and that we know she will be off the project soon it might not be a great idea for her to represent us at the meetings. My boss feels I should try to go, and I can't say I disagree.

However: note the 5 month old. I'd have to leave a week from today for at least 5 nights (the location is a 30-hour flight away). Logistically, my husband can make it work but it's a lot to ask of him. Also, I pump and bf but she gets 80-90% of her food from formula because I have very low supply. I was thinking of weaning anyway but it seems horrible to have the decision forced. The location is so far away that it makes me a bit nervous too.

I think I could reasonably decline and still send the project manager in my stead, given the short notice. But professionally I worry that it will be a bad move. I already have a flexible schedule and don't have to travel often so will declining be seen as a black mark?

I am really torn--I decide one way and then talk myself completely over to the other side. I suppose the kids would be fine, but will I be? I can't figure out what to do. What would you do in this situation?

Thanks...

[ECB]

I would go. If you were exclusively BFing, that would be a different story, but based on the situation as it is... I wouldn't NOT go because of that.

[minzy]

That is tough. I think I would go, and try to keep pumping on the trip (although you'll probably wind up dumping most or all of that). That way you still have the option of nursing when you get back, and you don't have to add weaning into what will probably already be a hectic few weeks with packing, planning any presentation stuff, the travel itself, etc.

[ijack]

I would go. You could pump and dump to keep your supply up.

[windupbird]

That's the thing that is really getting me: I'd have ONE week from today to prepare. I think this is what is flustering me the most. I would be OK if this was next month, but I feel a bit unprepared to leave for 5 nights next week to a location incredibly far away. It's just a lot. I don't know. I could be also freaking out because I am home with baby today--her first sinus/cough/sickness. I guess this means she would be better by next week...but IDK.

[ijack]

The first trip is going to be hard no matter how long you have to prepare for it. And maybe having less time means less time stressing out. Write a list of the things that you feel need to be in place for you to leave and see if it's really doable. I think it you'll find that it is

[Deleted]

I would definitely go. It sounds like it will be good for your career. Congrats on winning the project btw

As far as logistics concerning the trip, can you ask one of the grandparents to help DH out or hire a babysitter to give him an extra pair of hands/a bit of a break here and there? I'd also pump and dump while you're gone just so you're not forced to wean now if you don't want to.

[windupbird]

Thanks, everyone. It helps to bounce things off of others. I think i am going to rip off the band-aid and just go. Probably better now while she is younger and immobile anyway, and it's only 5 days....deep breaths!