So how angry would you be?

[mae0111]

As you all know, I'm pretty much all done with DD1's school.  Mean, lazy teacher, principal who is completely out of her depth and unable to follow up on anything.

Today I got a call asking where DD1 was.  Her teacher reported her absent.  I walked her to the door this morning ON TIME and watched her go in... SO SHE SHOULD BE IN THE BUILDING.  I was quickly put on hold while they "tracked her down".  Turns out, she was sitting in her classroom.  In front of her teacher.  Right where she was supposed to be.  

I'm pretty pissed off.  She's 8.  Maybe double check that sh!t before you give a parent a heart attack?  But everything that anyone at that school does pissed me off lately.  I asked the teacher to correct some errors and omissions on DD's report card, and I know she's angry about it.  I'm not fighting her on grades - grades that were previously there have disappeared, which means they have been removed from the system.  I want them back in.  I need a complete report card for her school application for next year.  I also need the principal to fill out a form that she's had for 2 weeks.  DD2's school filled it out and returned it in less than 2 hours.  So I'm having a hard time judging if this is legitimate outrage, or if I'm just so angry about everything that I'm being unreasonable.

[covergirl82]

Legit outrage. I think this is definitely a situation to be viewed in the context of all other issues. I would be beyond angry. If you call a parent to say "where is your child," you damn well better have thoroughly checked the whole school before giving a parent a heart attack.

I would call the superintendent and make an appointment to meet with them, with today's situation as the last straw.

[erinshelley21]

Yep I'd be pissed. I would even be mad if all the other stuff hadn't happened. Taking attendance is a pretty simple task but also one of the most important. What if it had been the other way around? What if she WASN'T in class but she was marked as present?

I would also be talking to the superintendent at this point as well. Is there a social worker for the school or school corp? I forget if you have tried that resource in all of this.

[2chatter]

I’d skip the local school and escalate as well. I get auto calls from the middle school and sometimes it reports DD was absent from a period. I’ve called the teachers or emailed them and sure enough she was actually there. Now I don’t check so she could totally skip and I would never know. It bugs me, but she’s 14. If it was DS at 6 I would raise hell.

[CrazyLucky]

Oh boy, I would be pissed. I drop the kids off at before school care, not school. So if they called me wanting to know where one kid was (or both kids), I'd be worried to death. Was there a bus accident? Did she go to the bathroom and miss the bus? And worse. And then when I found out she was actually in school - oh boy, yes, I'd be pissed.

[186momx]

Was it an automated call or the school secretary? Middle and High here have automated calls saying your son/daughter missed 1 or more classes today. It is a pain to fix but just a stupid computer type error.

Elementary when the teacher takes a physical attendance is another story. I watched DD's teacher do attendance one morning and it was double done. She did role call then asked the kids who was missing from each row to double check.

I would have freaked if I got the call that DD wasn't in class especially when you have been walking her to school each day. Since it is obvious the principle doesn't care I would escalate it to the higher ups. Yes 1 attendance mix up no big but you add it to everything else it is just the icing on the cake.

[xctsclrx]

Apr 24, 2018 12:34:08 GMT -5 erinshelley21 said:

Yep I'd be pissed. I would even be mad if all the other stuff hadn't happened. Taking attendance is a pretty simple task but also one of the most important. What if it had been the other way around? What if she WASN'T in class but she was marked as present?

I would also be talking to the superintendent at this point as well. Is there a social worker for the school or school corp? I forget if you have tried that resource in all of this.

This is the major concern for me. This could have easily been a teach marking "A" down next to the wrong kids name forwarding the attendance to the front office without double checking, but what about the kid who actually absent. 

Roll call is not hard, but mistakes do happen. Had this been the only incident and everything else was going smoothly, it would be easily forgiven on my end. With everything else though it is just one more strike against them. 

[mae0111]

Apr 24, 2018 13:02:36 GMT -5 186momx said:

Was it an automated call or the school secretary? Middle and High here have automated calls saying your son/daughter missed 1 or more classes today. It is a pain to fix but just a stupid computer type error.

Elementary when the teacher takes a physical attendance is another story. I watched DD's teacher do attendance one morning and it was double done. She did role call then asked the kids who was missing from each row to double check.

I would have freaked if I got the call that DD wasn't in class especially when you have been walking her to school each day. Since it is obvious the principle doesn't care I would escalate it to the higher ups. Yes 1 attendance mix up no big but you at dd it to everything else it is just the icing on the cake.

It's a physical attendance, and I got a call from the secretary.  She could tell I was pretty angry. I said, "I dropped her off myself and watched her walk into the school.  Are you saying she's not there?"  She fumbled a bit, put me on hold, then came back laughing and said, "Oh, she's here, I just spoke to her teacher.  Must be a computer glitch.  Wow, that must have been awful." Giggling continues. "Nothing like a heart attack in the morning."

Pretty much dislike everyone.  

[akafred]

I would be burn it down mad if they called to ask where my child was and she was sitting in front of their face.

[polecat8]

Wow mae0111. Just wow.

I am so glad that you are getting out of that school. I hope you give the superintendent an earful before you leave. If only to protect the other kids that go to that school.

[xctsclrx]

mae0111, wow she was laughing about it? I would have lost it at that point. That should have been an I am so sorry I can't believe that happened conversation with a serious tone vs funny laugh it off moment.

[twinmomma]

I'd absolutely be going to the superintendent. Might even just show up today at their office to fill them in on everything that has been going on.
And this attendance thing is so beyond ok.

[mae0111]

Thank you all for the sanity check. I will be spending this evening compiling my manifesto. I fired off an email to the principal asking for the recommendation info that she's been sitting on for 2 weeks, and asked why I got a call indicating that they had misplaced my 8 year old. 45 minutes later the recommendation was completed and sent off to the private school.

That was the last thing I needed from the school. I just need to decide if I should wait until we find out if she got in to burn it down, or just burn it down anyway.

[shakinros]

Burn it down anyway. You’re not sending her back there next year, right? If she doesn’t get in to this private school, seems you’d be better off shopping around rather than returning to this one.

[phdmomma]

I would still burn it down, this is unacceptable behavior on their part. As talk to the superintendent, he or she needs to know.

[librarychica]

I don’t burn things down lightly and in this case I’d hand you a match.

[sandandsea]

Yep. Outrage. I’d be calling the superintendent and everyone else in the school district on this one. I’d also be writing my online review for yelp, google, great schools and everywhere else too.

[mustardseed2007]

I'll dissent a little. I don't think I'd call the superintendent over this because they did not, in fact, loose your kid. I mean, she was safe in their staff's hands the whole time, where she was actually supposed to be. They did not check with the teacher over what she marked on her roll sheet before calling you, which is a huge procedural gap. If that's how it is there, I'd be surprised if it didn't happen all the time. Also, I think being breezy about it on the phone with you was not a good choice. The laughter may have been that lady's nervous laughter way of handling a fuck up. And this was a fuck up.

Over the things this school has done, I'd be more pissed that the principal hasn't met with me when I asked her long ago or that the teacher refused to let me kid go to the bathroom for no discernible reason other than to be mean, than I would over this.

[waverly]

I would be more alarmed and then relieved then mad I think. Mad might come later.

The whole school sounds awful but since they are 100% leaving I wouldn’t burn anything down either. Maybe they never go back to that school but might go back to the district for middle or high school.

I too would be more in the burn it down mode for the bullying that your child experienced rather than an error even if that error caused me a heart attack.

[mae0111]

Thank you. I plan to meet with the superintendent and outline everything. Basically show a pattern and paint a picture of a school with an uncaring and disorganized administration. I won’t go nuclear because you’re right - we may wind up back in the district. But I will be clear about everything. And I found out recently that several complaints have been registered about this teacher. She should have been fired long ago.

I’d planned to meet with the superintendent regardless of yesterday’s phone call. Yesterday sent me over the edge. As I said, a pattern has emerged.

[sweetptater]

Apr 24, 2018 13:14:55 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

Apr 24, 2018 13:02:36 GMT -5 186momx said:

Was it an automated call or the school secretary? Middle and High here have automated calls saying your son/daughter missed 1 or more classes today. It is a pain to fix but just a stupid computer type error.

Elementary when the teacher takes a physical attendance is another story. I watched DD's teacher do attendance one morning and it was double done. She did role call then asked the kids who was missing from each row to double check.

I would have freaked if I got the call that DD wasn't in class especially when you have been walking her to school each day. Since it is obvious the principle doesn't care I would escalate it to the higher ups. Yes 1 attendance mix up no big but you at dd it to everything else it is just the icing on the cake.

It's a physical attendance, and I got a call from the secretary.  She could tell I was pretty angry. I said, "I dropped her off myself and watched her walk into the school.  Are you saying she's not there?"  She fumbled a bit, put me on hold, then came back laughing and said, "Oh, she's here, I just spoke to her teacher.  Must be a computer glitch.  Wow, that must have been awful." Giggling continues. "Nothing like a heart attack in the morning."

Pretty much dislike everyone.  

OMG I would cut her. Rage. 

[akafred]

I mean, nobody is literally filling up the gas cans and soaking the rags, but in light of everything else that has been going on with this school and a principal who somehow still hasn't met with the parent weeks after it was requested, I think it warrants expressing those concerns over the principal's head. That's what "burn it down" means to me in this situation. Nothing more, but nothing less.

[mae0111]

Apr 25, 2018 8:13:44 GMT -5 akafred said:

I mean, nobody is literally filling up the gas cans and soaking the rags, but in light of everything else that has been going on with this school and a principal who somehow still hasn't met with the parent weeks after it was requested, I think it warrants expressing those concerns over the principal's head. That's what "burn it down" means to me in this situation. Nothing more, but nothing less.

I’m going to do my best not to scream at anyone. It’s getting harder though. No gas cans, but maybe some yelling.

[akafred]

Apr 25, 2018 8:31:58 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

Apr 25, 2018 8:13:44 GMT -5 akafred said:

I mean, nobody is literally filling up the gas cans and soaking the rags, but in light of everything else that has been going on with this school and a principal who somehow still hasn't met with the parent weeks after it was requested, I think it warrants expressing those concerns over the principal's head. That's what "burn it down" means to me in this situation. Nothing more, but nothing less.

I’m going to do my best not to scream at anyone. It’s getting harder though. No gas cans, but maybe some yelling.

You've earned the right LOL. Hopefully the superintendent has the right attitude and yelling isn't necessary though.

[mommyatty]

With the principal, I would lose my shit. With the superintendent, I would treat this like an employee performance review with HR or your boss explaining how the employee is an utter failure and needs to be fired. Very dispassionate, fact-based and blunt. I would pull exactly zero punches. Unprofessional behavior of the admin giggling, abusive behavior of the teacher not allowing a child just back from surgery to use the bathroom, lying by teacher on a point where her lie was easily discovered, failure of principal to respond to an abuse and harassment allegation in a timely manner.

And I would totally put it on greatschools.org because school boards appear to really pay attention to those reviews. Also, I would tell your school board, who oversees the superintendent. They need to know there’s a culture of abuse that is being allowed by an incompetent principal.

[186momx]

I agree with mommyatty, and would be going into this meeting as a power meeting with the big boss. Dress the part, timeline of events, documentation, all in duplicate so you can both have a copy. I really hope the superintendent listens.

[mustardseed2007]

Yeah I guess what I mean is, it's not the kind of thing that, on it's own, I'd go to a superintendent about. Like I'd normally just tell the principal -- listen I think you need to work on your processes.

Since you're meeting with the superintendent this would be the kind of thing that I'd mention as the icing on the cake, and it's say something like "this is the kind of thing I would just talk to the principal about...if the principal would talk to me. Which she won't." 

Am I reading this right? Do you actually have a meeting scheduled with the superintendent? And the principal has never followed through with scheduling a meeting with you? That's really stupid on the principal's part.

ETA: edited for clarity. 

[mommyatty]

mustardseed2007- I agree that if this was the only thing, I would probably shrug it off. Probably send a quick “this happened and you should know” to the principal. But as part of the larger picture? Yeah, at this point I would be jumping on them for everything. I would want them shaking in their sensible teacher shoes so they were careful with how they were treating my kid.

[akafred]

Without the other stuff I wouldn't be going to the superintendent to get the principal's head on a platter, but I would still be pretty worked up and setting up a meeting with the principal to discuss for sure.